Nifty_Swifty1

That's a tuff spot you find yourself in at the moment. Don't worry too much about her threatening to not let you see the baby. You have legal rights, though it may take a little court time. Sounds like you doing things right, with the exception of the lost puppy part. It also sounds like you might be able to get some help out of her dad too. If you think she is going to try and keep you from having anything to do with the baby you might want to talk to an attorney. On the other hand you could just let her keep the baby form you and never have to pay child support, but I think that's a little scummy myself. Good luck and God bless

I'll have a glass of wine whenever I get the chance, especially if I'm not paying, but I'm in no way an alcoholic. I guess the question is does he stop after a coupe glasses, or is he always looking to get a bit of a buzz? It doesn't sound like he gets smashed all the time right? I wouldn't say he is, but that's just me.

DO NOT CALL HIM!!! That only makes things worse. He'll call you in a while, but don't let yourself be easy to get ahold of. Make him try for a while.

I think you should tell her. Just imagine what happens when she finds out on her own? You say you were with friends, and friends talk and eventually slip. It's best to say something up front. Than to hide it and then have to deal with her wrath for hiding it form her.

The only thing that heals a broken heart is time. Keeping yourself busy makes the time that passes less painful, but that's up to you as to what to do. Saying that he thinks that you are going to be better off with someone else is a really horrid way to say that things just weren't working out as far as he was concerned. Ether that or the reason he really broke up with you was something that he just doesn't want to talk about. Ether way you just have to keep going.

All that I said as fact is that there is proof that part of the bible (the part where the Dead Sea scrolls were the original or at very least an early copy of) has not changed over the years. It is my belief that the rest of the book hasn't changed (If God wouldn't allow part of it co change why would He let the rest of it change) but that is based on nothing more than my belief… faith. As for God not being all that He seems to be… your right… He's much more. He's more than any of us could understand. God being a male is somewhat of a falsity as far as I'm concerned. God made man in his own image, then took woman from man, so in my reasoning God would be best described as both man and woman together. In our understanding God takes on more of the tendencies of an alpha male… taking on the role of a more of a father figure than a maternal one. I'm not even going to take on God having no beginning or end again. You're at the same point I was a number of years back as far as understanding that. My understanding of that came from realizing that a 2 disentail object can not comprehend dimensions beyond it. Only length and height make since. Depth is beyond its grasp. Time is as far as we understand. We can know that there is more, but we can't comprehend it. Who wrote Gods words? People he chose to speak to and have them write it down. People and there choices aren't perfect, but God and his choices are. I don't think I ever said that I questioned who God was, and if I did I'm sorry, because I don't think I have. I have had troubles understanding some of the aspects of God, I still do, but all things come to those who wait. Having your own opinion is free will which is both a blessing and a curse. By what I believe it was having your own opinion about something God said that caused the first sin right? It was also the one thing that made us so very important to God that he would die for us. You say that you believe in faith, but what do you have faith in? God bless

I don't think the bible has been changed in translation because the Dead Sea scrolls are most likely the original document or at the very least an early one to one copy. When you take the scrolls and compare them to the current version of the bible they match up almost word for word. I don't quite understand your question on why I can't relate that to Christianity though. I don't know much of anything about the quran though. It's not that someone just decided that they wanted to make God timeless, but I do know how it could make you wander. I didn't get it until at one point I got into reading on dimensional theory. I was only 11 or so at the time, but there was a book that described dimensional isolation in a why that made me understand things a little better. That was so long ago that I don't remember the book though. As for you question as to weather or not I believe that there are Christians at different stages of believing. No I don't. You ether believe or you don't there is no middle ground. There are however Christians at different stages of understanding. All that a true believer is is someone who: 1. Acknowledges they are a sinner 2. Believes that Christ died for their sins 3. Confesses both their sins and that Christ is lord. Everything after that is simply building a relationship and knowledge and faith. Since Christian means christ like, and christ was perfict, by definishion, no one can be a true christian, but I guess thats just me being a little too picky with verbage. I have a question for you though. Why don't you believe that it's a "decision to opt for the one?" If you can pick and choose what you want to believe you aren't really believing anything are you? It seems to me that is more making you own God than believing. I need to got to work God bless

Yes guys can become so comfortable with there relationship that they don't think about things. It happens all the time. I'll as older gents, in the 60's or 70's. when the last time they told there wife's they love them, and it isn't uncommon to hear "I don't remember" or "last year sometime." For some reason its just how some guys are wired. They tend to think that them providing for there wife is a better way of showing there love, or fixing the deck or things like that. I know you aren't married, but those are the examples I have. I'm just saying that you can't expect your guy to show you his affection like a woman would because he's not. He doesn't expect you to show him your affection like a man would. There isn't anything that shows a guy that his girl cares about him like fixing the kitchen sink for him… unless he's threatened by that… you taking his job and all... guys are dumb. You just have to find how it is that he shows his love for you. God bless

God has shown himself to complicatingly (I think I just made up that word but it gets the point accross) simple. It's like love. It's something so simple, but yet no one really ever knows everything about it. Like I said earlier, what makes it so hard to believe that God doesn't have a maker is that we look at things from our vantage point in time. The problem is that God exists outside of time. He can look at time in its entirety (giving way for the Calvinist view of predestination), and we can only see things from the moment of time where we find ourselves. No I haven't tried another religion, and I have a number of reasons why, which all seem to tie together. There are so many proofs that show me that what I believe is true. For example when something is passed down by word of mouth it quickly becomes distorted and changes. For hundreds of years the gospels were only shared by word of mouth, which using common since would tell you that they should be distorted right? Not only that but it had gone through translation after translation. When the Dead Sea scrolls were found that were dated to about 30 ad, if I remember correctly, they still matched up word for word with King James Version of the Bible. If you ask me, that has to be more than just coincidence. Not only that, but my relationship with Christ has never been dictated to me. It has always been personal (because I let it be that way). I accepted this troth when I was very young, but not because anyone presented it to me like you would think. For me it was just me sitting under the kitchen table alone when I was about 4 years old. No one told me I needed to pray the "sinners prayer" no one lead me to Christ except Christ himself. It wasn't a religion I was accepting. I didn't even know what that was. Sitting under that table alone at 4 years old I found a friend. I found someone that took everything I had done wrong as his. It was sort of like when pilgrim's burden falls off and rolls into the empty tomb in the book pilgrim's progress. He didn't understand the burden to be sin, but he knew it was gone. By the way, that's a book I recommend you to read. It's the second most read book in literary history (next to the bible). God bless

I know there is a God because my own personal experiences. More though because of faith, which isn't something you can rightly describe, a goes beyond reason. God is the beginning and the end. To tell you the truth I had a hard time with that myself, because I couldn't figure out how God could have been alone for eternity before creating anything, until I looked at some of Einstein's temporal theories and realized that God doesn't exist within the constraints of the 4th dimension just like we don't exist within the constraints of the 3rd dimension (we aren't truly 3 dimensional characters because we exist through a span of time). I guess I can't rightly answer your question other than to say that God said he was the beginning and the end and because of things I have been through and seen in my life I believe that beyond any doubt.

I really don't know how I would handle that… I guess I've never really thought about it. To me it is just so evident. There were more than 300 prophesies of the coming messiah, and all of them were fulfilled in Christ. There were a group of atheist statisticians a number of years ago that wanted to see what the likely hood someone would fulfill some of the prophesies so they took only 8 of them and found that the probability of one person for filling those 8 was 1 in 1000000000000000000. That still leaves around 300 that will make that number much bigger. The evidences aren't just in the book, they are all over the place. Even in fossil records. Evolution says that the trilapod was extinct millions of years before man, yet the creator of the creation evidence museum has a fossil of a human sandal print with two of these creatures crushed in the heal and toe. I guess that really doesn't prove the existence of God, but it does give a good start in disproving evolution, not only that, but evolutions says that it chouses creatures to become more complex, yet through our observations of selective breading has only made animals less complex. Never, in the history of biology has anyone observed something becoming more complex. Never once in the fossil record has anyone ever found a link from one species to another. … I guess I got a little off the topic. You were asking what I would do if my children were to choose not to believe what I believe… That isn't a choice I can make for them. If that happens that is just something I will have to deal with as it comes. I have no experience to base anything on. All I can say I would do at this moment is to live the love that started this whole conversation the same as I do with my friends that I have now. God bless

From what you have told us everything says she isn't going to. I don't know all the details, but I wouldn't put too much hope into her quitting... at least without a little more motivation. If you find that to be saying that if you find out that she smokes it again you wont be able to continue the relationship, then that's what it has to be and you can't just let it be an idle threat. It looks to me that is you best chance. She'll get angry, but she'll ether deal with it or decide that you aren't worth it. If it were me I would like to know what this woman thought I was worth before I got married anyway.

If it really isn't somethign you can live with (I wouldn't be able to live with it), then saying that she needs to quit or you can't continue with the relationship isn't uncalled for. If you can't live with it and she won't stop then there isn't any point in continuing. One of the points I hear every time from those who think pot should be legalised is that it isn't adictive, so there isn't any reasion for her not to stop other than the fact that she dosn't wan't to. At the moment she dosn't want to. This isn't anythign unreasionable for you to ask her to do. I don't think she's really going to quit for you, so you have do deside how to deal with things from here.

RUN!!! Sometimes you have to come up with compromises in a marriage, and she all but told you that she isn't going to do that. A ring is a small thing, and if has to be her way or the highway on this one it's only going to get worse from here. Take a hint and get out now.

For that question, I can only tell you what I will do with my children. I guess that's getting a little ahead of my self though, need a girl first. The bible says to raise your children in the ways of God and they will not depart from it. I will diffidently teach my children what I believe. As long as they are a part of my household they will be exposed to it, but the decision will be there's as far as what they believe. You can never control what someone else believes, but I'm not a person that believes that god is whatever you choose it to be. There is only one truth and I will do what I can to show that truth to my children and let them experience it for themselves. God Bless

My first thought is that he's a romantic and you aren't appealing to that side of him. To a true romantic you being there and doing the small stuff doesn't say that you love them it says that you are merely responsible. Signs of love are those things that can get lost in the moment for most everyone else. The things that take time and creativity. Here's an example from a friend of mine. He found himself thinking the same thing you are. When I told him he needed to do something creative every once and a while, the next week he set up a scavenger hunt for his girlfriend, and at the end she found him standing in the middle of a bridge in the nicest park in town with 12 long stem roses waiting to take her to there favorite place to eat. It worked wonders. Sometimes you have to get a little extravagant. That was just my first impression of what may be going on. God bless

I think that is about the most in-depth I have written on most any subject here. I'll see if I can find something you would be able to tear into. At the moment I'm doing a little study on convergent churches, but I'm not sure if you would like reading about that. I also haven't quite finished my studies, so I haven't really written anything because I really know very little about it at the moment. I can give you a like to something my pastor wrote (He's a really smart guy as far as I'm concerned). link removed I'll still look for something of mine for you to read though and get back to you when I find something. God bless

Never go into a conversation without atleast one topic you are planing on soving for those aquard moments. Just use something simple like what are your plans for the rest of the week or someting like that.

You read a little too much into the analogy. I was only trying to say that the payment WAS his death. The life of the sinless to pay for our sins. I actually enjoy you asking the hard questions. It makes me really think about what it is that I believe and makes me break it down into more basic peaces so to speak.

Your girl has problems first off. Someone saying that things are over during a fight and then coming back and saying that she didn't mean I only points to problems. Having arguments and disagreements is normal, but playing the I'm breaking up with you game is not. I'm glad you're concerned about becoming a better b/f, and I'm sure that is something you need to work on. We all need to work on that. Most people don't worry about it though. Props for being concerned. The problem is that before you can work on yourself in a relationship you need to be in a stable relationship first. The instability doesn't sound to me to be your problem, your girl just needs to grow up first. Until she changes, anything you do won't make a difference, and if what you do doesn't make a difference how are you going to be able to tell when you have changed something in yourself for the better? Realize that I, and everyone else, have just made assumptions form what you have said. We don't really know what's going on. You have to make your own decision on what to do.

It's nice to see that someone is trying to get something out of my writing. Most people just dismiss what I say. Your first question is kind of hard to explain because it isn't fair. I know it makes it seem even harder for most people because they still equate love feelings, and as I said love can't be a feeling because love never fails and God never changes (love and God being the same thing since God is love… I hope I'm not jumping around too much), and feelings are continually changing and failing. I wish I could explain it better, but at the moment I'm still trying to find that out (I'm having to live it at the moment and it isn't easy). Your second question is a nother point that I'm working on. I have yet to be able to grasp that part myself. I closest I can get is to look in the old testament and see some of the extreme punishments under the law. I wish I had the time to work that point out, but I don't have the hours that it would take to explain… I'm going to say it any way, just realize that this isn't quite as bad as it sounds… If a child was disrespectful of his parents, it was the fathers responsibility to take that child to the elders and they would take him outside the city and stone him (that being the part that I don't have the time needed to explain). There was still love, but even in the most extreme punishment. Now that rationalization doesn't quite line up with what I actually believe love to be, but at thement that is the best I can do to rationalize the concept. Well… not that I've made myself sound like a nut job I'll try your next question. God asks for the first of the first fruits, but only requires 10%. You might not always be able to give your all, but you still have to give your best. … that's a little deeper question than I was expecting, but I'll do my best to explain. The simple answer is that "the wedges of sin is death." The only payment for any sin, even if it be the smallest of lie, is death. Hence the need for a sinless sacrifice to take our sins (Jesus Christ). When and why he has chosen to take payment I don't know. In the case of the flood I believe that it was to prevent the entire world from turning from him. cinciquences are not wronging someone. When a judge sentanses someone to death, he is not wronging them, he is only requiring payment for a crime. You keep up with the hard questions, but I guess it's only fair. I'm having a hard time answering this with out saying something I know you won't understand (I guess I've spent too little time answering this question for people that haven't spent there lives around it). I'll do my best though. The only thing exceptable to God is perfection, which we obviously can't be. A price has to be paid for those imperfections, and like I said before that is death (not only now, but an eternal death of your soul). Lucky for us that price has already been paid. Jesus was completely blameless, but suffered a horrible death in our place. He took our place so that we could take his. He paid the price because we can't. All we have to do is to clame that payment. I'll try and put it in a little more tangible terms. You can have millions of dollars, but if you owe trillions of dollars you are in debt. Once that debt is paid, then you are no longer in debt. You can't pay those trillions of dollars with your measly millions. No one can. I hope you see my point. Sin is that multi trillion dollar debt and God is the only one that can pay that. I hope I didn't go too far in saying what I believe, but it sounded like you were asking me. God Bless

So did you end up looking at my posts? I you really want to get a good look at who I am check out link removed In one way or another that covers about everything that is important to me. That may give you a better idea of why I didn't go very far into my thoughts on gay marriage. I'm a Christian, and the way the country is heading now reminds me way too much of Sodom and Gomorra.

Welcome to enotalone. I hope we can help you out. You might be able to help some of us too. Sadly, that is a normal part of a breakup. I really don't know what causes it, it's just what happens when someone wants to let go of someone, they sabotage the relationship whether they mean to or not. They try and give themselves a reason to dislike the other person because that makes it much easer to just leave. Most people don't mean to when they do it, but it's just what happens. They don't see it happening, and refuse to admit it once it's been pointed out. I'm sorry you have to go through this, but all of us have to at some point. For some reason it's just the way people work.

I know exactly where you are. The exact same thing happened between me and my ex. Once things were no longer convenient for her then things fell apart. I spent the entire relationship giving things up so I could be with her, and in the end she wasn't willing to give up anything for me. The sad part is that you're being used. Now that you're looking for something from her you're going to see who she really is and what she really thinks about you, where she puts you on her list of priorities. Sounds like you aren't very height so she's just going to keep making excuses about how she can't see you, or help or give her time to you. Sadly, I don't think things are going to work out well for you. I hope I'm wrong.

Welcome to enotalone Can't say that it is something that I would enjoy, but I don't think it is abnormal. Stimulation of the prostrate is supposed to be quite enjoyable. I just can't get past the idea of putting something in a place that is designed for the purpose of sending things out. As for what women think of it, I can't answer that for you. I do know that there are women that are into that kind of thing, but I have a feeling that you are asking for what the majority of women thing. You'll have to let them answer that for you.