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Nifty_Swifty1

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Everything posted by Nifty_Swifty1

  1. Nifty_Swifty1
    I know a lot of people would say that not getting along with your family really isn't a big deal in the long run, and if that's all there is then just work around that. I on the other hand couldn't be in a relationship like that (though I can't imagine me starting a relationship like that since I won't even date someone without her fathers permission.) I believe very strongly in blessing, and believe that is one of the many things wrong with marriage today and why it fails so often. I would say that you need to find someone that will love your family as well as you. Division in the family, even extended family, makes for short marriages.
  2. Nifty_Swifty1
    Depending on how scary her dad is, give him a call. Ask him if it would be OK to ask a couple questions. Ask ,very respectfully, if she asked him to do this or if he did it of his own accord. If she asked him to lay down the law for her, then running into her at the mall may be a bad idea. Now if he did it of his own accord go ahead and "accidentally" run into her at the mall, but you still need it to stay a short conversation unless she is pushing the conversation. Ether way I think you should keep your distance for a while out of respect.
  3. Nifty_Swifty1
    It sounds to me like you may be a rebound, and in that case things probably are just going to get worse. Even if that isn't the case my experience would tell me that her motivation for dating you isn't you. For me it was just that I was convenient, but I didn't realize that until it was too late.
  4. Nifty_Swifty1
    How could you thing that he didn't have feelings for you. Unless he's convinced that the guy is better than he is it's going to be crushing for him. No matter how platonic the relationship when it really comes down to it, it never really is platonic. I've had the same problem with most all of my friends, but then again, they have all seemed to marry ex cons and bums that won't keep a job so it's been a little tuffer for me.
  5. Nifty_Swifty1
    I say you need to find another doctor. Putting you on a shelf three narcotic (along with things like morphine) seems a little strange, and the fact that he isn't telling you anything about the drug really has me worried. I would go see someone else as soon as possible.
  6. Nifty_Swifty1
    For those of you that have been around here for a while you may remember me. Things have been busy, and I've missed being around. Anyway, I have a problem. Even though I'm only going to have my job for another month before I go back to school, I can't stand this job. I want to get back to a less stressful job, like being in charge of the safety of 100 or so "normal" people. As it is I'm working at a higher level boys home with 28 delinquent boys from 12 to 18 years old. There have been days where all I have gotten done is to break up fights all day and chase runaways. If it wasn't just another month I would quit. I guess that doesn't have much to do with my question, but how many of you would keep a job you really don't like most of the time if it paid twice as much as most of your past jobs? Would the money make it worth it to you?
  7. Nifty_Swifty1
    This is just my opinion, but a friendship is worth whatever pain comes. Even if it's having feelings that you know aren't going to go anywhere. Being forced to watch my friends pull away from me is the worst feeling in the world. If you ask me, you trying to "wean yourself off him" is you just not dealing with the situation because of you don't really want to decide what to do. In your mind if he isn't around you wont have to make the decision on weather or not to pursue a relationship. It's the best way to avoid conflict whether with it be with you having to say a defiant no to this guy and having the conflict between the two of you, or having to deal with your insecurities and having the conflict be within yourself. I took the little bit you said and made a couple big assumptions, but I hope I helped even if I missed the mark. This is just a question, but when your one of those guys that everyone thinks would be the perfect guy to date, but just not for them, what are we suppose to do? I have a hard time seeing how someone could be to good to date. God Bless
  8. Nifty_Swifty1
    If you think you can actually have a successful relationship with someone so delusional, then it's my opinion that both of you need to be finding some professional help. I know this guy that really truly believes that he has a robotic arm that the aliens gave him. I think we need to set the robot man and vampire girl up so they can be nuts together.
  9. Nifty_Swifty1
    Well, being a guy. You may not put much into what I say, but it is normal to feel like that. All my friends have. It's just part of the female psyche. Why else do you think any woman would go through pregnancy and labor more than once? As to how to keep from feeling that way, all I can say is that you really do have control of what you think.
  10. Nifty_Swifty1
    It's there right to know if you ask me. If there are secrets, then there is no love, then again if there is really love, then there wouldn't be any cheating now would there.
  11. Nifty_Swifty1
    Welcome to enotalone, I hope you find the advice you are looking for. Well, I would wait till the divorce is final, but other than that I don't see anything wrong with your "plans," but just remember that things don't always go as planed.
  12. Nifty_Swifty1
    Just for future reference, Maybe always means no and she's hopping you will just drop it because she doesn't want to tell you the reason. That normally means that you aren't going to get the real reason if you ask. Sorry bro, but it's probably some shallow reason and she doesn't want to fess up.
  13. Nifty_Swifty1
    Some people deal with situations where they feel helpless by not dealing with them at all. If he felt like there was nothing he could really do, witch I'm sure he did, he may have dealt with his insecurities in this very manor. I can't really see how anyone can act like that, but I do know that it happens. People very close to me have reacted the same way to some of the things I have gone through.
  14. Nifty_Swifty1
    It's simple enough JUST TELL HER ALLREADY It doesn't matter where or when... well I take that back. At a family members funeral during the viewing wouldn't be the best of choices, so a bit of tact is needed but it's not a big deal. If you make a big deal out of it, then that doesn't really give you an out if she says no.
  15. Nifty_Swifty1
    Let's see here. For me it would first off have to be someone that knows God, but I don't think that is probably what you were getting at. To get more inline with what I think you were really asking, she would need to know what love is. That seems like something simple, but a quick look as some of my prior posts and you should see that I see love quite differently than most people do, and my "perfect" girl would need to at least come close. Next, she would need to be a bit aggressive when it comes to going after what she wants. Just waiting for things to come to you is no way to get anything done. Someone a bit more toward the affectionate side would be good because that would counter some of the natural tendencies that I know I have. Having someone that will truly talk to you is something that most people never find. No secrets are the only good secrets because things that you already know can't sneak up on you. Other than that things pretty well match up with what the other guys have said.
  16. Nifty_Swifty1
    I'm afraid that you are only kidding yourself. The fact that he would right you and tell you that he's thinking about you shows me that he still is after you so to speak, and from what you have said you intentions wouldn't be platonic for long… if at all. You seem to be trying to give yourself an excuse to get into a situation that you know isn't good for you to be in. If you tell him anything I believe that it should be that you don't want him to try and contact you again.
  17. Nifty_Swifty1
    Sounds to me like you're in rural America, and in that case around here dating usually means hanging out whenever you have and chance and wherever that may be, so "actual" dates aren't frequently required. Once a month is what most people expect. If I wrong, then things change with location. I would suggest that someone carry that dating habits of people here in KS to NY or England. The culture is a bit different, and thus the expectations are different.
  18. Nifty_Swifty1
    Aggressive is good and persistent is bad in this situation… thought I need to say that this is only form my experiences and what not. My thoughts are that you should just go ahead and ask the guy out. He's too anxious to go after you, so you need to go after him. If you keep chasing him and trying to get him to ask you then it's never going to happen. There is nothing wrong with a girl being a bit aggressive. As a mater of fact guys like what this guy sounds like usually like a bit more of an aggressive personality.
  19. Nifty_Swifty1
    I haven't been around much lately, but I've been busy. Well, not that I have my apology done with I need some advice. This weekend I ran into an old friend of mine from high school. We always had a thing for each other, but nothing ever came from it back then. We ended up talking out by the river for something like 5 hours. The problem is that she's 5 hours away, and nether of us are up for a long distance relationship. I'm almost finished with school and am looking to start a career, and she's been sitting out a year and is getting ready to go back to school. Basically she's portable at the moment and I'm not. We both would love to get together but I don't want her to come down here and then have me move to follow a job next year. I guess I'm just asking to see if anyone else has been in this situation, what they did, and what happened in the long run.
  20. Nifty_Swifty1
    Well, after a bit of an absense I'm back Anyone miss me? I have a question, but I think I'll need to give a bit of background. My ex writes me the other day and seems all excited about breaking up with her boyfriend because she's selfish and wants this other guy she's in school with and how proud she is that she is selfish… I didn't really understand anything she was saying after that because frankly none of it made any since. I can normally get into peoples heads and find there motives for there actions, but this has me quite baffled. First off why would she find the need to tell me that information that she knew I had no interest in. I know that she was in no way trying to get back with me because she made it a point to use verbiage that she knows causes me to cringe in disgust. I don't believe it would be to gain me back as a close friend because until, and even since that moment her actions have been to try and keep me as disconnected as possible from her "new" life. Every time a person acts there is some sort of a motive. I guess it just bothers me that something that is so obviously a calculated act is something that I can't find an answer to. Well, If anyone has anything to say feel free to comment
  21. Nifty_Swifty1
    My es is doing the same thing to her best friend. It's now goten to the point where when my ex does come over to talk she just stands there for a cuple seconds and walks away. I really can't help much becouse I haven't been able to help Jamey. I can just tellyou that she's probably not going to feel abandioned like you are wanting her to becouse she simply dosn't care.
  22. Nifty_Swifty1
    Well, there are two possibilities. Ether the guy is truly a nut job and needs to be committed, or he's just looking for the attention which she's giving him. That leaves you with couple of options. Ether call the cops, get his family to have him committed, or if you're relatively cretin that he isn't mad then don't bother with calming him down ignore his pleas for attention and make him leave regardless of what he says. I myself prefer that second choice because I know I guy that spent 7 years in the learned state hospital. He didn't need to be there, but the torture of having to live with the nut jobs there gave him incentive to stop his behavior.
  23. Nifty_Swifty1
    Can I have your girl gogol? Lol Well, I'm single, so I can't really say much except things about my ex Neva knows a bit about my views on love, and that will influence what I say a bit, but I'll try and stick to the "emotional" view of love no mater how much I hate love being defined as any kind of emotion. She was someone who accepted me just the way I am. (or it seemed that way at the time) She, at least at the beginning, would let me be my eccentric self and would at times join me in my random acts of insanity. Our passion for Christ was similar (though it seems that her motives were less than pure) She was one of the few people I have ever felt comfortable around. Now that I look at it things seem to have been a masquerade for her. As intimacy increased openness decreased. I saw that at the time, but didn't realize until now that it's rout was in that fact that lies of character run thin as time goes on. She was closing off not because of anything other than her lie ran out. I know this is off the topic, but why can't lies just be lies? Instead lies of fact become more elaborate as time moves forward, yet lies of character become all the more simplified and shallow. Well, that probably isn't what you were looking for, but there you go. Simple and naive. I guess we all learn lesions with time.
  24. Nifty_Swifty1
    Well, if you want to know what I believe about love, then look at [link removed Helpless As for why love and relationships suck I can't answer that because they don't in and of themselves. When one person is the only one that has love, then that sucks for the one not receiving anything. When you go unappreciated that sucks, when things are over that sucks, but all these things are separate form love. Life isn't easy and we all have to go through tough times, but love is the only thing that makes life worth living.
  25. Nifty_Swifty1
    In my opinion owning up to what you have done is never a bad idea. If there are not secrets then how can there be anything to worry about. The problem being is that your actions and thoughts speak quite loudly about your character. I've trained my share of horses in the past, and you learn to look for things. One is that where there ears point they will eventually try and go there. People have the same kind of thing, but it isn't so easily seen. Where your mind goes you will eventually try and follow unless you make a choice to control your mind. You made a choice to control you body by not doing anything, but that is like painting over rust. Just give it time and it will come back 10 times worse. As long as you let yourself not only like someone but also pursue them (I'm just assuming that you saw this guy more than once), then things are going to fall apart down the line. You made a choice to be with someone and now you have to make a choice to not do something that could endanger that. You have to control your thoughts, and that can be done even though it isn't easy. God bless
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