Nifty_Swifty1

The morning after pill is nasty. I would say that you would only want to take that if you have a really good chance of becomeing pregneant. You should be fine, but even with condoms and the whole bit there is always a chance. Just not a verry good one.

Like everyones been telling you just don't find yourself in the slamer. Remember that she may not say anything now, but if you break up it's all to easy to get back at you by saying somethin and then you're hosed, so don't lie to your self and say that it's going to be fine.

my question is why would you want to? Really, whats the point other than takeing the chance of nicking an aeria that I really wouldn't wan't to be bleading.

Cloths usually work best. Just something a little nicer than jeans and t-shirt for most schools, but others sometimes have dresses as the norm. I guess it depends on what kind of school you go to.

Have you looked into becoming foster parents? My mum and dad did, and even though they have ended up with a couple tuff kids they really like it. If taking the classes would work, then I would say that you should do that, but I think you should rally look into going through the process of becoming foster parents. You sound like someone that would really enjoy the job.

I hate phones. I would do anything to not have to talk to someone over the phone. I've been known to drive outrageous distances to be able to talk to someone face to face. Second to that is through the good old postal service. Truly written form gives you all sorts of time to put down what you really want to say. For the day to day things I'll use e-mail, and if there is no way I can get around it I'll talk to you on the phone. I've had my new cell for almost 6 months and have only been on it for… let me check… nine hrs and thirty one min.

There are definitely more breakups at different times of the year. When school starts is one of the bigger times. There are a lot of reasons for that. One is the drastic change in free time. Some people feel that there partners commitment has changes with the loss of contact that sometimes occurs. That is seldom the case, but the perception is strong. Others find someone else with the swarm of new faces and separation of the summer from those faint crushes the attraction seems stronger. The weather change, the change in environment, With all the changes going on a change in significant other is one of the few changes you can control and some personalities chouse to take that control. Most everything of August and September aids in breaking people apart. The end of September is usually the slow down. You should see a lot of post about going after someone new or how to please the boyfriend or girlfriend that did make it through the harder part of the year. Now is also the time I would expect to see rise in marital problems showing up in the forum.

that sounds like a plan. As long as you find a way to get her to give you some real information. We aren't verry good at guessing are we guys. Everyone tired of guessing raise your hand.

I say you should just get to the point. Next time you have a chance tell her in one way or another. Next time she talks about being friends ask if she would think about being anything else. You say she brings it up all the time. That seems to be quite the natural place to start talking about something more.

Well, I admire a woman that is willing to go after what she wants. If you want a date with a guy, then ask. Now I've heard a good number of women say that relationships that they started didn't work out, but the ones where the guy took the initiative worked out better. I have had a theory on that one for a long time. It's the whole left brain right brain thing. Men are analytical in there thinking and thereforeeee even the most hormone driven guy will make better decisions in who they pick no mater what there intention. Women are much more right brained and are more likely to make decisions based on the hormone controlled emotions rather then from an analytical position and even when an analytical process is used it is only used to justify instead of screening out those people that wouldn't work. That being said, if you can cause yourself to see things from a broader perspective I would suggest that women do a little more chasing. It makes things a lot more fun for guys like me.

Well, I really don't know about double standards. I view anyone that sleeps around unfavorably, and would love for a woman to take a little initiative. How about this double standard? Women want to be completely equal with men. What if the next step was to have every woman between 18 and 35 register for the draft? The ones that have enlisted aren't allowed to be in a combat zone… I have yet to hear a woman complain that they are healed to a different standard on that one. I'm not trying to be chauvinistic or anything. It's just a little food for thought.

Well, scout asked if I thought that you could really get to know someone in just 3 dates. The thing is that here in the mid-west that isn't much of a problem. City's around here are normally less than 3,000 people, so you know the people around you long before you have a chance to date, and even if you don't someone will fill you in after your first because around here one person's business is everyone's business. It's all about the social structure of the environment that you're in. That's what works here, but somewhere that allows more anonymity I do agree that three dates isn't long enough especially when that may be the only time you really see one another.

It all depends on where you are. Here in KS there really is no such thing as cashual dateing. Most people go by the "3 date rool." Just dateing means you aren't thinking of proposing. It's something a little foren to most of the big city people (I don't mean to sound like a hick, but I don't know how else to put it) but it's gust part of the sociological structure around here. On the other hand my friends on ether cost view just dateing as still being single, but you have someone to call if you need a date for a party.

Here is what love is. God is love, so Love has to be God. That means that any characteristics of God are characteristics of love and any characteristics of love are characteristics of God. You cannot separate the two. Just as I am Nifty_Swity1, so Nifty_Swity1has to be me. If you don't know Nifty_Swity1, then you don't know me and if you don't know me, then you don't know Nifty_Swity1. If you don't know love, then you don't know God. Your misunderstanding of love hinders your understanding of God. It also works the other way around. Your misunderstanding of God will cause you to distort your understanding of love. That being the case lets take a closer look at what love is... At the same time well have to take a look at what God is since you can't separate the two. There is only one God so there can be only one love and at first glance that doesn't seem very realistic that you have to love everyone from you're spouse to your enemy the same, but you have to realize that God is father, son, and spirit. Three different embodiments of the same God... the same function. The father none of us have experienced but he can be understood only through the other two and we will only be able to truly experience him when we meat him in heaven. The Son was given to a select few at a select time and a select place. The Spirit was given to everyone regardless of who they were, where they were or when they were. That means that there has to be three kinds of love, Agape, Arose, and phelayo. Agape is the love of God and can only be understood through the other two until the time we experience it in heaven. Arose, the romantic love between a husband and wife, is given to a select person at a select time and a select place, and phelayo, brotherly love, should be given to everyone regardless of where, who, or when. The kicker is that even though they are different embodiments of love they still have to be the same love. That's what still has me working. I can love my friends, family and the "one I love" the same, but I have yet to be able to love my enemy in the same manor. How do you love some rude bum in the street the same as you love your best friend. How can you love the man that breaks into your home and kills your children the same as you loved those children. You can't even hate that man for a second. Hate cannot be in the presense of love just as sin cannot be in the presense of God. Now I'm not in any way saying that you can't be angry. God has been very angry several times throughout history. Once he destroyed everything on earth because of his anger. He almost destroyed his people because he was angry, but the love he had for his creation always preserved his creation... even if it was only Lots Family from two cities, or one family and two of each of his creations of the whole earth as with Noah. Love never fails... For most people that have been conditioned to see love as the world sees it that seems impossible. I hear it all the time. "That's my ex. I don't love him any more." "She stabbed me in the back... were not friends any more." "I don't have feelings for them any more, so I don't love them." There is nothing in life that makes me angrier. Love never fails. That means that if it fails, then it was never love to begin with and if you still call it love, then you have no idea what love really is. All that these thing are is nothing more than infatuations... lust... These people stopped being friends, or dating... or maybe even got a divorce because there feelings changed. Love has NOTHING to do with feelings. God is the same yesterday, today and forever. God never changes and if God never changes then love never changes. Feelings change all the time, so you can't say that love involves feelings. I hear all the time that people are looking for there true love. What they are really saying is that they want someone the come along and cause them to have feelings for them. They want that magical click. They think that if the right person comes along that they won't be able to help but love them. That's just setting yourself up for a big kick in the teeth because you are basing your relationship on nothing more than lust. That's not how love is. Love is a choice. It's the choice you make to invest in that person and to really give them a peace of who you are, to let them cut covenant with you. That is love. Love is a choice... not feelings. It's that choice that causes those feelings that you're looking for, but you always have to remember that feelings change and that those feeling are not love. Love is the choices you make. Are there things that Love wants? Yes, God wants the best of you crop, and so dose love. If you aren't willing to give the best of what you have it isn't love. You remember all of the sermonetts that you hear every week for offering? That is what love is because that is what God is. Love is investment of everything you have. God gave us everything didn't he? There can't be love without investment. Unless you are willing give of what you have, what you want, and who you are it isn't love. God never changes. The love for the people I have been able to love has never changed, but life would be so much easer if it could change. When the Jews cut covalent with the.... well, I don't remember right now and I don't have a bible with me, but I think they were the Imeaicites or something like that… Any way, as they were taking the Promised Land a group of people came to them pretending to be travelers from a far off land and they cut covenant with Israel and because of that covenant Israel could not harm them. They had to honor that covenant even though they had been lied to. Love is a covenant, and even when you're lied to or hurt you can't break it. Jesus was the blood sacrifice for the new covenant, and as I said before Jesus, the son, is represented in love by Arose love, so lets take a quick look at what is involved in blood covenant. First two Designated individuals, or representatives of two families, or any two groups of people would meat at designated place and time. During the ceremony of Blood covenant a number of things would be exchanged. Names would be exchanged, so that you would no longer be able to associate one separately from the other. Mantels would be exchanged representing the blessing of the other (Remember Elijah and Elisha? Elisha wanted nothing more than Elijah's mantle. He followed him around for years holding it for him in hopes that it would be given to him in the end. He wanted that blessing more than anything and he would do what ever it took to have it). They would exchange weapons. Not only did that signify the protection of each other, but also once you gave the other person your weapon they could do what they want with it and whatever they did, they were doing with your weapon, what they did you were doing. They would also exchange places. It wasn't enough to have the others name and weapon and blessing. They would exchange places, meeting in the middle to represent that they were truly one and the same. They became the other. I hope I'm not the only one that sees that is the same as marriage. David cut covenant with Jonathan in because of the love they had for on another. Lets take a look at what this covenant ended up showing us in the end after Jonathan had died. David was so driven by the covenant that he had with Jonathan that he asked to find anyone related to him so he could honor his covenant. The only relative they could find was Methesishef, An old lame guy. Now here is where things get really interesting. It was agents the law for the lame to be in the city. Not only was Methesishef in the city. He was in the palace. Now only was he in the palace, he was in the kings court. Not only was he in the kings court, he ate at the kings table. The covenant that David had with Jonathan not only healed David and Jonathan together, it held David to everyone in Jonathan's family. The love David had for Jonathan was above the law. He shattered that law for the sake of his love for Jonathan. That seems a lot like what the sacrifice of Jesus did for us. Someone who sins isn't a lowed in Gods presense, but the covenant God cut with us using his son as a sacrifice covered our sins and we are allowed to sit at his table and eat that which was saved for the sinless. Think about that for a second. Jesus never drank from the cup at that last supper, but he gave what was saved for the sinless to sinners, he gave what was his to everyone else. Understanding of God and love has to be a lifelong study. You will never be able to have a complete understanding of God, just as you will never have a complete understanding of love, but you can always learn and come closer to understanding. Everyday you spend in the Bible you understand more of who God is, and as long as you remember that God is love you will understand more of love. As far as cyber relationships, they are no more real than romance novels while they are solely in cyber space. there is nothing to bring the relationship past fantasy until a relationship can be forged past the purely informational form of the internet.

10 months It's been a year, and I still haven't found anyone... but it took me 20 years to find someone the first time, so for me a year dosn't seem to be that long... I just hope it dosn't take me a nother 20 years... that would make me verry old to have only my second g/f

1.) 10 Months 2.) not yet, but its only been a year Jerhico. I must disagree with what you said about love. Love has to be a completely selfless act or it isn't love. Now on the other hand a relationship has to be between two selfless people to be able to work. You can love someone regardless of what they do to you or take from you, but a relationship can't survive like that. 3.) I agree 100%. That's exactly what I would have said, but it was said first. As for my take of healing, I think that all depends on the person and the situation. I talk to my ex whenever I can. That's just the way I am. It took me 6 months to get over the breakup, but that really isn't that long if you really look at it. I disagree 100%. Take a look at my signature at the bottom of my post. If you ever stop loving, then that's a sign that you have yet to understand what love is because you are mistaking love for something else because love by its very nature never fails.

I see no reason for divorce, so thereforeeee I see no reason for a prenuptial. I personally don't think I could every marry anyone that would even consider a prenuptial since that tells me that they can rationalize divorce.

I've never met anyone that could be called shy that expected others to be all over them. It's simply that there frustration with there situation has biased there views. Everyone shy or not does the some thing. Everyone has a group of people that they discriminate agents because of there experience with just a few. …I guess that I've been talking more of the social anxiety disorder than just being shy. It's a little more than a simple hurtle for some people. What the hell, I've been dancing around this trying to not give out names, but no one around here knows who I am or who I'm talking about. I have a friend that hasn't talked to anyone outside of his family and me for 6 years. I only saw him once or twice a year so I didn't have any idea of what was going on until I talked to his sister about 6 months ago. I've got him talking to a group of my close friends, but outside of that his ineptitude in a social environment everyone else I try and get him to talk to forget that he's there. Not to mention that he's fidgeting like he's having a securer or something. Now me, being a guy, can't do for him what Misty did for me because of some obvious motivational issues. I can't get a hold of Misty to ask her what caused her to torture me the way she did, so I was hoping to come here and be able to find a "hook" that may be able to let me use what he already has to give him a little positive motivation like I had. Until now all his experiences have told him that people outside of these two small groups aren't worth the effort and reticule. I kind of got off of my target in trying to explain some of the mannerisms, but people in such situations are very seldom understood. Well, I hope saying that doesn't get me in trouble in the long run. I guess this hasn't gotten me much of anywhere, but it was worth a try.

I was posting my last post while you were posting yours, so I didn't have a chance to read it before. I guess hostile was the wrong choice of words. Disenchanted I guess was more of what I was looking to say. I agree that it isn't someone else's job to find the qualities in some. Maybe it's just that I've been in small town America, but that's a degree of apathy that I don't encounter very often. An apathetic mindset around here is to put up a façade of caring only when that person is around. To say that helping someone isn't your responsibility around here would almost be comparable with calling genocide population control. It's a bit of an exaggeration, but turning your back on someone is frowned upon. I guess I knew that larger populations are more apathetic, but I guess I just never rally realized the real implications of that

It sounds like he's already made up his mind to take a nother try if you ask me.

Well oceanEyes, it sounds like you may be a little hostile toward the shy people of the world. You do hear a lot of complaining from the shy guys, but it's not that they in any way expect you to "fix" there problem. They just expect not to catch crap for trying. It's somewhat of a vicious circle because they do realize that they are introverted and do try to do something about it, but there only reward for there effort is to be rejected and ridiculed for there social ineptitude, which makes them even more self-conscious and is quite counterproductive. When those are you experiences it's all but natural to become a bit hostile toward those who have treated you the worst, and that is many times generalized to all women. I'm not saying that it is your responsibility to help people develop there social skills, but I would suggest that you take a closer look at your actions and do your best to keep from making there situation worse. I do find it my responsibility to help those who are lacking in social skills since I have been there. That's kind of why I asked this question. I was forced out of my situation by some quite unique means. I'm trying to get the perspective from the women so I can be a better help for the people around me.

Now that puts some people in a bit of a bind scout. If you don't have the social skils to even keep up in a conversation then people won't talk to you, if people won't talk to you then you never get that practice. If you never get the practice then you never develop those social skils. I was in the boat a number of years ago until finally someone noticed and spent a week draging me around makeing her friends talk to me. Now that is nowhere near common place, so what are your sudjestions for those guys that can't keep up in a conversation?

Well, my ex was a friking mooch so I know that you can't pay for everything. The only other thing I have to compare it to is my friendship with one of my female friends, but we fight over who GETS to pay. We both want to be a blessing to the other, so when we have money we pay for the others meal. In that case its ether who ever has money that week, or we flip a coin. (I try and drop it and win so I can pay, but she does the same thing) Dating shouldn't be about what you can get from the other person. It should be about what you can give. Now if she isn't giving anything then you should get out because a one sided relationship will never work. I use the paying thing as a judge of her intentions and understanding of a relationship.

Ok ladies. Here's a question. For those of you how have dated the shy guys, how did he eventually catch you so to speak. Shy guys don't have the courage to make a bold move, so what was the more subtle thing that caught your attention?

It seem to be a role of life that anything you hide will come out at the most inopportune time. It's my opinion that in a truly successful relationship there are no secrets. I say you should tell him. You should have told him when it happened.