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Nifty_Swifty1

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Everything posted by Nifty_Swifty1

  1. Nifty_Swifty1
    Sounds like you aren't very old, but I could be mistaken. First dates can be just about any where. For me it's usually sitting in the park and talking all day, but I've only been on one... well, I guess I took a couple girls to school dances when I was in high school, and have take friends of mine to diner and movies, but there really wasn't anything romantic about those situations, it was just a way to spend time with my friends. Just do something fun Now as far as flirting, I'm sure you have done it at some time in you life, but just didn't have a name to put with it. It's just something that happens when you like a girl you're around. Flirting can be just about anything that is meant to softly appeal to someone's sexual side. It could even be just talking… I guess it a hard thing to explain. Now as for the kissing, it is usually better to just go for it. For some strange reason if you ask permission women seem to think that you aren't secure.
  2. Nifty_Swifty1
    Being honest is always the best way to go. It shouldn't scare the guy off.
  3. Nifty_Swifty1
    1. Some people are just competitive and have to win even if it's in who has it the worst. Pain is relative, and you can never compare your pain to someone else's. 2. I'm not going to say what I think on the matter because I would be getting hate mail for month. Instead I'll just say what a gay friend of mine thinks on the matter, and say that in general I agree with him. Marriage is not a basic human right like people are portraying it. It's a religious right that has some legal rights that come along with it. That being said, I believe it's the right of the religious groups, who are almost exclusively ageist gay marriage, to make that call. All that I ask is that I get the legal protections that marriage provides. 3. What makes me feel positive are my friends. I love those people more than anything else on earth. 4. There are more than 400 posts here on this sight that should give you a good idea of my view on the world. Have fun looking (though I know you probably won't).
  4. Nifty_Swifty1
    This is just from what I've seen, but what gets a girl's attention is that aggressive jack asses, but what keeps them around for the long term is exactly what you said switching things up. Being aggressive when the time is right, and being sweet when the time is right. Women complain about how horrible men are because they go after scum time after time because they appeal to their hormones. Women find themselves unsatisfied in marriage and longer relationships because these guys that appeal to their hormones don't appeal to who they actually are. It's the paradox of the female psyche.
  5. Nifty_Swifty1
    You're young babe. Your friends should be your first priority at the moment, but you should try and split your time up between the two. 5 years down the line some of those friends are likely to still keep in touch with you. The b/f probably won't be there any more. As for the depression, everyone goes through that at some point in there life. You just have to keep a stiff upper lip and keep moving. Things can't stay that bad. God bless
  6. Nifty_Swifty1
    A lie is a lie, and all you can do is to correct that lie. Go back and tell the WHOLE truth. If you lie that makes you a lire, and as long as that lie continues you remain a lire. You redeem yourself by going and saying that you were wrong to not speak the truth and ask for the guy's forgiveness. If it were me I would tell my guy too, but that's just because I'm the kind of guy that admires when someone will tell the truth even when it's the hardest thing to do. That's the fastest way for a woman to gain my trust, to confess the little things and take responsibility for her actions when she could have well gotten away with them simply by not saying anything. I guess I should warn that most guys aren't like me, so you should use your own judgment.
  7. Nifty_Swifty1
    … now let me get this striate… You have been going out with this girl when she already has a guy… that's kind of scummy if you ask me. You don't go after someone else's girl. Now I have a couple friends that I will take out, but we've been friends forever and they normally have their husbands with them. Your situation on the other hand obviously isn't completely platonic. She has to make her decision whether she is going to stay with this guy or not before you should be doing any of this, but I guess that's just the way I see thing. I think your next move should be to wait for her to make hers.
  8. Nifty_Swifty1
    ... the morning after pill is an abortion if you did get pregnant... It's just that you never have to know weather or not it really was or not. To tell you the troth, I would be more willing to bet that your not pregnant now than if you were to have sex using any contraception other than the pill. It's not a chance I would take again though.
  9. Nifty_Swifty1
    The chances of you getting pregnant from that are extremely low, though not 0, and ru486 can really mess you up. It's not fun from what I hear. I would chill if it were me, but It's not. Lets just put it this way. Condoms have a 15% failure rate at preventing pregnancy, so it's probably no more of a chance than you have taken any other time you have had sex.
  10. Nifty_Swifty1
    I can't say that I would do it that soon, but I have friends that have gotten engaged the day they met, and 20 years later are still happily married, so I guess any time would be appropriate.
  11. Nifty_Swifty1
    I would love to be able to give you a little advice, but I find myself in the same situation. Even down to the month you broke up. If it's naive for you to think of finding love at 17 then it must be just as naive to think of finding it at 21. If you find any answers make sure you pass them on, but alas I believe that these kind of things are for each person to find out on there own. Where you meet people all depends on who you are trying to find. Since you are trying to find something serious the normal places probably wont serve you well simply because that's where people go to play the dating game, and I'm guessing that the game is not what you're looking for.
  12. Nifty_Swifty1
    Not making a big deal out of the first month isn't a big deal. Some guys (including me) find it childish to make a fuss about something that is so… meaningless. I mean I could date the most shallow, self centered person in the world for a month and never know it (or even 10 months if you're as stupid as I was). There are parts of any guy that won't measure up to your ex, but there are parts that far surpass him. Everyone has different faults and triumphs. When people say that they have taken a break up badly, that means that they have ether raised that person up to a super human status in there mind, or were hurt by that persons actions after the breakup. Sounds like you're looking at your ex as the god of dating which isn't healthy. You have to remember there faults to keep them from overshadowing relationships in the future. Give this guy a chance. He may be busy at the moment. Just give him a little time.
  13. Nifty_Swifty1
    Going to a sight that most people join to help them deal with breakups dosn't really sound like sound reasioning if one of your requirements is to find people in a relationship. I do realize that there are a good number of people here that are in relationships, but I just had to point that out to be a butt about something. Hope you find what you're looking for. It jsut isn't me.
  14. Nifty_Swifty1
    You want to let her know that you're interested? Simple answer, but it's a little scary. Ask her out somewhere, Coffee, lunch, bowling, anything. Just do something casual. Since you don't want us to tell you to be your self, I wont. Instead, I'll tell you that you should show up in a zoot soot and pretend to be a swing band leader… If you couldn't tell that was somewhat of a joke, but as long as she knows it a joke there is no harm in that, It would be funny.
  15. Nifty_Swifty1
    First off, don't be slim and go after someone else's girl… That's not to say there isn't anything you can do. Sounds like you're friends, so give her a heads up on her guy's actions. That should get things broken up rather quickly. After they're no longer together, then you go after the girl. Now don't get me wrong here, I'm not saying that it's OK to go and break up a couple to get the girl, but it wouldn't be right to let her keep on going the way she is when you know what's going on behind the seines. That wouldn't be fair to her, and I would hope you would do the same thing regardless of whether or not you wanted the girl. The fact that you are after this girl is just a bonus for you. Don't make it a habit though.
  16. Nifty_Swifty1
    You already said what your number one problem is. First off I'm going to tell you what not to say. Telling her how pretty her face is is a bad idea. I'll explain that in a second. Now for what you should say. Telling her how pretty she is is a good ideal. You might not have seen the differences in the two things I just said, so I'll point it out. It's the word face. If you tell her how pretty her face is, your bringing attention to that part of her that she's having trouble with. The best thing you can do is nothing at all. Let her go through her vain, poutey stage and then get on with life. That's just a part of women you have to learn to put up with. There is nothing we can do about that. excep learn how to make them forget about it.
  17. Nifty_Swifty1
    I always say that if you can't take an unbiased view of yourself, let someone else. You very seldom see the problems with your actions because most people never look at what they do with an analytical eye. Most people only act and react. Any time someone comes at me with my shortcomings I view it as a blessing because it makes me a better person as long as I don't make excuses for my actions. As far as you thing with complaining about her involvement in her career, you might have a valid argument in the fact that she is or was taking on too much, but obviously there were problems in the way you handled it, not to mention, that some people are just wired that way and you have to except them for who they are. Take what the girl said and use it to better yourself. When people go after someone like that there are two driving forces. One is that they're frustrated, and the other is that they are concerned with you becoming the best person you can be. No, it's not the best way to go about things, but if it got your attention, then it worked didn't it. I'm impressed that you didn't become defensive and begin making excuses like some people mumble mumble my ex mumble mumble. Just take it as a learning experience.
  18. Nifty_Swifty1
    You sound way to much like me for words. The only difference is that I know my ex is a selfish little… lets just move on… I know exactly where you are, but sadly, I can offer very little advice on how to move yourself out of that. I've been trying to years, and haven't made it very far. All I can say is that you need to force yourself into those social situations you feel so very uncomfortable in. My problem is that area is that once I make myself get in there and try, I turn into an imbecile that can't even speak in complete sentences. Over the last couple years I have ended up making a couple friends, though not in any way that has helped me out very much. They have all been via the net since things here can happen a little slower and I can keep up. That really doesn't help with the longing for human contact. The only way to get out of your dilemma that you find yourself in is to force yourself to move, and I have never found an easy way to do that. Change comes slowly, and requires a lot of work. Hopefully someday both of us will find our way out of this. God Bless
  19. Nifty_Swifty1
    Trust is a hard thing. it's something completely unnatrual. What it comes down to is a choice. Noone can ever "prove" themselvs trustworthy becouse you never see what goes on when you are not there. You simply have to decide that you believe that person cares enough about you to aviod doing something you would disaprove of. That is after all what love is. It's putting someone else before yourself. Thats the deep part of life. If you only are concerned with you and yourslef life is so very shalow. If you find someone that will put you above all else you are truley blessed. That is something you only seem to find once in a lifetime. If you don't believe that person would put you first and formost... Well, that wouldn't be a place I would wan't to put myself. God Bless
  20. Nifty_Swifty1
    I can't say much more than mahlina did. She said everything I was thinking. Just remember that some people, no mater how much you like them, just need to be avoided. Sounds like this girl is one of those.
  21. Nifty_Swifty1
    I just ended up telling my friend that I would take her husband out to lunch… PROBLEM!! First off I have never even met the guy (It would make things easer if I were first going to meet him when she was around instead of him just calling me after he gets off of work so I can take him out to eat before he starts his 2 hour commute back home). Second, I know way too much about the guy already. I know he use to be a drug dealer, and still sees no problem with that, I know he's a drunk that all but neglects his wife. I know the horrible things he has said to her. I guess my problem is that I don't even know how to deal with having to spend time with someone that I despise his actions toward one of the people I value most. This is a man that I would rather spit on than talk to, but I can't let myself do that. I have to show this man the same love I would his wife. Any advice on how appear civil to someone you despise?
  22. Nifty_Swifty1
    I know you probably don't like hearing from me, but when I have things to say here I normally say them (unless its something I could get in trouble for... I have done that on occasion, but when your passionate about what you believe in it is sometimes hard to make it look like you aren't forcing you beliefs on someone). You just need to chill. The guy told you what he thinks, and you need to leave it at that unless he changes his mind. If he does, then he'll be the one coming after you. Unless that happens you need to be looking somewhere else. Obsession is nothing more than lust, longing is the result of covenant, and action is the result of love. Of the three you seem to be in the first from what I've seen. But I don't know anything now do I?
  23. Nifty_Swifty1
    The statement that nice guys finish last is right on the money no mater how bad it is. There are exception, but the seem to be one in a couple billion. I've never met one myself, but I'm just assuming that there has to be a couple out there. Women aren't attracted to guys that don't show at least some signs that he's a butt. The only women I've seen that go after the nice guys are the ones that are already married. Now what good does that do us now? Unless you're someone that wants to get in the middle of someone's marriage and that wouldn't make you a very nice guy now would it?
  24. Nifty_Swifty1
    I normally have a lot of good things to say (at least I think so), but today I keep starting to reply to posts and it keeps being the worst advice I could ever think of so I don't post anything. I've never felt so bad that I couldn't still be productive. I've had bad times like everyone else, but why does it only really get to me this time. I can't seem to make myself do anything but sit here. I guess none of you are going to be able to say anything constructive since I don't really know what the problem is… I guess you could read my last post link removed and that would give you a bit of an understanding, but I can't figure out what to do. I guess I'm just not making any since. Sorry.
  25. Nifty_Swifty1
    same as before
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