Nifty_Swifty1

Fighting is normal until it becomes an issue in and of itself. If it is simply an escalating of other issues then there is noting to worry about as long as those issues that are causing the arguments are being resolved (no mater how slowly). On the other hand if nothing is ever on its way to a resolution, then there is a problem. Any relationship is about compromises, and if arguments are never being resolved, then one or both of you are not being willing to compromise in which case whoever it is really has no business being in a relationship to begin with. You have to grow up and realize that you have to bend at time (that not necessarily being aimed at you). But Like sphinx said, "Fighting is normal in any relationship."

well, you make it sound like he has no reasion for his actions, but most of us know that is seldom the case. What is it that you did or said? We might be able to give you a little more help if we knew that.

Well, I normaly say something along the lines of Can I have your number. Ther that, or I play of of something they say. Store cleark: "can I get something for you" Me: "your number would be great" A little cheezy, but its fun to watch then squerm. I guess its a little uncomfortable to have someone ask for your number while your working.

The same thing happens if a girl does that to a guy, but if you really want to drive the knife in you need to expect the other to help you get the guy you left them for, but still refuse to admit that is what caused you to leave even though you were obsessing over the guy before the break up. Now that's cruel.

DON'T QUIT SCHOOL!!! That is never a good idea. Your are going to have to tell people at some point. I'm sure it's scary to have to tell people that care about you, but it's the best thing to do. Better than running away anyway. Just stick it out girl. I think you know what you need to do, but it's just scarry right? Even if it's hard you have to do what you know is right.

Welcome to enotalone. Hope you find what you're looking for. Well, what kinds of things are you doing? Can't really help you until we know what's going on. Also, are you dating? That can have an effect on things too. Using me as an example, if a girl I'm not dating tries to appeal to my sexual side, I really moves my attention away form her (my thinking is that if that is all she has to offer, then I can find something much better and meaningful). I know I'm not exactly normal in that regard, but it's a possibility. Give us a little more info, and we would be able to give a little better advice.

You invested something in your relationship, and she didn't. Its as simple as that. She can just walk away becouse she really isn't loosing anything. The only reasion you are so confused is becouse you are just like me. You can't see how anyone could go so long and never invest anything. I still don't understand how that could happen, but I have realised that it did and the only thing that you can do is realize that it's the shalowness of the girl that is to blame and your better off now that you have seen that.

Don't skip just becouse of your ex. Now I would probably be a little erked if I were your ex. I've been around long enough to know that when a woman says that she dosn't wan't to be in a relation ship that they are trying to get me to think that they don't want to be in a relationship at all, but are really just trying to find a cheep excuse. Seems like you don't think your ex has that figured out yet. He is going to learn it sooner or later, so you might as well bust his chops now. I don't see anyone doing much but sulking unless they get drunk (pay the bartender to water down his drinks to improve your chances of getting out without insodent ). Its never a good plan to run from things. You aren't going to like me saying this, but that has never stoped me from saying anything before. You lied to the guy by saying that you don't wan't to be in a relationship and are just saying that you ment that you didn't want to be in a relationship with him as an excuse. You need to face up to any lie you ever tell.

Well... you said that you give people a second chance, but you don't know if you should believe him... That isn't a second chance. You also said that you werent woried about him going back to this girl... if thats the case, then why are you here asking if you should trust the guy? If you weren't woried you wouldn't be asking us, you would be waving your finger in your guys face for lying to you and threatening to kill him if he ever did it again (a bit of an exadgeration, but you get my point). You ether rust your guy, or you don't. You have to deside if you are or not. We can't tell you that. I would give him a nother chance if it were me. If he was with his sister then I don't think you have anything more than a juvinial fib and you should treat it as such. Now if he pulls this kind of thing more than once in a blue moon then you have a problem, but everyone I know would tell a little fib if it would avoid a needless argument that they thought was comeing.

If you think he's a player RUN!!!! That isn't anything you need to be in the midle of. There are plenty of other guys out there, go and find one that wants you. thats just my two cents though, so do what ever you want.

Well, you atleast need to warn the new guy that your ex is going to be there. It's going to be uncomfortable no mater what you do, so you should probably just let it slide and hope your ex dosn't get drunk and make a seen or anything. It's your choice how you deal with this, so you have to deside what is giong to work best for you. Just tell your new bf so he dosn't end up on the spot or anything.

The more you talk about this girl, the more I realize that you have gone through the same thing I have gone through. You have to be able to admit that you were duped into going after a girl that wasn't in it for you. She may have said some nice things and what not, but it was all just part of the game. Do as little as she had to keep you around, and if that wasn't enough, then who cares is what that game is called. I have a feeling that I know your thoughts on this subject very well. The only reason you dismiss the though that you got took is because it's hard for you to admit that you didn't see this coming. I would guess that you are probably a guy that can read people fairly well, and being blind to this kind of hurts you ego. That's what I was going through anyway, but now I'm more than able to admit that I let myself be careless. Maybe I'm way off though. It's been known to happen.

Welcome to Enotalone. I hope you find the advice that you're looking for. I'm from here in the states, so all I can say about getting a visa is what I have heard from my friends. There are 2 easy ways to get visas, which are to be married, or get a student visa. Since you're in school in England, and apparently not wanting to finish here it seams that you're going to have to go about it the hard way and try for a work visa. I don't really know all that entails, but I have a Canadian friend that really hates it when her visa is up and has to apply for an extension. She went home one time and had a hard time getting back, but it only took her a couple days to get things straitened out. She knows her way around the system though since she's been doing it for 15 years. I have no ideas how things would work if she were to come to you, but I do know that even if one of us hates where we live it is usually like pulling teeth to get us to leave the states. My cousin married a girl form the Netherlands, and she still hasn't been able to get him to spend more than a summer outside the states. If you're willing and able to get over here I think that would be the easiest, but I would suggest that you at least try and get her to England instead. Well, hope you got something out of that God bless

Sounds like you have yourself a classey guy. He probably dosn't care that you didn't kiss him. If he really cared that much he would have tried to kiss you. He may have just had somewhere he had to go. I've been running all over the place today becous I just simply have a lot to do. I've probably walked out on a lot of my friends that wanted to talk to me today, but I'm just rushed today. He may have something similar. Go and talk to the guy. Try and get a second date. Just have fun. God belss

Welcome to enotalone. Hope you find what you're looking for. There are great people around here even if you don't think that I'm one of them. Not to offend you if I'm wrong, but it sounds like you're about 16. Am I right? If I am, then you have to try and remember that dating at this point is nothing more than teenaged politics. Not to say that how someone acts in a relationship is of no consequence (this is where you learn and show what kind of person you are going to be in your life). What I am saying is that about 99% of relationships are of no consequence in and of themselves at this point. It seems that you know this, but you are putting more weight into his relationship than it seems that he is. He might not cheat on his girl, but sounds like you wouldn't be too far off if you were to say that he would leave who he's with for someone else. If he does break up with his girl and you get together, then yeah for you, but don't go after the guy. You don't want to be someone that will go after and try and "steel" someone else's man. A friendship is the most valuable thing you can have with someone at this point because those are more likely to last forever. No I've said all that assuming that you're about 16. If you're 18 or older I have some different advice. You both seem to be acting a little immature so grow up a bit. Even if that is the case you seem to have a better Handel on things than most people that I know, so you really don't have to worry about it much. Have fun in life and God bless

The guy just doesn't want to be left with out anyone so he's keeping you on the back burner so to speak. If it were me, I wouldn't wait around. I ether want to be first in my girls life or not at all. Second place isn't expectable. Waiting for someone to finish with someone else before they get to me just seems a little degrading. If it were me I wouldn't let him come back, but in the end it's up to you. Just seems to me that his actions have shown how much he really values you.

Sounds a lot like something I've gone through myself. Turns out I was just a convince and once I was no longer convent for her, it was over. The problem was that she was too chicken to break up with me, so she decided to make me break up with her. I'm not going to say what she did, but in the end she got what she wanted, and I found myself right where you are now. If it is like my experience, you are just going to have to realize that the 4 years really was nothing, and she never truly loved you. You were just a toy for her to play with and once she didn't want you any more, she just stopped playing with you and hoped that you would go away. Now I'm just speaking from my own experiences. You didn't really give enough information to really find out what she was thinking, so I just told a little about what I've been through in a similar situation.

I have a friend going through the same thing right now, but she found out that she's pregnant. Could that be a possibility? If not, then I really don't know what to say. Is she feeling sick in any other way?

I hope everything works out. Hope the guy gets things worked out in his own head. God bless

My opinion on marriage is that its not something you can just leave to get things straitened out. You have to work things out together. If he need help and motivation, you have to help be that for him. Make him go out and look for a job. Find someone that can help you get things worked out. If you have to find counseling, then go and find it. Sometimes there are things you can’t afford not to do. Your commitment has to be to your marriage. You can’t just let him lay around all day. You have to find something to get him to change.

You dream every night weather you remember it or not. What controls weather you remember it or is weather or not you wake up in the middle of it or not. Do you wake up at the same time every day? I did that for a long time, and I never seemed to dream. Once I had to start waking up at different times I started to wake up in the middle of my dreams and was able to remember them again. It’s all about sleeping patterns. If that doesn’t work, I don’t know what to tell you.

I know it's hard, but you just have to chill and let things happen. It's like playing chess. If you move before considering the entire board, then it won't be long before you move into a trap. Sorry for the analogy, but I'm gong to stick with it for a moment. There is a check mate in 5 moves, but you only get that if she lets you. Most games last for many more than 100 moves. Her saying she's confused tells me that the mate in 5 is out, and you're going to have to go at this slowly. Just meat up and have a good time. Make sure she knows that you love her, but don't stick on it for more that a second or two. Just keep playing and hope you both come out the winner. I know that was cheezy, but I have to be that way at times.

You're in a tuff spot. It seems that the guy doesn't want to leave this as just any other friendship. You might need to make sure that he knows that almost dating isn't going to work. I'll dance with my friends and if I go where they work I'll make sure that there the ones that get my business, but I won't go too far out of my way. It looks like your guy is trying to have himself a girlfriend without any of the commitment. He ether gets a girlfriend or just any other friend. It isn't fare to you that he be trying and get a bit of both. You might need to step in an d tell him to back off.

That's true unless you live in the 50's like I do. Where second is over the clothes and third is under. Oral sex is still considered sex. I guess I'm just behind the times and proud of it. It's great to be a little old fashioned. I still ask parents perdition to date there daughters before I'll go out with anyone. It makes it a little hard to find a date, but it's the way I do things.

Well, to tell you the troth it really doesn't matter what you want to be, Just take classes that are anywhere where you might like something. If nothing else major in business administration. That will help you with just about any career you want to go into. You can build your career as you go and find things you like to do. At some point things will just click and you'll stay there. Or you can end up like my dad and spend your whole life jumping jobs and being happy in that.