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tspoon

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  1. tspoon
    The new guy knows I was dating someone, he has never met him and doesn't know any details, just knows he was a friend of a mutual friend. He is adult enough that if I say, "the guy I was dating right before I got together with you will be at the wedding" he will not be bothered by it. Unfortunately, I have a feeling the ex bf will take issue with me because one of the reasons we broke up is I said, "I don't want to be in a relationship" meaning, with HIM, and also, because he will feel sleighted as the girl getting married is a mutual friend of his and mine and not the new boyfriends'. And although I was invited to invite a guest to the ceremony, the ex bf was only invited to the reception (they have only twenty close friends/family at the ceremony - me included - ex excluded.) He will feel like it was unfair I could go and bring a guest and he wasn't even invited? and I know the only reason the bride did it that way is because I am a bridesmaid - she probably would have invited him to the ceremony if I wasn't bringing my new bf as a guest. Anyhow, the reception afterwards starts at seven and I am thinking of just bolting beforehand! HELP! How do I tell the ex bf I am seeing someone new???
  2. tspoon
    Okay. My old boyfriend and I are on friendly terms, but he does not know I am dating someone new. Frankly, I didn't tell him because he hasn't asked, and I didn't want to hurt his feelings. Now, I am going to a wedding with the new bf and the old bf is going to be there. Should I warn the one about the other? HOW? Is it okay to do this via email?
  3. tspoon
    when a breakup happens, and then one or the other party holds on and hopes that the other person still loves them. It is often a combination of the person missing the familliar, even if they were the ones to break up. It starts with "trying to be nice" and continues as the inability to let go. After all, our ego is stroked when we know someone is thinking of us. The best thing to do in this scenario is to be the one to take control and make the final break. It will make you feel better, because you will have time to grieve. And regardless of whether or not she is happy, that's up to her to deal with, not you. You need to be happy for you... so you can move on and meet someone else - someone who will appreciate a guy like you. Take care and best wishes. tspoon
  4. tspoon
    He sounds like a player to me. It's unfortunate. A mature man doesn't have relationship anxiety attacks. He's clearly not ready for the kind of relationship you want.
  5. tspoon
    p.s. thank you especially to the men who responded. Gives a whole different perspective! I feel like I'm a whiner when I bring this up with him... all he can do is go, "Yeah, I know, sucks, huh?" Makes me want to throttle him! But he is a good man and worth keeping. What if I just agreed with him and said, "Yeah, you're definitely lacking in the committment department. Yes, it definitely does suck." ?
  6. tspoon
    I haven't read the book, but will check it out. Maybe I should just S.I.U. and be happy with what I have?
  7. tspoon
    He says he doesn't know what's wrong with him, just that he doesn't have that gene that supposedly everybody else has to settle down. He's not seeing anyone else. Like I said, he's a hermit. And he cares for me and shows it. But you know what it is - it's like I'm not capable of letting go of this idea of us getting married and having a family together. It's what I want - and although all of the "experts" say I should lay off and hang back and wait and see what happens - or leave him - I can't do either. I tried that when we broke up - we broke up because of his inabilty to go that one step further - but I found "out there" in the world I was really unhappy without him - and he was contacting me telling me he wanted me to come back. I thought that if I went back, things would be different. But, they aren't. It's very frustrating.
  8. tspoon
    I've been with "T" for - ready for this? - FIVE years. We had a breakup for awhile, and I recently came back to him. He says he loves me, says I'm a part of his life, says he wants me. He is a hermit and really doesn't have any social life outside of me & him. He is intelligent, sexy, handy, healthy, all the things I want in a guy. He says I am everything he wants in a woman. We've had the talk time and again, most recently this weekend, and he always says, "I don't know what's wrong with me - why I can't give you what you need." I am a single mom, and really would like to know either way. I mean, if he can't do it (marriage) HOW do I let go?
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