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Akatea

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Everything posted by Akatea

  1. Akatea
    Unfortuantely hun, you are experiencing what most couples do. I have been with my BF for three years now, and we were exactly the same. Bunny rabbits, then once or twice a week, we broke up and it went back to the bunnies again. Now its back to once or twice a week. HOWEVER, this is perfectly normal. Unless you are feeling that you are no longer interested in her as a partner, best friend, lover, etc Not just on a sexual base. I heard on the radio today that a new study has come out on couples in my country (New Zealand) Only 6% of couples have sex everyday. And something like 56% of couples have sex once or twice a week. the other 38% have sex up to four times a week, so by those statistics, you can see that your situation is NOT that uncommon. Unless there are other reasons for you doubting your relationship, then you are fine sweet.
  2. Akatea
    It is absolutely TRUE. There are reasons for it, that I can't really explain. But the saying is SO SO SO TRUE!! Just be weary. Don't give completely of yourself back to her unless you YOURSELF know they are for the right reasons
  3. Akatea
    Just send the check back to the sender. And let them know that you no longer have any contact with this person and that they need to change their records accordingly. He might be being such an a hole because he IS missing you, but is too up himslef to let it show. If I was in your position, I wouldn't give him the oppurtunity to show me. Move hun, you are WAY WAY WAY better than that jerk off...
  4. Akatea
  5. Akatea
    Not at all huny buny! Thought it might make a couple of people feel better knowing " THEY ARE NOT ALONE"
  6. Akatea
    I get that feeling when my BF goes away. We pretty much live together and when he goes away, even if its for like one night. I miss him terribly, and do often cry.
  7. Akatea
    Hey Everyone, I would be the chick Eva is referring to as the one who went to the cops. As it turns out, I was number SEVEN in a series of rapes by this one guy. The only reason any of the other girls came forward was because I stepped up to the mark first. I am not trying to make myslef sound like a hero, because I am certainly not, but I think that in this instance the other girls were afraid of the consequences of making it all REAL. It was a very hard thing to go through as I am sure every girl here can sympathise with. When you see it in writing of what happedned to you (Like in my statement and in the court orders) it really does make it hit home. All I can say to everyone on here is that it doesn't matter what the circumstances were or who did it to you, you have rights ladies and don't ever let anyone tell you differently. Even if you are hooking up with your BF and it goes further than you want it too, you CAN say no. You are all WONDERFUL people and deserve the best things! Keep strong and if anyone wants to PM me, feel free!!! XXX
  8. Akatea
    They do realise what they are doing, but most of the time, they JUST DONT CARE. Or the girl was "ASKING FOR IT" (I put this comment in asterix's cause obviously it isn't true) Denial is the biggest thing I had to deal with. A case of just putting it as far down as you possibly can. But speaking form experience, this only makes other aspects of your life completely stuff up. Unfortunately, these experiences do effect our day to day living, no matter how much we try to deny it to ourselves and to others...
  9. Akatea
    Sometimes it is, but I speak from experience that sometimes giving someone a taste of their own medicine just aggrevates that person, and, if it is in their personality to retaliate, then they probably will. Sometimes it is best to just be the bigger person and accept that they just don't get it...
  10. Akatea
    I used to have the same feelings about my BF and his ex. But we have been together for three years now, and I CERTAINLY wouldn't change a thing. Sometimes feelings take time to not feel anymore. The thing was that I knew what I was getting myself into when he and I started dating. He had only been out of his four year relationship for about six months, so the feelings were still there and still raw. It takes time hun...
  11. Akatea
    Hun, I am so sorry you are going through this. But if your friends are telling you that you are better off without her. Then they are probably right The best advice I can give you at this point in time is to start working on yourself. Take some time out for YOU. Get a hobby, go to the gym, anything that you can just completely throw yourslef into. When my BF and I split, I found the best thing to do was to allow yourself a period of time to grieve. Get upset, cry, sob your heart out, mope around and just be sad. But allow this time to be no longer than say a week. Then you have to wake up and say to yourself "OK, Ive grieved enough over this girl, time to move on" and then DO IT I am so sorry this has happened to you, it does suck, you're absolutely right. But good luck, feel free to PM me! You will get through this, and you'll be a strgoner person because of it
  12. Akatea
    It doesn't necessarily mean your relationship is doomed hun, My Bf is looking at going into the Terrortorial Force here in NZ. I know that this is something he has always wanted to do. At first my reaction was much the same, but then I thought about it a bit differently. It is something that he will regret NOT doing when we are old and grey and sitting in rocking chairs. It is something that he will be able to tell our grandkids, and kids of course, but it would be such a shame to hinder something your Gf obviously really wants to do... I know you'll miss her and believe me I will definitely miss my boy, but think of the converstaions you will be able to have
  13. Akatea
    Take it from someone who was cheated on in the beginning of her relationship too. You can get the trust back, but it a LONG LONG LONG time. In the first week of our relationship my BF cheated on me. We have now been together for three years. And only now do I completely trust him again. Even after saying that, I still have ghosts and the insercurity issues still raise their UGLY heads every now and again. But it takes two. He has to be understanding of your issues. My BF now makes an effort that when he is going into a situation where I may be nervous about, he makes sure that he makes every effort that I feel good about it. He knows he stuffed up and has for the last two years trying VERY hard to put it right. Just know that trust can be earned back, but it takes two people
  14. Akatea
    I agree with RayKay. I was with my first love for four years (My first and longest relationship ever) and it did take time. But now I have been with my current BF for nearly three years and even though I still have a soft spot for my first love, I no longer have the strong feelings for him.
  15. Akatea
    Just don't mention the ex, when you talk about this FANTASTIC place you are taking her. Wha she doesn't know won't hurt her, or create any issues where there isn't any.
  16. Akatea
    Oh, Hun, I am so sorry you are feeling like this. But please take my advice and definitely go into NC from now on. I made the mistake of still talking (and sleeping) with my ex for about two years after we broke up, and it was the worst thing I could've done. I didn't get over him until I started dating my current BF. Two years is such a waste of hurting myself! Today I can speak to my ex about HIS new GF's and it doesn't hurt a bit, but this is obviously because I have moved on with my feelings... and now love someone else
  17. Akatea
    Thanks for the adivce DN, Sometimes I have an over reactive imagination and things are sometimes more of a big deal in my head, than they actually are in real life. Its hard because I want to be honest and open with him, but as you say, sometimes go looking for trouble and trouble is exactly what you will find.
  18. Akatea
    This guy is really only my second "serious" relationship. My first love broke up with me about five years ago, and I didn't handle it very well, as we continued to see and sleep with each other right up until I started dating my current BF. Could this be the reason for my feelings?
  19. Akatea
    Hey Guys, I am just curious if anyone else ever feels this way. I have been with my guy for three years now. We have had more than our fair share of problems. For the last six months things have been perfect and I wouldn't change anything, but lately I have been having this horrible feeling that he doesn't love me anymore. I can't even put my finger on why I feel this way, as he hasn't done anything wrong. Nothing has changed except my feelings. I love this guy to bits and would walk to the ends of the earth for him, but can't shake the feeling that my feelings are stronger than his... Is this just my insecurities getting the better of me? I don't have the greatest self esteem in the world, but its better than what it used to be. Should I talk to him about my feelings? Or would that just be creating issues where there aren't really any? Any feedback would be much appreciated... :sad:
  20. Akatea
    I am slowly coming to terms with my BF not being as sexually needy as I am. Breakfast lunch and Dinner for me, with him happy with maybe once or twice a week. At first it upset me heaps, cause I thought it was me, but as it turns out, it was a result of some medication he had been taking for bi polar. Even now he is off the meds, the sex drive has not improved, but he is a much happier person now, and just for that reason, I can accept his lower sex drive. Hey, what are toys for anyway!
  21. Akatea
    You can get through this. It just takes TIME. And unfortunately for all of us there are no shortcuts... Believe me. My BF and I are in our third year of our relationship and after all the dramas we have been through, it has mostly been time that heals the wounds. And a love for each other...
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