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  1. The dumper also goes throught this I am strong period, aka the honeymoon I am free stage, but then the questions about the ex start: its only natural, especially if the dumpee has cut off all contact. The dumpee I think gets the better deal-sure you feel that you are going through a fog of pain, your heart is broken and needs to be mended but then sunshine appears and you realize that you are all right you made it through- if the dumpee allows inner peace and growth only attained through self-reflection for healing- which has to be done as they are hurting- I think the dumpee is the one that is better prepared to live their life and also to embark in a new realtionship with a new view. I have never grown as a dumper as much as I have as a dumpee.
  2. From what I have seen you are very good looking so maybe you are attracting women like yourself physically but not mentally... Maybe it is all about looking inside then and what it is that you want as oppsed to what you desire. The flip coin is you might be attracting women to you that fit yor mold of "idealnes" but not reality. Sometimes we find what we are looking for when we stop searching..
  3. sometimes its maybe 'cuz you push them so much that they just get nasty..
  4. yes, same thing happened to me. When that happens you at least realize you don't want them anymore-still miss the one you knew but not this person.
  5. Sam, You will get through it you will!! I know this sounds cliche, but things happen for a reason, something better will come out of it. Hang in there!
  6. Hi Tommy You are doing the right things. The trip to Australia will also really help, and planning for it etc will keep you distacted. Hang in there-we all have moments when we feel all alone, the trick is to get through them, and by posting here you don't feel that alone anymore!
  7. Thanks! I understand about just taking a break by doing no contact and healing yourself. My question was what to people do to heal and to deal? Do you see a therapist (do they tell you good advice you can share?) do you go out all the time? does that help in the long run? I guess I am looking for strategies for dealing.
  8. omg-I am having the same dilemma!! I think you just have to let them go in all respects and not call them unless they make a concentated effort to call you.
  9. I guess my question is how does everyone deal? Today is day 29th of no contact for me but I seem to be having a bad time. My question is what is everyone doing to heal? I have turned to Eastern philosophy, and to alcohol ha ha just kidding. The days do not drag anymore & I do not feel that connected w/ him but it saddens me and angers me too. So..how did people cope w/ the grief and feeling of betrayal? And" youjust do" doesn't help.
  10. So where is the mattress? If its w/ him and he doesn't want to pay up chalk it up to a lesson learned-what comes around goes around...
  11. thanks for an amazing post-it is good to know there are people like you out there, and I mean w/ everything that you are doing. Best of luck to you and if she does not come back, you seem to be too great of a person to not have someone realize what a gem you are.
  12. I think as a dumper I just "dropped" them b/c they all did enough nasty things to make me not want to be w/ them (alcoholism, inmaturity, abuse) . I think as a dumpee I have am learning so so much more really looking inside myself. It sucks b/c we broke up really over where we were in our lives, not any major conflicts or even compatability. IMO, th dumpee is the one that is handed that oppurtunity to change and move all their bad energy.
  13. yes, what I was trying to get at is I guess- where are you and where have you been? Break ups they are hard.. we search for personal answers, anything really to rationalize the pain. And then comes the moment, when we get that flash of independence again .We go on then, we start to march to our own drummer..but who is left behind? hope its not too deep.
  14. hey you better pm me about Pans Labyrinth...but seriuosly, this is not about pain, but about you - where are you??!!besides the I am in pain crap, what about you? you! lessons
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