aymee_lee

Ah...I'm with friend number 2. Sure, there's a bit of a novelty, but it is harder to get it in as there's water all over the shop and it's...in the way Not sure about the condom thing, but it might affect it. And I definitely don't think it's hotter than normal sex, although it's always fun to 'tick something off the list' he he.

Thanks for keeping us updated! I always look out for your posts and look forward to reading how you're going. I was telling a friend of mine about this site the other day and I was talking about you and how you're pregnant and how even though we don't know you, so many of us are always eagerly reading your posts (as you can see from your viewings!) I think you are going to be a fantastic mum and can't wait to see some pictures of little Ian! Congratulations too on all your savings- that's excellent. Babies can be very expensive! Good luck for the next 7 weeks

Everyone will have their own opinions on this one! Condoms are the only way to protect you from STI's. But this is obviously not going to be a problem for you. However, to be as safe as you can be, you should always use a condom as well as the pill. That being said, when I was in your situation, the pill was my only form of contraception. But this is just me, and some people will say that's not enough. You have to make your own mind up. And be prepared for the consequences of your decisions! Good luck, be safe, have fun

I agree with Yvonne. I used to be exactly like your gf. I would get so close and then...nothing. But as I got older things changed. It's like I wasn't so uptight about the whole deal (It's amazing sometimes how you think you know how you feel and later on you realise it wasn't quite like that at all!) And now that I'm older it's not a problem at all. I'm not saying I have a 100% strike rate (if only!) but it's definitely not an issue. I'm sure things will get better with time. Just enjoy it

Syrix said Now about your friend: 1,. First she's insecure. That can be draining because you can't have fun while she's constantly being uptight and not relaxed because of her insecurtiy. 2. the reason she hasn't get over her ex is because she did broke up with him but : still doesn't know if this was the right decision is insecure and has no idea can she get another bf she feals gulilty because she cheated on him. This is absolutely spot on! She has this silly idea that she's never going to get another bf and says things like 'maybe (ex bf) was the best I could ever do, and even though I wasn't happy with him maybe I should've stayed rather than be alone forever.' And she definitely feels guilty about the cheating too. A few of you mentioned that her attitide might affect my chances of meeting guys which is probably true but as I said in my original post, she works with my bf. I have a BF! and she is still whining that 'guys like you better than me' when it makes little difference as I'm obviously not interested. Anyway, besides all that, I just wanted to say that I am really grateful for the advice. You have all made me feel a lot better about the situation as I was feeling really guilty about my feelings. At this stage I'll probably see how things go in the near future but if they remain the same I'm going to have to say something. More for her benifit than mine really. She's a good person, I just don't think she's showing her best side at the moment! Cheers, Amy xoxo

Now about your friend: 1,. First she's insecure. That can be draining because you can't have fun while she's constantly being uptight and not relaxed because of her insecurtiy. 2. the reason she hasn't get over her ex is because she did broke up with him but : still doesn't know if this was the right decision is insecure and has no idea can she get another bf she feals gulilty because she cheated on him. This is absolutely spot on! She has this silly idea that she's never going to get another bf and says things like 'maybe (ex bf) was the best I could ever do, and even though I wasn't happy with him maybe I should've stayed rather than be alone forever.' And she definetley feels guilty about the cheating too. A few of you mentioned that her attitide might affect my chances of meeting guys which is probably true but as I said in my original post, she works with my bf. I have a BF! and she is still whining that 'guys like you better than me' when it makes little difference as I'm obviously not interested. Anyway, besides all that, I just wanted to say that I am really grateful for the advice. You have all made me feel a lot better about the situation as I was feeling really guilty about my feelings. At this stage I'll probably see how things go in the near future but if they remain the same I'm going to have to say something. More for her benifit than mine really. She's a good person, I just don't think she's showing her best side at the moment! Cheers, Amy xoxo

Ok, I'm just looking for some opinions on this one, let me know what you think! My issue regards one of my friends. We have been friends since Year 8 (10 years). We were close in high school, but she wasn't my best friend if you know what I mean. We have been in contact every now and then since high school finished (6 years ago) but over the last 6 months or so we have again become quite close. This is a result of having a mutual friend (also from high school) who we both hung out with so we became good friends through that. Now, that friend has moved so we are even closer. She also works with my bf so we are always at their work functions together. Let me say I love this girl, she is great, but at times she can get a bit dramatic. I don't really know how else to describe it except to say that when something happens that I think is kinda minor, she can get upset about it, crying etc. For example, if a guy she likes doens't call her or, or something, she then spends our whole night out analysing it and saying she's not good enough etc. She also always says stuff like 'You're so much prettier than me, guys always like you' etc (When really I think guys just like the fact that I'll have a nice chat to them without anything awkward being said; see below). This can be really draining, as I am a farily upbeat sort of person, and try not to sweat the small stuff, but I try to support her as best I can because I believe that even though something might seem minor to you, it can be very important to another person. She was dating a guy in high school and they stayed together for 6 years. She always said she was 'never 100% sure' if he was the one (even after all that time!) however, when he proposed after 6 years she said yes. A week after the engagement party, she slept with someone else. She also slept with someone lese while they were on a 'break' (hello, Ross and Rachel I don't judge her, she's my friend and she knows she made some mistakes. They obviously ended up breaking up, which believe me, I know is hard, regardless of the circumstances. The ex still doesn't know she cheated. They have been broken up for about 3 months and this is my main issue; she just won't let it go, not even a little bit, and any person (stupid enough!) to ask her anyhting about it (say we're out and someone we're talking to asks if she has a bf) gets a very bitter 'WELL, I WAS engaged but now I'm NOT, and I had to move out and now he has another gf'. The reaction from these people is generally severe uncomfortableness. I'm not suggesting she shouldn't be able to be honset but she doesn't realise that she sounds a little insane. I've actually had people say to me afterwards 'Oh my gosh, what's up with your friend? I was just making converstaion and she made me feel so uncomfortbale I didn't know what to say.' Yet she has no idea it makes people feel this way. I've kind of jokingly sai to her, 'not your best story ha ha' but she still does it. She even says it like that to guys she's trying to 'chat up'. I think she expects a lot of sympathy, but most people are just scared off and, right or wrong, they don't have a lot of sympathy, especailly when they find out it happened over 3 months ago. (Not that she should be 'over it' but still, she's pretty bitter, considering it was her decision). The hardest part is, she gets all teary about it and expects sympathy from me, which I do my best to provide but not only did SHE break up with HIM, she also cheated on him! Am I being unreasonable to find this tiring? Am I also being horrible to wish she would stop with the story? I'm not going to end the friendship or anything like that, I just wondered what others thought. Any thoughts?

I think he might possibly still have feelings for you. He did buy you a birthday present and has been calling you. Although, I don't know him, maybe he is just a really nice guy who thinks he is doing the right things by you. And it is definetely possible that he DID have things to do when you wanted to see him. I know myself, I always overanalyse everything, and most of the time it's unwarranted! Think about what you want. If you really love him and want to get back together I suggest you talk to him about it seriously. But if you're not sure, then don't do anything until you are, because if you only think you want to get back together, and you do, only to change your mind I'd say the friendship you have now will be lost. My boyfriend and I got back together after a year apart (we were together for 4 years before that). It's fantastic to be back with him but it's a hard road as well, as things are never the same (and that's probably a good thing!). But if it's what you want, I'd say go for it. You'll only spend time wondering if you don't.

A Manda Don't worry about it at all. I've done it both ways, and there's really no difference at all. With uncircumsised, the foreskin pulls back when the guy is erect anyway so it's basically the same. Trust me, he'll just be happy you went down there! I'm sure you'll be fine

Just give her the space she needs, otherwise she's just going to get angry with you. How are you coping with the break up now? It's been a little while.

Hey I just wanted to say that, along with everyone here, I have been following your posts and I know you'll be a fantastic mum. You have shown such love for your son from your very first post about him, and as many people have already noted, love is the most important thing for your child, and baby Ian is so lucky to have both a mother and a father who love him very much. I wish you the best of luck! Make sure you post on here ASAP after the big day, there are so many people waiting to hear all about this little one of yours xoxo

You've only been going out three weeks. I'd give it time. You feel really comfortable already, which is great, but true intimacy takes time and I'm sure when you've been together a bit longer you will not wory so much about her shyness, as she will no doubt come out of her shell.

I'd say she knew very well what she was getting into when she turned up on your doorstep. Don't beat yourself up over it, you didn't take advantage, she probably just wanted to feel better, and sleeping with you provided that. I'm not saying that she doesn't feel guilty about it in the harsh light of day, but that's not your fault! Some might argue that you should have backed off considering the situation, but I think you did what you both thought was ok at the time. I wouldn't worry too much about it.

Ah, Waitin, I wish I could give you all the answers you're looking for. If I were you, I would just wait and see if she calls (you know you're going to anyway ) But, unfortunately, I agree with the others, if I really liked a guy, I would definitely make time for them. But, then again, if she just got out of a relationship then maybe she's decided to be a little selfish and have some 'me' time before she gets into anything else. Not to make you feel bad (and this may not apply to you) but a little story for you- I had a female friend, Ally, who had just broken up with her bf and was spending a lot of time with a male friend of ours, Phil. They hung out a lot, coffees, movies, clubbing together etc. After this went on for a while, he tells her he has feelings for her. She really wasn't over her ex, so she told him that and also that she wasn't ready to date yet. Now, the problem was that Phil assumed that when Ally was ready to date again, that HE was the one she would be dating. Not so. Ally like him, but not enough to want to start a relationship with him. Now, maybe she should have been more blunt with him about this, but she didn't want to be horrible, and I don't think she knew that this is exactly how he felt, or the extent of his feelings for her. Fast forward a few months and Phil is devestated to find out that Ally is seeing someone else. And while I could understand that, Ally had never actually promised him anything, he just heard what he wanted to hear from her and that ended in heartbreak for him. Their friendship was ruined because of it; he felt betrayed, and she felt like she was being punished for simply dating someone who wasn't him, which she had every right to do. So, I guess you can see what I'm trying to say. But as I said, wait and see what happens when you see her, but try not to pin everything on her (as hard as that is). If it's meant to be, it will be.

Hey, that sucks. I mean, there is the possibility that he got the message, was busy and forgot about returning it, but I guess most people would say 'If he really liked you, then that wouldn't happen'. Which is probably true, but I can see why you still hold out hope about him. Case in point- of my friends is a shocker with messages. She honestly forgets to return messages to everybody (especially texts). If she gets them when she's at work or something and she can't reply straight away, she usually forgets to do it at all. But I know this is just what she's like and I usually just remind her of it (if it was important) and then she feels horrible, but she honestly has just forgotten and we've all been guilty of that. However, in your situation, I guess you don't want to look needy, so maybe wait for a chance to bump into him again (if this is possible, depending on where you met) and just casually say to him 'oh, I left you a message to catch up, did you get it?' or whatever. If he looks a bit awkward and says 'oh...yeah' then let it go as one of those things and if he says 'oh my god, I'm so sorry blah blah blah' then all well and good, if you're willing to accept his apology. I'm a bit like you, I always give people the benefit of the doubt, even when they probably don't deserve it. Sometimes it comes back to bite me, but other times, it's a good thing! Hope it works for you

Interesting question. I guess it really depends on the individuals involved. In some of my past relationships, I have felt that no amount of talking after the breakup would really have solved anything (maybe it had all been said before), but in others in think that it would have been helpful to have that conversation. I agree with your idea (even though you were relating it directly to your own relationship, I think it can also be generalised) that not everyone is compatible. It doesn't mean that either person is a 'bad' person, but obviously, not everyone suits everyone, otherwise things would be a lot simpler! I think if she is open to having the discussion, then go for it. But if it's not something she would be receptive to, then it's probably best not to push it, as you don't want to hurt her if she is already feeling negative about the ending of the relationship. Hope that helps

Ok thanks guys!

Sorry to hear about your situation. It's sound like you're having a really tough time. Try not to beat yourself up too much about thinking of your ex. You still think of him fondly and would consider getting back with him if the opportunity arose because you had 11 great years together and that is not easily forgotten. It's natural that you are going to be thinking of them together, and it's going to hurt very much. But it probably doesn't make you feel any better, so if you can (easier said than done, I know) try and distract yourself with your good friends or work or a hobby. It's not going to make the pain stop but sometimes just getting out there again reminds us that even though our world seems to have come crashing down, the rest of the world is still turning. I think you are doing extremely well considering the circumstances.

Advice needed on current relationship. Help please! Hi, I have used the forums before as a viewer and I have also offered some advice and just thought I might get some back myself! Not sure if I'm in the right thread but I figure this is about my ex boyfriend even though he is also my current boyfriend. Anyway, I'll try and cut a long story short... My boyfriend and I were together for 4 years, from 17-21 (we are both now 23). We broke up (I broke it off) for no reason at all, but for a million reasons- if that makes any sense! Mainly our problems were (and I don't really want to get into a debate about these becasue I realise that they are problems that a lot of people have and manage to survive, but we didn't) that we had only been with each other, I made him my whole life (always put him first, didn't see my own friends much etc.) and when he didn't do the same I resented that, and towards the end of our relationship when we both weren't very happy he didn't always treat me the way he shoud have (getting upset with me for little things, not showing respect etc). Before we broke up we had talked about the fact that we weren't happy a few times. So, when we eventually did break up I though he would agree that this was the best thing, I was wrong. He was very heartbroken and we didn't speak for about 6 months. After this time, we had coffee every few months and caught up. During the time we were broken up we each had other relationships. After being split for 18 months, I initiated us getting back together and we have been so for about 2 and a half months now. We have talked about breaking up and agree that while it hurt both of us a great deal, it was the best thing we could have done at the time. My problem is this- he doesn't trust me fully. I know that is understandable and it will come with time, but I don't know what to do. He says that he doesn't fully trust me and he is worried that I might hurt him again. We are trying to take things slow to build our friendship back up. I understand that he would feel this way, and it is probably very selfish of me but I feel very frustrated beacuse I feel that I have no control. He still spends a lot of time with his friends doing things that I am not included in. To be fair (?) his group of friends do spend a lot of time together without their partners so it's not a really personal attack on me or anything but it's still difficult. I know I shouldn't compare but when we were together the first time, we were very involved in each other's lives; he practically lived with my family and I was very close to his family and friends. Now it's as though I am being kept at arms length (I guess to protect himself). He says he doesn't want to rush things and he wants to take things slowly. This is fine but it often means I don't get to see him as often as I would like (maybe only twice a week he comes over after dinner, and rarely on the weekends which is when I would like to see him as we both work full time) and I'm trying not to be too pushy about this. My main questions/problems are these: 1- Am I being completely selfish to want to be inlcuded more in his life? The way I see it is if we don't sepnd time together this 'akwardness' will remain. 2- If I see a problem in our relationship (i.e. the time spent together) should I push the issue? I worry that if I do he will say I'm pushing him and not giving him space/taking things slowly enough. 3- In some ways I feel like I have no control about anything, but do I have any right to complain or did I give up that right when I broke his heart? Ahhh- when did it all get so complicated? Thanks everyone

Hmmm...nice topic but a vaid question. Um...yeah, this happens. But it's not too bad if you have shower afterwards. I rememember the first time this happened to me and I was like 'oh my god, what's going on?!', but it doesn't all stay there are the only way it can go is...down. I reccommend the use of panty liners if she's going to keep having sex without a condom. It saves the leg, and your nice underwear

Brickchamp- I just stumbled accross your thread (and it seems like you have a lot of good friends here, I feel as though I'm crashing a private party ) but I just wanted to say I've been there too. And I agree with annie, it seems like it was just a text to say congratulations. That seems pretty harmless to me. And if he is looking at his phone thinking anything negative then let him, he should at least be able to see it for what it is, a nice message from a friend (or aquaintance, or whatever). Don't beat yourself up over it. He's probably not even thinking about it anymore. At least now when you get the urge to text him again you can remember how it felt when he rudely couldn't even text back a 'thanks' this time, and you'll probably be able to avoid the temptation. Good luck

It sounds like most people are suggesting that anydaynow leave her partner. That seems to be the most common thought amongst this thread. And having read through all of the posts, I can see the arguments from both sides. Yes, 8 years is a long time to wait, and whatever it is that the b/f is looking for seems quite hazy. However, anydaynow, only YOU know what it is like to be in this relationship, so if YOU believe that your b/f will propose and come through with the goods, then maybe he will. We don't really know. One thing I would say though, is that while you have been together 8 years, a lot of those years were spent at school and how many of those years were you really in a position to get married? I don't want to start a whole other debate, I'm just making a point that 8 years for one couple and 8 years for another couple might be totally different. I have good friends who have been together for almost 5 years and just got engaged. And yet many people believe that it is way too young for them to be making that step- why? Because he just turned 21 and she is 22. So when I tell people that my friends are engaged after 5 years they go 'oh yeah, 5 years, that's normal' but when I tell them that my 21 and 22 year old friends are engaged most people are like 'oh my God, that's way too young'. But everyone is different. I'm not telling you what you should do, advice is great but only you can make that decision, all I'm saying is, that while you've been together for 8 years, you probably haven't been in a position to realisitically get engaged for that long, so maybe it's not as bad as it seems. All in all, if you think you can handle waiting until he's ready, then great. If not, I guess you have some big decisions to make. Good Luck.

Hi I hope everything is going ok for you now. I think you should treat her how you feel that you can. That is, if you feel like you want to be nice to her, then do that. If you're not sure if you can do that it's probably best to stay away. You're very hurt right now and you might do/say something you might regret later. Good Luck

I am confused. And after reading your posts I can see that you are too. Are you asking for advice on how you should tell your boyfriend that you don't know that you want a future with him? Is that what you are saying? Or are you saying that you do want a future with him but you need time? I am sorry if I am being ignorant, I have read your post a couple of times but I'm still not sure, but would like to help if I could

I know this isn't really the forum to debate whether or not cannabis is detrimental to someone's health or not, and I know that really, we are attempting to give advice on this specific situation, but I couldn't let this topic go by without mentioning that cannibis has definite links to someone's mental health, even if not their 'physical health'. Argue all you like, but I have worked in this area and the number of young people suffering from drug induced psychosis is incredible. There is definetely a direct link. But I also believe that cannibis is definitely the lesser evil in many sitautions. Doesn't make it a great option though.