lost and alone

why is that? It is something that i want to believe, but it's kind of hard when her stupid friends are telling her that THEY orgasm to a guy's penis while my girl can't. What causes women to be like this? Any specific reason?

Ok here's the backstory...My girlfriend and I went out for over a year. During this time, I had a hard time getting her to orgasm. I tried every trick i knew, but she was really only responsive to my fingers. I am not used to this by anymeans. Other women i have been with have been pleased. She has been sexually assalted and i am the only other person she has been with. I suggested that maybe she should seek counseling, but she won't do it. We broke up about 4-5 mths ago and recently she has come back into my life. At first the sex was wild, now it has started to calm down. I came close to having her orgasm once with my penis..since then nothing. She takes so long to get in the moment that by the time she does, i'm bored or i'm ready to finish. I try so hard to get her to orgasm quicker, but for some reason i can't. She runs her fingers through my hair and kisses me but that's it. I know there is another guy with a post like this and mine is similar to his..Because of this, i usually use my fingers to stimilate her until she is almost there, then i will use my penis to get her off. Sometimes, though i still use my fingers. She complains that i "lose her" and when i ask her what i should be doing, she says she doesn't know. I have tried to talk to her about this but she cannot tell me anything. Since we have gotten back together, i have been with two women. She has been with one guy..but not "all the way" Recently, she has told me that while i can get her going, she gets turned off when i stick my penis inside of her because i was with two other women while we were broke up. What's up with that? I mean we weren't together, but she says it goes through her mind. It goes through my mind too that she was with the other guy, but i dont let it bother me. When i bring it up, she says well at least i didn't go all the way. I really don't know what to do. I have asked her to forgive me as its not like i knew we were going to get back together (we had a bad breakup) and things are really good now except for this. Yesterday while sitting down I made some remark to her and she quipped back with she wanted for once a good lay. My feelings were hurt and she saw this, smiled and said she was just kidding, but i even asked her if it was my penis size. I'm only 6 in btw. I'm happy with what i got but i am just so confused. She said she thought about it, but it's not that. i really don't know what to do...Can someone please help me? Btw she has already mentioned to me that the finger thing is getting old and that she wants to orgasm to my penis. When i tried to tell her that not every girl does orgasm..she told me that all of her "friends" (that i dont like) told her that they orgasm with guys almost every time....

i have several issues with my relationship and i dont know where to go with it.. My girlfriend and i have been going out for three weeks now. Everything is fine, but i guess that is the problem When we met, there was an instant spark, we dated but not for long. By the second date, we had decided that we wanted to be exclusive because things were going so well. We finished each other sentences, had the same thoughts, and we had even been through the same things. We both have 2 yr degrees, have both been married and divorced (due to abusive spouses on both ends) and we are both from the same culture and race. We have ALOT of similarities. I think this is where the problem lies. Since we are alot alike, we have both gotten really comfortable with each other really quick...recently my girl broke up with me for a day, just because this is her first real relationship after her ex husband and she explained how she was scared about what she was feeling but she decided that this was not the way to go and she wanted to go back out, but we would have to take things slow. I agreed, but now my guard is up first of all. The other problem is is that she is shy and as such she is not the biggest conversationalist. It takes me a while to get her warmed up but on the phone we talk alot. In person, for some reason, i feel like the conversation dies. On the phone, it's great. For some reason, i get nervous around her still, like i am going to say the wrong thing...I know that she is starting to feel something for me, however, i just keep feeling like there is something missing. We get along great. She has told me that loves being around me, that i treat her nice and that she is very happy with me. I think it might be the fact that when we are around each other she is shy and doesn't say much, thereforeeee i think that there is nothing there or that she is getting bored. Everytime i meet her, it seems SO formal, maybe i just can't relax, i dont know...but i just feel like something is missing. She told me that she is shy and she doesn't talk alot so it is nothing against me...so the question is what's wrong with me?? Am i doing something wrong? Am i expecting too much out of something that just started? Is there such a thing as two people being TOO comfortable with each other? Why do i feel like something is missing all the time??!! Help!!

i have been with my gf for a little over a year now. Unfortunately, i have run into a few problems with her. For starters, she was sexually assaulted by her ex before me and because of that I believe she has a bad view on sex. I don't blame her, but i have tried to help her. She has told me that she has a "low" sex drive and i believe that is one of the reasons. But now i'm totally confused! She does so many things! On one hand, if i bring up sex, she has told me that she doesn't particularly care for it and she gets nothing out of it. However, when we do mess around, she doesn't stop me(she says she "lets" me because she doesn't want me to get upset with her, but i have been turned down before by her and i HAVENT gotten upset) and she has had orgasms before. It's almost like she tries to play the tough guy by not admitting that she likes it or something. I guess this would be problem 1. How do i get her to stop doing this? To make this matter more complicated, remember that she doesn't really "care for sex", now she was afraid to tell me this and i had to probe to get it out of her (again she didn't want me to get upset/hurt my feelings). But she has had fantasys of threesomes (mainly celeb crushes) no big deal. Again i was like how can this girl be like nah i dont like sex but then she has thoughts like this. Even now, she is now admitting to me (after a year mind you) that she likes to dress up like a hoochie lol. She would never cheat on me, i know this for a fact, but she loves the attention of when other guys look at her, i mean what girl doesn't? When i try to tell her that she is freaky, she tells me no she isn't and she openly denies it! We were watching the wild wild west (one with will smith) and there is a room in the movie with chains and leather and stuff and she was like oh..and i could see a certain look in her eye (another side note, she liked this sexual swing thing that we saw at a sex shop once) and i could tell that she liked what she saw. I again told her she was freaky and AGAIN she was like no i'm not. I told her that there was nothing wrong with it, but how do i get her to come out of her shell? How do i get her to accept herself sexually? This woman is very feminine and she believes that the man should make all the moves, hence i have always initiated sex. Even stuff like holding hands and kissing, i initiate 90% of the time. I would just like to find some way to allow her to accept herself sexually. For the longest time she didnt' "know" herself and in a way she still doesn't. I have seen her get mad before and i have asked her why and she will tell me she doesn't know why. She's a good person, but i just do not know what to do about this situation.

while it may not have been the most mature response in the world, ill admit i was hurt... The guy that was in this was also someone that i had known for many many years. He never once expressed desire for my girlfriend and it seems to me that if he was a good friend, then he would have never done this at all. I dont date people or mess around with people that my friends have dated so that may just be a morality that i have to live with. Regardless... A similiar situation happened once when i was married. We were separated and she slept with someone else. He knew this as i had told him my story and still he did this to me anyway. So whatelse could i do? Yeah i dropped hints..about how wrong it was..the wife took the bait. She was also mad since him messing around with my x was not part of the deal. The fact that he was recording it on camera while the camera was hidden proved that even though his wife told him u can watch but dont touch and ill satifsy you later, that in his mind, he planned on screwing her over in the beginning It was all about revenge..noting more nothing less. Now that its happened, thinking about it still makes me mad but im not as mad as i once was. Another complication was that the guy and my x work together. Everyone knows me at their job, what if someone was to find out? Like i said before, it may not have been the best response but at least now i know that he cant hold it over me and gloat. That really hurts so i got dirty and did what i had to do. Thats all it really was.....

thats just it we were talking about getting back together because we were broke up. I feel like its cheating but we werent together so what can i do? I mean as long as we arent together its not cheating i guess even if we are talking about getting back together..its just we got into a big fight and i told her i didnt think it would really work out so thats where we are at now. We are still talking about getting back together but i dont know..i dont want to jump into something just to have this happen again or to think ok if we have problems and break up will she bang someone else? i dont know what to do...

My girlfriend and i were recently talking about getting back together...it seemed plausible at first but then things got worse and i called it all off. Several days later, she was at a friends house and they got drunk...her, a friend and her husband. Well u can just imagine what happened. However, the deal was that my x was just supposed to be with the girl and thats it(she is bi). The husband was told this btw and he was just supposed to watch them and then the wife would deal with him after that. Well the girls do their thing and the husband joins in which wasnt part of the deal. Of course it was dark and noone could see. Well he starts messing with my x. Of course soon the wife found out and she called the whole thing off. While the husband got up to use the restroom, the girls discovered a camera under some clothes. They got mad, put their clothes on and stopped everything. My x calls me a few days later upset and telling me what happened and that she feels bad. I also felt bad as i still had feelings for her and this sort of situation had happened before..we broke up and she slept with a guy after two weeks. Anyways, i spoke to her about it and i felt really horrible. We spoke and the wife was pretty mad since her husband had done stuff with my x. I also felt the same way. Well a day went by and the wife finally called me and my x over..since my x was visiting me. We go over there and have a few drinks and the wife feels like she should get revenge since her husband messed around with my x. She asks my x if it was ok and she said she wasnt bothered by it. So all of us did our thing and i was a little better after that... My thing now is that i still dont trust her going over there by herself for obvious reasons...on top of this my x has been real apologetic and she wants to get back with me. Its always been my thing to have two women and she feels now that since she has done this for me that maybe we can start talking... I just dont know what to do. She said that it wont happen again..and we WERENT going out...i just made her feel bad as to finally get my way with this situation(you messed around with her i wasnt there blah blah blah) the thing is...should i go back out with her? my roommate says no but hes not reliable at the moment because none of his relationships have ever worked out right...She has never cheated on me while we were together.. and she says shes not messing around with anyone anymore...is she worthy of a second chance?

its just that i care i guess too much what other people think and i dont want to seem like well dude...u knew she was like this and now she broke ur heart later on down the road. I just dont want that scenario to happen. Do you think its possible to continue a relationship like this with 3 people and not have any problems? I know that usually people get jealous when this happens but since ive done it once with no complications, i dont see why my gf would be jealous. I just do not want to seem like a fool for giving her an extra chance Its like the old saying..Fool me once shame on you..fool me twice shame on me.

My girlfriend and i were recently talking about getting back together...it seemed plausible at first but then things got worse and i called it all off. Several days later, she was at a friends house and they got drunk...her, a friend and her husband. Well u can just imagine what happened. However, the deal was that my x was just supposed to be with the girl and thats it(she is bi). The husband was told this btw and he was just supposed to watch them and then the wife would deal with him after that. Well the girls do their thing and the husband joins in which wasnt part of the deal. Of course it was dark and noone could see. Well he starts messing with my x. Of course soon the wife found out and she called the whole thing off. While the husband got up to use the restroom, the girls discovered a camera under some clothes. They got mad, put their clothes on and stopped everything. My x calls me a few days later upset and telling me what happened and that she feels bad. I also felt bad as i still had feelings for her and this sort of situation had happened before..we broke up and she slept with a guy after two weeks. Anyways, i spoke to her about it and i felt really horrible. We spoke and the wife was pretty mad since her husband had done stuff with my x. I also felt the same way. Well a day went by and the wife finally called me and my x over..since my x was visiting me. We go over there and have a few drinks and the wife feels like she should get revenge since her husband messed around with my x. She asks my x if it was ok and she said she wasnt bothered by it. So all of us did our thing and i was a little better after that... My thing now is that i still dont trust her going over there by herself for obvious reasons...on top of this my x has been real apologetic and she wants to get back with me. Its always been my thing to have two women and she feels now that since she has done this for me that maybe we can start talking... I just dont know what to do. She said that it wont happen again..and we WERENT going out...i just made her feel bad as to finally get my way with this situation(you messed around with her i wasnt there blah blah blah) the thing is...should i go back out with her? my roommate says no but hes not reliable at the moment because none of his relationships have ever worked out right...She has never cheated on me while we were together.. and she says shes not messing around with anyone anymore...is she worthy of a second chance?

i see women all the time with children..doing internet ads or just trying to meet people. One of the first things they make clear is that their kids come first and if you cant accept them or their kids then you should just forget having a relationship with them Most women are like that, but for some reason society has to treat men differently. I think that you're being selfish. As a guy i have no problem "hiding" my feelings if the kids are around. After all it shows respect because i dont believe in pda in front of children If you were the one with kids, im pretty sure it would be a different story..in fact usually it always is. I think you should give him a chance and if he has to fight for his kids then let him but that doesnt mean you have to leave him. If you are supportive that is..but from your post it sounds like you are not. In that case, leave him and let him find someone else that will love him. And pray that if you ever have kids that this doesnt come back to haunt u. What goes around comes around.

i guess perhaps ur right maybe but since im tx i dont really see alot of interacial dating going on here..these are small towns after all i know how to play the dating game i am 26. i think the problem maybe these girls are young while they are legal perhaps they are not true enough but no matter what the reason, being told i shouldnt speak my language and listening to music that i like is just unacceptable so sorry i dont buy the fact that they choose other guys for numerous reasons esp, when i know i look better than the other guy and everything. I have been treated bad by whites in the past and that certainly doesnt help things. Now thinking about it, why should i even bother..

i think i was sort of misunderstood in my message above i feel that white women will not give me a chance because i am mexican not the other way around

i live in the south, tx as a matter of fact and im half white half hispanic. The towns around me are majority white with blacks being right behind them, hispanics make up 10% of the population. The problem im having is at times, i will see a nice white woman. I have dated both hispanics and whites, but most whites that i have dated admited to me that they dont like white men. I m not that bad looking and ive seen white women pass me over for other guys good looking and not. The goodlooking i can let go after all u cant win them all, but the bad looking is what bothers me I dont really know what to think. I feel that i cant get a woman due to my race. When i have dated before(white women only) i have been told that i shouldnt speak spanish or that i wasnt "raised right" due to the fact that i was raised in a hispanic house and im somewhat unknowledgable about certain ways or customs. I really feel down about the whole situation and i feel that im stuck in a place where i dont belong. Moving out is not an option since i am currently going to school here. I just feel really lost and alone. I do not think its right that i say ok im not going to date whites anymore due to this. Ive never had these problems with a hispanic woman, however hispanic woman are hard to come by. The question is, is it me? is it my race? is there anyone in the south that can tell me this? i just dont know what to do anymore...i take really good care of myself and i have a light tan but my face is not "white" i have more of hispanic features but my skin is light...what should i do?