lonestar_80

What more can you expect? You have to set standards for yourself. If a guy already has a woman in his life then you should not even attempt to try to date him. I know some women date unavailable men because they have issues with their fathers, or issues about their self esteem. Just know that if you are all the wonderful things that you describe, then you don't have to go for a man that is all ready taken. As soon as you see a wedding ring or he says that he has a girlfriend mark him as off limits, no matter how handsome and charming he is. Date single men and then you can start a relationship. If you say that you're smart, then you have to logically know that nothing will ever come of starting a relationship with a man that is taken. Stop feeling like you have to prove something, by taking other peoples men. In their eyes you will only be a fling, because they have someone else that they have made a "commitment" to at home.

That same thing happened to me three years ago. Oh honey yes! I have a different point of view. I am a Christian. The Bible says three important things. 1. People will reap what they sow. 2. Do not take revenge let God be your avenger. 3. God will restore the years that you lost. I have found out that what goes around, does come back around. My ex found that out the hard way...and he came crawling back like a beat up dog. But I did not take him back. Trust me, God can pay back your ex much better than you EVER could! My ex got his pay back.

This is the answer you gave on the cheater poll, If you know this then why are you with your boyfriend?

Are you really just 15? What your boyfriend is doing is a crime. How old is he? Your Dad should have him put in jail for sleeping with a minor. Just think of it this way, most men are willing to say anything to get sex. I have been there before. They will promise you anything marriage, kids, ect. just for sex. They are willing to lie to you. They will play mind games with you and make you think that you are crazy for questioning their actions. What you are doing is wrong. You should treat people the way that you want to be treated. Ask yourself this question, DO you want your future husband to cheat on you? I believe in God. A phrase in the Bible that is so true...you reap what you sow. Other wise know as what goes around comes around. If you disrespect other people you actions are bound to come back one day and bite you in the butt. Your man will cheat on you. Marriage is a covenant that people make before God. You are dishonoring, his marriage covenant, and you dishonoring yourself by being in this relationship. I really do not see things working out for you. Trust me if his wife finds out who you are, she may hunt you down. I have heard of wives beating up their man's mistress. If he use to be a pimp, you know she is a "ride or die chick", and she will not be afraid to fight you. If they will do it with you, they will do it to you. Your boyfriend has no morals or character at all. He is sleeping with a child. Would you want your child sleeping with a 30 year old guy? If you married him, what makes you think he won't cheat on you? When your 35 how do you know that he won't stalk another 15 year old. I am sorry dear but please break up with him. Enjoy your youth, you only get it once. I would love to be 15 again! Focus on doing well and school and enjoying your friends. Dump the pervert he is just looking for sex. This relationship is really unhealthy and it sounds like he is just manipulating you.

Hey Dave! I find your posts so refreshing! They really help me out. I have two problems with my ex's. I did exactly what you did about three years ago with one of my ex's. He came crawling back like a beat up dog! But I did not get back together with him b/c he was a cheater. It kind of pisses me off though. He comes to me to have his ego stroked but then when he gets his fill he is MIA. I got to the point where I do not take anything he says seriously. Since I don't talk to him He thought that I had moved out of state. He texted me for Valentines day and my birthday (March) and I text him for his Birthday(May). He called me a week ago and asked me if I missed him. Then he said that we really understood each other. A Year ago he is asking me about who I am dating etc. How sorry he was for hurting me and that he is not the same guy he use to be. He does the same song in dance every year in June. What is so special about June? Dave my question is why does he call me out of the blue every year, and ask me if I miss him all the time. I mean it is one thing to say Hey, How are you doing, how are things going. But why ask if I miss him? Anyway...I am really here b/c I am having problems with a guy I have been seeing for 4 months. The relationship is so random. We only see each other once a week, b/c he works two jobs and the night shift. He is always sleeping, I understand that, but he makes time to go to the bar with his friends every Thursday night but he has to pencil me into his schedule. My spirit tells me that something is not right about this relationship. He makes up excuses (in my eyes) for why he can't see me. I also think that I slept with him too soon. (One month into the relationship). I think that he took advantage of me b/c I was not use to sexual relationships b/c I had been celibate for almost 3 year by choice. Every guy that I dated before this guy we did not have sex. My ex from 3 years ago made me not want to have sex again until marriage. But this guy somehow charmed my pants off. Sorry for rambling...but why would he start a relationship with me knowing my past and still try to use me for sex? He did it, all wined and dined me, talked about us being best friends. He was introducing me to all his friends, calling every night in the beginning. Taking care of me when I was sick or he was sick. I though he was a great guy. Then he started to distance himself b/c of different reasons. He has a very sick father, and lost a sibling a few years ago , so that burden weights him down at times. He is 34 but hangs out with 26-28 year olds. He likes the party scene on the weekends. He acted like he wanted to settle down but then starting distancing from me. He would say that he is going to call but then does not call. He would say lets go to lunch/dinner/etc. and then did not call to set up the date. I feel like I made things too easy for him. I adored him and treated him too well. I always did what I said I was going to do. Always called back promptly. I cooked for him and told him how handsome he is even though he is somewhat insecure about his weight. But I still like him even though he is a little chubby. He is cute to me. However, he says that he is intimidated by my beauty; I don't know if that is a line or if he is telling the truth. I am very attractive and men flock to me and some men are afraid to talk to me b/c of the way I look. He said that he wanted, to be wanted and he thought that I should initiate sex because he did it all the time. But we really never had sex that much only 5 times in 4 months. But coming from my background of being celibate for 2 1/2 years, sex is not that important to me, and I don't want him to just want me for sex. I just feel bad Dave b/c I feel like I got played and he does not even care about how I feel. When I call him on the phone he is sweet as pie but then does not call me for days. I just can't take not knowing how he really feels about me. It makes me mad b/c I can't stand two faced behavior. I feel like I am starting to look desperate. I call him almost every day and sometimes he picks up and other times he does not pick up. Why does he act like he wants to see me but then does not follow through. I think I scared him away b/c I told him that I refuse to be a booty call, and I refuse to be with someone that is not reliable. He has been out of town for most of the week for the last two weeks, and I have not seen him since Memorial Day. I know that it maybe the end of the road for us...but I just can't get over feeling used. And it hurts even more to know that he may not have the balls to break up with me, but he will just stop calling me, and making up sugar coated excuses for why he can't see me when I call him. Dave I just don't know what is real or fake anymore when it comes to relationships. I don't know if I am just needy in general. I am not use to that type of relationship. I need to see someone more that one time a week and I need for the person I care about to call me. If I am thinking about him everyday and want to call he should do the same. He says just b/c I don't call you does not mean that I am not thinking about you. But what kind of person can not talk to the one that they adore for 3 or more days (unless you’re on vacation or business). Why do people dislike you if you treat them well? Why do you have to treat someone like crap for them to like you? What kind of sick world do we live in. When I love someone I want to give them the world and treat them with honor and respect. ugh this guy makes me mad! I am doing NC not to get him back but b/c I think that I deserve better. He has been acting shady like this for over two months. Every time I call him on his crap, he says I am sorry baby I will make it up to you blah blah blah. He does change, then it goes right back to the way it use to be. I think he may just be a player. I just hate players b/c you don't know when it is real or when it is fake. But they set it up to make you think it is real. I have never been played before, so I really did not know what to look for, all of my relationships have lasted 3 or more years. I think that he is too afraid to break up with me so he wants me to do the dirty work for him. If he can't break up with me why should I break up with him? I think that I will just play his game and just bail on him like he bailed on me. This is NC day two. How sad...I never though I would be this way over a guy. love/lust/infatuation makes you crazy. Sorry this is so long I just wanted to get this off my chest. It feels so much better.

She sounds flaky and two faced. I know how you feel. I was dating a guy for four months and now he has stopped calling me. When I call him he sounds as sweet as pie on the phone, and sets up dates, but then flakes out on me. Says he is going to call but does not. He only calls after I have called him. He says "hey sweetie I miss you, blah, blah, blah, when can I see you again..." When I ask him what happened he has 10 million excuses. He is going out of town, he is going to see his parents; he has a friend in town this weekend etc. Then he says I will make it up to you baby, lets go here and there, and on vacation, blah, blah, blah. We only see each other once a week. He only stays on the phone for 10 minutes max. I can't believe I feel for his game. My heart tells me that it is over, but don't I at least deserve a break up? Why do guys just think that they can disappear, without saying why? If you start something shouldn't you finish it? So I have made up my mind that he is too much of a coward to dump me, so “I will just let it burn.” I will just wait until he calls me and if he never calls me again then it is his loss!

I am so sorry. I know how you feel b/c I am going through a bad time myself. I think that he is right though. He really is not emotionally ready to be dating anyone right now. Marriage is suppose to be a life long commitment and since he does have a child with her I am sure he wants to give it another try. The only thing I can say is to try to do what is best to heal your heart. There is really nothing that we can do to make people love us. All of the begging and crying in the world will not bring him back to you if he does not want to be with you. The hardest part is not taking it personally. This is the area that I struggle with. "If he does not want to be with me then what is wrong with me?" Do not look at it as there is something wrong with you, or what does she have that I don't have. Some men are bad at relationships and they need time to process their emotions. By jumping right into it with you he never got time to process his emotions. He was just easing the pain by starting another relationship. Once the novelty of a new relationship wears off, then a man starts to question his actions. Maybe you are the one for him but he will never know that until he processes his emotions. He has to find out for himself if it can work out with his ex-wife or not. I know how you feel. I amazes me the type of women men go for. They by- pass all of the faithful loving women, to be with women that treat them like dirt. I think that they should do a study on this. Why do people love people that treat them bad? Why do people run away from people that treat them well?

I am so sorry. I never meant to hurt you by anything I have said. I should have been more mindful of that before I just started blabbing my mouth. My tongue can get me in trouble sometimes. I do not think that you are a horrible person. I just think that your actions are horrible. You don't need validation from men at the bar to make you feel beautiful or loved. I just hope that you will do the right thing and not string you fiancé along, if you don't love him. No one is perfect. I hope that all things will work out for you. Love God, love yourself, and love others. That means treating others the way you want to be treated. I am sorry if I hurt your feelings. Please accept my apology.

The age gap is not that bad, it is just a vast difference in stages you guys are in right now. It would be different if you were 29 and he was 39. A teenager really does not have anything in common with an almost 30 year old man. I would listen to your parents sometimes they know what is best for you. There are many old guys that prey on young girls over the internet. He could be just one of them. To tell you the truth most men do not want to start a serious relationship with someone that young. Some men that date women of that age are just looking for fun and sex. Good Luck.

I guess that is strange. Maybe they think that they can change your mind about that. We just want to feel special and we don't want to be with someone that is not interested in a serious relationship. Most women want marriage and kids, not some random relationship. We want love, passion, devotion and loyalty. Well she is a single mother for a reason. Maybe she is single b/c her ex burned her. Her friends are just looking out for her. Some men prey on single moms to get money, sex, a place to stay, etc.; they just think that they are an easy target I guess. It is hard being a woman these days. You have to watch every thing that some men do b/c they may have an ulterior motive. Women get stuck with raising a kid for 18 years, while her ex is free from all the daily responsibilities of taking care of a child. I am sorry. I know that there are some bad women out there. But there are still some good women and men out there somewhere. Lets just keep hoping and praying!

You are so young. You don't need a girl friend right now. I wish I could be your age again. Focus on making good grades in school so you can get into a good college. You don't need a girlfriend to validate yourself. Good Luck.

I'm sorry.:sad: I think that you are right, if she has a problem with drinkig you are better off without her. Just keep up the NC. I think that you are pressuring yourself back into dating. Don't feel that you have to go out there and start dating.. You will know when iti s the right time to start dating again. When I broke up with my ex 3 years ago I was not ready to date other people until after a year. I am over that ex but no I got my heart broken again by someone else. But the timing is different for all people. You do need to hang out with your friends more often. They will help you get your mind off your ex. Try to watch basketball, read books, find a church to go to. The best thing that helped me get my mind off my ex was to help other people. When you start focusing on other things you will get over her. You deserve better than her. It just takes time, and if you just sit around and think about her all the time you will never get over her. Keep busy and don't use people and start drinking to get rid of the pain that well never work. It only hurts yourself and other people, and you don't want that. Good Luck.

Well I am not a hood rat and I got played! I think that I am a good woman with a lot to offer a man. My ex just seemed to like to sweet talk all the time,but never came through with what he said. He was the one that asked me to be his girlfriend and he acted more interested in me that I was in him at first. Is that some type of game you guys play? You act like you wnat marriage and family but you really don't? I just feel bad b/c I never thought I would be the type of woman that a man would want to play. It seems like guys flock to hood rats but they are afraid of making it work with a real woman.

Your right. I alway thought that the guys that get dumped withdraw but the guys that do the dumping...like to mess around. Women talk about those guys b/c they are the ones that have broken our hearts. We want to know what they are thinking and why they have such lack of respect for people in general.

Honey, don't turn into a bar . You are much better than that, you have more to offer than that. Who cares about what a bunch of bar trolls think. Girls get trapped into this lifestyle, and it is not cool at all. Have more self -esteem about yourself you don't need to get your validation from bar trolls and losers. "sex kitten...is just another name for easy Don't get me wrong here I don't hang out in bars, but I know what it feels like to really like a guy and find out that he really does not like you (just your booty). You can't keep a man with just sex, there are tons of "sex kitten/easy girls out there willing to give it up after a night at the bar. I think you need to learn to love yourself. It is not about what is on the outside but what is on the inside. You can't get validation from people at bars. It sounds like your fiance is a good man. Married men and women do not need to be trolling around in bars. I think you should reevaluate your relationship. In marriage people change that comes along with the deal, you have to learn how to adapt and change together for the better, not the worse. Friends...sure if that's what you want to call it. He is just a rebound guy. Please don't take him seriously or God forbid fall in love with him. If this thing with Derek blows up in your face...just know what goes around comes around. Cheating, it is being selfish. You are holding all the cards, but you are not giving your bf any say so in what type of behavior, he will and he won't accept. When you lie to him you are taking away his options to make a decision from a clear stand point. That is minipulation.... Good Luck, I hope you make the right decision. Moderator note I have edited your post - please respect the forum rules regarding use of language.

I do not think that running around with Derrick is going to help you make up your mind. You don't need any person clouding your judgment right now. You need to take a break from men altogether. Your behavior is showing that you are not ready to be in any type of relationship. You have no care for yourself, your fiancé, Derrick, or his girlfriend. There is just a lack of respect all the way around. Take time to get to know you. But don't get buck wild just because you’re afraid of getting married. This Derrick guy sounds like a troll (cheating on his girlfriend...he is a great catch ), why create more problems for yourself. Just something to think about...

That's not set in stone. I think the more time that you spend healing and trying get over the person the better you will be. Please don't take 13 years to get over this person. I think that is just how men are hot/cold. When my ex comes around at a hot moment, I don't pay any attention to him. I think men can't stand to be alone and they are seeking someone to comfort them. A year ago I would have gone into a tail spin asking many questions. Does he still love me? Are we getting back together? Now when he pops up and says he misses me and that we really understood each other blah blah blah, I just stroke his ego and send him on his merry way. I'm not going to lie I do miss, him but I don't want him back. I wish I understood men. I can see how it could be so hurtful for a man to be hurt when a LTR ends. But why do they go off and sleep with anything that crawls? when they are the one doing the breaking up. Do they have something to prove? Do they care about how the woman feels that they are using?

Hello, I am sorry to hear about your pain. I am so young that I would not know how to respond to a man with so much more experience than myself. How long did you date your ex? Why did your marriage to your first wife end? Why did you feel the need to be a womanizer? I am here b/c I feel victim to a womanizer. As an older wiser man, why do men continue to use woman if they do not love them? I read somewhere that it takes half of the time of the relationship to get over the person. So, if you dated someone for four years it would take 2 years to fully get over them. NC is the best thing for you right now. It really sounds like you are heading in the right direction. One thing that I have always read is that if a relationship starts off wrong it will always end wrong. If they will do it with you (cheat on someone else to be with you), then they will do it to you (cheat on you). So, the next time make sure you do not date a woman that is already involved with someone else. Refuse to date women that lack integrity. You sound like a sincere man who is ready to find a good woman. Just take it one day at a time, that’s all you can do. Pray for peace and guidance and continue on your path of healing. God Bless.

I would say don't do it. Trust me I know. Read my first post here (been there done that). If you can deal with things not developing to anything... move forward at your own risk. I can tell you that it is not easy working with someone you had a relationship with and it ends. After my first post things got better, and I thought we could work things out. We keep everything a secret but people could still tell when I was having a bad day. It was hard not being able to talk about my boyfriend b/c everyone knows him. I was mad b/c he was so flakey he never kept his word. He would make dates and break them...then come begging for me to forgive him. I really did not know what his problem was. If he wanted to breakup why not just say so. He was taking the cowards way out. Let me do the dirty work for him. anyway.... If I could do it all over again I would not have slept with him. It would have saved me a lot of pain. The thing is he is a crap boyfriend but he could have been a good friend. I wish I would have just left it at that. If this guy is anything like some dirt bags he will be a wolf in sheeps clothing trying to sweet talk his way into your bed. When he is finished with you, you will walk away feeling pissed off at yourself and you feel used. PS. The woman always walks away looking bad, and he will look like a stud/player for having had sex with you. I hope that my ex never told anyone at work about what we did, but he is more of a ho than me. I was a crazy girl in love who was celibate for 2 years before I meet him and then feel for some BS game... I came to the relationship with a better background than him but if he blabs on me I will look like a * * * * and he looks like a ladies man. Even though I was looking for a meaningful relationship witih him, I thought we had a bright future together at first. Any line he could give he gave it and he was good. But you learn from your mistakes...whatever life goes on. DON'T do it girl!!! If he really likes you he can wait.

Just b/c you break up with someone does not mean that you don't still care about them or miss them. The hardest part of a breakup is to not hear from the person you love. It sounds like he is just not at the level you are at right now. You have five more years of life experience over him. Just think of all of the things that happened to you from the age of 20-25. I know at 20, I was not not ready for commitment.

This is just a tricky thing to do. The greatest problem I see is not his lack of love for you but his age. He is so young. Guys at that age are not ready to settle down and they really don't know themselves. I am sure that he loves you. But this is just not the season for the two of you to be together right now. He may not be ready for marriage rigth now. Don't take it personally. Sometime a man has to go roll around with the swine before he relizes what he had before was more precious. The wild life he seeks is the swine. But you are a prize that should be treasured. However, you can't deny him his youth. If it is meant to be, you will come back together but if not you are only making things worse by not moving on. You have to do what is best for your heart to heal. Nothing can stop what God has in store for you. If God called him to be your man then he will be, nothing can stop that from happening not distance, not time, not age, and not even other relationships. God will bring you backtogether if it is his will. He needs to grow, he needs to become a man, that is sure of what he wants. But 4 years is a long time to wait on a man that you will only see two times a year. Honey, we are not getting any younger and I would rather waste my time alone, than wasting it on a relationship that may not work...trust me I know! I have been there! I dated a guy for 4 years we were madly in love and things just started to turn south when we had to part. We broke up due to LDR.The first few months were hard. I cut all contact with him. But them he called me three months later wanting to get back together. I was not sure of him so I wacthed him, well he strung me along for 8 months. Promises, Promises, but no actions. He wanted the comfort of a loving relationship with me but he also wanted to be a free wild young man. Well I got fed up and broke off contact. He was just playing with my heart. He wanted to keep one foot out the door and one in the house. So I did not talk to him for a year. He calls me up out of the blue after being broken up for 2 years. I think nothing of it, don't talk to him for another year. He called me last week. My point is that I still love him and care for him but I put my emotional well being first this time. I will not get my hopes up everytime he wants to call me just so he can stroke his ego. I put it in God hands, I never thought I would hear from him again but to my surprise things change. My goal is to be his friend because I love him. I have no other expectations other than that and to build my hopes up on something else is a waste of time. I think that you should not set yourself up for pain. Contact if you must but if it is getting too hard you need to cut it off. The 8 months I was in contact with my ex I was a wreak emotionally, he was pullying my strings. It really becomes better and you will get to a place where your heart no longer hurts. Three years ago I would have never thought that I would feel this way. I use to hurt all the time. I would go to sleep at night to escape my pain only to wake up the next morning hurting again. Thank God, that is over with! Time heals all wounds when you are proactive in jump starting the healing process. Do what is best for your heart. If you can handle the contact then contact him. But most people cannot handle it. Good Luck!

Wow! I am sorry to hear that this is happening to you. I think that you should have a heart to heart with your mom. Tell her that you love her and that you cast no judgements on her. Tell her that you are concerned about her well being and the well being of the family. If your mom is having an affair she knows what she is doing is wrong. She is breaking her marriage covenant. Tell her that she nor the pastor can justify sin. The Bible tells us to correct our brothers gently and I think that you should start with talking to your mom first. Pastors fall into sin just like anybody else sometimes. Does your pastor have a wife? Most pastors do not counsel women alone in their offices. This prevents them from falling into temptation. You never really said what your dad thinks about all of this? Maybe you should ask your dad to take your mom out on a date night or bring her flowers to try to rekindle the romance. I don't think that you should be the one to tell him about the cheating. Give your mom some time to get her thoughts together, she has to tell him. If all else fails, talk to your Pastor like the other poster said but don't let him know, what you think is going on. Pray about this. God can restore both of them. It sounds like you have a good heart and care about your family. My Pastor preached on this very area about two Sundays ago. If your Pastor has fallen away from upright living, always keep Christ as your role model...and if your Pastor is going to hell don't let him drag you there with him.

Hi Dear, Don't kill yourself sweetheart. Have you heard of the saying: Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This trial will come and go, your health may be restored...but death is forever. Don't trade one problem for another one that can never be fixed (Eternal separation from God). Do not let your problems get you down. Pray about it. Pray for peace, guidance, joy, and restoration of your health. If you have to pray 10 times a day just to release the stress, do it. God loves you and he will be there for you when all of your friends and family forsake you. Read the Bible, that always helps me. Happy Birthday! If you need anyone to talk to you can always talk to me. Good Book to read: The Healing Power of Prayer ...the suprising connection between Prayer and Your Health. by: Chester L. Tolson PH.D. Harold G. Koenig, M.D

Hi, I am a spiritual person and I can tell you what helped me. I find that prayer is the best thing that relieves stress. It is better than herbs or chanting or anything like that. I know how you feel; I have been down in spirit at times too. I have felt depressed and questioned what my purpose was. I had a spiritual decline, that nothing could satisfy (love relationships, partying, ect.). I made a few bad decisions, but now I am back on a path of healing. I know that you said you don't want to pray, but I know how much prayer has helped me. I am a Christian. I am not a perfect Christian, but every day God is working in my heart and in my life to mold me into a woman of peace and contentment. According to the Bible, all people were born sinners. We all sin and come short of meeting the expectations of God. God is righteous (perfect) and he does not want us to do bad things (sin). Since we are sinners and have broken the law of God, we are destined to spend all eternity without God. However, God's love for us was so great that he sent his Son Jesus Christ to the world to die for our sins. We are like criminals being tried for our crimes (Lying, stealing, disrespecting out parents, taking God’s name in vain, envy, murder, fornication). Everyone has broken as least one of the Ten Commandments. If I were to stand before God today I would be a guilty person because I have done things that are not so good. But Jesus paid the fine for me! He took on the punishment that I deserve, so he could set me free from going to hell. If you ask Jesus to forgive you of your sins and to come into your heart, you can have the peace that prayer gives. Just today my heart was troubled, and the worries of my life were overtaking me. I got down on my knees and prayed to God. The stress, pain, and anxiety went away. I got in my car and turned on the radio station, and listened to a Christian talk show. The very problem that I had been worrying about was being discussed on the radio! The Bible says that God orders our steps! Just think if I had never gotten in my car at that exact moment, I would have never heard the words that inspired me. I hope that this has helped. Nothing can bring you contentment but a relationship with Jesus Christ. I just got some bad news today, that my cousin was in a car accident. He has bleeding on his brain and we are not sure if he is going to make it. I know that you are young and you think that life is endless, but it is not. You have to think about where you want to spend your eternity, Heaven or Hell. I know that this is kind of deep, but if we die without accepting Jesus Christ into our life as Lord and Savior, we are sentenced to go to hell. God is patient and kind, and He is willing to work with you to figure out your spiritual needs. But just know that tomorrow is not promised to anyone and we have to accept Christ into out hearts before it is too late. Just think about it, and I will keep you in my prayers. God Bless

thanks guys I know you are right. It really hurts. I guess I will not be so impressed next time when a guy spends a lot of money on me or calls everyday etc. It was just that he lied so much to the point where he made it seem like we where in a serious relationship. He acted like he was more into me than I was into him. I never over exagerrated my feelings for him. I will talk to him, and tell him what I feel. If I have to corner him at work to do so I will. I won't flip out. I feel so bad...I have never been played before. I am always the type of girl that guys want a long term relationship with. Before I meet him I was celibate for 2 years because I did not want to get played. Then this fox comes along and I have ruined all that I have saved for the past two years. He called last night and asked me if I wanted to come over to spend time with him and his friends, but after the way he has been treating me I said no. Maybe I am playing games? I read that whole Rules book and I do not all him that much. He calls everyday to make plans but then he cancels them.The truth is you guys is that his family is going throught bad times with the murder trial of a loved one. Guys I need you support and all of your advice is sooo helpful. I reallly do not have anyone to talk to about this because premartal sex is just a no no amoung my friends and family. I know that maybe I sound needy and whinny but I really need your help.Thanks...sorry for the misspellings.