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Cute Band Rat

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  1. Cute Band Rat
    Settinup You have posted about this girl on numerous threads over the last year and the situation is ALWAYS the same. What aren't you getting here? Nothing has changed. My advice is to do EXACTLY what you're going to do anyway. take this girl abck. Let her use you, and leave you again. Post here a few times, AGAIN, and then maybe eventually you'll get pissed off enough to actually follow the advice given.
  2. Cute Band Rat
    Jeff I mean closure for YOU. I think it's good to say some things you need to say in order to move on from a relationship without any lingering bad feelings. This does not mean an email begging, pleading or professing your love..it means letting her know you realize the part YOU played in things not working out..and NOT pointing fingers or placing blame on anyone. Ultimately you can only control what YOU do. Not anyone else. Thats what I meant.
  3. Cute Band Rat
    Let me stress: Only send the email for closure for YOU..and then do NC. Otherwise just remain in NC.
  4. Cute Band Rat
    I see nothing wrong with sending her a nice email to explain your feelings and the situation. Ending things on a nice note is always good and who knows what may happen in the future. I would refrain from making excuses though...just simply let her know the timing was simply off and that you were not in a place to offer someone what they needed right now. This doesn't place blame on anyone, which is what you want to avoid. Thirteen years was a LONG time with someone. Definetely be single for a while. This way you'll know you want a relationship because you WANT it, not for fear of being alone.
  5. Cute Band Rat
    Jeff, persoanlly it would have ticked me off to be in your ex'es situation. Dealing with a psycho ex wife who called over 100 times??? Yuck. That in addition to you dragging your feet with getting the divorce finalized. This is why it is advised to NOT date a recently divorced man OR woman. I think NC does apply to your situaton. It doesn't sound like you are in ANY place to be starting another relationship. Give yourself some time to be single again and figure out what you want. It's not fair to drag another person through the baggage of your last relationhship. I would advise to not date anyone right after the ink is dry on your divorce papers. Go out, have fun, explore who YOU are. How long were you married?
  6. Cute Band Rat
    Mustang I am so sorry you are going through this...and your little girl had to witness this. Your wife oughta be ashamed. Her saying she doesn't love you anymore does not give her a license to act like an idiot as far as being a parent. If I were you I would limit her time alone with the kids as long as ou are still married. She sounds pretty heartless.
  7. Cute Band Rat
    Mustang, first off...NO ONE, I mean NO ONE is worth killing yourself over. First and foremost..think of your little girls. They will ultminately pay the price for their mothers poor decison. Is that THEIR fault??They are totally innocent in all this. Secondly...your ex may have left for another man...but guess what? That is NOT a reflection on YOU in ANY way, shape or form. This simply means your ex'es priorities are completely SCREWED up...and god help the man she ended up with, because if she could leave her family , she is capapble of anything. Be glad you dodged this bullet!!
  8. Cute Band Rat
    Ok dude. Your g/f gave ANOTHER dude a blowjob and you wanna beat HIS face in?? Why?? SHE gave him head. DUHHHHHHHH
  9. Cute Band Rat
    Hahaha Basnik I LIKE your sense of humor. LOL. At least you still have that..and I think that's what wil get you through this. I am sure if you need tips on what to say or do....the folks here can offer you plenty. I have never met you and I bet your're MUCH hotter than his skanky ex
  10. Cute Band Rat
    Basnik..this guy is living in the past. For him to even JOKINGLY say those things to you..was truly classless. While I do NOT blame you at all for feeling hurt..you DID ask. I have heard the truth is often spoken in jest....and in this case I think it is true. I am not sure if you're really competeing with the "memory" of his ex ...or just HIS memory of his ex...but either way it's obviously causing you a LOT of discomfort. How do you plan on breaking up with him ..if you do?? Are you going to say it was because of his remark??
  11. Cute Band Rat
    I notice Friscod likes referring to his balls a lot....lol..maybe it's just me
  12. Cute Band Rat
    I guess this is mainly for the guys but any replies are welcome. I admit one of the most powerful things between my ex and I was the awesome sex. We both agreed we had WAY too much sexual chemistry to just be 'friends". I miss that SO much. How many of you have gone back simply because the sex was so awesome? Did that influenece much of your decision? Thanks!!!
  13. Cute Band Rat
    In this instance I agree 100% with Lonelyman. He chased her, she ran and was nasty. Why shouldn't he feel a little satisfaction that she came crawling back and got upset when she heard (GASP!!!) he had the audacity to MOVE ON!!! The fact is..she was PROBABLY assuming he would keep up with the chasing..and when he decided to NOT play HER game, she got upset. I am not advocating game playing..but if Lonely had fed into her hands and let his emotions hang out..he would have been ridiculed for being weak. The fact is..she didn't say she wanted him back, or profess her feelings. Isn't that one of the requirements when following NC?
  14. Cute Band Rat
    Bstrong in your situation..what I think makes it hardest for you is that 1) you never saw this breakup coming at all...and you have had absolutely NO concrete answers on WHY your ex left you. She did it in such a * * * *ty and horrible way that you are left to pick up the pieces. 2) You have no REAL outlet for your pain. As you said talking to someone for 45 minutes sometimes is not always enough...you need to another outlet and sometimes being busy is another one. Look into starting a support grpup for people going through a break up. Call around..maybe something is available.
  15. Cute Band Rat
    Bstrong I wish there WAS something like this...but I don't think anyone sees losing a relationship as anything life threatening. ..like a drug rehab would. Maybe it's something YOU can start up. Why not?? Start a support group. It could help....if you do keep us posted.
  16. Cute Band Rat
    Andrew when you get the chance listen to that sermon. It makes SO much sense. Basically what it says is if someone rejects you, or does not want you..you ahve to "shake the dust off your feet" and move on. As long as you're involved with the WRONG person, God cannot send in the right person because you're blocking the way....anyway..listen to it. Good stuff.
  17. Cute Band Rat
    JLEE....awesome. It's inspiring to see someone who has enough respect and love for themselves to not put up with that crap!!! I'll follow your lead
  18. Cute Band Rat
    Calm down Andrew...this is why we preach strict NO CONTACT!!!! Scroll down this section and find that post by Graiden..listen to that sermon..it is very very powerful. I listened to it 3 times. LET THEM GO!!!!!!!
  19. Cute Band Rat
    I feel ya Andrew. Personally I don't think NC will bring anyone back that doesn't WANT to be brought back. Nothing in the world is going to change that. All you can do is LET THEM GO. No one will be forced to do something they do not wish to do...be it forcefully or any other means. I believe if it's Gods will...they will be in your life. I'm not religious but it just makes sense. Someone posted an incredible sermon in the Healing section. Check it out.
  20. Cute Band Rat
    Holy Moly!!!!!!!!!!! AWESOME!!!!!! Thanks!!!!!!
  21. Cute Band Rat
    And the reason they say "trust your gut' is because your gut burns when something just doesn't feel right. I like Dakos version of how it feels to fall in love. I love that warm mushy feeling in my chest that spreads through my body like warm honey. Dako your not a wussy either
  22. Cute Band Rat
    LET IT GO If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to LET IT GO. If you are holding on to past hurts, pains, experiences LET IT GO. If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth, LET IT GO. If someone has angered you LET IT GO. If you are holding on to some thoughts of revenge LET IT GO. If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction LET IT GO. If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talent LET IT GO. If you have a bad attitude LET IT GO. If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better LET IT GO. If you are stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him LET IT GO. If you are struggeling with the healing of a broken relationship LET IT GO. If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves LET IT GO. Occupation If you're feeling depressed and stressed LET IT GO. If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying, "take your hands off of it" then you need to LET IT GO. Let the past be the past. Forget the former things. God is doing a new thing. LET IT GO NOW, think about it. You owe it to yourself. Break the chains that hold you bondage. Break the chains that have been hurting you, so then LET IT GO FOREVER. Let the past be the past, break free to cut yourself from the things that have been hurting you and restricting you. Let the "TRUE YOU" shine and enjoy a wonderful future
  23. Cute Band Rat
    Ever hear that old joke...the man told his wife she should rub toilet tissue on her boobs to make them bigger. She said HOW? He said well you use it on your a** and look how big IT got??
  24. Cute Band Rat
    Shari in my opinion you didn't give the first go around of NC its full effect. I think you should go away and completely try to put your ex out of your mind. I do not think you ruined your chances at all.......by the end of August he most likely won;t remmeber that incident anyway. So relax and have a good summer
  25. Cute Band Rat
    Ren, you sound like such a sweet sincere woman. If I lived closer to you I would invite you out to lunch . I truly feel bad for your predicament because I can tell by your posts that you really DO wanT to change your life, and sweetie I know how hard that is to do. You are a creature of habit. Most people are really, but just like with smoking or any other habit..you just have to get used to doing things differently. Its tough but possible. You managed to get away from your ex. remember when THAT seemed impossible? Well..you DID it. Now you need to apply that energy to these OTHER issues in your life. You CAN do it...just be open to new possibilities.
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