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Cute Band Rat

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  1. Cute Band Rat
    Isn't love based on friendship? Isn't there a quote that says something like: Love is friendship set on fire"...How can you say he will NEVER have feelings for her? Finding the "whole ball of wax" is practically impossible these days. I am not saying you have to settle...but how many people in their lives marry someone with every single quality they want? I would guess it's very minimal. My question is...what "feelings" are you waiting for? Is it those butterflies and sweaty palms you get when you know you might see her? If it is...then that's fine, but certainly NOT the prerequisite for what this girl could possibly be. If you knew she were to date another guy..and dump you, would you care or be hurt?
  2. Cute Band Rat
    How about just dropping the box off on her porch when you're sure she isn't home with a quick note just letting her know you wanted to make sure she got her things back.
  3. Cute Band Rat
    So either change your number or tell her its none of her damn business what you're doing or WHO you're seeing....it's simple.
  4. Cute Band Rat
    BeStrong. I know this is hard...but it's time to "man Up". Get angry...she tossed you out like yesterdays GARBAGE, and you're willing to take the full blame for it??/ SCREW THAT. Let her go...seriously. Who needs her selfish, hoebag * * * anyway??? Like Annie said STOP LOOKING AT HER MYSPACE!!!!!!. If she even has you on her friends list anywmore, she's probably feeling sorry for you.. she knows you're pining for her. This gives HER power...so STOP IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am not meaning to be mean but you need to be more pro active and STOP blaming yourself!!!! You did EVERYTHING you could and she STILL left you. What does that tell you????? Get out of the house and stop moping, that will NOT ever bring her back. Start living your life like she's dead..because she should be dead to you. She dumped you.... Start today...get off the computer, work out or somethingyou will feel TONS better. I promise!!!!
  5. Cute Band Rat
    Hurting no offense but if you stay with this witch, you have only yourself to blame for being treated like crap...which is EXACTLY what she's doing. Every minute you stay with this woman is another minute you are holding yourself back from finding someone you deserve.
  6. Cute Band Rat
    Or maybe they think the girl is not serious or strong enough to go through with the break up so whe she does and doesn't come crawling back..he knows it's for real??
  7. Cute Band Rat
    I noticed by reading many of these threads that men and women deal with breakups on different timetables. Seems women deal with the hardest part of a breakup in beginning ...and take it the hardest at first. Whereas it doesn't tend to affect guys until it seems like the girl is either over him or almost over him. Usually weeks or months AFTER the breakup. Why is this? Do guys tend to compartmentalize things and women don't? Anyway, just curious.
  8. Cute Band Rat
    Hey...Heather Mills was missing a leg..and she landed Paul McCartney!!!!
  9. Cute Band Rat
    I was wondering if some of you going through a break up or want to get back with someone did some crazy things before resorting to NO COntact? 1) For instance, did you beg, cry, promise to change etc?? What was your ex'es reaction? 2) Whats different in your life since No Contact? Has there been any progress 3) Has there been ANY reaction on your ex'es part? Be it..seeing you as a different or changed person..or pursuing you? 4) How many times did you break NC before you became strong and got it right? 5) How long have you been in STRICT NO so far? Thanks...
  10. Cute Band Rat
    Hey RW, you and your best friend have a very very TOXIC relationship. He does you much more harm than good. This is NOT how a REAL "friend" should be making you feel. Period. I don't care WHAT the excuse is. You have been friends for a long time but so what? That does not mean you are not entitled to make NEW friends and let this one go. The only thing I see you doing wrong here is remaining in this ridiculous "friendship" with this guy. If you were dating him everyone would tell you to DUMP his sorry butt, so why should this be any different??? Sorry if this isn;t what you wanna hear, but this guy sounds like a class A JERK. Dump him already!!!!
  11. Cute Band Rat
    Lawyerboy, I give you props for doing what you did. It took balls..AND you handled it gracefully. I think sometimes people don't like being cornered into anythng definitive...so my suggestion would be to send her an email maybe in a few weeks...just casual...and maybe even a little flirty. ALWAYS be kind, regardless if she turns you down. Maybe if she knows or hears your're dating someone else her interest will perk up...knowing someone is ALWAYS there is kind of boring. Disappear for a while..but keep intermittent contact...and keep it FUN and light. NO serious talk!!!
  12. Cute Band Rat
    Ok say you are in contact with someone who has NOT said they want to get back together....but they are still civil and open to talking with you...and they have not said they DO NOT want to get back together.... What are some signs you are being used as an ego boost until the next best thing comes along? OR To stroke their ego? I assume as long as the communication is pleasant and open there is ALWAYS a chance.... thoughts??
  13. Cute Band Rat
    You can tell him to stop contacting your friends but thAt doesn't mean he will. Truthfully he has a right to be friends with whoever he wants. Persoanlly I think it's your FRIENDS obligation to YOU as your friend to turn down his invites and to be loyal to you. You cannot tell them what to do either. Unfortunately when a relationship ends, sometimes friendships are divided. You also learn who your friends REALLY are.
  14. Cute Band Rat
    You could always hold your nose when you kiss her.....
  15. Cute Band Rat
    Yes but we all know doing NC has about as much chance to save a relationship as pursuing it does. Doing NC on someone who doesn't care anymore is pointless. You may as well just tell them there is NO hope...and to send them on their way to the Healing section.....
  16. Cute Band Rat
    Hi all. I am doing strict No Contact. The thing that is preached so hard here, but I was wondering why there is a forum called Getting Back together, when there is SUCH a strong vote to do NO CONTACT??? Seriously. I RARELY see anyone give the advice to try and work things out, or to pursue a relationship. It seems the basic philosophy is to just give up and walk away without a fight. Does NOT talking to someone solve the issue that broke you up? Now I understand why you do NC if someone OBVIOUSLY wants nothing to do with you anymore..but I'm talking about relationships that actually still have some LIFE left in them or at least a hearbeat. Just because you do No Contact it does not ensure that the OTHER person is going to come rushing back proclaiming their love for you. That happens in movies but NOT real life. Some people are simply not 'wired' to make those overtures, even if they wanted to. I think this forum SHOULD be geared toward actually GETTING BACK TOGETHER...and not ensuring that the relationship never works out. I think the NO Contact thing deserves its OWN forum because when soemone WANTS nothing more than to try to Get Back with someone..they do not want to be told "GO STRICT NC" They would simply be advised to post under NC OR Healing After Breakup or Divorce. Simply put: This Forum is misleading to those who DO wish to end up with someone they broke up with. I know the statistics for reconciliations are low..but thay DO happen and we have all see it on this site. Thoughts?
  17. Cute Band Rat
    I got my phone number changed to insure my ex does not call me, but the BEST part is that since I got my number changed I feel less of an urge to call him!!! Is that odd?? I feel more in control. Has anyone else done this?
  18. Cute Band Rat
    hahhaa tae I guess any of the above would apply..........
  19. Cute Band Rat
    Ok this might be a stupid question..but what exactly is "class"? Remember the movie Pretty Woman, when Julia Roberts went from Hoebag to a woman ANY guy would be proud to have on his arm? Yeah I know it's a movie...but that what I want to become. I know I am a little rough around the edges ad I am REALLY trying to soften up and change for the better. Does anyone have any tips on what class is and how I get BE "classier"??
  20. Cute Band Rat
    Actually, I'm in favor of pushing his head down and putting him in the death grip with your thighs...nothing like a good HINT...
  21. Cute Band Rat
    Hahahaha Notto..THAT'S funny...but HEY, whats good for the goose.....
  22. Cute Band Rat
    Well today I feel ok. yesterday was harder, but I had drank a lot the night before. No more of that. I have hope now, that I can get over this...one day at a time. Thats my new mantra. I read a 12 step book and I realize I have been powerless over this "addiction" called my ex. So I am going to give him up in the same way I give up any other addiction. One day at a time..because in a sense, that's how we ALL have to get over something. How many times in the past have we said we were going to kick a habit (our ex'es) only to go back to it or give in a week later? I have realized I am as addicted to my ex as I could be to any substance. He gives me relief, even if it's short lived, but then thats never enough...I keep needing more of him, and I do what I have to do to get it...ie, beg, cry, argue, threaten, etc etc etc. All at the expense of my self worth, my confidence, my esteem...and do I have him? No. I'm no closer to being with him again. So perhaps what I've been doing simply is NOT working....so I am ready to "surrender"...no games, no maiipulation, NO CONTACT. This forum is my "recovery group". A vital neccesity in ANY recovery. Though I WILL pursue other forms of help. I think seeing this as an addiction gives me hope that I can actually get over it. I am not fighting it anymore...because it's a battle I cannot win. All I can do is focus on me...work on ME and let the chips fall where thay may. So I have been "Ex Free" for one full day....going on two. I hope other trying to get over their ex can view this in the same way...I feel a bit more at peace to be honest, I think because I'm not blaming myself so much anymore. It's a relief. Stop blaming yourselves and just let go...
  23. Cute Band Rat
    Well today I feel ok. yesterday was harder, but I had drank a lot the night before. No more of that. I have hope now, that I can get over this...one day at a time. Thats my new mantra. I read a 12 step book and I realize I have been powerless over this "addiction" called my ex. So I am going to give him up in the same way I give up any other addiction. One day at a time..because in a sense, that's how we ALL have to get over something. How many times in the past have we said we were going to kick a habit (our ex'es) only to go back to it or give in a week later? I have realized I am as addicted to my ex as I could be to any substance. He gives me relief, even if it's short lived, but then thats never enough...I keep needing more of him, and I do what I have to do to get it...ie, beg, cry, argue, threaten, etc etc etc. All at the expense of my self worth, my confidence, my esteem...and do I have him? No. I'm no closer to being with him again. So perhaps what I've been doing simply is NOT working....so I am ready to "surrender"...no games, no maiipulation, NO CONTACT. This forum is my "recovery group". A vital neccesity in ANY recovery. Though I WILL pursue other forms of help. I think seeing this as an addiction gives me hope that I can actually get over it. I am not fighting it anymore...because it's a battle I cannot win. All I can do is focus on me...work on ME and let the chips fall where thay may. So I have been "Ex Free" for one full day....going on two. I hope other trying to get over their ex can view this in the same way...I feel a bit more at peace to be honest, I think because I'm not blaming myself so much anymore. It's a relief. Stop blaming yourselves and just let go...
  24. Cute Band Rat
    Searching, thank you very much for these tips...the substance avoidance is SO important. I was drinking loads of wine..and feeling crappy the next day....though it got me through the night before. I'm also doing strict NC (started yesterday) yeah not very long but we all have to start at day 1, no? I will read this post often as encouragement
  25. Cute Band Rat
    You know it Teddy...already read one. One day at a time...one day at a time...
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