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keenan

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Everything posted by keenan

  1. keenan
    Whoohoo, congratulations! Stay strong.
  2. keenan
    Aww, Ren, you don't need to apologize to anyone here. We're you're support system--your cheering squad. You've made fantastic progress over the past few months, and you deserve a LOT of admiration and respect for that. It sounds more like you feel like you let *yourself* down, and that's a different issue. I'm sorry that you're still on the dance floor with this guy. He sounds like he's very good at figuring out just what you need to hear and see in order to keep a toe in the relationship. In other words, it sounds like he's a pro at manipulating you. Hugs, honey. We know it's not easy.
  3. keenan
    Talking is really helpful. It's like poison--you just need to get it out, even if it's the same stuff over and over again. I vented extensively to one person, and in moderation to a bunch of different people that I'm close to in different ways. I tried to distribute the outpouring fairly equally so that no single person got horrifically over-burdened, though I'm positive they all did, lol. I'd also limit the pity party to 10-20 minutes. After awhile I got sick of hearing myself, and that's when I started to get over it.
  4. keenan
    me, too. i was partly serious.
  5. keenan
    annie, i want to borrow your glasses.
  6. keenan
    maybe. but it's also a stage people go through when they're breaking up.
  7. keenan
    Wow, it looks like I chose the right day to log back into ENA! You GO, Ren! Am so proud of you for coming this far. You're writing with a strength I haven't seen before, and it really suits you. Don't lose your resolve.... But remember--this isn't a one-shot deal. If the planets don't align tonight, then so be it. You can make it happen *any time you want*...and doesn't that feel good? Now I need to go catch up on your old posts, whew...I must've missed a ton in the past few weeks.
  8. keenan
    Oh yeah...Hope75 and Bondgirl are right on. This is perfect.
  9. keenan
    Hi Sharon, Welcome to ENA. If this man told you that he's not the "settling down type," I'd believe him--unless and until he says otherwise. If he changes his mind, he'll be capable of saying the words. Really.
  10. keenan
    I'm not positive, but I think she meant that she's not 18 anymore--i.e., that her eyes are open.
  11. keenan
    Thanks for the words of comfort, rangerider. Glad that you're doing well!
  12. keenan
    Wow, I guess he really *can't* stay away from girls like you! I now see why the comment might make you uncomfortable. The worst case is that he's warning you, but he really probably meant it as a compliment. I honestly wouldn't read too much into a single comment like this unless he often says things that put your intuition into overdrive. Give him the benefit of the doubt for now, enjoy what you have with him...but keep half an eye open.
  13. keenan
    Sometimes it's nice to believe that you're loved for your uniqueness. A better compliment than "you're just my type" may be "I've never met anyone like you before." I suspect that's where SnoGirl was coming from....
  14. keenan
    getting to eat the whole pint of chocolate ice cream....
  15. keenan
    Good for him, and good for you!
  16. keenan
    Sure. I know lots of straight guys who have been to gay bars. It's just a different scene.
  17. keenan
    When she says she's uncomfortable being alone with you, it may be code for "I really like you and am afraid that I'll let myself sleep with you, and I'm not sure I'm ready for that." That she's a self-proclaimed "good girl" is consistent with this--she has a way that she wants to see herself, and she's telling you that this image is important to her...maybe in part so that you'll help her protect it. But if she's really into you and not very experienced with guys, she may be afraid that she's just going to go crazy and wake up to regret it--hence the big deal about telling you that she's not going to sleep with you (even though you hadn't planned on it). It's a preoccupation, and it probably comes from insecurity and fear of being hurt, not general flakiness, IMO. Go slow with her. Tell her that you like her and respect her. Don't put her on the spot and ask her how she feels--let her respond in her own time. You can't force things open sometimes. Let her do it.
  18. keenan
    I'm with Beyondthesea--in some women these are super common no matter WHAT you do. I actually participated in a clinical trial b/c I'm so prone to them, and I'm pretty much on antibiotics all the time. Suckola. I'm sorry she's freaked out. It sounds like she was feeling a bit guilty and hesitant anyway, and the UTI was just the catalyst that made her put her foot down. Personally, if you care about her I'd just give her some space and let her come back to you. If you don't have the time or energy for it, maybe let her go so that she can have a relationship that's slower-paced. Her definition of an "adult" relationship may not be the same as yours....
  19. keenan
    sweet! well done. you'll do a great job.
  20. keenan
    You'll be great! Dress nicely, be polite, smile, and make a lot of eye contact. Talk about how responsible you are and how much you like working with others and pulling your own weight. If she already knows that it's just a summer job, talk about starting college in the fall. She'll love ya.
  21. keenan
    Aww, Philly--that's terrible for you. It sounds to me like she just needs to know that you're there for her...in the 'background' of her life. Your familiarity is probably comforting and helps her feel safe and grounded, even if she doesn't want to be in a full-time relationship with you. The computer question sounds like just a little 'test'--like she's dragging the hook through the water to see if you'll nibble at the bait...essentially reassuring her that you're there for her if she ever needs anything. You know, odds are 99% that the horrid comment that she made just wasn't true. She sounds pretty power-trippy: How much can she get away with and still keep you on the line. I'm sorry for you, but also glad you didn't end up marrying her. You're a good guy and deserve much better.
  22. keenan
    LOL, yummy!
  23. keenan
    Woohoo! Your good attitude rocks. Good luck, keep us posted!
  24. keenan
    Bummer. I don't know how long background checks take. You have every right to call her back and check on your progress. Don't worry--she won't think you're being pushy. It will show that you're interested in the job and care about the outcome of the background check. Good luck, man.
  25. keenan
    My answers to your questions are "yes" and "yes." If I liked a guy I would likely suggest that he visit...but if I was just good friends with him and thought it would be fun to hang out for the weekend, I'd probably do the same. It's possible that she thinks it would be fun to just hang out as friends, but that she's also entertaining the possibility of it leading to more if the in-person visit goes well. Good luck!
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