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Hey Sara - I'm sorry to relay this opinion, but I have a feeling he's not as commited to moving on as he may seem to think or want YOU to think.... I say tell him you're going to give him the space and time to figure out where he's going ...and then see what happens from there....

Naw - don't even re-visit it. You'll surely just re-visit the awkwardness if you do.....

Hey Tao - Your story is tragically sad - you know it and your friends know it - that's why they're distant and pulling away. It hard to face and since its not theirs, its easier to move away. I think your gratefulness to them comes accross quite clear. As does your disappointment in yourself for a perceived failure to them. So.....whilst this might be a bit unorthodox - I'm gonna suggest to you to grab on to that disappointment. It may be your last glimmer of hope. Oh - yes, there IS still hope. Hard to see in all the disappointment and guilt I think... But grab on to it and make it up to them by focusing on their advice, their selflessness, their friendliness etc. For the mates who have befriended you, been there for you, listened to you, consoled you, and who are feeling at wits end with you, pull it together for them. Its hard to NOT wallow in what you're going through - most humans would. But as you've said yourself, you've got a vast network you feel you've taken advantage of to the point of a dried well. An analogy ......we're all glasses of water. Sometimes there are things in our lives that use up our water, spill it, take it etc.... Our friends who have a bit more than we do, will share theirs, fill us back up to a functional level. BUT inevitably we find ourselves again on E. Your family members are takers. They take without re-filling. Your friends are givers - to a fault - cos now they're empty. It is YOUR turn to give back to them..........

ohmigoodness Francis!! We have very similar measurements - cept I'm 2" taller. But my husband says ALL the time how attractive he thinks I am, how attracted to me he is, how I'm PERFECK for him etc....and then DROOLS over the likes of Eliza Duschcu (sp?) She's soooo thin! I'm so the OPPOSITE of thin. I really think he IS attracted to me and really doesn't at all care that I'm quite a bit chubbier than her or the loads of other girls he oogles. And I don't care anymore, I'm done comparing myself to them. You should be too.....

Hey numbhead - great name by the way - I dunno how other people make decisions but what I do, esp when it comes to the big ones - is make that pros and cons list! You are in a GREAT place actually. Too many options has GOT to be preferable - don't ya think? Make a list of why each would be the better choice and what would be the negatives. AND be aware and OK with living and learning. Some decisions are literally made through trial and error. Other decisions are forced thru other circumstances. That you are in the LUXURIOUS position to make your own choice....I think you should be grateful. That said doesn't make it easier I understand, but I think the perspective can help. Just weigh the pros and cons of each - benefits vs disadvantages. But the most important factor HAS to be - what will you be happiest doing, yeh?

WHAT??? lol - what are you even talking about and where on EARTH did you get THAT info?? Ejaculating may have pre-determined genetic factors - I guess - I wouldn't know. I haven't compared my husband to his brother or father BUT - there ARE things one can do make themselves last longer... ....ridiculous...

seems to me that you handled it really well. I mean, how else CAN one handle it when someone says they won't be telling you that they love you anytime soon? Seems a rather strange response I think. BUT it sounds to me like HE was the one who mis-read the situation and was scrambling...

Carl - I dunno how old you are but that could clearly have a bearing on the kinds of girls you're dating. As you get older and older I have a feeling it will get harder and harder to date girls who AREN'T experienced. You may have some jealousy issues to work on but I think if and when the right girl comes along, those things won't even be an issue anymore.....

Hi need2bme - I can totally relate. A long time ago - when I was living with a bf, I lost my job. A job I reeeealy liked. Not even a week later, my bf broke if off with me and asked me to move out. It took me a whole YEAR to get over that, "I wanna go home - how did I get here?" feeling. Liek all have said tho - good new is....it DOES get better.......

well welcome to ENA! Yes - you can find support here - especially for the imbalances love brings..... Glad you were able to vent - I hope that brings you some relief, but if not, feel free to keep posting! There's prolly quite a few people out here who can relate.....

Hey darkpumpkin - Maybe you could let him in on your issue. Maybe he'll be able to help you get thru it. I mean, maybe there is something he'll be able to say to make you feel better about it. I think his having an understanding could be most helpful..... Have you already discussed this with him?

yeh - this is too good to NOT be a sticky!! Awesome post mike'ca

I couldn't have said it better myself....seriously, I'm not that smart. But, I totally agree. I don't think humour is gender specific.....

Hey lizzie - I can't say I really know you all that well, but I believe you when you say you love him. And it sounds like he loves you as well.... I don't think him saying that you'll be able to find a good job if you moved in with him means that he wants you to move in for practical reasons and not for love. On the contrary - it tells me he indeed loves you and is thinking about all aspects of a move on your part. BUT - if you are having a hard time with that, maybe you're not ready for the cohabitating life just yet. Has he considering moving out where you are? Or is that kind of out of the question? I think its hard for anyone to re-locate. Maybe you need to give yourself more time. Could you maybe find a place of your own that's in the same town or a bit closer?

that's not reverse psychology - that's talking back - and you shouldn't do that to people who are verbally abusing you because that will just make them tongue lash you even more. What you SHOULD do to people who are verbally abusing you is become better than them - don't let it get to you. That'll REALLY tick them off!

Hey Chigal - ya know - I agree with all who said just SAY IT! And say it straight away. But to all who I may offend with this admission- apologies - I use that word a lot too..... Its weird, its just so common. I dunno why. I personally don't think it means homosexual. I mean the way I use it. Sort of like back in the Michael Jackson days when people used to say, "that's bad!" to mean really cool.... ...gay means happy so flip it round all slang style and it means, not so happy. When I personally say, "That's gay" to someone who does something lame, I certainly don't mean, "Oh my goodness, what you did was homosexual and that's a bad thing." And if someone thinks I DO mean that......that's lame.

That would be sooooo cool if just by the very nature of turning 65 meant you suddenly got common sense and wisdom. I guess there is hope for me - provided I live to 65.........

I hear ya Puff - Sorry you got yelled at for doing a good. Wanna come clean MY garage? I swear and promise that I won't yell at you for throwing out ANYTHING!!! AND - I'm not old......

Hey Jetta - I can't say I condone your behaviours but I do see an dknow how this situation is soooo discouraging its seems insurmountable. GOOD NEWS is - its not, insurmountable - and don't ever give up on that little girl. As long as you're fighting, even if you don't win, she will know that you always tried. The even better news is your daughter will not be little forever. In fact all kids grow up. Its a sad fact of life...... Either way, there WILL come a day when she will understand. You WILL have your day to let her know how hard you tried and how you never gave up trying.....they can't keep her from you forever. But if you do give up if you keep missing court dates, quit wroking or stop fighting, you won't even have that to offer her when she DOES finally come to you......

Hey Pandaman - Did you say that she has a history of being in abusive relationships? At 23 - that's a sad thing. But it seems to me - and of course I could be WAY off - that she may be trying to over compensate....by that I mean if she felt controlled previous to you, unfortunately for you, she's decided to never let that happen again by taking the reigns herself. Maybe she went a bit over board?? Either way, you're being mostly passive seems a likely coupling. I'm not surprised at all the two of you found each other. It seems to happen that way. POINT IS tho - that you're getting tired of it - I can see that being pretty taxing. For her to dismiss your comments by saying that you're over re-acting is just another form of her control - which in reality is another form of mental abuse. I'm not saying she's a bad person - I doubt she is. But she does have some serious issues that she may need to work out - separate of you. Sounds like you know where this is all heading. You don't need permission or confirmation, although if you're looking for confirmation, I think you've found it here. I too think it may be time for the two of you to take a break....

Hey barb - I guess I would personally just ask him, "hey - is something wrong?" You don't have to give him any ideas - just ask if somethings bothering him. Let him know you notice a difference but have no idea if he's just in a mood or if you specifically did something to upset him. Know what I mean? Like, "Hey - you alright? Are you upset at me for something?" That'll call him out right away and put the ball in his court ...... what'd ya think?

no - its only been one day? yeh? you called her sunday you said? let her get your message and call you back. I guarantee you if you were to call her again all bets would be off......

welcome to ENA jhamp!! - I too am glad you found this site. I really feel for you. I'll try to give you the courtesy I would if you were my sister or close friend. I would never tell anyone its time to give up. i imagine there are things you and your husband could do to work things out. One thing that will be hard to overcome is all the resentment and lost love you said you have. I totally understand WHY you have those feelings - if anyone, let alone my husband - ever talked to me the way you said your husband has talked to you, I would......well, I guess I would...Feel really bad about myself, second guess my own decisions, feel less important and resent the person making me feel that way. It is my opinion that something extreme is what it may actually take to wake your husband up enough to even consider working on the issues in your marriage. Something like another guy, moving out.... I don't think you should begin seeing someone else whilst you're still married, but now that your husband knows the possibility is there....maybe you two could be a bit more serious with your counseling. If it comes to it, are you prepared to leave? Or would he move out?

John - we are saying that you MAY need to masturbate MORE often. More masturbation IS the reccommended excercise. If the thing NEVER gets touched, when it does, its going to be soooo happy, it'll orgasm right away. You need to build up a tolerance, so to speak. Touch it more....

oh - got cha..... I was just saying add a day every week.......