Hello ~ it is nice to find this forum. I female, 44 and have been married for 20 years. My marriage has slowly broken down over the years and I am at a point where I feel the need to separate. My husband and I have grown apart, and because of things that have been said and done, I have felt distant and "numb" for a long time. We are currently in counseling which is really not going too well. We have two children 15 and 11.
I feel that I have worked on this marriage for a long time, and I am finished trying. Whenever I would voice my concerns over things that have bothered me with our relationship, my husband would walk away, roll his eyes, call me "insane", tell me I need to be on medication, and would basically belittle my feelings, to avoid having to deal with anything. I have been called a "failure" in dealing with our adhd son, I have been called a bad mother (which anyone will tell you is not true), I have been called boring, have been told I have a fake smile, no sense of humor... the list goes on. These things have been very hurtful and I have had a hard time forgiving such behavior. My husband has spent our marriage telling me how I should feel, and takes it upon himself, to decide what is important to me. He has not taken our relationship seriously, and is more interested in becoming "father of the year", and touting how great he is. Parenting is a big contest to him, and he often undermines my authority and my decisions. Instead of supporting me, when times are bad, he yells at me telling me I "can't handle it" and "this is your job, you signed up for it" when he doesn't want to deal with our kids. He has trashed me as a person in front of the kids and told them that I am a bad mother, and that I am giving up on the family, and running away from my problems (because I mentioned separation). Getting our children involved in this, has been inexcusable.
I have put up with this for a long time, I have grown distant, and depressed. I do not feel any love for this man, only hatred. As of late, there is someone else who has taken a great interest in me (male) and my husband is aware of it. NOW, all of a sudden, my husband claims he has had an "epiphany" and wants to work on our marriage and he is begging me not to leave him. Telling me he loves me, and he is now ready to give me what I deserve. Am I wrong to be insulted by this? Why didn't I deserve this before??? Its almost too little too late.....