AwdreeHpburn

Is there a cultural difference as well?

HEY Borntoresist!!! Congrats again and great idea for a thread!! One thing I thought of is: if one will be nursing...nursing pads and the lotion for that area - Lanisinoh Lanolin that's the best kind I've found

I hate it when someone says what I was gonna say FIRST cos then I just look like a parrot. Marriage is ALL about compromise. If you can't think of your spouse as you would yourself, then there is no point to being in a joint relationship. HOWEVER - they have to be able to do that as well.... and if they are able to ask their lover to give up the pets they know are loved so very much, there are others issues there. thanks Daks....pptthhh (j/k)

True enuff - it was you who was trying to justify it. I was just trying to clarify. So............what should be the MAJOR concerns then?

insecure - you have an icredible and heavy choice to make. We all do - DAILY. But YOU also have a responsibility to someone besides yourself. I'm not saying that to make you feel pressure, I'm trying to take some off. You have NO idea how much what you do and what you WILL do will affect your child. Now and every single day of that child's life. Even if you're not here. Esp if you're not here. Samuari do not commit suicide because they are unhappy or uncomfortable with a situation. First of all that was a much different culture. Their's was based very heavily on honour. If they were disgraced or dishonoured for having done something that their culture frowned on, they would cowardly and disgracefully bough out. It was not an act of courage. It was the only way they felt they could redeem themselves. This is NOT the case for you and even if it were, you are not a Samuari so they same rules do not apply. Your son needs to know that he can rely on his parents to be there for him. It doesn't matter if you are there for his mother - as far as he's concerned - but you need to be there for him. Can you imagine HIM feeling this way someday. Feeling like he just wants to end it all - like his dad did?

Wow....what a perspective astaro! OP is off line right now and I am really concerned.

Oh I'm totally addicted GFein - but I would certainly welcome a vacation! But I too used to work in media - which makes it all the more difficult because you get so addicted to not only knowing what's going on, but seeking out what's going on. And that also makes any vacation all the more appreciated........

kind of harsh - but may be needed.......

I would kill or die for some of that ever elusive and seemingly non-existant ALONE time thing.

Amen brother

well - I do have to say astaro - just the fact that you feel badly and that you're concerned as all is a good sign that you're human. Things will get better.....hang in there.

maybe you could talk to her and get her to understand why you don't want him to drink anyway. Maybe he would take it better coming from her??

do you know his mother well at all?

insecure - can I ask you something? canI ask you to DO something?

My brain is too logical - apparently - to see how this makes sense. And I really DON'T mean this in a combative or confrontational way. Plunging into an unknown situation doesn't at all sound like the defintion of bravery to me at all. In fact, accroding to Dictionary dot com - . Bravery is defined as "brave spirit or conduct; courage; valor" Seems like some one who is brave knows exactly what they are getting into and are either not afraid or push thru their fear in an effort to be heroic or in a display of valor. How is ceasing to exist brave? Ending one's own life for the sake of exploration? huh? Or are you saying people will look at the corpse of a suicide victim and say, "now there goes one brave soldier!" How is it that, as you say, "delving into an unknown," completely unprepared - knowledge wise - is anything but....forgive me....stupid? Not brave. If you are saying you're not afraid to quit trying to solve your issues here, you're not afraid to stop existing and having experiences, you're not afraid to leave behind crying loved ones, and you're not afraid to cut the very skin away from your bones or choke the air from your lungs.... then, good job. You're very brave.

Hey astaro - First off - don't be so hard on yourself. Yes it does suck to not have a label for your feelings but I think I know and can relate to what you're saying. Sometimes, there isn't what someone else might call an "acceptable" reason, but it is something you feel, right? You can "feel" that its not working or you just "feel" that she's / its not right for you. That happens. I understand how its difficult because as you said, she's a nice person and likes you so it doesn't seem logical, but it doesn't have to be logical all the time, yeh? They're feelings..... I'm sorry you're sad. I feel for you.......

awwww man! I hope you do!! I just caught this thread and was reading it to the end with anticiaption! Keep us posted for sure O! -T

Yeh - I do this too. When I'm being selfish and uninterested......

I totally agree with EvaGina here! Come on guys. obviously its a bit immature but she's totally not over him. She's sad....pathetic really...I feel bad for her. I wish she would just come clean with the whole thing but maybe she isn't really in touch with her own feelings at all, ya know? Just sort of lashing out in a weird backward attempt to get him jealous? Don't fall fer it, I say, but don't be too hard on her either. She's obviously sad.

I think its over the top annoying and actually quite rude that she does that - to be honest.

Hey dl - I think you should just tell her when you feel it. Bad timing really sucks - not doubt about that. But you can't go on any longer misleading her. Not that you're doing that intentionally - but were you to wait, that's what you would be doing. Just tell her. Tell her you don't feel for her romantically. Apologise, not because you're wrong, but because you feel bad. Say you're sorry for the timing but you didn't think it was fair to keep it from her anymore. You can ask for friendship and tell her how much having her friendship would mean to you, but don't expect it........ best of luck to you! I'm sorry for your predicamnet!

Hey Kev - First off....I don't know that there is a uniform or unanimous (sp?) way women show interest so that part of your question is going to be difficult for anyone to answer. As for the particular girl in question.....take a deep breath and say hello to her. Take it slowly as you said you're uncomfortable, but just....well.......as Nike would say....JUST DO IT! Throw caution to the wind. Take a chance.

I don't mean to be disrespectful here, but can you explain how making the choice to not confront a problem is brave? I agree that completing the actual task is not easy and thereforeeee can't be called "the easy" way out, but the bravest thing you can do? How so?

I sincerely doubt she'll hate you by any stretch of the imagination. I'm sure she just assumed you don't know each other so neither of you knew what to say. Remember, she didn't say anything to you either. She may be thinking the EXACT same thing you are. Next time, be sure and say at LEAST Hello!