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danylion

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Everything posted by danylion

  1. danylion
    don't obsess over it, it has nothing to do with you I'm afraid. Tough I know but you need to think about YOUR next step to progress. Move on, he has.
  2. danylion
    Thanks. You're all right! Of course I appreciate their care, I love them for that. I just needed to rant on here, thats awful really. I will stop protesting and just laugh it off, let time pass and soon they'll see. All this cos' of a active cat, he is potty! Thank you guys for listening to my moaning, much appreciated. Hope to return the favour. Take care.
  3. danylion
    I knew this would happen! My family and friends have subtley (sp) approached about the scratches on my hands and arms. At first I laughed that they thought I was self harming, I explained it was my cat, he is a player and when he is up high he likes play on the curtains. Its funny, yeah he catches me once or twice but no behaviour issues. I have stopped playing with him now just to prove but he scratched me again the other day. My friend said she knew someone at school who self harmed and that she got help. She's close to my sister which rang and again skirted round the topic! I just can't believe this and that they won't believe it's my mog! It's so crazy, just had to tell someone who believes me. Please I do not mean any offence to anyone who suffers from self harm and I am not making a joke of it. I just wanted advice on how to make someone see sense. Maybe this is really too silly but it's so frustrating! (I have never done it in the past)
  4. danylion
    I second that, beautiful. I can totally relate to the fear and how it dominates but your interpretation through the poem has made it a positive thing that you are learning from and that's brave....lessons in love eh! Thanks for posting it.
  5. danylion
    I am going through the same thing. My boyfriend broke it off and then a month later we got back together but I too am feeling insecure remembering what it was like to loose him. Through this fear, I feel very needy too, its so hard to shake and gain control. However, bksun is spot on and that is the advice I am trying to follow. You must try to think of it as a new relationship. I feel It is so much harder reworking an old relationship that starting again but its worth it. Just dont be too hard on your self, take it easy and try not to over analyse. Best of luck and well done for getting where you are today. Hugs
  6. danylion
    I'll keep it short too.....tell her.
  7. danylion
    Im afraid talking is the only solution, either to him or for now, just for you. What you are doing today is positive, you have decided you are not happy with this side of him and you are talking about it. As scout said that is what enot is all about. No big solutions straight away but maybe ti will help to build up your faith in your self and make you more positive about dealing with things. whatever you decide to do, confront it or carry on. No one will judge you sweet heart, we don't have the right.
  8. danylion
    maplesyrup, I think you have answered your own question. You know within yourself that the situation is not right but you looked to this site for strangers to validate it or at least give ideas on how to deal with it. However I believe that you wont deal with it because you dont think you're worth it and that it will anger him. All I can say is have a little faith in your self and all this stuff about lights, well i don't know about that but if he loves you then he'll understand. You are worth so much and he is lucky to have your care just as you think you are to have his. Try it you might like it.
  9. danylion
    asking people to accept is asking to them agree and the majority don't. Sorry but you are not happy, you are sore from trying to please his needs!! What about yours. The reason why he does'nt bother to erase the history (all men and girls know how to do it and girls) is because he doesn't care, he thinks its acceptable. Tell him its not acceptable, but if you are scared of change or what might happen if you speak up then just remain the same. You need to tell him, like I said before, tell him how you really feel. Print your thread out and give it to him if you can't say it face to face. Sorry if its not what you wanted to hear. Good luck
  10. danylion
    I can totally relate to you! Please dont worry about it, the idea of celebrating it again this weekend is a great idea, make light of it and all will be forgotten. Trying not to be too graphic, but I had alot of problems due to birth control and my boyf deserves a medal but he understands because he knows its human nature. Boys get them too anyway so to speak! As long a you keep talking it through, so he knows its not because of him and will be fine. Pls don't be so hard on your self hon and happy Vday for this weekend (belated) x
  11. danylion
    I agree with scout, I think if he stopped the porn MS would be happy. Im sorry but I think you are trying to accommodate him and he's taken that for granted. By letting him know how you REALLY feel, this does not make you a prude it makes you normal and his relationship with porn is not normal. He would not like you looking at men 6hrs a day. Can I add I appreciate that men have needs as do women and its FINE to want to do it on your own in a cheeky moment or together but locking you out is sending out a negative vibe. It seems he has a habit which he's now comfortable with and you are the one working on the relationship for you both.
  12. danylion
    Hi! Make ups after break ups do happen but the thing that changes it all is one person playing the field so soon, it causes trust problems. Your feelings about her having another, could you get through that? You seem to be doing all the mature thinking here. RE her drugs experiences, It is expected to go out and let your hair down but it does seem she has some issues and it will be up to you to sort them like the car etc. not being harsh, you seem strong right know and its not easy getting there...going back could equal more pain. Just my opinion, hope ur ok. Take care ok
  13. danylion
    yes but really you have no choice....to be honest! It is the best way, like grieving. I can promise that you won't always feel like this. I know its so very sad right now and still so raw, break ups are so horrible. I hate them! You are doing the right thing, Take care
  14. danylion
    believe me there is someone out there, lots in fact. There is a whole lot of experience to be had. You can do what you want and You are sounding stronger already, use this site whenever you feel out of water, its helped me so much.
  15. danylion
    Very true!!
  16. danylion
    tough situation, you need to build your trust and move on now. Remember that you two were not together at the time when this happened and if you are serious about making it work you must try to deal with it or it will turn it to bitterness and you will end up resenting her and seriously jepardize the relationship. If you can try to to see the relationship as a new start, fresh blank page. She probably feels awful that you found out and knows that you are angry right now. She probably doesn't want to get in to all the detail as she scared of loosing you all over again. more calm and careful communication is needed now. I am sure you have thousands of questions in your head, just try to be patient. You know her best and you love her, also put yourself in her place and how would you deal with it if she found out that you had done this. Its a real test this situation, Im sure your love is strong enough to cope....learning curves eh! I hope you guys get through this. Take care
  17. danylion
    Im sorry you're going through this, it is an awful time an especially hard at this time of year. Don't feel bad about contacting him everyone does it and you have been very brave. I have been in a similar situation before except the new girlfriend was a a family friend so it was very much in my face. It was, as Im sure you know a real blow and very painful but it does push you to move on and face reality,a harsh push I know. You will become stronger and feel that you have learnt from your time with each other and that you will know exactly what you want from a future relationship, when you're ready. ( also what you don't want ) Take this time to grieve and heal from the relationship, make yourself the No1 priority, pamper yourself and tell yourself you did the best you could and you're a better person, cos you are sweetheart. I am sure he has issues and they won't disappear simply because you both broke up and he's with another, they will be there in his new relationship so don't think its all hearts and flowers. At the end of the day its a rebound relationship for him, both the dumper and the dumpee need to grieve properly and equally. Stay postive, I know its easier said than done. Surround yourself with loved ones and its a new year so a fresh start. Above all you have clarity now, of course no one knows what may happen just concentrate on you. Be strong and take care and don't keep it all in. (((big hug)))
  18. danylion
    I joined this forum when my boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me. I look in from tome to time to see how some are getting on or if I can help. I won't go into all the details of the break up but he basically got the fear. He was worried that I wanted marriage, kids, house etc and kinda bolted with tears. However during our time apart he realised it was actually him that wanted these things. That is why it is important to get space from each other to think about what you really want on both sides. Hence why so many are in favour of no contact or very little (of course people with property and children, even pets need to keep in contact). Time apart was very important, I have great respect for that. Anyway, I was in shock but bowed out gracefully, I probably should have fought more but I wanted him to realise on his own what he was ending. I f he didn't know now then he never will. He moved out and didnt see me for 2 months, there was a couple of times as we shared a flat. I remained calm, and simply said how sad it was, I still loved him but that I respect that he needed to go. Luckily he realised he had made a mistake and we worked it out. We are not living together and have been taken things very slowly. I think it is harder to restart with your ex than find someone new. You have to forget about the break up, forgive each other and become equal otherwise any bitterness could ruin it. Trust is a massive factor and the love you have will help build it. Once you start this process and get over the first hurdle you will be stronger than ever. Every one is different and there are no right or wrongs in concerns to getting back with an ex. There are success stories as there are failed ones. My sister left her BF and then realised she had made the biggest mistake BUT she is glad she did because it made her realise what a diamond she had and that is why they are to be married in sept. I'll be there as head bridesmaid and it will be the best day. All in all I suppose in some break ups you have to loose something in order to realise how important it is. The lucky ones are those who get a 2nd chance and get it back. My opinion, take care 2 all u enots.
  19. danylion
    I did that because I thought it be the best thing in theory but I knew it was wrong because i didn't fancy him, it just didn't feel right before, during or after! It didn't work! Be honest with yourself and go with Your gut instinct, say no. Don't do it as you may regret it when you find someone you are attracted to. Good luck
  20. danylion
    I'd say he has done you a favour sweetheart. Sorry that you are feeling pain but take this time to improve your self esteem, being in an abusive relationship will have reduced it and thereforeeee you will be more dependent on him and subsequently feel like you need him more than ever. Stay away from him and listen to your friends, resatablish yourself. This man hit you and that is not ok, its totally wrong. Good luck look after no1, you!
  21. danylion
    has he stressed that he'd like to do this too? If you are both 100% fine with it then ok, BUT imagine how seeing him having sex with another girl would make you feel? Some are ok and find it a turn on, I couldn't share the one I love in the bedroom dept, its a very personal kind of intamacy. MY opinion. Best talk first rather than surprise him. Intresting thread though! =O)
  22. danylion
    wow and i thought once a day was frequent! does anyone work lol I have to say its quality not quantity and I agree about finding someone you click sexually with and at the end of the day, just ask them!
  23. danylion
    good analogy coolsome! now get dancing!
  24. danylion
    take it slow, she still gageing if she can trust you. Take Little steps, she knows you like her and regret your actions (you have apologised for flirting, I take it?) and its only been a few dates. She needs you to know what is at stake, its called appreciating what you've got. It will be worth it. I was in her situation and getting back together after a break up takes alot of patience especially if you were being flirtatious. She needs to know you are taking it seriously. It sounds like this girl is very important to you and you say you love her so I know you'll do what ever it takes. Let her lead, its just a little delicate right now because its special to you. Good luck and remember only you know how you feel. Take care!
  25. danylion
    I hope not, I think its me wanting to be in control after the break up but now he is planning for our future and I deep down I do want to live with him again. But I did say I wasnt ready, so he is saving maoney by living at work so he can prove how serious he is about our future.
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