danylion

...and I thought the interview was hard! I just didn't realise I would be so affected, I was so blaze about the whole process and now I am so nervous! Thank you, I will watch out for anything top shelf includung the babes! Again, thank you.

I have been at my present job for 5 years and it is my last day today. I start at my new company on monday and I am very nervous, the role is the same but the company is much larger about 3 time larger. The role is office manager and I just hope I handle the size switch. I am also worried about getting used to all the equipment.... I guess I am just stressing about it all! I will be working with al lot of women in an open plan floor, where as before I was in the studio with mostly men and I hope there won't a problem. I think it is more the change as I was with my present company for so long and I had fallen into the comfort zone. I am looking forward to more respoonsibility and I hope I can handle it and improve. Any advice would be greatly appreciated, Fingers crossed!

Oh my, I just saw his brother at lunchtime in soho, he works near by. He was really vague and couldn't wait to get away, we get on really well and always have great chats. (we all went away two weeks ago and had a wonderful time). He was so uncomfortable, I know he knows and just wanted to get out of there. I was really hoping that he hadn't said anything to him but it's obvious, which freaks me even more (he wouldn't say anything to his bro about us so it's a bad sigh....oh hell!) I know i'm sounding crazy but I love this man and I feel ripped apart and scared. I wasn't prepared for this at all, I don't think I can do this, I must try to keep on top of it. I havn't heard from him today about when we are going to talk. Oh god I wish I was stronger. It's so crazy...I can't believe Im feeling so stressed, But there is alot of good advice in this forum, some of you guys much be therapists or definitely should be. I want to contact him, should I.......I just don't know?

thank you, it really helps to get feedback, you know when you're feeling at your lowest. Deep breaths I suppose.

I have been posting through this week after an argument with my boyfriend of nearly 3 years. The argument was petty but he was so mad and froze me out. I now know that he is really stressed at work and that he can't handle any relationship problems and can't go on. He said we'll talk properly at the weekend, I suppose to finalise the relationship. He is going away for a month on the 15th to Panama so I guess he thinks he might as well do it now rather than having it hanging over his head. Of course he is sorry and said the usual, it's just a bad time in my life, too much going on. I have always been there for him but he never made it obvious he was under so much pressure, if he'd just said. I am also thinking that he has been feeling like this for a while and I am know its not just the pressure of work and obviously the relationship is troubling him. I just can't understand as we have been really happy and planning our trip to Bali in October. He is quite moody after a row but he never leaves it this long and we do call each other, this is how I knew it was something more serious. I am dreading the break up chat and I almost want to text him and say don't bother I know what is coming but deep down I need to hear the truth no matter how much it hurts. I so desparately want to tell him I love and care for him but he's asked for space so I am respecting that. I am a bit of a mess, all sorts going through my head trying to stay calm and deal with the extremeness of this situation. I can't concentrate on anything else and keep thinking about him, I miss him. I know no one has the answer I just need to tell someone with out feeling like I am going mental or sounding paranoid and nurotic. Thanks for reading, all of you x

I am cra* at waiting but he is obviously stressed out. He did reply an hour ago saying he had so much stress at work and he has to prepare for his trip to Panama, he is studying frogs and snakes. I didn't realise he was that stressed, he never mentioned it to me, actually I assumed he was looking forward to it. I think he's nervous but he'd never admit that. he claims that 'people' are being unhelpful, I am assume that includes me. The bottom line is he doesn't want to speak to me now he said we'd speak at the weekend if he gets everything done. It seems to from his text that I am adding to the stress. Any way it doesn't look good, I am upset that he is leaving it to the weekend. I replied ok and that I would back off, I said I regretted the stupid row and that I didn't realise he was under stress. He knows Im worried about us and chooses to leave me in limbo, this upsets me, I don't know how he can be so black and white. This all seems so pointless but he feels i am unsympathetic, I worry he'll come to the conclusion that he can't deal with a relationship a the moment and just end it then go accross the world!

Ok I'll try I think he would say that I am not being helpful towards him and that me doing things like slamming down the phone infuriates him. I am sure he will say that he is stressed out because of work its very busy and he has to go away in two weeks. That everything is up in the air and he doesn't need me to throw a strop. He won't think that he deserved the phone slammed on him and that he didn't want an argument as its a stressful time. I think he thinks that I will add to the stress. I am aware of his stresses but sometimes in the heat of the moment this happens but he is just so black and white! I hoped he would share the stress with me but he doesn't seem to want to. There is no give, he is like thats it, cut off! I just want to clear a bad situation, say it was silly and I'm there for you.

I had a stupid argument with my boyfriend on tuesday about booking a dinner reservation, . I put the phone down on him because he was shouting at me and I was at work. Yes I know it was immature but he was so mad at me and has ignored me since. I tried to call later to resolve the bad vibes but he would not pick up the phone and there is only so much you can text! I can't believe he still hasn't called, I decided to play him at his own game as I always contact him but I have a really bad feeling that this is so much more to this and I am going crazy (probably his plan). I thought we were happy, however he always gets in moods and is diffilcult after and he knows it bothers me and I have aked him not to do it. The thing is we never fight over anything big. I do worry as he does keep it all inside. After people telling me to leave it for a while, let him cool. So I did, but after 2 days I have texted him to say that we should talk. He has not replied, I feel really horrible and have that just been dumped, sick feeling. It just seems so unfair as Its obviously not just because I slammed the phone down yet he won't allow me an explaination. How can someone who tells me he loves me on monday just totally ignore me. I feel stupid for texting but I wanted to stop the games and just know where I stand. Any advice on moody men would be greatly appreciated! I hate the ignoring game, who's gonna crack first, jeeze we can be so cruel to each other! Thanks X

Just spoke to him at his work. I had to call him to confirm the booking, my sister had made it but she couldn't get through to him (she worked till 2am this morning and has other things to do), she was shocked at the situation and couldn't believe he is being so pathetic. I felt ashamed of him and apologised for his behaviour. I was very matter of fact to him on the phone but polite, I didn't want to speak to him, I think he would have talked but I did not want to. I am seriously considering our relationship now, I have never broken down a relationship before but the rudeness towards myself and my sister just can't be tolerated. Also now my sister will have a changed opinion of him, unless he apologises to her. I seriously doubt that will ever happen, seeing as he can't even apologise to me. I didn't want to call him but I didn't want to have to involve my sister anymore in this embarrassing charade. I think I allowed his moodiness in the past as it just involved us but this is not about us and thats what makes it so rediculous but I can't let it go. I would be lying to myself. Arrrgh, am I just weak!

thank you, and i will keep posting, it keeps me from stressing too much.

just to add we don't often have petty fights, its usually him getting into a mood and becoming quiet and with drawn. He's not very good at showing his feelings, very proud. He'd rather hole up, but that's the opposite to me.

I just can't believe how childish this is and I know he will cool down and think I am over reacting to this. Make himself look better by shrugging it off, I need to make him see that I won't tolerate this. How do I make him listen, do men really listen to women after a fight? We have been together 2 and a half years, but he gets stroppy when I defy him or act more independently, like go out with the girls. I suppose its jealousy?! You're right I worry that its more than this, who would react so on such a tiff? He oftens uses the excuse that he's frustrated if he hasn't had sex for over 3 days. Reading this I know I have to re-asses this relationship, I need the days apart to think. I can't reply to that text, I'm disgusted by it, really upset. My sister works so hard and he's acting like she gone out to make a fool of him. She will call him today and confirm the reservation and he will feel some guilt I am sure. I can't tell my sister as I am too embarrassed of his behaviour. Shocking! thank ilse, i really appreciate your reply

I can't believe this he just texted to me ....."Thanks alot you and your sister made me look like a right C**T in front of my flatmate/colleague, brilliant. can't wait to return the favour." I am stunned and this is my boyfriend!

no that is all wrong. Men I know don't feel that way at all about their sisters and would freak if they saw their breasts. curiosity at 13 is fine but jerking off, mme not sure. But to talk about it openly in his 40's, i feel that is not right.

thanks dragon, Yes he does, he is very stubborn and doesn't like to be told or cut short. I am not going to call him, I just can't believe this is my botfriend and I am going out with someone who behaves like this! I am scared that if this continues it will be our downfall. To Momene, I did apologise, I said it was in the heat of the moment but he wouldn't take my call so I had to do it via text. I believe we are entitled to make mistakes but you show some give specially if someone is attempting to better a bad situation . Maybe its because I apologise, he knows he can get away with it!

yes, I understand that but does it warrant the silent treatment and what he was doing, shouting down the phone when I am at work about something beyond my control, I find rude and irritating. Does your wife apologise?

Hello! I Had a stupid fight with my boyfriend and I put the phone down on him. I am aware that all this is already sounding immature and rather pathetic but things have kind of come to a point and I am left thinking is he over reacting or am I just paranoid? Either way I feel really cra* and a little confused. the story is, He rings and I am at work as starts getting all fired up because he can't get in contact with my sister who was making a dinner reservation for him (a favour to his work colleague). He is all angry and wants to know why my sister isn't answering the phone (she is a chef and never has her phone, I say this), basically he's taking it out on me. Also he is mad that I wasn't at my desk earlier in the day ( I had an appt over lunch). So I assume he's been frustrated by this all day so when he finally gets hold of someone, being me, he lets rip! I explained that the I could not help with the reservation or get in contact with my sister who's doing this favour (I had also tried and left polite messages for her to call back). To be honest he only told her the day before, I think I riled him by saying that it had been left till the last minute which caused him to have a right go at me. I am thinking I am not going to have this conversation at my work desk and that it really has nothing to do with me, I say "don't speak to me like that" he keeps on so I put down the phone. Instantly I think that was an immature thing to do and I regretted it. However I thought I would give him time to cool, I fear I have made things worse. The problem is if he gets really angry he won't talk to me for two days after, or more. We were supposed to be going to a BBQ that night but he made it clear that because I slammed down the phone I was no longer welcome, via text. I suppose he rationalises it by thinking if I behave like a child then he will treat me like one! I know that putting the phone down on someone is wrong and I admitted that via a text but it shouldn't let this situation become a dark cloud and ruin an evening. However he is incredibly stubborn and prolongs the silent treatment. I just feel he is being OTT and his habit of ignoring me as punishment really winds me up how can you approach someone to resolve a bad and unnecessary situation when they won't even pick up their phone! sorry if this post seems petty, I'm sure you're thinking get over it! It's just this always happens if we argue and it truly annoys me and really makes me upset. I can't believe that this person is supposed to love me but can act so harsh for a length of time over a stupid phone call or fight. I just thought if this happens again I need to talk and get some advice on how to deal with it. He knows that the silent treatment winds me and I am the one who makes contact. I'm not going to contact him, but I just feel pathetic playing these games but maybe I need to. I Hope this makes sense and big thanks, this place gives such great advice, it's really comforting.

You must stop all contact with him, get rid off his numbers etc or block his number. Explain to him that you are doing this because you don't want to be messed around anymore. It was ok at the start but you want more for yourself and to move on and if he isn't prepared to do this with you or want the same thing then there is no point in continuing the casual sex. You have to be honest with yourself, the sex is not enough and you want more, If he doesn't then move on. As for the fear of missing out, well, you are missing out on having a lovin relationship more to the point. You deserve so much more than this man is giving you. Dont let him get away with this any longer. You need to be brave and take control of your life and start living how you want. You will be so much happier and meet someone who appreciates you equally and respects you. Hope this wasn't too bold. Good luck and be strong!!!!

The comment about going to look at younger skinny women is really dis-respectful and strikes a warning chord in me. It is almost like he is trying make you feel insecure. That is just cruel! For what its worth strippers are fine for bachelors/hens/birthdays but thats it. The only regular real naked women in his life should be you, his partner. Im not a prude I am just being honest and realistic.

Phew, thankgod for that..............CONGRATS TO YOU!!!!!!!

i am in your gf position, a little futher on. My BF decided to end our relationship and then realised it was a mistake, I was massively aware of everything and very dubious about going back. You have to give her time and just tell her you are serious and that you will wait, that is all you can do. If you do get back together don't rest on your laurels, thats when you have to work the most. It is hard but as said above, actions speak louder. Prove that you mean it, not just a few months but for good. If you are not seeing as much of her at the moment then respect that. Use the time to think about what you want out of the future long term, she will want some answers along the line if you make another go of the relationship. Be strong as she will need to see that you are sincere. Good luck PS Just a question was there anyone else involed and if so does she know?

Im am so sorry that you are going through this, my heart goes out to you at this truly difficult time. Firstly, the feelings and emotions you have described are normal. I myself Have not been married but I have been cheated on. The reasons he is giving you are immature because it is him who is feeling guilty because he cheated on you. He doesnt want to think about it too much and is probably putting his head in the sand by replacing you so quickly. It is a real shame that he could not have devoted more time in making your marriage work and obviously took the easy option, which he will soon regret but will probably be too late. You sound like you are an intelligent young woman and I am sure you realise the pathetic element to his bahaviour. My ex while he was cheating on me towards the end used to pick at me because I was bad at tennis amongst other little comments....grow up! For now you have to ignore these comments and excuses unless they are more constructive in the future and help both of you to move on whether it be together or apart. As im sure you know, It is a really hard time right now, just concentrate on you and rebuilding your wellbeing and life. It is scary, bloody scary but stay strong and don't blame yourself...not anymore, its a waste of time. after all a marriage does take two. Keep loggong on here and telling us how your getting on if it helps, there are always people ready to help and care. Above all, I hope you'll be ok sweetheart. Take care

hello. My ex went out with my sister after I broke it off to go to University in London. It was a horrible situation because he liked both of us, one more than the other but ultimately he liked us both. It was not right and I found it very strange to be around them when I returned for the holidays. We all used to hang out when we were origionally dating, that stopped. My father and family, who also knew the man in question as a friend before he dated us both was not happy with the fact that he went from one of his daughters to another. Although I gave my sister my blessing, I was very weary for her as he was still writting to me, trying to be "friends", it was to weird and he was trying to hard to keep the situation like it was before. It was not the same. However, If you are 100% sure you are doing this for the right reasons and are willing to accept a change within the circle, the ex may not want to hang around. Also it may cause hostility within the family. then and only then consider it. Then if you are sure I would wait a bit and form a relationship with the sister you like on her own, not as a group thats confusing things. Hell, it is a very mixed up situation, I hated being part of my experience. Maybe they'll be cool and go for it but Just think how would you feel if it was your daughters or sisters? Tricky!

I have this problem within my ralationship which is really unsettling. My boyfriend and I used to live together but he moved out, we had a month break then he realised that he had made a huge mistake, he acts on impulse and gets very deep easily, becomes inward. We got back together, which is great and I feel 100% about it. So we got back together but continued to stay in our separate flats, because his was with work and rent free and i filled his room, so we were actually making money. We agreed this was good so we could save to buy....a real progress and I was happy with this, so we see each on average 5 days a week. When we are together he is wonderful and we never argue, we have a healthy sex life. But here's the thing that really niggles me, if he has to go home (part of his job is to work nights at home) and if he calls me and I am out with a friend having a coffee, he gets moody and ignores my later calls. He becomes quiet and his text are simmple yes, no or the worst not sure, I'll let you know! If i am late or cant meet him after we have been apart for one day, he wont want to speak to me, even if I have a valid reason like my sister's brdal fitting went on longer or I am sick. For example this weekend he had to work so there was no point in staying at mine (his choice) also my younger sister was over on saturday as we were going out. As soon as he found out that we had gone out drinking with family friends and flatmates, the next day he was like...."i'll call you later"....he did'nt so I did. So I call like all is normal, trying not to pay attention. I say "how are you, will I see you tomorrow and he's all vague, maybe and maybe not. I know full well he's free and wants to see me. I know he is pissed that if we are not together as he knows I may go out with my girlfriends and not stay at home. To be honest that is the time i get to see my girlfriends as we all have BF's so its good to go to gigs and dinner without the boys. I am getting used to his hot cold behaviour and I even thought maybe I should just lie and say yes I am staying in and getting an early night. I can't believe I am even thinking of fibbing to him. I know he is insecure as we did break up and we are used to living together, it is hard now but he has to stay where he lives for his job. I would love to live together and it is his decision to save....but this attitude worries me, I don't want to be kept under love and key. Its almost like he is jealous....but of what I don't know. Also I feel like he knows this mental torture works, so he does it to punish me, keep me hanging on. He knows I hate to see people unhappy or down and I itch to help them. I am a fixer, he knows it bothers me when he's all quiet and moody. This time its really getting to me and i am not going to rise to the bait, he'll have to talk to me, I really want him to talk to me. I fear he wont approach me as a conversation as that means admitting that he is affected when he's not with me and well thats not very manly, silly but he's very proun and equally stubborn...a very frustrating combo. .....but then we are just playing games, why can't I just get a straight answer= why are you doing this to me? Any help or if someone has experienced similar problems in a relationship. I don't really know what I am expecting, I just had to stop myself from texting him and saying 'are you Ok, have I done somthing wrong"....like he's expecting. Cheers guys for taking the time to have a gander at my post

you are not boring your friends, I know you are over analysing everything at the moment. you have had a blow to your confidence and general being. That is natural, keep talking better out then in (not to him though, or his friends). You can talk as much as you like on here, anytime! I agree about the blog thing, I have only hear negative feedback re blog and my space. I have never used them. It is really important for you to heal yourself and that means not seeing him or logging on to find out what he is up to etc.....if you do this you will remain in a rhutt. When i had to adjust to my ex with a new partner i just stayed well away, I knew I would say something I'd regret. The best thing I did was vent my feelings on here, people listened and understaood and bit by bit I thought about him less and less. Remember go easy on yourself, its you we are here for. Take it easy sweet heart.