dlkozy1975

I hear what you are saying but I think that it's another lame excuse by the male gender. My situation is a little different - he married me. There was no double life - all the things he says I didn't like to do - I did and we did do them together, took trips and everything - I just didn't have to do them 24-7 to feel satisfied. He did. Everyone is different in many ways. Obviously you took the time to get to really know her. And that's exactly what I have to keep telling myself. He should've never asked me to be his wife if he had any inclination then that I wasn't the person he wanted me to be - don't mess with people's lives like that. It is not a game!

Thanks for the positive comments - it really does help. He claims even to this day that they are only friends and she was just trying to help him out by letting him "Crash on her couch". I may be blonde and polish but I am not stupid. I don't believe that for one minute. Especially knowing what kind of person this girl is. The funny part is that he works with this girl. I am now finding out little details like she has been coming around our home and hanging out in his office since last fall. I feel so stupid and blind. Was I living in a fantasy world?

I know he's immature and I wish I would have stayed with my initial gutt feeling about him the very first time I met him, 4 1/2 years prior to our first date. His cousin tried to set us up and I told her that I wasn't interested that he seemed like an immature punk. I know I can't erase the past 6 years - but sometimes I wish it was like the Staples commercials and I had an "Easy" button.

I am new to this site and I have found it very helpful! Thanks! Although, I am having an extremely difficult time trying to convince myself that the failure of my marriage is not my fault. We dated for 3 years and have been married for 2 1/2 years, and two months ago he left. One week later he moved in with the replacement. When I have talked to him - he lays the blame on me. Using lame excuses like I misrepresented myself to him - I don't like 4-wheeling and motorcycling as much as I claimed I did. (Is that the most immature thing you have ever heard?) I know these are just attempts to make him feel better about himself and make me feel guilty. In front of him - I am strong and tell him that he's just trying to find anything to justify what he's done to me. But when I am home alone that's all I can think about. Was there something that I couldv'e done to keep him around? I really hate the fact that he has can make me feel this bad about myself. I know deep down inside that no matter what he says about the demise of our relationship, there is nothing that justifies in my eyes the fact that he cheated and has been living with this lie for the last 6 months or so. I took my marriage vows seriously and obviously he didn't. I am bothered by this - I feel like our whole relationship was just one big fat lie. Are these feelings and thoughts normal?