Jump to content

aug104evr

Members
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Posts

    24

  • Joined

 Content Type 

Everything posted by aug104evr

  1. aug104evr
    Thanks everyone for all the advice. I really want to tell my son the older one because he always feels hurt when left out of family issues. When he caught me & my ex in an awkward position ( used by animals ) I said we were naked wrestling. When he was about 7 I gave him a book on sex for his age range. The only thing he had to say was, " You lied about the naked wrestling". He was upset that I hadn't told him the truth. But he was only 4 at the time and I was caught off guard. I am going to tell them but I really need to talk to the ex. He's a scorpio & polish ( no offense to polish people). I don't think this will go over very well w/ him but his 1st cousin was gay and died of AIDS. The kids knew that Harry had a disease & we still showed the kids not to be afraid of him. I am going to need all the ammuntion I can get to support me. I am going to read as many books as I can get my hands on both for me & the ex. I let you know how it goes
  2. aug104evr
    Hi everyone! I haven't been around in awhile b/c I've been working on getting things together. I think I'm almost at the point where I can tell the kids that Jo is my girlfriend. I just got back from the parent/teacher conference and they are doing great in school. Of course my soon to be ex whom they don't live with took all the credit for that!! I have been trying to get our home life together for 4 months now that I've quit my job. 2 people working 6 to 7 days a week you can imagine how bad things got. But now I'm getting things under control and have been thinking about telling Jr 11 1/2 who is so smart it scares me. Smart but still of course naive. Jo and I do share a bed but they have never seen us kiss or anything. And Marie is 7 and starting to ask sex questions. I don't want to scar them or screw them up but I feel it should come from me. They adore Jo and their dad knows about us and they are ok with each other. But I think Jeff will give me a hard time about telling them. I want to have a good christmas this year but I am so tired of having to watch my back when I give Jo a kiss. I'm not talking about making out in front of them but smooches here and there. I would definitaly look into counseling for them. Any advice from someone who's been the parent or the child or the girlfriend would be appreciated.
  3. aug104evr
    Why do people have to be so mean? Especially to people they once loved? So you fell out of love, does that mean you get to stomp all over them and treat them like caca? I think when you go see your cats you should mess with her now. Go tanning or put on some fake tan, buy a new outfit, get a new hair do. Let her know your moving on and let it seem that breaking up was the best thing she could have done for YOU!! And then don't stop there. (I'm on a roll here!) Be all secretive about everything. Don't mention anything but the basics. My house will be done whenever. How are the cats? Sound all bubbly too. Make her think about you as the woman she fell in love with and let her remember how badly she treated you in the end. Let her know you'll be just fine without maybe even better. GL
  4. aug104evr
    The one thing about being with the same sex is not about us but about everyone else. People say it's a choice to be gay but why would one chose to be disowned, stared at, mocked, made fun of, scare people, lose out on hetro rights and privliges and all that other stuff. I am divorced with 2 wonderful children. Do I want to tell them Mommy is with another woman? NO! Do I want to tell my father that I am with a woman? NO! But do I want to go on the rest of my life, the one life God gave me, on what everyone else wants? NO!! So be happy you've found love because some people never find it. Deal with everything else one day at a time. And when everything seems to be too much, lose yourself in your love. Good Luck
  5. aug104evr
    Is your boyfriend a real boyfriend or just your savior from her? You might not be able to forget about HER because you miss being with a woman. Maybe you should talk to your boyfriend and tell him about your feelings. Tell him you should take time to recover from her on your own. Then decide if you want to get back together with him. You are not going to be happy until you find what's right for you. That's obviously not her but you need space to figure out what you do want. Good luck
  6. aug104evr
    Well one thing for sure you don't want to hurt your friendship by using her as a lab rat. If you kiss her and it doesn't do anything for you then what? You need to tell her "Hey I might be into but I don't know. I'd like to kiss you and go from there". But you need to ask what the consequences will be if she liked it and you didn't. When I fell in love with my girlfriend, she was also my good friend and co-worker. We were drunk and I knew then I wanted to kiss her. She's gay and I was but didn't know it. But instead of having a drunkin episode, I went up to her and told her. I said don't freak out and you have to promise me you won't act weird tomorrow. I made her pinky swear!! The next day she acted normal but I told her I wanted that kiss to go farther and we've been together 2 years. A best friend is okay to experiment with as long as they know what's going on. Good Luck
  7. aug104evr
    HELLO!!! Isn't anyone catching on to what she said? Ok so he's into chunky, that's one thing but the tanning thing says "I'm a control freak"!! He doesn't want you to be healthy and feel proud of yourself but on the other hand he doesn't communicate well or express emotions, which means your not getting compliments from him. Your family doesn't like him and his doesn't know about you. RUN!! Run until you lose all the weight you want!! My girlfriend is over weight and I think she looks beautiful the way she is. But if she wanted to lose weight and tan or get implants or whatever, that's up to her. I love the person on the inside. And congrats on losing the weight!!
  8. aug104evr
    Just ask if she wants to go out for drinks after work on a Friday. After a few drinks start talking about being single. Don't mention guys, just generalize. Say how it's nice to go out and blah blah. I think she'll take the moment to say if she's single and if's she's into guys. If she was really rude before I don't think she'll have a problem saying she's gay. Then that's your cue to tell her that your into to her too. Good luck and let us know how it goes.
  9. aug104evr
    Don't worry, I started turning myself on writing it and thinking about doing that! My girlfriend is 15 years older and the two main relationships she had before lasted about 5 years each but they were BORING!! She's 44 (42 when we got together). I knew that certain aspects of our relationship would be hard, so I wanted to make sure that the intimate parts were out of this world. I kind of thought about what I had wanted out of my ex-husband but didn't get and went from there. That is the one very cool thing about being with a woman. You wouldn't know it now but I was nervous about being with her sexually. I really wanted to please her. No that's not right, I really wanted to make her see stars!
  10. aug104evr
    Don't forget foreplay. You can shower together, and then do it on the bathroom floor or anywhere in the house. You can give her a massage and then lick all the way up her back and breathe on her neck and go from there. Sex is always better if the build up is out of control. And then you can also just come out and ask if there's anything she'd like to do or try. I am in my first relationship with a woman and did just that. I told her "Hey I'm new at this and your not I'm so open for suggestions". I think your girl will love you even more if your honest. Have fun
  11. aug104evr
    Have you talked on the phone? I would act like her boyfriend. Just go up to her, give her a shy sexy smile and grab her hand. That way if you do the smile thing she'll know your nervous too but really want to be with her. Girls appreciate it when a guy lets her know how he's feeling. Trust me she has probably been on the phone with her friends asking the same questions you are. Just be yourself and enjoy your new relationship.
  12. aug104evr
    First of all I don't recommend your first time with another woman being in a threesome. I would be alone with her and just do to her what you want done to yourself. You really can't go wrong that way. It doesn't matter that you inexperienced because so is she. Just learn together and be yourself. To start the night out go to dinner. Make it like a real date and then go from there. Have fun!!!
  13. aug104evr
    If you don't send the letter you will regret it. Right now you are saying "hey I was wrong I'm sorry". If you just leave things the way they are you saying "Hey I'm still the jerk I was". So either face rejection and know that you tried, or be the jerk and don't try. On the upside of rejection you'll at least be at ease knowing that you admitted you were wrong. Good Luck
  14. aug104evr
    I agree with DN. If your too nice she will get it in her head she still has you and then will start coming around again. A polite smile, hi how are you but kind of keep walking. Kind of like I'm just being polite and don't really care. But be careful, she might take that as a challenge and try to pull you back in. Good luck
  15. aug104evr
    Well from reading your post I can tell you that she does love you. BUT she's not in love with you. Your her security for when things don't work out the way she wants them to she can come back to you. The more you put her off when things are going her way, the more she will try to contact you. That is unless she is too mad to swallow her pride. When she called your friend and he told her she's was playing games with you. That really did her in. Because of GUILT. Then she does the reversal game and blames you. I think you should just move on. Why waste your life and get hurt waiting for her to grow up. And since the first time you took her back she hasn't taking you seriously. Your a nice guy but you don't want to become a door mat. She'll walk all over you
  16. aug104evr
    Just come out with it. Tell her you want to be adults about this and talk it out. If she refuses then tell her she needs to put her personal feelings aside and maintain a good working atmosphere. If she's really still acting up after that then mention sexual harassment. Also tell her that since you are young and you two obviously had some flitation going on that people might have just said that to start trouble. You know new guy, liked off the bat, it has to be sexual and not off of you abilities. Everyone looks for someone way to start trouble in that situation. Hope it works out
  17. aug104evr
    Sorry but you freaked her out royally. During the entire course of the relationship you are the perfect guy. Holding back because she's on the rebound and you don't want to scare her off. Then when everything builds up you blow up. She has every right to be freaked out. I was with a scorpio for 15 years and I know how you guys can be. I think you need to call her and tell her how sorry you are. Then quit the charade and be yourself. When something bothers you tell her. Don't wait until you have another episode. It sounds like you really care about her, so go after her. Don't worry about seeming desperate, because that's better than leaving her thinking your an A!!hole.
  18. aug104evr
    I don't think your boyfriend is gay. There is no list of what is suppose to turn us on. Have you ever watched a porn with 2 women and thought is was erotic? That does not mean you are gay or want to try to have sex with a woman. I know a lot of people who get turned on by things that are just taboo. Maybe thats it. I wouldn't worry about it as long as things in the bedroom between the two of you are good.
  19. aug104evr
    I agree with Ballys. What your cousins did to you was VERY wrong but because you were molested does not mean you are gay. I think people are confusing you with being gay because you are not like a lot of men who act all macho and dominating. People sense insecurity and prey off of that. The fact that you do get turned on by thinking of gay sex. So what!! Is there a rule of what men or women can be attracted too. Is there a list? Just learn to be comfortable with yourself. If a man hits on you and your not attracted, say thanks but no thanks. Isn't that what you would tell a woman that you were not attracted too. Think of it as flattery. Hey I'm hot enough to attract both men and women. You are letting people confuse you. And now you are letting them confuse Mr. Winky and depriving yourself and your girlfriend of a lot of fun. You also need to tell your girlfriend that just because some one is gay doesn't mean they have a gaydar. I have a lot things in common with some of my black friends and that doesn't make me black. Good Luck
  20. aug104evr
    Thanks for the advice. I know Jo will leave if I tell her how much this bothers me. I'm tired of everyone who is suppose to love her taking advantage of her. Her two main past relationships were not that good. One jealous girlfriend and the other was a unemotional drunk. I want to show her the good life of a family. I can't make her see how important she is around here. When my daughter found out she couldn't make this trip this weekend, she said she wasn't going either. She works so much and then feels left out when she gets home. Being stubborn she just sulks about it. Then when I tell her I know what's bothering her to just talk about it she won't. I know part of the problem is CC but mainly it's Jo just not knowing how to stand up for herself. And I have always been one to stick up for people who don't stick up for themselves. It's so fustrating. I've tried to be patient and see if she will do something herself but it's just gotten worse. I want to confront her but not be too pushy. So any advice on what to tell her???
  21. aug104evr
    My girlfriend is 44 and I am 29. We've had many obstacles since getting together 2 years ago. First she's my first woman (and I hope only) and two because she was insecure about our age. The thing is once we got together she noticed I knew more about the 80's then she did. I have a somewhat of an old soul. I just told her what she would be missing out on and that if she was to scared, then let life pass her up. We only live once and there's no going back. Go and tell her how you feel. There are no guarentees even if the age is closer. Let me know how it goes!! Good luck. P.S. If the bar scene is a problem then tell her to go with her friends and you'll hang out with yours. The next day do something together!!
  22. aug104evr
    I'm glad you are staying away from her. It sounds like this girl has a lot of problems and you don't need that. It's great that you care about her and want to help her but I don't think your the one to do it. I know that she will contact you after you leave your job. I'll wager some money that if you just lied and said your seeing someone else she'll contact you. And more than likely she will be mega &^%$## or super sweet. That is until she finds out your still single. I think she lets you off the leash just so far and then pulls you back in. Sorry such a bad analogy. No offense but I've seen it before. You said your 42. Move on and do things for yourself. You don't want to wake up in a year or two kicking yourself in the tush for wasting your time. Find someone who makes you happy
  23. aug104evr
    I hate to say it but I think she's using you as back up. What I mean by that is you have a lot of qualities that she likes but on the flip side you don't. When she talks to you and makes it seem like she's still interested it's to keep you holding on. I grew up with a lot of guy friends and watched women play their games. ( That's not to say guys don't) There is the door mat. Nice guys do not finish last door mats do. You walk all over them and they ask for more. That's not you. Then there's the JUST IN CASE guy. That unfortunately would be you. Just in case I get bored,lonely, jealous,frisky. The JUST IN CASE guy is liked but not enough. I hope that you move on before she hurts you again. The biggest problem I had reading your post was the harassment and forgetting your birthday. First she didn't come right out and tell you to buzz off, so in order to find out what is going on you call her. all to get your harassing her? And you do not forget anyones bday especially if you want them back. I hope you move on and find someone else. You sound like a good guy and I wish you the best. By the way I am 29 so it's not age.
  24. aug104evr
    My girlfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years. We live together and work together. Actually she was my boss when we got together. One night when we went out I realized how beautiful she is and kissed her. We've been together ever since. unfortunately we've had a lot to deal with since then. I'm separated with two wonderful children. Their not the problem. They love Jo and she loves them. The ex has been somewhat of a problem but it's getting a little better. Were kind of stuck with him so we do what we have to do. The problem I have is work. The woman we work for is a X!@#$% if you know what I mean. Jo used to live next to the club (we work at a bar) and CC(the owner) took full advantage of that. Jo had no life outside of the bar. She took all types of crap from CC. They have always claimed to be friends but the only time Jo let her true feelings be known is when they were And then they would act like it never happened the next day. It was never brought up again and CC would continue to do the things that Jo didn't like. When we got together CC acted like a fool. She started doing things that said I can't trust Jo to do her job right. Making out my schedule and giving me messed up hours. Jo had done the schedule for 7 years. Now I can understand why CC did this to me. We never got along. She stands for everything I can't stand. She got the club from doing the do, she had Jo run it while she went and did the do, and she's come in a play boss when there was no to do the do with. Anyway she would ask Jo if we were together but not before blantenly lying and saying I was with all these men. So we leave the club for over a year. In the mean time the club goes to the dogs and she calls Jo back. Jo tells her were a family and she's not going to be putting in all those hours and that I'm part of the deal. CC acts like everything is great and tells Jo run the club how you want to. Now here's the problem. CC is going back to dictating Jo on work. Making her do all the work. She's not putting in the same hours but close enough. To top it off Jo has health issues that can become a life threatening situation if she doesn't stop. I want a home life with her. Not only one night off that we just spend in bed because were to tired to do anything else. I want that but I want dinners at home with the kids. I want a normal life. How can I make Jo see she's getting in the same rut as before. I already gave up on one person for putting work before our family. I love her so much but I already have put 15 years into a no where relationship. I don't want to do it again. I'm 29 and she 44. I told her I didn't want to wake up at 45 asking where my life went. I've seen that with too many people. I just want to be in love and have a normal ( I'll settle for mostly normal) life. Any advice
×
×
  • Create New...