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BellaDonna

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Everything posted by BellaDonna

  1. BellaDonna
    Exactly. And of course you are busy with school so it is very understandable. I think communication is going to be key in this situation. When you're busy it's hard to take subtle hints or read a person's mind. It seems that he may have waited unitl this became a huge pressing problem in his mind and heart, instead of addressing it with you in the early stages. As part of your plan perhaps you can work on some daily "exercises" where you both stop everything- even if it's for 5 minutes- and just take some time to really connect with one another. You are taking responsibiity to address the problem now that you are aware of it- but you both need to be sure to be open with one another and bring up these things BEFORE they turn into huge issues. If they are left unaddressed for too long, they can turn into resentment or bitterness. I think once you re-connect emotionally, the physical part will follow naturally. I think the gift you made him with photos and memories was a really good idea. The 2 of you will get through this, BellaDonna
  2. BellaDonna
    Thanks for updating us with this good news!
  3. BellaDonna
    Hi RayKay. I am sorry I am late on this thread but I just wanted to let you know that I think you are taking the right steps to address this situation. As for the clutter in the house, as DN stated it is a symptom of a bigger problem- but as someone who get annoyed by clutter- I can tell you that I do sometimes take it personally if my husband leaves messes around. It can make a person feel "taken for granted" in that regard....and add to the problem. For example, if we are going through a rough patch- for some reason seeing his shoes scattered in the middle of the living room would drive me far more crazy than it would on days when everything is great between us. Many times relationship conflicts will manifest themselves in the physical environment of your home. So I think it's great that you took initiative to help clean up because it will deal with the immediate environment and allow you both a more relaxing place to deal with the underlying issues (emotional clutter) that may be causing this period of conflict. With patience and understanding I think you will get through this. And remember if it becomes too much to resolve on your own, couples counseling is definitely a good idea (if he is open to it). Hugs, BellaDonna
  4. BellaDonna
    Some pregnant women will have light bleeding or spotting in the first trimester, each month around the time their period was due. If your menstrual flow is moderate to heavy- it would be very unlikely for you to be pregnant. If you want piece of mind, you could take an over-the-counter test. It sounds like you are going to take further precautions in the future to prevent this kind of scare. I'm glad you learned something valuable from it. Take good care, BellaDonna
  5. BellaDonna
    I think it's best to seek therapy first, and then at that point discuss ways about if, when and how you would talk to your brother about this. He may have repressed the memory and might be in denial that it ever happened so if you sent an apology letter out of the blue, it could be a shock to him and could cause a lot of problems. Don't avoid therapy out of fear of legal action. You will have confidentiality with your counselor, and when the offense occurred, you were a minor yourself. As I mentioned earlier, my guess is that something bad may have happened to you as a young boy that made you think this was an acceptable way to relate to your brother. BellaDonna
  6. BellaDonna
    Hi there. I'm sure that telling your story was very hard. I agree that you should get professional help. When you think back to that time, can you recall what made you feel the urge to think that was "ok" to do to your brother? Please excuse me for asking such a personal question, but were you ever sexually abused before when you were a child or a teen? BellaDonna
  7. BellaDonna
    That's ok. You don't have to tell us how you feel. We just like you to know that we care about how you are doing, BellaDonna
  8. BellaDonna
    I'm glad to hear that you were able to help your friend out. It really can give you a good feeling when you can do something for another person in need. I think if you stick close to your friends, you will do fine. Surround yourself with people who care about you, and do not take it personally that it did not work out with your ex. Honestly, it sounds like your ex is very confused about her sexuality and has a lot of self-exploration to do before she can be in a healthy relationship with anyone. You're better off sticking with people who are confident and proud of who they are instead of confused. Good things will happen for you in this life. You have a lot to look forward to in love, life, career, etc. Since you like helping others, maybe you can choose a career that will allow you to do so. Don't be so hard on yourself. Keep your head up and realize that better things are yet to come. You can always come talk to us when you feel down, BellaDonna
  9. BellaDonna
    I never did the online dating thing- but there are many members on this site who have met their spouses and log-term partners online, and they are in serious committed relationships. So I guess it all depends what people are looking for when they put their profile on an online dating site. BellaDonna
  10. BellaDonna
    kdlover, I'm sorry you had such a bad Valentine's Day. How are you feeling today? It looks like you have a friend who really cares about you who is tyring to help during this difficult time. It's always hard to see a person you love break up with you for someone else, but if your ex could not see what she had then she clearly does not deserve you. She's not worth hurting yourself over, that's for sure. BellaDonna
  11. BellaDonna
    Thanks for the update. I'm glad it went well.
  12. BellaDonna
    It's good that you acted as quickly as you did. If you took the emergency contracption pills as prescribed, you probably did not get pregnant. Just be sure to follow up with Planned Parenthood.
  13. BellaDonna
    I think it's up to the women themselves (and their partners) to decide what's best for them, so I suppose it should be an option for them. However, personally when I hear things like this, I can't help but think of how many needy children are already on this Earth and want nothing more than the love of a parent. I would hope some of these people would consider adoption as well. I'm pretty sure that even though I can have my own, I will probably adopt at some point in my life. BellaDonna
  14. BellaDonna
    I think the whole situation is very cute. Perhaps the next time you see her there, the 2 of you can sit together and talk some more. If she keeps sending positive signals then ask her out- you have nothing to lose. BellaDonna
  15. BellaDonna
    I would not be comfortable with my partner giving another woman flowers on v-day unless it was his mother, daughter, or other relative. Even if the guy in question has no ill intentions, it seems lame that he's trying to play "hero" on Valentine's Day. It seems inappropriate to me. If the couple was good friends with her and she was down because she was single- I suppose it would not be so bad if they bought her some kind of friendship bouquet with a note from both of them- but for him to get her flowers on his own seems a bit odd. Again, I think he's looking for the wrong kind of attention, sending the wrong message, and playing "hero". BellaDonna
  16. BellaDonna
    She may be pro-choice, but personally opposed to abortion (i.e. she would not do it herself). Regardless, there is no need to wait another week to get a pregnancy test. She is already quite late. She should take an over-the-counter test ASAP. If she is indeed pregnant and wants to keep this baby- she needs to know. The first trimester is a very delicate time. If she's pregnant- she should be taking prenatal vitamins immediately because she needs the folic acid to help prevent birth defects like spina bifida. Waiting to find out will do no good, BellaDonna
  17. BellaDonna
    Well the proof is in his actions and not his words. If it were me, I'd send him an e-mail with a link to what you found and tell him to never contact you again. He can't be trusted. He will likely act cowardly and try to lie about it or make up excuses. Don't fall for it. Block him from your e-amil and messenger and if he calls, hang up. BellaDonna
  18. BellaDonna
    You are not over-reacting at all. If he is in a committed relationship with you and said that he took down his personal ads, he definitely lied to you. It sounds as if he is looking to cheat if he has not already. BellaDonna
  19. BellaDonna
    I noticed your other post, brooke. It seems that you do not feel supported by your BF at all. Being pregnant can be scary, and without the support of a partner it can feel even more overwhelming. I think the best thing for you would be to get into some counseling or join a support group for moms-to-be like yourself. It's very important that you connect with others and that you do not feel like you are "alone". Are you living with your BF right now? BellaDonna
  20. BellaDonna
    I'm going throught it right now. I am always tired. It just comes with the territory. Whenever possible, give in and take a nap. Your body needs the rest. I'm always worrying if my child will be healthy. I am having an elective c-section so I do not fear the birth part as much- so I am avoiding that major anxiety. If this is causing you a lot of fear and anxiety, talk to your doctor about your options. For some women, a c-section is far "scarier" than vaginal birth and they want to avoid it- but for me it's comforting. How far along are you? One thing that had really helped me relax and feel physically and mentally better is prenatal yoga. Have you mentioned your depression to your doctor? BellaDonna
  21. BellaDonna
    For me the only thing that works is Saltine crackers, caffiene free ginger ale with the bubbles stirred out, and ginger decaf tea. If my stomach is too empty I will feel worse, so I try to eat frequent smaller meals. In the beginning I took my prenatals at night before bed because I could not even get them down in the morning. I would keep the crackers near my bedside in case I woke up in the middle of the night nauseous. I would pop a few crackers before I even got out of bed in the morning. Even though my doc said it's Ok" to take Tums or Mylanta. I am avoiding all drugs/chemicals as much as possible. I too have seen some warning against tums on various sites online. I'm sure a couple here and there won't hurt- but taking them in excess can potentially cause problems. It helps to eat really bland foods and not smell anything that is disturbing. For example, my husband knows not to make seafood in the house or I will lose it. BellaDonna
  22. BellaDonna
    It's amazing how this poem has lived on, even though this occurred in the 1960's. Apparently some schools are even using it as part of their curriculum. link removed
  23. BellaDonna
    It's not bad. Sometimes I find the couch more comfortable than my bed. I just feel bad that I have to leave his side sometimes....but sleep is important. Luckily he does not take it personally. If I hear snoring- it makes me feel like I can't breathe. It just sounds so uncomfortable. I can't tolerate the sound of it. BellaDonna
  24. BellaDonna
    I find myself on the couch many nights due to snoring. I cannot tolerate the sound of it at all. My husband has a deviated septum which he had surgery for twice, but it never helped. What matters most is that you initially start out trying to fall asleep together so at least your intentions are good. Just explain to her that it's nothing personal. You are just a light sleeper. Sometimes I feel bad/guilty when I leave my bed - but a person has got to sleep- and if you can't sleep all night due to the sound of snoring, you will be miserable the next day during your awake hours when it's time to spend quality time together. Just give her a big hug in the morning. BellaDonna
  25. BellaDonna
    I recall feeling very uncomfortable when I had my braces. It did get better with time. The braces put a lot of pressure on your teeth and gums. I found that cold drinks and compresses really made me feel better. I would drink cold ice water a lot when I had braces- for some reason it helped. You might also want to try a mild over the counter pain medicine and a topical anesthetic gel. Try to avoid foods that make you chew too much or too hard like the hard crusts of bread or very gamey meats. BellaDonna
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