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heloladies21

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Everything posted by heloladies21

  1. heloladies21
    Exactly...................
  2. heloladies21
    lol this is an old thread. I got this one figured out thanks for the help though buddy.
  3. heloladies21
    If you care for her, then why would you react like this? Holding your feelings of jealousy inside, pretending not to care. You would only get jealous of someone that you care about, but you reacted with disinterest. Actually it was reassurance in her dating another man! Not good, and trust me she notices. This is probably a problem that causes the end of many of your relationships. Holding your feelings inside and basically putting on a show. Solution is simple, stick up for yourself! Let her know you don't want her dating some other guy. You're the one who wants to date her. But if she's not up for it, then you're only putting yourself through the pain because if she's not interested, there's no reason to believe that she's gonna change her mind. At this point, either she wants you or she doesn't. And if not, then you move on.
  4. heloladies21
    I didn't know what I was doing with girls until about a year ago. Then I started making all these realizations and now I'm very confident that I can have a successful relationship as I please (once I get the girl which is a whole different story). You just have to be open to the idea of learning how this is done.
  5. heloladies21
    Moving to where she was wouldn't have made a difference. She would've done the same things, breaking up with you, going to other guys, then coming back. The same cycle. The reason why she did it wasn't because of where you lived, it's because you weren't able to show her your true emotions. You have a typical problem of many guys of bottling up your true emotions and not being able to fully stick up for yourself at all times. This is a problem which you're going to have to solve if you ever wanna have a successful relationship with any women because they will always react the same way by dumping you and finding someone else if you don't change.
  6. heloladies21
    She's being straight with you so play it straight with her. Email her back right away.
  7. heloladies21
    What? You just got called stupid. How can that be viewed as a good thing? I know my couple of posts have been ignored on this thread, but when it all shakes out and she continues to distance herself from you until the eventual break up, just have my advice in the back of your mind. Nothing wrong with making a mistake, but there is something wrong with making it over and over again. Your gf doesn't respect you. She thinks you are being fake with your emotions and is looking for a way out. This religion issue is just an excuse.
  8. heloladies21
    It's too bad that you saw the therapist that you did because the advice you got basically amounts to psychological game playing and has a 0% chance of working. Honestly, I'd #1 get a new therapist (best to get a guy who is not one of those overunderstanding types hide their feelings type) and keep coming to us for advice. You want the solution? It all has to do with sticking up for yourself and showing the feelings that you care about her and the relationship. A sexless relationship is not normal. If you care enough, you won't accept it. If you're just "go with the flow", she's gonna think you don't care.
  9. heloladies21
    Don't be so mad. She's just reacting to the situation that she's presented with. She's looking for the best guy out there, so we just need to keep improving your skills so that she can see it. Put it back on yourself, ask "What could I have done better to show her I'm the man." It's not mean not to call her anymore, but it's not a good idea to ignore her calls. If she tries to contact you, do not get mad at her. I usually tease a girl if she doesn't get back to me right away. Let her know you're not a wimp, but also let her know that you are not phased by it. In the meantime, other girls await.
  10. heloladies21
    That's a symptom of a BIG PROBLEM. No matter what she says, she i emotionally withdrawing from you and will eventually dump you. And that's an excuse. People (girls usually) do this all the time. It's to deflect the harsh reality of the situation. Admitting to your partner and yourself that the relationship you're in isn't working. It's a process. Healthy relationships have intimacy. If there's none, then there's a problem. It has to be solved or else you two can't continue. On a side note, you sound like a really good guy. Very understanding, always willing to listen and lend a hand. These are all good things. But there looks like a problem because your "niceness" bleeds into not showing your true emotions all the time, even when the emotions you feel are negative. Not enough fully sticking up for yourself, and women get the impression that you're not being completely honest with them (fake).
  11. heloladies21
    She'll most likely bring it up eventually, but you can do it too. It depends how it's all feeling to you. If it feels like the time is right, let her know what you want.
  12. heloladies21
    Yes, let us know what she says. What did you end up saying to her by the way?
  13. heloladies21
    Usually a symptom that something is fundamentally wrong with the relationship. If you notice the trend continue to where she wants it infrequently, then she is not so much into you and is emotionally separating from you on the way to a break up. A woman's sex drive is tied into how she feels about you personally. If she's just saying it in context as part of one isolated conversation, maybe it would be OK. Having an independent woman is something I very much look for in a gf, but she's bringing it up over and over again as if to make a point and don't ignore the subtlties of what she's saying. On one level, it's like a feminist chant that she is self sufficient. But on another level she is very much telling you that she doesn't need you on an emotional level and that is VERY BAD. Turn it the other way around for a second, let's say you told her the same thing-"You're very nice and I love you..but I don't need you." Guaranteed she would freak on you and think you don't care about her. It's a very weird thing to say to someone, but reacting with anything except a defensive tone is a mistake. Stick up for yourself. You want someone who wants to be with you. Do you want someone who constantly reminds you that they don't need you? (No). I'm not some naive romanticized guy here, probably a little on the harsh side actually, but part of loving someone is the feeling that you need them in your life. That you would feel wrong if they weren't there with you. No matter what she says, she's not fully in love with you right now. You can get her there, but it's gonna take you putting your foot down and looking out for what you want #1.
  14. heloladies21
    And what would lead you to think this way? Because if you check out so many other posts on this site, it's never the case. A few different ulterior motives (alieving her guilt, unhappy with her current man which has nothing to do with her wanting you more-just something to kill time and fill up her life). None of the reasons are good. So do this, if you feel like you are strong enough to contact her and address the situation head on, stick up for yourself if need be, then feel free to call. But make sure you ask her right away why she's calling to avoid any BS. You want an answer on this call if she's interested in pursuing things with you further or if she just wants to be "friends." But if you have too many doubts as to how you'll react, then stay in NC. You can address things at a later time if you want.
  15. heloladies21
    Yeah dude, ignore all the discouraging remarks and proceed. Get some other girl's numbers too while you're at it.
  16. heloladies21
    You misinterpret my post.
  17. heloladies21
    One thing I've learned here in the last couple of years in my study of male/female relationships is that emotions are the most impossible thing to control. How can you force yourself to feel happy/sad? Affectionate? It can't be done. What you can control are your actions and they directly relate to how you and others feel. Your wife can't make herself feel affectionate for you, she either feels it or she doesn't. And this feeling is controled by your actions, you have a direct and decisive influence on her. So to solve this problem from ever happening again (not for this case, but for future relationships), you have to take a hard look at how exactly are you interacting with your girl. Loss of love is tough. Once a girl goes down this route, it's impossible to bring it back. I've never seen it done. You'll never feel safe in the relationship again because if you accept her back, precedent has been set. No matter what you say, she'll always believe that she can do it and get away with it.
  18. heloladies21
    That's some hardcore manipulation tactics right there. She asked you a loaded question and you walked right into the trap. Folding, putting all of your personal beliefs aside as if you are beneath her. Even if you don't feel like you are, this is the way it's coming accross to her. Women have no tolerance for doormat guys who always put on a smiley face when the situation calls for an argument. Seen it happen too many times for it to be a coincidence my man, guys who act like you get dumped.
  19. heloladies21
    You gotta stick up for yourself man. What's going on is completely ridiculous. Obviously this guy is trying to move in on your territory, but you can't be mad at him as he owes you nothing. Dating is not a team sport. Your girl's actions and answers to your questions show that she is emotionally separating/ed from you and on her way out the door. So you gotta treat this situation differently or else you're gonna get sumped right right quick for this other guy. Take of the "nice guy" mask and show how you truly feel. One way you show a girl that you care about her is to get jealous and possessive. Some guys just take it over the top, but you are in no danger of that at this point. She's no longer allowed to hang out with this guy. She needs to understand that and you're the guy to make that happen.
  20. heloladies21
    I got dumped once and 4 days later I was in a better relationship that lasted over a year. Once I met the new girl, I completely forgot about the ex (who I very much cared about).
  21. heloladies21
    Any guy can have successful relationships, you just need to learn how to do it. It's hard sometimes, but it can very much be learned.
  22. heloladies21
    She's been manipulating you for some time now and this is just another in a long line of psychological domination tactics that she's using for her entertainment at your expense. If you're not able to stick up for yourself, you'll soon get dumped.
  23. heloladies21
    Reread my first post, the advice is still on point.
  24. heloladies21
    Read into things. She's notover her ex and that spells disaster for you. Answer is simple, stick up for yourself and what's right for you and tell her to get over him. If she doesn't agree, then you gotta dump her. But if you keep up the "nice guy" ACT, you will 100% for sure eventually get dumped yourself.
  25. heloladies21
    It's very common for a girl to have baggage. For real, every single is gonna have some story about a guy(s) who've broken their hearts. The answer to this is simple-you have to look out for yourself and tell them they need to get over it. Because you're not interested in wasting your time here on someone who isn't open to being serious about you. So drop the nice guy thing for a moment and stick up for yourself. Because she was actually telling you "I have doubts that you're a sincere good guy." How else could you react to something like that expect to be defensive and defend yourself.
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