heloladies21
-
Posts
3,859 -
Joined
-
Last visited
-
Days Won
1
Content Type
Profiles
Forums
Articles
Videos
Blogs
Store
Everything posted by heloladies21
-
There's no such thing. Get on the case. People overestimate the importance of contact games, but they can only end up hurting you. When I get a girl's number, I call her the next day oe even sometimes that same night.
-
Well, I can't knock you for responding that way because if anyone is going to take things to a physical level with me, obviously I'm not just gonna sit there and take it. If she wasn't prepared to get hit back, then she shouldn't have put herself in that position. But more importantly is to understand how things got to the point that they did. This was the incorrect response and it's surprising how many men take this path to dealing with situations like this. If you handle a situation like this is this way, apathetic, you tell her one thing with your actions--"I don't care about you." This is the way they think and there's no changing it, you can only learn a better way to deal with it and prevent a similar situation from turning out the way it did. I never waste any time understanding a girl when some kind of conflict arises. If she's giving me some attitude, I immediately call her out on it, and if some kind of compromise or understanding can't be reached, it's over! There's no sweeping it under the rug or hoping it will go away, because the only thing that ever ends up happening is it festers and things get gradually worse till it explodes in the way it did. This way, she'll know that you care enough about her and the relationship to get upset and argue. This is the way you gotta handle situations like these otherwise relationships will keep falling apart. She's telling you right here that this is a problem. I'm the same as you, not liking to show my emotions all the time. That's just my way, but girls interpret this as you not caring about them. Think about it, if you never show a girl that you care about em, how are they suppose to know? By saying it? Lots of this time this isn't even good enough as it's too easy to lie. So they're going to go by how you act, and if you don't act right, you lose by default. I know you're upset, but do your best to learn from this situation so you don't get put in this position again. And if you really learn how this is done, relationships will go the way you want them to.
-
Alpha is mostly in the way you act and do things. Like the way you stand, your posture, the expression on your face, your eye contact, the tone of your voice, the pace of your sentences, if you're decisive, if you're not afraid to back down from confrontation, if you're not afraid to let your true feelings be shown whether they be positive or negative, if you're able to stick up for yourself and what you want and not accept anything less. This is just a partial list, but check out Hogan Knows Best on VH1 to see an Alpha male.
-
Well, fighting for it in the context of what? If your families were from different backgrounds and disapproved of the two of you being together, you fight for what you both want. But in your case, she has given up already so it won't work. The way you're talking about it only happens in the movies, real life is much more harsh. Your relationship has far crossed over being not perfect. A fundamental flaw has been exposed and pushed her to the point where she has emotionally left you. She's not just unhappy, she's not interested. I can only tell you what would be best for you, but you have nothing to prove to me. Do what you feel is best, as sometimes the only way to learn in life is to make the mistake yourself and not just listen from other's experiences. Just keep my advice in the back of your mind if you decide to continue to try and don't see any results.
-
It won't solve anything.
-
That's the toughest part of moving on, accepting the fact that it's over and dashing any hope for reconcilliation. There's always some excuse(s) the dumper uses to deflect the reason for the break up. School, work, stress, family problems, everything. But they just tell you that to deflect the fact thatthey are just not interested anymore (it would hurt you too much to tell you thatand they don't want the guilty conscience). You'll turn the corner soon. Then you can do your best to learn from the situation and move on.
-
If you have her number, call her and flirt with her some more. If not, then you should get it over another email. You need to prime the oven a bit more before you try and close it. Sometimes you can close it quick, but she has given you none of those signs yet.
-
It's bad for you. So many guys have been in your exact same situation, trying to be friends as some kind of sham method of getting a girl to be your gf even though she shows you otherwise that she's not for real. It keeps you distracted from finding someone else, frustrated that you can't get her, and confused at trying to interpret her actions. Basically it turns out to be a waste of time and energy and results in a broken heart when you realize what's really going on. But sometimes the only way to learn from the mistake is to actually make it yourself. You've got plenty of time, do what you gotta do to make sure.
-
I'm not sure if you can get em in the UK, but they have these desensitizing condoms and also a desensitizing spray which you can use before putting on any condom. Trojan and Durex make em.
-
I'm sorry my friend, but this relationship is over. Nothing can be done at this point to bring it back, so best thing to do would be to accept the break as final and do your best to move on as soon as possible. Cut communication and try to work on the other parts of your life.
-
You can't do it little by little, there's no such thing. Either you stick up for yourself or you don't, there's no middle ground.
-
You're halfway there. She did expect you to get jealous, but your reaction was incorrect. Many guys misinterpret what a girl is really looking for when she does something like this. It's not to be some manipulative *****, it's that she wants to see if you truly care about her. Think about it, you would only get jealous over someone that you truly care about. If I were in your shoes, I would immediately go off on her and say something like "Who's shirt is this?" in an aggressive no BS tone. Then an argument would ensue where I would basically question what she's looking for in this relationship and if I didn't receive the answers I was looking for, I would immediately dump her. Situations like this really are this serious. If you let em slide, you suffer the consequences of bad attitude from your chick until she finally breaks up with you.
-
Your message was very logical/left brain so it got that fact based response. It's the kind of message you'd send to a guy friend. This isn't what attracts girls. This is where the skill of flirting comes into play. A joking, teasing style of talking which activates the right brain emotional side. For examples of this check out those Austin Powers movies, or when Howard Stern talks to girls. It's all this creative misinterpretation laced with sexual innuendo. Check out the resources and then call her back. I've had situations turn right around if I'm blowing it at first and then come at em strong on the second time around. So get back in the ring and let me know how it turns out.
-
Can't be done. Basically this excuse is her way of saying "I'm just not into you."
-
Because her selfesteem is shot and this one of the only ways she knows how to bring it up. She doesn't see it as being anything that wrong, she honestly can't help it either. It's just the way she is made, so no need to blame her. But you are no fool either.
-
This is common enough where a name has been given to guys in your position. You're called orbiters. Basically she uses you for the ego boost. She gets you fawning over her while enjoying all the benefits of someone having a crush on her while she pays back little in return. Just a bunch of psychological game playing to keep her entertained until she gets bored of you, then she'll drop you. Seen this type of situation play out so many times it's ridiculous. The funny thing is, if she were all about her current man, then she wouldn't be doing this. There is a flaw in their relationship which means that they will eventually break up. So it's basically all his fault because he's not handling the relationship right, otherwise she wouldn't even act like this. But believe me when I tell you that she does not believe that either you or him are the man for her and she would drop both of you for good if she found him.
-
You would be texting her for the wrong reason. Best to stay out of touch till your emotions cool a bit.
-
Did I do the right thing??
heloladies21 replied to Nick_t's topic in Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend Relationships
You did the right thing for you, but stay away from this line of thinking: because psychological game playing has proven not to work. No more looking back, no more false hope, no more believing that "friendship" can lead back into a relationship because it never works. -
I've made so many of the same mistakes as you. You have no idea how many situation I've screwed up till I finally woke up and started realizing what was really going on. But the one thing you have to keep in mind is that it's never to late to change. Never to late to call her the next day and address what happened. As long as you do it the right way, stern, no BS. Willing to walk away from the relationship if it isn't going the way you want it to. This isn't about what's going on in her mind, this is about what's going on in your mind. You have the power to control your own future. I truly believe this, ESPECIALLY when it comes to girls. Be upfront, direct, not passive but aggressive, a go getter. These are all good traits for you to learn.
-
Need your help with a letter
heloladies21 replied to Me and myself's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
Do what you gotta do my man. This letter is fine. It explains how you feel and what you're looking for and what you're not looking for. -
Just stay out of contact till your emotions cool to the point where you can handle the situation rationally. It'll happen eventually even if it doesn't seem so right now.
-
??? And why would you do this? The situation certainly deserved a confrontation. Personally, I would've called her out on her bad attitude earlier in the night as I'm not loking to waste a perfectly good evening on someone who isn't fun to be around. By avoiding the confrontation, you show her that you are weak. She gets the impression that you are fake and pretending when all she wants is someone who is real. So really, then next time she's not acting right, drop the nice guy routine and stick up for yourself. Otherwise she (and all other women) will keep acting the same and give you the problems you've been encountering your whole life in relationships. Again, she deserved to get ripped out for the way she is acting. By not reacting as you should, she gets the impression that you are not being honest with her. This is the way women think. Even though she is acting wrong, it's actually a test to see if you're a ginuine guy. And you are not passing. So best thing you could do is call her up right now and rip her out or else this relationship will be short lived.
-
If she didn't give me a yes or no, I would've asked again to clarify. Then you would've been in a much better position to know what the heck is going on. But no worries, just remember this lesson for next time. Try again the next time you see her and in the meantime get out there and do your thing!
-
But my friend, don't go too far and think that all is doomed forever and that you'll never find happiness and that all people are going to eventually fail on you. I know it seems that way right now, but in reality you just have a little more learning to do when it comes to interacting with women. The good thing is that this is a very learnable skill and you can take steps to improve if you keep analyzing it objectively. I went through relationship after relationship of the same problems. Start off hot and heavy, gradual decline in interest and sexual desire from her end, till the eventual day when I got dumped. but now I see a bigger picture and can understand what's really going on in a girl's head so the trend stopped. I'm nobody special either. If I can do it, anyone can. Heal up, get back out there, and then post your results with the next one. We can help you out along the way.
-
I know it's not what you want to hear, but that's the false hope right there. Seen it happen so many times it's not even funny. I know you might not be able to help yourself, but you're gonna continue down this path doing this inbetween friends thing till the eventual day where it becomes clear that it ain't working and you get dropped for good.