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heloladies21

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Everything posted by heloladies21

  1. heloladies21
    It depends on what the exact problem is. It's hard for me to say just by what you described. Usually when I ask a guy, he'll be like "and she always used to complain about...", or "this was always a problem." You gotta think about it some more because there's something there in this direction, I'm sure of it. Yes, it's rampant, the feelings that a girl gets that her guy doesn't care. Being romantic isn't the problem, it's just a symptom of how she feels, uncared for.
  2. heloladies21
    Well she can't give you definite answer on how she feels about you because she hasn't made up her mind about you. It is very much possible that a girl will play with your emotion, not enough info for me to say for sure but I doubt that is what she is doing. She can't help what she does, this is her natural reaction. Just accept it and learn how to work with it. So feel free to go home. If she calls you back while you're already home, just talk to her on the phone for a bit. Flirt with her, make things fun. Make her want to talk to you again! Then when you get back you can try and set things up again. In the meantime while you're at home, let's get you some other girl's numbers.
  3. heloladies21
    I personally rarely formalize the event as a date. If you have a problem getting friendzoned a lot, then this can be a defense, but it's much better to set the romantic tone through the way you act. It's more natural. Plus you avoid the pressure of the expectation that this is a romantic encounter.
  4. heloladies21
    Not exactly, it sounds like you were doing fine in the romance department with those actions. It's a heck of a lot more than I do at least! I still say it has to do with expressing how you feel to her. Some things arecoming through inconsistent to her. Like if she complained about you working a lot and how it means that you don't care about her, if you console her every time it sends her the wrong message. At a certain point, you have to stick up for yourself because she's basically telling you that you don't care about her. It's something along these lines, I've seen it happen too many times to be a coincidence.
  5. heloladies21
    And how did you usually react when she would complain about the same thing repeatedly, especially when it was about something related to the relationship like not being romantic enough?
  6. heloladies21
    You can't put this kind of expectation on her yet, you haven't gotten her to the point where she will call you out of the blue like that. This is the way females work, you have to learn how to operate within the system cause you ain't gonna change it no matter how hard you try. You are the guy, it's up to you to get things going and do the work upfront. But things get easier from then on once you learn how to do it right.
  7. heloladies21
    #1 reason why relationships fail when there is no obvious reason (like abuse or infedility) is emotional boredom by the chick. This is normally caused by guys who are very unemotional ie. have a hard time showing a full range of emotions. If you do show your anger well, there are still other things you can show and a girl will look for it in such subtle ways. It might seem like being oversensitive, but if she's ever complained about you in the relationship and you kind of shrug it off, she's gonna look at that as apathy. Honestly I need more specifics on problems she brought up or things she complained about while you were together.
  8. heloladies21
    Dude, why would you pass up this opportunity to at least get the experience? You can always change your mind later if you get to know her more and don't like what you see, but at this point you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
  9. heloladies21
    You need to describe your relationship more for me to tell you what the problem is.
  10. heloladies21
    Do you feel like you could acept her final answer if she told you that she's not interested? If not, then you need some more NC. When you feel like you're strong enough to accept things either way, then you can contact her and finalize each others intentions. But beware, if she's not interested at that point, then she never will be and keeping in touch would be no point. Once this situation is all done, come back and we can discuss what things you were doing wrong in the relationship because her grandparents, or cooking had nothing to do with it. Most likely it's because you are one of those "nice guys" and we need to address that problem. And before you even think about saying "But I don't want to be a jerk", it has nothing to do with that. It's all about helping you show your true emotions better and stick up for yourself more.
  11. heloladies21
    Tell her, it avoids any of the misunderstanding and miscommunication that comes along with dropping out of sight. She'll think that your mad at her if you don't.
  12. heloladies21
    Do it today dude. No point in waiting.
  13. heloladies21
    Well if you're strong enough to accept her final answer, then call her and address her true intentions. Let her know how you feel and what you're interested in and see what she wants. But if she's not interested now, then she never will be and you can move on with no doubts. But all this speculating is getting you nowhere.
  14. heloladies21
    This is the way chicks do it, subtle. It would seem too to just bring it up out of nowhere. Even if everything she says about him is all negative or positive, same thing. Gotta address it the same way.
  15. heloladies21
    You need to proceed much more decisive and aggressive with chicks or they'll forget about you and think that you're not interested. Your way of letting her know your interest is way too subtle and this is taking way too long. Next time you talk toher, try and set up a get together and see how things proceed.
  16. heloladies21
    You can't. More importantly is to understand why you fel the jealousy. It's because you have feelings for her! You would only get jealous over someone you care about. Something is obviously holding you back from expressing it, maybe the pain from a past break up, maybe she's not physically what you think you deserve, would need to know more of your situation to say for sure. But at this point, she is just passing time with you until the next great thing comes along. It's only a matter of time till she drops you for good unless you show her that you care about her or dump her first. Now if you weren't really interested in her, you could get her to dump you/lose interest in you, but that's another thread.
  17. heloladies21
    The space won't afect what she decides to do. Honestly, her mind has been made up (starting something with the new guy--this is a point of no return). So best thing to do would be to stay in NC and close this chapter of your life. Instead of showing her the improvements, why don't you go show some other girls instead?
  18. heloladies21
    You got it my man! Honestly, it's never too late to make the change and stick up for yourself. So the choice on whether or not to pursue it is moot, you've gotta bust a move on this girl. She might be up for it, she might not. Either way you have your answer and can live with the result. You've won either way here, you learned a great lesson which you can apply for the rest of your life. So give this girl one more shot, and at the very least you have the experience of trying while knowing what you know now.
  19. heloladies21
    It depends on what you've done and what you're doing. How long you've been talking to her. Need more details on the two of you in general. Tell me what you two have been up to.
  20. heloladies21
    When I'm interested in a girl, I assume that she's also interested until I hear otherwise and act accordingly. With my current gf, we hung out a few times, I made out with her one night. We hung out a few more times and things just kept proceeding physically. There was no option for friends, either she was interested in the same or we stopped talking. The way you want to do it makes it seem like you want to negotiate a contrat with her. It takes all of the emotion out of you the situation and girls are turned off by this.
  21. heloladies21
    Make the connection. It's the #1 test girls use to see if a guy is interested in her or not. Regardless of whether or not you're officially dating someone has nothing to do with it. If I'm talking to a girl I'm interested in, the last thing I want to hear about is her ex or any other guy for that matter! So when a girl starts going into how "this one guy she's talking to", I immediately cut her off and openly change the subject. Something like saying in the middle of her sentence "that's grea, let's talk about something else." If she persists, then I call her out on what she's doing. Something like "why are you talking about your ex to me? This isn't the kind of thing you say to someone who you're interested in getting to know and want to be interested in you." It's never too early to show this healthy jealousy. It shows her that you care and have a spine. So many times I have messed things up with a girl by ignoring when she says stuff like this. Every time she ends up thinking that I'm just a friend, or that I'm using her just for sex.
  22. heloladies21
    If you're hoping to use this method to get her back, it won't work. It fails 100% of the time when guys in your situation try it. All that would happen is you'd be stringing yourself along, trying to read into every little thing she does, till the eventual day when she drops you for good (usually for another guy).
  23. heloladies21
    Nah, this is the all famous false hope. The tone of her voice means absolutely nothing. Countless guys like you have went down this path of psycholigical game playing only to find out it was a big waste of time. Things need to be way more direct and not this courting phase you're in. If you do decide to go this route though, just be ready for it when she says "I still care about you, but I just don't know what to do yet." If you get something like that, then you know you're going down the wrong path.
  24. heloladies21
    Well I could care less about the bf. I mean, you're not in the relationship, so what do you owe him? The responsibility is on her to keep fidelity. And on a side note, those two are going to break up regardless of whether or not you are in the picture. But now that you've developed feelings for this girl, time to lay it on the line. Tell her you want her to break it off with the other guy and get into a relationship with you. If she says "yes", great enjoy your relationship. But anything wishy washy like "I still don't know" or "i need more time", then she's not serious about you and you gotta let her know that you don't want to talk to her anymore.
  25. heloladies21
    It's too bad some guy is making money out there on people who are in your exact position when you can get way better advice here. I used to stress this same method of trying to win back your ex, but after much observation........it doesn't work. Basically doing what you're doing amounts to a whole lot a psychological game playing, contact games, holding your feelings inside till the fateful day when she either decides to drop the bomb on you that she's not interested or dating someone else (if she's not dating someone else already--in thatcase it's DEFINITELY dead). If you keep doing what you're doing, you're gonna get false hope by thinking that you're making progress when that's not happening. Best thing you could do is to go NC for real, and that means not letting her contact you either for a while. You caneven tell her you want some time to sort things out, it's fine to announce it. Then once you feel strong enough emotionally, you can address her final intentions. But beware, because if she's not 100% all about you at that point, then she never will be and it's time for you to move on.
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