Well I stumbled accross this form earlier this evening and it seems like quite a resource for all sorts of relationship issues.
And now here's mine I'm hoping to get some insight on.
Some possibly relevant background info: A girl I had been dating for six months and I broke up six months ago. It was for relatively minor reasons - me always being late, her tired of "waiting around", some inconsiderateness on my part, etc. Anyway, I've wanted to get back together, she has not wanted that.
A few weeks ago I picked up Brian Caniglia's How To Get Back Your Ex e-book. I pretty much did all the DON'Ts in there - from telling her how much I love her to calling too often to way too much "pushing". This resulted in periods of contact fluctuating in frequency and intensity between me and this girl, but ultimately not getting back together. For the first couple months she would barely talk to to me, she needed space, I wanted answers. I read his book, and well on the bright side, lessons learned. So about two weeks ago I thought I've give his method a shot for getting back together. At that point two weeks ago we'd talk every now and then, but I didn't feel she was quite ready to, say, meet in person yet, and so of course, nowhere near not give the relationship another shot. A legtimately super-busy schedule on her end complicates it, but I know if the desire/attraction/love were there, a relationship can flourish despite hectic schedules.
The current issue -
Two weeks ago I began, as recommended in that e-book, a month long period of no-contact. The thing is - she's been contacting me. I know it says this may happen and to keep the conversations short and simple. But she has initiated contact with me many times, and it is her each initiating each time. She'll IM me 3-4 times a week. I'm always happy to talk with her, and I engage in the conversation, but at the same time I'm trying to adhere to this NC and work toward a goal! Our conversations are about everyday stuff and flow well, and nothing heavy like our relationship has come up. I began this supposed month of NC two weeks ago, so in two weeks or so I"d like to ask her out on a "date", work back in the attaction and all that.....but I'm curious how to handle all this, well, contact. Or, if there seems to be any particular deeper meaning to it. I'd hate to assume it's anything more than it is, made that mistake before with her.
So yeah, any thoughts on this? I guess I'm looking for other perspectives on this. It seems that after a passionate relationship, then a rough breakup and some confusing months that all this talking is a good sign. That is, I hope it's not simply "okay, it's been a few months, let's talk like friends but i don't want a relationship again". You'll have to excuse the wordy post, just trying to explain the situation.
