7out102

webslinger- Good for you, wow day 60. Im on day one just broke it today and feel crappy. I wish I was on day 60. Has your ex tried to contact you? I just started posting after being away from this site for almost three years. What ever happened to superdave, is he around anymore?

Friscodj- Thank you for your reply my brother. Sorry its been awhile but i was out of town on vacation. I like that you dont sugar coat anything at all and I respect that very much. You know I read and re read what you had to say in yoru last post. I try to reflect back on my childhood and I cant think of anything that would make me act the way I do. I guess in a way I just obsess over this girl. Ofcourse not in the stalking way or anything like that. I dont call her or send her gifts or anything like that. I never once did that kind of stuff. Once she broke up with me I went pretty much straight NC. I guess I just have some issues that maybe only a professional can help me with, you know. Its funny because I look at how sad this girl makes me and how much goodtimes I missed out on pinning away over her. Yet I cant seem to change it. I still wait anxiously by the phone hoping that she would call or check my emails hoping she will write, I know its pathetic and stupid. Maybe her bllind date worked out and she will never call me again. I want ti believe that it will happen but I know that deep down it will make me sad. The hard part is that there are alot girls that I can date, but I dont want to hurt any of them. i dont want them to think my heart is in it, when its not. My problem is that im still hanging on to some stupid fairy tale movie like fantasy. Where years go by and we meeet up again and everything is perfect. We fall inlove all over again and have a family and buy a house, etc.. Im just in a total tailspin over the whole thing friscodj. I wake up every morning and just pray that I will have a better day at not miss her. The thing is that my ex has done alot to hurt me and I cant see past that. I just look at how much we make each other laugh, how pretty she is, etc... Like my uncle said "how many times are you going to get stepped on, before you wake up and see the big picture" . Like you said I guess I have to hit rock bottom before I can move on. Crap though man, if I havnt hit bottom yet then when will I. What did you do to get over the one that got away for you? Im going to be 27 and I have my whole life ahead of me but im sitting here wasting it. Thanks again my brother for being there for me.

Hey Nili- Thank you for your reply, it helped me alot. It sounds like you and I have gone through a simliar thing in one way or another I guess. Its very hard. I dont take all the blame myself but I know that I caused alot of the problems with the end to our relationship. However the after breakup saga that is going on, i would have to say that she has more of the hand in that. I have made so many of the same mistakes that you had said you did as well. I settle for the bread crumbs that she throws at me. The occasional text message or the phone call. I guess I always hope that it will lead into something more. You see I too have lost alot of self worth and self esteem. It took a really big hit the other day when she went on and on about going on a date and how this guy is suppose to be great and so on. She kept telling me how tired she is of being single and she just wants to find a good guy. I mean how did she thinnk that was going to make me feel. I felt like a total piece of crap!!!! I have the same problem with letting go but at times I dont thiink that I do. I mean I can go for months and months without talking to her. My occasional text with go ignored and a email will never be returned, etc.. However Nili I do think of her everyday gosh darn day. When I wake up, when I go to bed, and everytime in between. From a girls point of view, why does she do this to me. She is the only ex that has ever pulled such a thing, period? Its like she knows that I love her with all my heart so she does the very minimal to keep me attached and she wins everytime. Well she hasnt callled since we talked about the whole date thing. I dont know why but I guess maybe her date(if she went, it wasnt set up) ewent so well that she doesnt need me anymore. Thats probably what hurst the very most, you know? The bottom line is I truly hope that she is happy and meets a great guy. I just wish it could be me but I know it never will. So do you think I tell her all my feelings and just say goodbye for good? Do I wriet it out in a letter or do I call her. I have a feelinbg she will disappear again for awhile although she promised that she wouldnt, who knows? Thanks again for your help my friend and I will keep hoping that your situation works out for the best too, take care.................

Friscodj- Hey my brother, thank you. You were harsh but i appreciate every bit of advice and I have no hard feelings. You talk from experience and I will listen to what you say. You see the funny thing is that my ex hasnt even talked or met this guy and she was going on and on about what her friend said. Thats why to me it seemed so dam vindictive and only done to get a rise out of me. Trust me to brother, she knows that I never want to hear about that stuff because we have talked about plenty of times before. She knows darn well that it bothers me. You see my friend, they way she talks to me or still gets mad at me over little things makes me think that she still harbors some feelings. They might be nothing much at all but I feel that she still does. I guess you would have to be me to see why I feel that way. I know that i just need to man up and tell her how I feel. I mean really what do i have to loose, NOTHING!!! Can it really make me hurt more than i already do right now. Well i guess if she tells me that we are finished forever than sure it will suck. Like you sadi thought atleast i will know for sure. I will be able to stop dancing around with her and playing these stupid games like you said. The whole thing about living my life is so true too. I dont live my life like I should. If I dont talk to her, I feel * * * * and when i do talk to her I feel great. Except ofcourse when she tells me about dates and stuff. I guess I need to just cut bait and move on. I have a question for you though Friscodj. Why does she always come back into my life??? I have never ever had a ex do that to me. We stop talking because she gets mad at me for something and then she vanishes. However its textbook how she works her way back in. It starts with a light email, then texts, then occasional phonecalls, then phonecalls everyday, everynight. Tell me about a situation that you have been in, when you were heartbroken. What came of it and did you get through it? NC? LC? etc... Are you in a relationship now? Thanks again my brother!! The fact that you take the time to help out a complete stranger means alot. God bless you man.

Friscodj- Thanks brother! You are right about harboring these thoughts however in the last email she wrote to me about 5 months ago she expressed that she knows how i feel about her. It was one of those lovey dovey emails that she used just so she could get me hooked again. I sit back and read it today and although it makes me sad, i kinda get a good laugh out of it. I wonder how someone can sit back and write all those sweet things and not expect you to think that they want you back. It is crazy friscodj!!! Thats what bothers me the most about the whole telling me about the date thing. I told my hair cut lady today about that and she could not believe that my ex would tell me that. She was shocked. She thought that the only reason to say anything was to get a rise out of me or to make me jealous. I mean in your opinion what are the reasons to share that with a ex that you know still cares deeply about you. I guess i need to bite the bullet and just tell her how I feel. Its weird because I feel that its to late for that. I mean obviously if she wants to date and tells me how tired she is of being single then I have no chance, right?? The worst part is she went on and on about how great the guy sounded how he is mature, has a good job, is handsome, and secure in his life. It just made me feel like a worthless piece of * * * *, you know? I know that I screwed up with her and my insecurities got the best of the relationship but why rub it in. Not a day goes by that i dont regret the way that I acted with my ex and she knows that. What do you do man? I guess I know now what needs to get done but I have to find my balls and do it... Thanks again brother, you are a big help

Friscodj- Thanks brother again for your great words. I wish you could come and kick me in the teeth because I know that is what I need to have happen. Its just a tough situation for me because like I said earlier I love this girl with all my heart still. At times i feel that she is coming around by her words, but like they say talk is cheap. We still live at opposite ends of the country so a relationship again would be out of th question. I have been thinking alot about going to some therapy to help me out. There is a reason that I am so drawn to this women when there are so many women around me that are close. Yes my ex was beautifull, witty, perky and all teh things I love but it doesnt matter. You know Frisco, I have such a great life. Im young, make great money, have a great job, yet this girl has made me unhappy. Do you know what its like to wake up every morning and miss someone so much. To think about them all the days only to know that you will never have them back. I guess you have or you wouldnt be so wise with your advice here at enotalone. Its just hard. I know that she has dated since me and she has told me about it in the past. But when she told me that she has a date coming up and she is so tired of being single it really hit home. The wind was knocked out of my sails to say the least. Just yesterday a friend of mine who has been married for 20 years, told me that he caught his wife having an afffair and found all the evidence. Phone calls, love letters, pictures, etc.. I mean its been a year and he is a broken man like he said. He has a gf but he has told her that he still loves his wife and always will. I guess she is their for the support for him and to have a warm body too. Anyways im afraid that I will always be stuck in this rut and never move on. Im afraid of growing old and never finding love again because I will alway be inlove with my ex............ Thanks again brother, keep it coming. Hopefully together you can helpme work through this.

Lady00- Thank you very much for your advice, I will take it to heart. You see this girl is the one that got away and she always will be that one. I have dated since then but to no avail. She lingers in my thoughts on a daily basis and often occupies my dreams. It is so tough. I truly loved her and treated her great. You see since our relationship was a LDR, my insecurities started to take a toll on the relationship. Basically I pushed her away. Its been almost three years since we were together. I am never the one that does the contacting when we go through our NC periods, she always does. Then she seems to sneak her way back in and ofcourse because I love her, I let it happen. It would be so hard to sit there and give her dating advice although I liked how it worked in your story above. That would be great. Like she said the other night, "if we had met and lived in the sameplace, she feels that we still would be together". She is so amazing yet I know she has alot of issues as well. I mean there have been many times where she has hurt me and I always let her back into my life. I have gone to visit her back east a couple times since the break up. Nothing ever comes of it except a heavy heart and she disappears out of my life for months. So what to I do? I mean I love her so much still so it looks like the only avenue is to go complete NC. She got mad because I told her that once she meets a guy she likes, she will not need me anymore. This is always how it works out, you know? Man this sucks. I just hope that she is truly happy with whatever she does and when she meets the right one, she is treated with alot of love and respect. Thanks again for your help..

Lady00- Thank you for your reply. I feel that she is using it too make me jealous but why? I mean we have not been together for awhile so it seems weird to do that. I just played it cool and hopefully she will not bring it up again. Renaissancewomen101- You see I still love my ex so its hard to be firnds with her. I dont think that i will be ever to get over her. She has taken so much of the time I should be dating because she knows exactly when to call, whatto write, what to say, etc.. I get sucked in everytime. Just a few months ago she wrote me this lovey email and told me she loves me and know how I feel about her. Then she feels like its important to tell me that she has a date. Heloladies- My ex knows how i feel about her and she knows that it bothers me when i hear of her wanting to date. I mean what should i do, just deal with it. Maybe she will hit it off with the new guy and she will never wanna talk to me anymore anyones. To answer your question, I told her that I hate hearing about it and stuff. Its just that she lives far away so it would be a LDR and it didnt work the first time with us. Thats why I have never asked her to date me. I mean why would she tell me that she wants to date and is tired of being single. She knows that it will only hurt me and make me sad. Thanks brother for your advice.. I appreciate it

friscodj- Thanks brother! I have followed alot of your advice in the past years with other members. You truly seem experienced and have alot of good knowledge. Yes I still love my ex with all my heart. I have never gotten over her and she has done a very good job keeping it that way. She knows all the write letters to send, gifts, cards, and words to say. It just makes it tough. I guess I just am so sad when i dont talk to her that when she starts calling again, it makes me happy. It just seemed so odd that she brought that up, you know. I know that she would get the same way if I did that because she has before. I just cant seem to get over her Friscodj and I dont know why. Even after long periods of NC, I still miss her and think about her everyday. You see the hard part is that like she admitted for the first time last week. If our relationship wasnt a LDR, she feels that we still would be together. You see my insecurities ruined a great thing. I have a hardtime dealing with that on a regular/daily basis. Im sorry I posted this here, I wasnt sure where to put it. Thanks again brother....

Hey Everyone- For all those out there that are in conatct with their ex's, I finally realized for the first time, why it sucks. My ex and I have been back and forth for years now. We go through periods of contact to NC and so on.. Anyways we started talking again and in the past I have always told her that I just dont wanna hear about her dating and so on. She never has said anything until last night. We were talking and out of the blue she decides to tell me that she is tired of being single and her gf is going to set her up on a blind date. Needless to say this ruined me and im hurting really bad right now. She knows how I feel about her but she still decided to tell me all this. Why? Why? Why? At first I was upset but then I played it cool and told her that I was happy for her and that she should date because she is a great girl..etc.. It just seems that she made it a point to tell me all this for whatever reason If anyone has experienced this, please help me out. What did you all do? What do you think her motives were to tell me all this and make a point out of it? Please my friends I need some advice from my family here!!!

dgtx- Thanks brother for your reply. I appreciate it very much. I have a feeling that she does this to still see if i love her but why?? Why the hell would she care. It sucks because we literally didnt talk for almost 5 months and when talked the other day like we never missed a beat. Thats the hardest part about this. My other ex's when we talk it is so boring on both sides. Now its been a week since she last called and im miserable all over again. She does this time and time again so im not sure why i feel like anything is different this time around. Its weird because I get so angry at her for the way she acts but i still love her so dam much, you know? As for you I wish you the best with the LC thing. Its tough brother as im sure that you know already. What happened w/ your relationship? Mstyiyd- Thanks my friend. I know that what you are doing is tough and it hurts just to think about it. I dont think i could do it. I just dont want to see you get hurt when she does meet somone. You see my e tells me that she see's us getting married and having a future together. I know its probably {mod edit}, but for some stupid reason i believe her. My family tells me that i should block her number but somewhere in my stupid heart I believe there is a glimmer of hope. I mean why after all this time she has never seriously dated or left me alone. I never initate conatct with her at all. Its just werid. Hang in there brother. i will say a prayer for you aswell. I do everynight. Lately i sometimes pray that I can just forget about her all together.

Mstyiyd- Thanks brother for your reply. It sure seems that you are alot stronger than i am when dealing with the ex. I dont think I am strong enough to remain such good friends and take the chance that one day they will say, " I've met someone" Then let alone having to hear about it when you talk to them. How long have you been broken up?? BeStrongandHappy- Thank you as well for your reply. You and everyone else have told me the samething and i wish i could. You see, this girl will always be the one that got away. The sad thing is that if our relationship wasnt a LDR, I truly feel that we would still be together. We had so much fun and there was so much love. I have tried so hard to move on however she always seems to comeback in one way or another. She knows exactly what to say or what to write in the cards, emails, letters, etc.. Last time this happened i honestly felt that I was getting my second chance. I went to see her and we were planing a trip to Florida together. Then she disappears and leaves me heartbroken. I dont know why she does this but the thing that hurts is she knows how much I love her and she stills makes me believe that she cares for me and loves me. It was 4 months with NC when she just called and it was right before V-day so ofcourse all the old feelings came rushing back. I know you probably think that I am a sissy but this is part of the reason why I havnt moved on. She always seems to sneak back into my love. Have you ever experienced this or have seen it before? If so what did you do and what was the outcome.. Thanks again for your help, it means a alot to me.

Thanks Everyone for your replies. Since Valentines day i have been so down because i keep thinking about my ex with another. Its been very tough. The saga between my ex and i has gone on for so long. I mean back and forth and back and forth. For those of you who heard nothing from a ex on V-day, how are you feeling. Do you think that it definitely means they have someone else??? Thanks guys, I can use all the help i can get

Thanks everyone, I guess you are right. However I have a gad ex's that I have had no feelings for anymore and the same with them and they still would text to say happy vday. I mean no cards or gifts or anything like that, just a simple text. God i just want to move on and forget my ex. We have been broken up for almost three years now and we always seem to come back to each other in terms of talking everyday, seeing each other for a few days( it was a LDR) then she gets weird and disappears. So she's gone for 4-5 months and then comes back. Her actions are textbook and I have never experienced that type of thing before.. This makes it so hard to move on

Hey Everyone- Well I was sittinh her and wondering like so many of others here im sure and looking for answers. My ex and i were doing NC for the second time in the last two years and it was hitting the 5 month work. About a week before Vday it all started again. I ignored her for the first three calls and then a few days later I broke down, I know im a idiot!!!! Anyways come V-day no calls and nothing since then. We talked for like 1 hour or so on Monday and it was great. It always is. We never fight, but just laugh and laugh. I could tell she was trying to get info if I have been seeing anyone or "gotten any" lately by the questions she was asking. I didnt think she would call on Vday and she didnt but I automatically assume she has someone and thats why. Anyways what do you all think about ex's on Vday. If they do not call, does that mean that have some else for sure or what?? It has been killing me lately