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emma34

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Everything posted by emma34

  1. emma34
    you don't. at least not publicly. both of your friends need you right now and they want you all to themselves, but thats not fair to you. Tell them you don't want to get dragged into their disagreement and that you can be friends with both without taking sides. Obviously this isn't what they want, but i can bet that your friendship is worth it. maybe privately you'll have to decide who to take sides with - but keep that to yourself.
  2. emma34
    all i have is msn.
  3. emma34
    i think if u click on my name it should say send a private message or something like that.
  4. emma34
    hmm...having sex for the first time. i think most ppl will tell you that their first time wasn't fantastic or anything. it's something you become good at. when you two do decide to have sex, it will get better with time. she can guide you since she has already done it - and through experience you will get to know each others bodies and pleasure points and things like that. My advice is to not get too stressed or anxious about it - it's supposed to be fun. When you're ready, just let it happen and take it slow.
  5. emma34
    I think you've come up with a very mature plan. Your still young and there is lots of fish in the sea. I'm sure you probably hear that stuff and it doesn't make you feel any better but you wil regret it one day if you waste your time in a relationship that isn't right. Maybe one day you will get back together. When I was in high school I dated a guy for 3 years and at one point we broke up because I was so young and wanted to date other ppl and see what else was out there too. We got back together like a week later because we couldn't handle to be apart - but the fact is, we ended up breaking up for real like a month later. What i'm trying to say is...you will get through this, and no matter how many times you hear it, time really does heal. enjoy your single time because one day you fall madly in love again...this is a given. I think your plan is interesting...you've got the right idea. the thing is, time will tell - things will change one way or another so by sitting by the side lines waiting for that time when you guys will get back together...is that really proving anything? Like I said, enjoy this single time, give it time. when there are moments when you really really want to call him - say to yourself ' you can call him in 30 days '. because by the time the 30 days come, you will have so much more will power. and everytime just say ' i feel bad today, but tomorrow, things will be different '. good luck. and if u need to vent or talk it out im here.
  6. emma34
    Oral sex or manual stimulation to get each other off. what do you mean - until you are both ready? the thing about your situation is...don't let it happen on impulse. but if u take the precautions, like birth control pills for her, using a condom, possibly her getting an STD check, then you should be fine. i also don't know what you mean by ' screwing it up '. I don't know who old she is, but personally I think you are at a mature enough age to know whether or not you are ready to have sex. How old is she?
  7. emma34
    ive been the 17 year old dating the 22 year old so personally i find nothing wrong with it...but i understand you wanting someone more on your level. I know not many of my girlfriends are interested in dating guys their own age or younger. im thinkin and i have no advice for you other than to say that everyone woman is different, and age generalizations don't prove anything - you'll meet the right girl no matter what the age.
  8. emma34
    So my sister and I were having a chat today about relationships and we sort of hit a dispute. the conversation stopped there but it really got me thinkin. im the kind of girl who has almost always been in relationships. its no secret i crave a certain intimacy, whether it is a boyfriend or a best friend. i moved to a new city and i dont have many friends here so i hang out wit my boyfriend quite a bit. my sister on the other hand is 7 years older than me and has never really had a serious relationship to date. she enjoys her independence and since ive recently moved in with her - its become quite obvious she has small trouble 'letting others in' as she put it. the thing is - she obviously thinks that my 'needing other ppl' (as she put it) is a flaw or weakness. it made me think because ive at times thought myself that i wish i wasn't so dependent on my boyfriend to spend time with - but the truth is other than my few friends from back home, i just don't have anyone much else in my life - and why spend all my weekends alone right? i don't see how being independent will make me a better person? She also mentioned how ' look at our cousin and her boyfriend...they are totally independent of each other ' (referring i think how they barely see eachother because of their busy work schedules) and then i said ' now, how can u be toally independent of anyone? ' in which she went 'pffft' thoughts please.
  9. emma34
    Oh my god this sounds EXACTLY like me a couple of years ago - lol. So obviously I am bias but this is what I think. Don't push him...because if you push him, he'll go to university and it may not be right for him. Even though you REALLY want it for him, maybe that isn't what is right for him? Ask him to be honest with you on his intentions - not about being with you - but about career/future/school plans...if he's totally obvlious, that's a HUGE red flag. Many high school relationships end with exactly this story - one goes to university, other doesn't. I'm not saying that it is inevitable, but keep in mind that there are probably tons of good guys at your university too that are more on the same page as you as far as motivation and future goals if he is not.
  10. emma34
    Maybe shes just not a very sexual person. My advice is to take her on a weekend trip or something to a bed n' breakfast or something along those lines - since relaxing obviously seems to help. A little pampering and relaxing will do the trick. If not, have a talk with her about it. Since you are expecting differently ask her about it...she will know whether or not this is normal for her. Maybe she is under a significant amount of stress lately and that is why she is physically unavailable - or maybe other reasons. If otherwise your relationship is great, don't let it give you too much anxiety...the sex thing is likely more important to you than it is to her.
  11. emma34
    It totally depends on the person...i've never really cared about that kind of thing until my current boyfriend - particularlly because he has lots of single friends. If you trust your boyfriend, I say - don't worry about it! But keep an eye on that friend of his...is the friend single? I, like more girls I think feel that I really don't like my boyfriend going to see strippers - but on the other hand feel that it's not my place to stop him or say much because technically he's not doing anything wrong. Personally I don't like it because I find it degrading to women and I don't want my boyfriend getting any of those ideas in his head that women are objects and so forth. Again, it's an individual thing.
  12. emma34
    Obviously he likes you if he asked to hang out with you...what your really asking is..."does he like-like me?" and the answer to that is of course known ONLY to him. My advice is to not expect anything from him. Enjoy his friendship and company as you have been doing - and toy with the possibility of something more, just in case he tries a "something more" move on you and you'll be ready. Playing volleyball does not equal dating, so it's a pretty safe bet that he is probably trying to feel out the waters to see if YOU like HIM.
  13. emma34
    Personally, I don't understand this way of breaking up. How can you expect to have this wonderful last evening together when it's obviously going to agonizing for both of you. In my eyes, she will either become even more confused and toy with the idea of taking you back just because shes having such a good time RIGHT NOW (not necessarily the right idea) or you'll both end up crying and desperately want to hug and kiss and so forth. Keep in mind this is my opinion. I'm sure you don't have to worry about going out "good" - unless of course you assume she has some bad opinion of you...which i doubt.
  14. emma34
    Okay...I really hate to say this - but sex is pretty important to a relationships (as you obviously know), and while it would be very difficult to end a relationship on seemingly trivial terms...its not really as trivial as you might think. I know this sounds durastic, but if its a problem now - if you took the next step and got married, it wouldn't get better...maybe worse. I mean, if you talked to her and talked to her about it - maybe its time to take another approach. I take it your trying to be very supportive. But lets face it, your a sexual person and she is not. Her libido is not 'normal'. Maybe you could make an appointment for a doctor yourself and ask for your girlfriend, but I don't know what the doctor can even do for you two other than making sure she is healthy and possibly perscribing libido enhancers she likely will not take. I dont want to sound discouraging - but if she isn't willing to 'put out' in this relationsihp (sorry about the pun)...you might have to think about your alternatives.
  15. emma34
    Its so true that the hierarchy of high school doesnt relate to the real world at all. Ive often found myself in a place where I feel I need to "rebuild" with no revelation in sight - so I can relate. But the truth is, there isn't a finish line...you cant erase what happened to you then - all you can do is focus on the present, filling your life with new positive experiences and people. you can think of life as a struggle or a journey really - its the same thing either way. My advice is try not to focus on your victimization. I think its possible that the ppl that abused you in the past are living with this great guilt. highschool hierarchy is an illusion and even the ppl who seemed so popular can come out feeling empty. anyway...good luck to you...
  16. emma34
    Hmm.. well from the sounds of your description - you may be right about her interest in this guy. As a woman, I too have found myself in a position of being interested/seeing more than one guy at a time, and my only advice to you is...if you are so interested in her show her that you are better than this other guy. Really put your time and effort into making her happy and that is the only way she will forget about this other guy. He isn't just going to disappear and its not like shes dating him or anything - so its pretty much your only choice. On the other hand, dont let it eat you alive. It may be out of your hands at this point. And of course there is the possibility that they are just friends - and if that is the case and you continue to "secure" her, you will eventually be able to become secure in their friendship. Maybe the solution is to keep it low-key with her for awhile, since she may be intimidated by you " knowing everyone " also.
  17. emma34
    Ya know - I gotta say I agree with that song. Granted my first relationship has also been my longest, I definitely think that the first one is the hardest - maybe because the first time the breaking point isnt as visible... and of course, once you had your heart broken once...well, thats when you learn the "time truly does heal" thing.
  18. emma34
    It depends. I dated a guy for 2 and a half years and I was the dumper and time to time I will email or text to say hi (it's been over a year). But I've not once wanted to go back
  19. emma34
    From your description of this guy, it is to no surprise to me that he told you he loved you...and heres why I think he did - because he felt something strongly, and for some ppl, this is nearly impossible to hide. I think that he said it thinking it would make you happy to hear it (and maybe he felt it too), but most definitely did not think it through. Your right when you say this is emotional infidelity and I personally think you've done a really good job at being clear with him about your intentions - from here it up to him to make the move - which I suspect will unfortunately never happen. I've met men like this - last summer a man who told me he loved me, constantly expressing his adoration of me (when I was the one who had the boyfriend) and after time it became clear to me that he had no intentions of wanting a relationship with me, but got pleasure out of making me feel good and knowing that I felt something for him - even though he'd never have to deal with it. Don't feel too much of a loss here, because he sounds like a loose cannon if you ask me. And with this mental disorder that you describe, (while i'm not saying that you should avoid ppl with menta disorders - i've been diagnosed with depression) I'd wonder...what would it be like to be his girlfriend?? From what you say - sounds like it would be pretty dam hard. you HAVE done to the right thing, and i'm sure he thinks about you - and i bet he'll try to make contact with you again...but whatever you do, stick to your guns, because you know what is right.
  20. emma34
    If I were you, I would be pretty angry too... some of my friends can be pretty flaky like this and it absoloutely drives me up the wall. the thing i've learned though is that you can't let it get to you...because this is your friend, and causing a big deal about it will just make him not interested in going places with you even more, yano? Yah, your friend was out of line, and you have a reason to be angry certainly, but at this point there is nothing you can do about it - so try to make the best of yuor trip anyway. Maybe there are other lingering reasons why he didn't want to go.... but either way, don't let it get to you - and keep it mind for next time you try to plan something big like this - that he may be a good friend, but maybe not the kind of friend you travel with or plan with.
  21. emma34
    Most guys I know go for the 3 day rule, although this varies. If it went REALLY well, i would expect something sooner - and if he doesn't call after a week, i say write him off. When my boyfriend asked me for my number ths first time we met...he asked me when I wanted him to call - sometimes guys don't know this stuff... *He called 3 days later.
  22. emma34
    Personally, I wouldn't stress about it too much... I mean, unless of course you suspect she has had lots of unprotected sex. Of course, this doesn't mean that you shouldnt go get checked out. getting checked for STDs is something you should do if u are sexually active, protection or not, every once in awhile. Make an appointment with your doctor to get checked out, and remember for next time to use protection
  23. emma34
    Agreed - something simple and sweet. *Always include a card! (that's the best part I find)
  24. emma34
    i'm not a guy, but this is my thought i hate guys like this. I've so been friends with this guy... lol This is dangerous territory, so a long serious talk about it is a BAD idea. Just sometime when your both SOBER, throw it out there..."so is this going to happen or what? Cause I'm interested in you...and i'd like to make something of this. But i'm not sure what you think." in other words, if he's not into a relationship, you can still be friends.
  25. emma34
    If I did this to my boyfriend I know he would not be comfortable with it. I don't think your being controlling. Going out clubbing with a work related friend is okay, but theres no reason why you shouldn't be invited. If you are invited to go, then theres really no issue. The talking on the phone thing...i mean, i would get annoyed too, and i personally try not to do it when i'm with anyone - but that one you might just have to accept.
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