Jump to content

Cecil de Volange

Members
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Posts

    62

  • Joined

 Content Type 

Everything posted by Cecil de Volange

  1. Cecil de Volange
    oh yeah, he said his not willing, but would it make me feel better if he doesn't say anything about her in front of me only, like don't mention she calls him and others. He said its an effective way to resolve the issues. But it's like his being dishonest to me though, like gosh....
  2. Cecil de Volange
    My boyfriend and I have been together for almost six months and everything is in a satisfactory level. I can't say perfect or great because he talks to his ex still. They were together for three years, so yeah I'm no competition to their relationship. This girl slept with his boss, dump him for another guy...and put him into debt...but he forgave her still. They still talk like call each other up on the phone...no wait she calls him! not him calling her. He just said she's a good friend, and I keep thinking something else. Last night all three of us hanged out at her house and I feel uncomfortable...I just have that heavy feeling like heartbroken thing. I just hate being a third wheel everytime all three of us hang-out. I feel neglected and....I keep thinking this is the girl he had sex with five different ways. For example, Like everytime me and him hang-out with her...his like really happy. It's like he wants her back, but can't because of what she did to him. What should I do? I'm getting hurt because I can't stand the fact that he would defend her than me, like he sticks up for her if I complain about her calling or something. I just feel like I'm not important for him, but he says that I am important that I need to relax, like come on!!!! I'm his girlfriend!!! and he wants me to relax about being friends with his ex... and hanging-out with her....and that's nothing for him. ONce she ask me if she could move in with him at his apartment, like WHAT!!!! it's like she's asking me if she could have sex with him.....I haven't talk to him since last night and I know from the beginning of the relationship that she's not going anywhere and his not letting her go. I just can't take it anymore. It's just WEIRD. PLease help. ADD: She has a boyfriend now, but I just hate the fact she calls if me and him are having a romantic dinner or him talking about his past sex with her. I just stay quiet or I'll get angry. I already told him is it me or her and he said his not letting her go for me because she is a valuable friend to him..and i said to him "Even though she had sex with your boss when you two are together..."...he said its the past and just forgive....I don't know anymore...I'm dying inside like falling apart. Everytim we argue...he defends her...like OMG.
  3. Cecil de Volange
    I'm a girl...who has trust issues and me and my boyfriend are working at it by him getting fed up and telling me that I am pushing him away and that he doesn't want to lose me this way...I guess the only way is to be direct to her (Wake up call). In a realtionship, love, respect and trust must exist without trust...the relationship is doom. (
  4. Cecil de Volange
    My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 4 months now. I have never been happier in my life, because my last relationship was very traumatic (abuse and betrayal). The problem is that I keep having doubt about my new boyfriend might cheat or just use me like my ex. I know he wouldn't....my boyfriend is a great guy, kind, loyal, and the prince charming that I have always wish to save me from my loneliness. Although everytime he does something wrong I get irrational and telling him that his like my ex...abusive and stuff. His now getting angry for still mistrusting him...and I can understand that....I just need some advice to what I should do...like how can I take away this feeling of doubt and just trust my loving boyfriend???? I don't want to lose him because he made me so...happy and I want to repay him by making him happy. In a relationship...love, respect, and trust must exist....my relationship have Love and respect...but trust is missing..He doesn't trust me right now because I make small lies that I wouldn't hurt myself....please help.
  5. Cecil de Volange
    Well, the title says it already and it's very embarrassing, but I was finger banged for the first time last night. My boyfriend was doing it hard and yeah....it was awesome!!!!!!!! I can't believe that I have never experince anything like this before. Now, the question is....Am I still a virgin??????????? like I'm just worried, I dunno why, but I havent' been this intimate before, like it was the MOST WONDERFUL experience ever!!!!!! but still, I value my virginity...now am I a virgin or not????? Please don't mock, I'm new at this.
  6. Cecil de Volange
    don't buy her gifts, she would manipulate it. I almost bought my ex-bf a gift, like a ralph lauren colonge, but I returned it back, cuz why would I buy him him one? is he worth it? and yari yari yata...So I sent him a card instead, only cost 99 cents...
  7. Cecil de Volange
    I have been single for almost a year already, well one and a half year. I haven't competely move on from my last relationship. I still think about him, and still hoping he will come back to me, but I know that I would be lying to myself if I said "He will come back to me." I tried dating, well...that would be a lie since I won't go with any guy. I love my ex-boyfriend so much, and I still cry for the reasons of a broken heart, such as he said he loves me, but he was just saying it to have sex with me. I didn't lose my virginity with him, so I still have my dignity. I just feel lonely and USED!!!!!!!!!!! I broke up with him, because he lacks ambition, ADD (attention defecit disorder), and juvenile past. As you can see his really bad. Now, here I am again, typing about him. Any ideas about how to completely eradicate him in my mind? Please don't say dating or going out, because I tried that already and I feel force to do it. HELP....
  8. Cecil de Volange
    Hello my fellow enotalone members, I haven't been here for a while because I was in a depressing break up of my life...well he was my first boyfriend and yeah..didn't turn out the way I want him to be. I just want a companionate relationship and he wants sex and intimate relationship. I'm catholic for goodness sake, I don't want to disappoint my parent's, plus I'm a traditional girl. Well, we did have an intimate moment, such as kissing each other A LOT which lead to another desirable moment (No sex), which puts me in a situation of feeling guilty of having such intimate desires with him, such as ripping his clothes off and kissing him repeatedly. He was a bit shocked for a moment, but he was happy. I manage to control myself so I will not loose my virginity, but I ended up crying after the little fool around of hot dry sex because of the sinful acts I have just done. So the relationship deteriorated, like what my mother predicted. Intimacy will lead to break up. My ex and I have remained friends, such as saying hello or greeting each other and a 5 minute conversation. Now this college session, I see him almost everyday. The feeling of love is still their, but I must avoid him because I don't want to return to such unhappiness again. It's been almost a year, and I still haven't move on because I keep thinking about him. His birthday is coming soon and I have a birthday card for him. NOw, here is the question, should I send it? Also, there are times I cry at night (well alot of nights). I cry for loosing a piece of my innocence and I feel rape in a way...I just feel USED!!!! I feel disgusting!!!! AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT!!!! Sometimes everytime I think about it, I.....take a bath more than an hour to cleanse myself. I just could not handle the psychology of the intimate acts I commited with him.my past post about this relationship might answer some of your questions or might give you some background view of my relationship. The post is called "I'm going insane!!!!" cecil de volange
  9. Cecil de Volange
    honestly, their is nothing you can do to help him, if you have supported him with all his problems that is enough. Also you say he has a debt thing problem , my advice don't make subjective decisions , but make the objective decisions . I know you love him, but think for a moment...ask yourself...will I be happy for the rest of my life with him? can he truly support me even though he has a debt problem?Is he immature?does he have all the qualities I want? and etc. To me it doesn't look like he knows what he wants. Your a sweet and bright person. Make the right decision. Ps. "no matter how much you love the person, and you know your unhappy and not compatible, you have to let them go."
  10. Cecil de Volange
    I think your boyfriend is having a freudian moment...sometimes if the person is in a lot of stress the unconscious mind can have unexplained thoughts just pop up in their mind, especially eccentric fantasy...try to talk to him more, also looks does not matter, its the person from within that matter...trust me. Humor overshadows ugliness....and all that personality ish.
  11. Cecil de Volange
    in my opinion, just settle the problem, such as ask her out on a date or confess your love to her (I don't know if its love, but whatever what your feelings with her just solve it already...too much suspense). Also she seems she doesn't know what she wants, so don't expect much.
  12. Cecil de Volange
    honestly, if the pregnany test said your not pregnant then you have nothing to worry about. I on the other hand is very late in my period (About 5 months late right now and sometimes I'm a year). Some girls mestrual cycle is very slow, so don't worry about it.
  13. Cecil de Volange
    honestly, this girl reminds me of my cousin. She wants to be pregnant over the same reason and used our grandmother who is of course wealthy to support her child. I hate to say that this girl is not relly ready to face the reality of the world. She doesn't even know what bills to pay and others. Also 40$ is not enough...hahahahahahaha!!!!! This is a very comical situation for a 14 year old. I'm not mocking her so don't delete this post, but $40 is not enough. Also little 14 year old girl is not even sure how long mommy and daddy can support her. Also even though daddy is rich...how long will the money of daddy will last? Money can ran out you know. Also their might be a time will come when her parent's will stop supporting her. probably she forgot to think about that part.
  14. Cecil de Volange
    honestly, let him go. If you contacted him, you would just give him a sign that he has control of you and that your a very vulnerable person to him. Let him go. Show him that your worth it by moving on and by just being plain happy . I was in your situation before, and I know its hard letting go of your first love, but his not worth your time. "Its better to be love by someone rather than not being love at all." also don't give yourself to the person, every guy would just manipulate your kindness. Good luck. Keep te NC going.
  15. Cecil de Volange
    I agree with the bond that was created with our ex. Both develop closeness, a sense of security, and the part of being comfotable with each other. It feels as if we have found another best friend although it will put any person of having difficulty of letting go. I do agree with DBL of a closeness being develop and who would want to cut the strings of such closeness, but does anyone really need to live with such unhappiness. Their is no such thing as a fairytale ending. To my understanding, fairytales are types of relationships that are more likely to end and turn to a learning experience. It is a part of our experience that we will either forget or cherished the bond created. I never really wanted to end my relationship with my ex, because I develop this sense of trust with him. Although "If the relationship is not working out, you have to let them go no matter how much you care or even love about the person." It was very hard...to tell him it is over...
  16. Cecil de Volange
    Honestly, you shouldn't talked to her about your little romance in your past from the very beginning. It will just get worse, and trust me I was in your situation before, except my ex-boyfriend never called me back which made me more depress and insignificant, but it seems she does care for you still because why would she call you ? Talk to her privately and settle the situation with her, but if its just one of those pathetic feeling "I thought I want you back," then probably watching the movie "Spun" should cheer you up, very comical movie. Laughter makes everything go away, trust me.
  17. Cecil de Volange
    I have read so many messages in the forums about wanting their ex-boyfriend's or ex-girlfriend's back. I won't deny that I also want my ex-boyfriend back. He was my first love, my first kiss, and my first on the innocent meaning of first (except sex, I'm a virgin). We all question ourselves why does our love story have to end depressingly? Why we have to let them go? Why can't we stop thinking about them? Why can't we all just move one with our lives? Why go back to our either miserable past? We can answer this questions, but it is hard to let go. Honestly, the only explanation I could give to everyone is either some people don't want to be alone or some are longing for a certain affection. We all crave an unconditional love of a certain relationships. Majority of us wanted a fairytale relationship or either we want someone who could atleast catch us when we are falling down from our emotional self. Although I hate to say, those type of men or women are very rare these century. Not so many wanted to jump to a relationship immediately, but some just want sex or something else. I can say that I love my ex with all my heart, as a matter of fact I saw him a week ago. It was a rainy day, and I saw him walk by. We talk for a few minutes, but I wish it was longer. I missed him so...much that I just wanted to hold him in my arms, but I couldn't. I must remain strong, even though I really wanted him back. We were miserable when we were together. I was the only one making it work. I love him dearly, but the ending of the relationship was our only savior. Both people has to be willing to save the relationship, but I am sad to say that only one of us wanted to work it out, which was me. "Love is every persons weakness......"
  18. Cecil de Volange
    I should have deleted his name yesterday or two minutes earlier after I type my pathetic and insignificant story of my dimented relationship. I don't know what got in to me. I guess my own sadness took over my consciousness and not made realized that I am exposing my beloved ex to humiliation. It was not my intention to humiliate him or even hurt him. I dearly love him, but I do thank the moderator for deleting his name as soon as possible.
  19. Cecil de Volange
    Here is Cecil de Volange again, crying and still yearning for her ex-boyfriend to return to her. I don't know if any of you remembers my post called "I'm Going INSANE!!!!" I talked about my either happiest or depressing moment of my life with my last love. I always think about him, and just wondering if his alright with his slight disorder. I called him on the phone the first week of September. Actually, I called him on the pay-phone, I just wanted to see if he change his cell phone number or something...well I just wanted to hear his voice, and when he picked it up, I hang-up. I wanted to talk to him and to just hold him in my arms, but I can't because were not meant to be. After a few minutes, I called him at my cell, because I decided what's to fear. When he answered the phone, I just felt a warm feeling in my heart. I made a little lie that I called to borrow his spanish book, but I just wanted to talk to him. He said his sorry for mistreating me, and others. Somehow the tone of his voice, he is not very happy to hear from me. WE only talk for about 30 minutes and we both said our good-byes. Around 9pm I called him again, I just wanted to talk for some closure, I guess. When he picked up the phone, I told him I'm moving to another house, and next thing you know he said "I don't want to keep your hopes up, but I have a girlfriend..." My heart sank. I'm not supposed to cry or even get hurt because I called for some closure only. Even though I have a chance to be with him again, I would not take that oppurtunity to shed anymore tears. I started crying, I don't know why, probably I was hurt because he never did loved me that he was just after my virginity which he failed to take away. All those false promises of love was just an attempt to hurt me. He denies that he wanted to take it away. I was crying and sobbing to him. I told him I'm just having a hard time moving one and I just want some closure. I told him what I have been through after the break up, such as: hatred towards men, isolation, seclusioness, and depression. He did mentioned that he prefers me then his new girlfriend. I told him to not hurt her the way he hurt me because I don't want her to go through what I went through. I was happy when he mentioned that he really liked the part when he has to meet my parent's for traditional purposes, such as asking their permission to take me out to dinner. He has never done anything like it before. He told me to move on. I did wrote him a letter confessing how much I cared for him and even loved him, but we were only meant to be friends. I still think about him, and sometimes I want to call him, but I must maintain a no contact for both of our sake. Right now, I'm happy because I am just aiming for my future in college to be a doctor. I'm sad because I can't have him the way I have always wanted him to be, such as being the perfect man that I wanted him to be.
  20. Cecil de Volange
    honestly, I agree with everything you have just said. She probably wants to be with him, but could not. Try to discuss something with her about the relationship between you and her. She might realize that you are not a fool... 8)
  21. Cecil de Volange
    honestly, from my opinion she seems like a very friendly girl (too friendly ), although I just couldn't believe the guy doesn't know about you or even knew you exist in her life. I guess she forgot to mention you.... oops...why don't you talk to her, then again she could deny she likes the guy, but if she is cheating and you are loosing her, then just move one. Your gf seems to neglect you, but try to talk to her.
  22. Cecil de Volange
    I am assuming that this girl meant her labia increased. I went to the website, and it said if the labia increased size then its from the masterbation, but clitoris can't expand that would be very eccentric because the clitoris is a small penis only referred to as clitoris for women. I just couldn't believe the labia could stretch like that...whoa!
  23. Cecil de Volange
    Stop pursuing her because to my understanding she does not want anything to do with you. I know your hurt like a shattered glass, but this girl still has feelings with her ex. It would be difficult to win her heart.
  24. Cecil de Volange
    if your dad is abusing you, you must report him to the authorities....I don't know any hotline, but talk to the school conselor. I feel very sorry for you because your life is the exact opposite of my life....Just pursue your education and be a rich doctor to get away from your dad..
  25. Cecil de Volange
    Talk to a lawyer immediately! She seems dangerous to your life, and she frightens me. Just ask an advice to the lawyers on what to do with this type of situation.
×
×
  • Create New...