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Finzsoftie

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  1. Finzsoftie
    has she been trying to contact you at all? Was she friends with your sister?
  2. Finzsoftie
    Ummm try using KY or some lubricant! It's a lot easier that way. It's a psychological and nervous reaction... anyway, try to lubricate it's easier!
  3. Finzsoftie
    I don't know if you can get out of it... I think the main thing is to keep the head up high... and not to give up! Something always comes up, and remember you have to kiss a few frogs along the way until you find the right one! All the best!
  4. Finzsoftie
    Sorry i am on the run out the door, but just wanted to tell you a quote: "LOVE IS LIKE GLASS YOU MUST TREAT IT WITH CARE, FOR ONCE IT IS BROKEN IT"S HARD TO REPAIR" Girl, get out of there! I had a bf for 3.5 years who kept in contact with ex gfs and with his friends that were girls. he'd cosntantly bring up my guy friends like theres no tomorrow, until i ditched all of my friends for him. We lived together, then the problems started cause he never ditched any of his "friends" for me. He cheated, came back he cheated came back! Girl get out of there! You don't need a ride, and that's what's gonna happen. You let him get away with it once, he will carry on with it. It's just the type of guy! And one more thing, I have broken up with him over a year ago, and now he calls me up beggining me to come back every single week! Seriously, and I know he has a gf! You dont' want this Crap! GET OUT! Sorry doll, i got to run, if you want pM me!
  5. Finzsoftie

    Escape

    Finzsoftie replied to tiki's topic in Personal Growth

    Yes it is! what's more ironic, is that there are more females than there are males, and yet more males are homosexual than females!
  6. Finzsoftie
    hey there, I am really sorry to hear about what has happened. Listen, just calm down, maybe try going for a walk or try to sleep, try to distract yourself from just sitting and smoking, as that can really get to anyone. I think that the girl will sooner or later realize what and who she is missing out for some dumb *beep* at her job, but then it will be up to you if she comes back to you to take her back or not. She is going to sit on two chairs, and 3 years is not 3 weeks. How old is she? If she is your age, then that means that you guys have been together since you were both 17, well, maybe she wants to experiment! I say, try to settle down, and distract yourself with doing some random activity, and seriously think twice before taking her back!!! Cause if you let someone get away with something once, they will repeat it more than likely 98%! Take Care
  7. Finzsoftie
    Hey, THATS PRETTY GOOD!!!!!!! I might send that along to my girlfriends Take Care
  8. Finzsoftie
    Hey I am sorry to hear about what has happened!!! Instead of "begging" maybe try listening to her and letting her talk it through, and get things "off her chest". Ask for a chance just to talk, fly to NY and just talk about it LISTEN AND HEAR her! Women love to talk, but men listen and don't hear All the best
  9. Finzsoftie
    I hope that my idiot of an ex boyfriend sees this the same way as you do! All the best
  10. Finzsoftie
    Hey there, I realise that you must feel totally guilty about cheating, I know I did! But after a few days I realised that if I managed to cheat on someone without them giving me a reason why... well then I am not really into that person and it's an illusion... or the scare of being by yourself?!??!?!?!!! Anyway, I think that you shouldn't see your current bf or the guy that you slept with for a little bit and clear your head! I know when I met a guy I was really into, cheating on him whether I was on E or drunk was not an option it didn't even cross my mind. If you wanna chat PM me All the best!
  11. Finzsoftie
    When I was reading your article, seriously I thought I was reading my own from a few years ago. Trust me with these type of guys "Keep it mean and keep them keen" attitude works! But seriously, when I left my abusive, cheating and lying boyfriend. He kept crawling back, and it came to the point that I had to switch my phone number! And a year later he keeps calling and keeps beggining but after seeing him outside of the relationship and the "poor excuse of a human being" that he is.... I'd never take him back. Girl, I don't know you but you deserve better. If you want to talk feel free to PM me! And remember There was live before him and there will be live after him!
  12. Finzsoftie
    Hi Iliena, Could you ellaborate on what he has been saying to you? When you told him that you could never love him, what happened? What did he say? And I think that you have to ask yourself, why you said that to him. Cheers Finz
  13. Finzsoftie
    Hi there jd21, Girl take care of yourself! Yeah it's normal to have feelings...... it's normal to not want to hang out as it is NORMAL TO HURT! Maybe what you are feeling is truly what you have put away. You have to face these emotions, CRY THEM OUT, TALK THEM OUT but you cant just keep yourself busy trying to push and push and push them towards the bottom of your stomach. I tried that and it didnt work. Concentrate on all of the good things in your life. You are only home for the summer. Talk more to your current boyfriend. Spend time by yourself. Your ex does not exist in your current life. What you guys had it's gone, it's nothng but a memory. Dont chase a fantasy, dont chase a memory. Work out, go to the beach have a coffee sit and write. But spill what you are keeping deep down. If you want to chat PM me! Hope this helped!
  14. Finzsoftie
    Darling, dont rush these things. Try to talk to him. Dont put him in a corner by saying "COMMIT TO ME RIGHT NOW" but do say what's on your mind in simple terms. Communication is the answer to a long and fulfilling relationship!
  15. Finzsoftie
    If I was in your shoes, I wouldnt tell him. Look, you have broken up with the ex for a reason! You know why, (nobody else needs to know) You dont have to worry about the ex, he will get over it no matter how bad that sounds..... well obviously there is a reason why you left him, and why you have a new man. You say that your new guy is perfect for you. Dont tell him. There is no need. If he ever finds out, then tell him, that it didnt touch you that your ex came over, and you didnt want to cause problems and trust issues in your new relationship. Just remind yourselfs of: a) why you broke up with the other guy and b) why you opened your post with your current partner being perfect for you. All the best
  16. Finzsoftie
    I completely agree with what Tymiko had said !!!!!!! GIRL KNOW YOUR WORTH Look, I went out with this IDIOT for 3 years, lol he used to run after me........ but then tables changed, it would be me who was texting him, me who is calling, me who is coming over. One day I exploded.......... 3 years of the same CRAP! The last time I spoke to him on the phone I plainly said "I am so tired of kissing your ass!" I hung up and realised that this is not worth it. I know what im worth, I am the girl and the guy no matter how arrogant or selfish he is should treat me like a diamond, and see my true worth. Trust my hun, its not worth it. Let him know your value, when you are not there to run after him! If you wanna chat more, PM me!
  17. Finzsoftie
    Well, my first question is "How did you feel when you saw Ryan with his girlfriend?"; the second question is "If you didnt have Jacob by your side, well how would you feel with Ryan having a girlfriend?" Friends like Ryan has been to you are hard to find. Imagine your life if you told him this............ and then you realised that truly Ryan was your soul mate. I think you need some time alone without your boyfriend and without Ryan, and you need to think. You need to say to yourself, what do you really want out of life............. and then the answer will come to you. If you can imagine and can hurt Ryan then you have to tell him this, you say to him, that you are not right for me and I love you as a friend and cant imagine my life without you being in it as a friend If you think that Jacob has faults and dont see a future there either.... well then dont barge!
  18. Finzsoftie
    Let it end, it will be more hurtful for you! She is leaving, you are staying........... be a gentleman and let it be!
  19. Finzsoftie
    Well from your post I think that she is really confused at the moment. And this is making you confused also. The NO CONTACT (NC) rule applies best in these cases. You have to keep telling her that. She lay her bed, now she has to sleep in it as well. What's the point of this endless game? You have to tell her, that you are both human, and to stop all of this marking about. Breaking up is hard to do, and the no contact rule, is also hard as.. but you have to think of yourself also. She is not letting you get on with your life. Maybe if she gave you room to breath, you would be able to see things more clearly. When I split up with my bf of 3 years, I kept coming back, we were on and off for the last year, and it was me who was controlling the situation, him also in a way. But the main thing is to give her the space, and allow the space for yourself also, to think more clearly. Tell her.... "if you love something let it go, if it loves you it will come back, if not then it was never yours." and remember this quote yourself. Give it time, have space! And if she is going out on a date. Her cell is not working and she will call you back....... You dont need games! Seriously! You dont !!!!!
  20. Finzsoftie
    I think that you should definitely wait a few more months, before you let your kids meet his overnight guest. They are still young, and are very fragile!
  21. Finzsoftie
    Offer him and you to start going to therapy? Maybe that will shake him up a bit?
  22. Finzsoftie
    Hi All, Well, I havent been on this site for a while, but I wanted to post something that might be of some help to someone out there, plus I really want to get this off my chest. You can view some of my earlier posts and see what has been happening for the past year, if not and are interested in healing after a break up, well read on. I declare myself as being lucky, many who know me would doubt me in saying that: how do you see yourself as lucky as you went out with someone, who broke your heart, cheated on you, hit you, cheated on you and broke you hear over and over and over again. After an abortion, after a miscarraige after nights of crying, and this carrying on for 3 or so years..... well I think I am still lucky. Breaking up with someone is the hardest thing to do. In every human we try to find something magical, something amazing, and something special. On televisions, in books and magazines, we all see how great Jen and Brad, Justin and Cameron etc etc are doing and we are all striving for the same thing. For 3 years I closed my eyes, for 3 long years I tried to make the person next to me seem to be Brad or Justin, or Antonio or anyone but who he actually was. Girls get too intwined, we all want to be in love. We all want to feel loved. We all want the hodling hands and kissing. We all long for it, to feel it, to be IN IT! But most of the time, what do we actually get? Heartbreak, heart burn...... guys leaving us and telling us that they have changed.... well gues what "nobody changes" at least if they are not given a reason to change. It is true what they saw, once a cheat, always a cheat....... but if a cheat wants to stop being a cheat because of something and something that has happened to them...... then they will. But a tiger will never get rid of it's stripes. Remember this to whoever is reading. Dont make a person who mistreats you seem like your hero. Dont let someone yell at you! Dont let someone laugh at you! Each one of us here, is soooo special....... in so many beautiful different ways. Dont let someone take away your smile! Dont waste a tear over a guy/girl who are mean or said/did something hurtful. Life is sooo short and sooo preacious. I am so happy I am single, but I remember I used to cry soooo much! It is better being single than being with the wrong person. I hope you are all blessed with strength, pride and of course dignity.
  23. Finzsoftie
    You know that saying "Distance makes the heart grow fonder?" Well.... you can kind of see it both ways. I reckon do get to know him better but DONT jump and commit to a relationship! Also, I think you fall in love after you KNOW the person, not from showing off (on both parts) the first few months when you meet. Hope it helps Cheers
  24. Finzsoftie
    Hey there, Your post really touched my heart. I have been in a similar situation, and this is the conclusion that I have come up with, I hope it helps: I AM BETTER THAN ALL OF THIS! I can do it on my own, I will find happiness by myself and when I am happy and KNOW my own worth only then a man will come along and build happiness together. I think that sometimes we paint a picture in front of our eyes, idealising the person that is next to us. We make them to be great, and "Mr Right", we pretend that this is it, the final relationship. But it's not, whe you are in the right relationship, the other person wouldnt have to change, you would love him for who he is. Find out your own self worth, LET HIM BE THE LEAF, but you yourself be the WIND so you can sweep away any leaf, you can blow in all directions. And remember this quote (it's one of my favourites) " No man is worth your tears, and the one who is, wont make you cry I hope this helped. If you want, PM me!
  25. Finzsoftie
    Well, I am really sorry to hear what happened between you and the woman. Look I think that you have tried, all you can..... of course it would make anyone feel like an idiot, like talking to a wall. You have to give her space to come around herself. If she doesnt... then it's her fault, if she does well then an explanation would be in order then. If you want to chat more PM me. cheers
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