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bitterbear18

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  1. 50 missed calls and a multitude of messages later she finally worked out what was going on. Being dishonest, deceitful and secretive v. Finding out the truth through reading a diary How can the first not clearly outweigh the second? She finally worked it out for herself that I'd read her diary and justified by responded saying that I wouldn't understand, that I wouldn't believe her and she was determined to make '07 a clean start and make it work. I'm just glad we're not in the same country at the moment and I'll be on vacation very soon after. The thought of me not finding out and then returning to more of the same is actually quite disturbing upon thought. I'm glad it's been resolved of swiftly. Not saying anything would prompt her to be all over me like a rash when I'd return from holiday, so it was best to set it out like I did, in a non-malicious way.
  2. had a look back at why i did it, it was to cool out. looking deeper into it, a lot of the arguments were unecessary, but i recently found out that she was cheating on me through all that time. doesn't make it justfiable, just that the arguments stemmed from her insecurities.
  3. My conscience was at me with the snooping, but if it means that I know the truth and can move on then that's what matters most. I strarted a new thread yesterday, I didn't know how to go about it: BB
  4. thanks guys! i'm off to hongkong and thailand in a weeks' time so plenty of time to kick back and start enjoying life. i felt so relieved when i handed the keys back, bittersweet as it is to find out that way, the last 11 months has been a lie. this has happened to me before so i could sense a lot of things being amiss. i'm glad it's come to a conclusion tho, if i had this drag on it would have killed my confidence and trust in future relationships.
  5. i would say the diary is on the mark. had good things and bad things about me. what concerns me is she was running parallel relationships. snooping is messing with my conscience, i can't say that i delighted myself in reading it. it helped piece together a lot of things which i had gut feelings about tho.
  6. My ex left me the keys to her place to look after while she is overseas. After breaking up in December, we haven't contacted each other until the end of Jan when she fell sick and I had to take her to the doctor - she had tonsilitis/glandular fever. Things backtracked and ended up going back to how they were, but I was feeling uncomfortable about the "relapse" and I guess I was looking for a reason to end it once in for all. We had planned to meet up overseas but I wasn't too keen on it. Yesterday night I went through some of her stuff and read her diary from last year, finding out she was cheating on me for a good part of our relationship. Figuring I have some sort of conscience I know that I shouldn't be snooping around, but in finding this out I'm stuck in a bind. I plan to return the keys to her parents, and text her to tell her they have the keys + it's best we not see each other anymore. What should I say in the text? BB
  7. update... to help her on her feet i paid for january and told her no more. she's overseas now and handed me the keys to look after the place. i know this might start up a whole other conversation but i found her diary; seems that she was seeing someone else from april-june and another guy from june until now. so i guess that's why she wanted the rent, but not the responsibility of living together. bittersweet, but late than never. BB
  8. oh, additionally: - i am living with my parents and paying utilities at home to offset rent. - there is no way i'm paying any extra on ultilities for her given i am not living there. nor will i be paying any extra money if she decides to spend all of that money. once i have paid up in full then i am free from that arrangement period.
  9. 2007 update: to get that weight off my head and shoulders i have decided to pay the agreed amount in instalments on the 1 and 15 of every month for the next three months. there are 8 months to pay off so on that payment schedule i'll be done my march. i paid her for the last two months. as i'm looking for my own place to buy now i think if the shoes were on the other foot and someone who had a verbal agreement with me stiffed me and left, it'd be a pretty bitter pill to swallow. it's irrelevant to think whether or not she would pay me or leave, but i figure to not put on anymore bad karma for 2007. happy new year to everyone reading this! hope everyone has an ace '07! BB
  10. update.... today is d-day for rent we haven't resolved anything, we haven't even spoken or caught up, so it'd be safe to say that it's curtains for the relationship. just a matter of initiating NC and letting things run from there. - bbear
  11. water, electricity, cable tv internet etc. water and electricity is covered in the rent no cable no internet
  12. thanks for the support guys the time apart and coming here to seek opinions has been good for me.
  13. i don't have problems with living there, paying my way and what's required of me. it's a home i want, not a convenience. actually, having to bring this up really kills the spirit of the relationship, especially when she's not willing to talk about it and is unrelenting. quite sad really
  14. ok... i pay accordingly when i'm at home with mum, have been doing so since i've been making money. if my name was on a lease and i'll pay without gripes. if i lived there and wasn't on the lease most definitely i'd pay my way without gripes.
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