Im new to this forum, and pretty much just need to vent and possibly get some feedback from .. anyboody.
heres my heartbreak...
My exgirlfeind (thats so hard to think about) are having the worst problem of our relationship. It would be 3 years this Dec since we started dating. We spent soooo much time together, used to do everything, and it was perfect. We didnt fight often.. just bickered and such. I would spend 3 nights a week at her house, and loved waking up next to her, i miss it so much. We've kinda lost touch with a few friends who went away to college, so she started hanging out with her friends from work.. I was never invited cuz.. "You dont work there" It made me feel left out and jealous i guess. It sounds selfish, but i didnt want her to have as much fun without me being there. Well 3 days ago she called me at work, saying somthings wrong and we need to talk... right then my heart dropped and i had to here it. She told me that she had feelings for this guy she worked with.. and it wasnt the first time. She knew him before when we were together, and had a lil crush i guess, but it went away after a lil. I knew about this and knew he worked/ and hung out with here occasionally but never phased me too much cuz she always insisted that those feelings were gone. They have returned.. in a greater feeling i guess cuz its scaring her. You see, this girl was in love with me. She used the words "forever" and "us" countless times. She kept wanted to plan our wedding, we talked about our future, how we would raise our kids, everything. I was planning to be with her forever.
Now with these feelings she's having, she's scared. She wants her space to figure this out. She doesnt want to talk to me or see me, yet still sees him at work everyday. I heard from a mutual friend she was out with her coworkers tonight.. seeing a movie we planned to see a week ago. Im scared, i dont know what this is goin to do to us. I feel like it wont be the same after, and maybe she will do this again.. IF we get together. I'm not even sure if thats gonna happen. I dont know if she's leaning towards breaking my heart and continuing to see this dickhead, or just going thru a phase that will be over in a week or 2 or 3.... all i know is.. I care about her so much. All i do is think about her, i cant eat... sleep.. work. I missed all my classes today and yesterday. I dont feel like doing anything.. You see, i had planned to be with her. I would do anything for her. ... the whole reason im goin to school and working is to earn money so i could support our family. I feel like i have no reason to do anything without her in my life. I've cried for and hour striaight, threw up, then cried some more. I dont know what to do with myself. I love her so much and i just want her back and for us to be happy forever..
im sorry if this is long and boring or confusing, im just throwing down words to keep me from having another 10 cigarettes outside. i dont know if anything else people are going to say will help. I've heard most of it from friends and family. "get smart, get out" "youre young, theres plenty more to get to know"...
.. but i dont want to know anyone else, i really really really dont, and i dont even know if i could if she leaves me. We spent so much time together, and have had so many memories i dont know how she could throw it away for a guy her compliments her at work, and is a f..... errrr , im so angry when i think about that guy, i really hope i dont see him.. ever. Cuz i dont want to go to jail. but he is goin to ruin my life.
Thanx for putting up with my venting, even if you skimmed through most of it. I'm sorry if i wasted ur time, and but i think im goin to be more sorry if i wasted 3 years of my life..
We were a goldmine gutted...
