Ash
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With casual guy in the picture I'm sort of thinking that communicating with exBF is not the right thing for you to be doing. It's confusing you. Perhaps casual guy isn't right either, but exBF is pestering you and wanting to take up your time. Casual guy and the potential "haven't yet discovered he likes you" guy might be kept at bay. There's a chance casual guy is playing hard to get. Some play that a bit too zealously and end up not being got at all. At some point that sort of relationship either has to become real, or it's time to move on and seek one that is. I've seen it where one of a potential couple plays hard to get, then the other does and it went back and forth but never amounted to anything.
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We actually took along our car seat and tried installing it in the new vehicle before we commited to buy when we were car shopping. That gave us a good idea of angles, spacing, whether the front seats would need to move forward etc.
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Dilly, when you put a baby in a forward facing seat (when they're old enough) the seat is generally secured to the main car seat by virtue of the lap belt. It generally threads through the seat base. It must be installed tightly, and it essentially prevents the seat frmo moving forward in the case of a collision. However, with just a lap belt alone, there's not much stopping the top of the seat from rotating forward. In the event of a sudden stop (collision), the baby will continue to move forward, and so will the top of the seat since it's not held in place. It's easily possible (and does happen) for the seat to rotate far enough that the baby can hit the seat in front if it's at all close. Even if there is a little resistance to movement in the baby seat, the babies shoulders by virtue of being bucked into the baby seat will actually pull the seat forward. If it's not enough that the baby can impact the seat in front, the very car seat they are in keeps travelling forward due to it's own momentum and hits baby in the back of the head, effectively crushing his or her head. The tether strap goes from the rear side of the baby seat and is firmly anchored into the frame of the car so the baby seat remains in place. In some countries, vehicles manufactured in the last few years are required to have proper tether points for car seats. If your car doesn't have a factory tether point, make sure that whatever tether point is used is strong and can take a good hard pull by a strong adult without breaking free. Rear facing car seats are slightly different. Their installation inherently protects against frontal collisions, that's the whole reason that baby travels backwards. However, the ones to watch for to make sure the seat is securely fastened are side and rear (tail end) impacts. Make sure the lap belt holding the baby seat in is good and tight and won't allow the seat to rotate upward in a rear impact, or hit the doors in a side impact.
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Defiantely the type where the base stays in the car is the way to go (I'm not even sure if you can buy the other types any more, but perhaps you can). The last seat we bought (last year) was one that is both front and read facing, it gets reinstalled in the correct orientation depending on the age of the child. You're right, baby car seats are not trivial to put in. Also be warned that they take HUGE amounts of space, requiring more room than the average adult uses. I would have to think that a rule of thumb for most vehicles is that you almost lose the seating space for two people. For example, we had our seat first in the second row seating in a minivan. The seat in front of the baby had to be pushed all the way forward to allow the seat to fit at the correct angle. That meant that anybody more than about 5'4" to 5'6" could NOT sit in front of the baby, there just wasn't room. They also take up more width than the average person. If you have a midsized car with a rear bench, it is unlikely that you'll be able to comfortably seat two other people on that same seat. All this means your average smallish car won't be able to seat an tall adult in front (other than the driver) and children shouldn't ride where there's an airbag. The rear seat may have space for two small kids behind the driver, or one adult. In other words, if the parents are both tall, and there's another child already, a smallish car is NOT going to work! Also, keep in mind the truck has to take the stroller ... *grins* We ended up jumping to a Suburban. We have six kids, luckily only one requiring a huge car seat, and even with a vehicle that large it still takes up considerable space. Certainly have somebody check your installation. If often does take two poeple to put it in properly anyway. It isn't easy to get the belts holding the seat in as tightly as they should be on your own.
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Did they also go into stats on how many baby seats actually get installed properly? It's a very alarming number as well, it's simply not enough to throw a lap belt on and call it done like I've seen in so many cars. The tether strap forms a completely necessary function on a baby seat and not attaching it correctly can result in a baby being crushed by a pivoting seat.
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I think it's a combination of the person and the environment. Some people are highly driven to do something and will succeed regardless of whether a support system is in place or not. Perhaps this is like Day Walker? On the other hand, most of the rest of us tend to react somewhat both consciously and subconsciously to our environment. If we know that there is a safety net behind us, we may occasionally make a decision that errs on the side of being too much of a reach and fail to achieve the ultimate goal. If there's no safety net, we realize that each important decision is sink or swim and thereforeeee might on occasion choose the slightly safer, perhaps more sure way. I'm talking business type decision here. For example, were I to do out on my own with a new product idea I may tend to try for something that was just a little too far out of reach if there was a financial backing and fail to achieve a satisfactory result. On the other hand, if I was responsible for a failure financially and couldn't afford a big loss, I may chose something a little safer, with perhaps not quite the same return on investment, but a small step forward nonetheless. This may ultimately result in more overall success over the years in a series of small steps rather than a sequence of monumental failures. Just another perhaps totally different perspective.
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That's a point I was going to bring up. I'm not cut, but when erect you wouldn't know it as the skin fully retracts. I think of it the same way I think of a convertible car. The cover is there when it's needed (for the guy, most of the time when not engaged in sexual activities, for the car when it's not a sunny day) and not in the way when the time is right (sex and sunny days). Having the foreskin retains sensitivity as the head and edge of the glans (most sensitive for most guys) is not constanatly being rubbed on by undergarmnets etc. When retracted, all those super sensitive areas are exposed as the skin moves out of the way. Guys, if your head remains covered even when erect doing some work stretching the skin to allow it to pull back to reveal the glans is definitely worth the effort.
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You're guilting yourself into something that is rapidly getting beyond your control. If you've made your decision regarding the Croatian woman then you have to stick with that and at some point realize she is in control of her own life, direction and destiny. You said she has citizenship, and I'm unclear as to whether she has a job yet but it sounds like either she does or can get one. My suspicion is that she will not truly attempt to kill herself and that what she is doing so far is getting attention. Most of those who are serious in trying to kill themselves won't use a disposable razor. If she did injure herself badly perhaps she would scare herself enough to make her realize that is totally the wrong way to act. I'm not saying I'd like to see that, what I am saying is that I think she still has the built in self limiting that most of us have that tends to not let us kill ourselves. Whether you can patch up your marriage I think is a secondary issue at the moment. Perhaps you can, I hope you can. When you do come to that part though you will have to put some very serious thought into what led you down this path with another woman. However, the primary issue is how to get yourself untangled from the Croation lady's life. If nothing else you have got her away from her abusive husband and she has been given most of the means necessary to make a new start. By the way, don't be surprised if her husband appears on the scene again due to contact from her. Be aware that might happen and keep your head up. This has gotten somewhat beyond you. The romance is over, damage has been done but at some point she again has to take responsibility for her own life as you do yours.
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That's not truly a physical response, that's more an emotional response. What I mean is that once past the refractory period, it starts all over from scratch pretty much. There appears less urgency on the part of the male to orgasm again as quickly the second (or more) time in a few hours because they've got their physical "needs" met. Or, put completely a different way, it's entirely possible to have the first time last much, much longer than the second time if that's the way you really want it to be. For example, it's entirely possible to have a nice, long, relaxing session in bed first thing in the morning lasting quite a long while (if somebody can take the kids for the day ... please!) and then only have a few minutes for a quickie in the bathroom around lunch time. A man getting off by himself beforehand really him to get control over his emotions. His body is (in general) just as capable of a quick release the second time around. With reference to RayKay's post, yep, I've heard that certainly there is a "too long" time for actual penetration although its something that most men never stumble over! Another thing too, once most men start penetration, they tend not to stop until they orgasm. For any guy who hasn't, try alternating between oral and full on penetration. You'll tie your lady in knots as she writhes around on the bed.
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The more you write, the more you sound like a "player". You played and you lost. Be honest to yourself and those you'd choose to be in a relationship with. If somebody better comes along when you're in a relationship what that's really telling you is you got into yoru current relationship for the wrong reasons because you weren't true to yourself. There was a reason the first girl wasn't normally the type you'd go for. Sounds like you perhaps didn't know who you were in the first place, or attempted to change for this first girl. In order to get rid of her you acted dishonestly (from the sounds of things) and the people around you pick up on that. You'll tend to get the LJBF line whenever a girl is (and was never) interested in a long term relationship of feels you are not the person they though you were. It sounds like this is what happened in your case. Back away from all of these people, make a fresh start, and knock off the game playing. Be honest and true. If you like a girl let her know. There is always risk that it will be all wrong, so that's one very important reason to be sure that you do want to be with somebody before you even go too far down the road with them. And once you start things up, you're in it for the long haul. Don't change your mind on a whim because somebody else comes up that you think may be better. You'll never win that way.
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Huh? You jerked one of the women around to get rid of her to be with another and you're surprised she doesn't like it? I think I MUST be missing something here. Is that really what you meant to write? I can see why she'd be upset. Fact of the matter is, it tends not to work out for any of us to juggle more than one woman in our lives. Almost all of the time that will result in having none of the ones being juggled stay in your life. At least, that's the way it worked for me in the past and many others that's I read about on this board. I think the basic premise is you have to be truly clear of one relationship before starting on another if you want a decent chance of getting things to work out.
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lilady, this is very good and very nice to hear. It appears this thread has made a difference and I'm happy to hear it has increased your self esteem and confidence level. I was hoping from the way you were starting to sound last week that something like this would happen, so it's not actually at all surprising to hear you say you though of this post while you were laying there. Well done!
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I think my cousin married the wrong guy
Ash replied to glegend's topic in Marriage/Long Term Relationships
glegend, perhaps you just better do whatever it is you want to do and see how much trouble (if any) it causes. This thread has gone on a very long time and you're simply not heeding any of the advice those many years your senior are offering. FWIW, I have six kids and when one of them locks in with this much determination, then I start to wonder if it's time for them to experience a "life's lesson" first hand. Perhaps you just need to learn this one the hard way, but I hope for your cousin's sake you don't mess up her life. With reference to what you said about me taking your comments that you don't need a job because it's a different context, you totally and completely can't see the point I tried to make. It is EXACTLY the same context as your cousins' husband because he also does not "need" a job (apparently). The reasons perhaps differ but the sentiment you expressed for not needing one yourself and the way he acts in not getting one are the identical. You don't need a job (as most kids don't) because your parents are paying your way. He doesn't need a job because his wife is. Neither of you is independently wealthy. You're putting a lot of energy into deciding what all of these people are saying to you is to be disregarded so perhaps it's time for us all to turn to something more productive. That's all from me, I'm unsubscribing from this thread. -
Like most other areas of skin on your body, it should and will stretch. Likely the best time to work on it is in the shower (or bath). You can either be erect or not, just keep working the skin down over the glans if you can. Eventually there will be a somewhat permanent stretch. Getting circumsized at this stage will be a very difficult experience.
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I think my cousin married the wrong guy
Ash replied to glegend's topic in Marriage/Long Term Relationships
Perhaps you said it best yourself: If her income is enough to support them both, then they may have decided exactly that. Respectfully put, it's really hard to judge those that are significantly older than yourself. There may be aspects to this you aren't aware of. It may simply be a decision they've made themselves. It's great that you care, and you can be supportive of your cousin in lots of ways, but I'd have to think that an intrusion into their lives such as the one you may be contemplating may not be well received. You've given us your interpretation of how you see things, but there hasn't been anything to say that the two of them have any issues. So, again respectfully put, no, you don't actually have to be the one to say anything. Your heart is in the right place. But I think you can help in other ways. -
Lilady, if you were shallow you wouldn't have posted and participated in this thread the way you have. Your concerns as you've seen are quite normal. Please don't be down on yourself about it! On the other hand, there's been some helpful advice to all, that's a good thing. And yes, when most men say their partners are beautiful, they really mean it.
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How about lighting a couple of candles instead of complete darkness? The flickering, soft glow can be very appealing, and it leaves things quite shadowed and mysterious.
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I would have to think if you could make the great leap of faith and show him your body (which I am sure is not as bad as you seem to think ) that you might start to become more comfortable with it yourself and in time you will find you can be confident, free and sexually expressive as well. Remember there is also beauty in maturity. That aside, what about some enticing lingerie?
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You need to get away from this guy permanently, but I understand how difficult this may seem and may be for you. You have the right to live a much better life, and he does not have the right to do the things he does. You've identified that he is extremely controlling and it sounds like he is getting worse. Please consider taking up Honey Pumpkin on her offer (PM is a private message on the bulletin board if you're wondering). Are there children? If not, it may be easier to move to a different town to get away. Money, jobs, all that aside, I do feel the most important thing is to get away and protect yourself from him. That's the first step, then you will be able to start the task of building yourself a better life. Please be as safe as you can be, but at the same time something has to be done to leave him permanently.
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Our latest little guy started doing this about this age. Hard kicks for his age. He never stopped ... and now he's over a year old ... never stops moving unless he is sound asleep!!! (Not even when he's breastfeeding) Glad you're relieved. Fruit juice always inspired extra energy in our little guy.
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If you're at all worried, go and see your doc. Being as happy and stress free as possible is good for both mommy and baby. If nothing else it will ease your mind.
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Rina, I wasn't quite so unbiased on the LDR aspect of it as I should really have been. 40 minutes to some could be considered long, the other side of course being a 5 minute walk. To some people that is a very important consideration. That aside, I think you understood the true message in that this is not a distance based issue at all. If you're contemplating moving to Toronto, then of course you already know that a 40 minute drive in that city may not get you very far at all! Your Christmas plans are admirable. I'm glad to hear you're thinking of family and also it's nice to hear you are completely at ease with giving up Christmas Day so another can happy. That's a nice favour that I hope will be returned to you one day when it's more important that you have that day rather than somebody else. You seem to be coming to terms with how your bf is, and that should make things easier. You seem to have your head around it even though I do understand if your heart is a bit hurt by it all. One last thing, and so sorry to differ, but I think I prefer House over Grey's Anatomy. But it's a close thing ... Enjoy that part!
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I had one boss who I'd go into meetings with, just he and I. I'd describe what I was working on as he fell asleep ... that's right, he'd go to sleep with just the two of us in the meeting. Next day he'd come in with this "great idea" (mine from the previous day). Eventually I told him he fell asleep all the time when we talked. Apparently (and I'm quite surprised) he didn't realize this happened and it did stop immediately after. I'll return your hijacked thread by just pointing out that ideal bosses and working conditions are not always to be expected, safety aside. (Always be safe!!)
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My ex was like that in the evening. She couldn't get to sleep afterward so she preferred morning sessions. Full on sex that included her having an orgasm would likely be better than just fooling around as there's a better chance she'd be settled afterwards. That's just one possibility though. Doesn't preclude something else being up.
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At this point in your working career, I'd advise against leaving a job without having another because it's boring. As for the safety aspects, that's a whole different story. If you don't feel relatively safe doing your job then there is a problem. Have you spoken to a supervisor about this part of it? Perhaps in the boring, down time you would be allowed to do something mutually beneficial to yourself and your employer rather than waiting for something to happen. Again, talking to a supervisor may help. The issue with leaving at this point without a good reason is that it doesn't show well on a resume when there is a difficult to explain gap in employment. Potential employers often don't react all that well should they learn you left a job due to boredom. I've done some interesting jobs over the years, but in almost every case there have been some boring stretches as well.
