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Ash

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Everything posted by Ash

  1. Ash
    Well done on the job!
  2. Ash
    Do they know what causes it yet???
  3. Ash
    Can you get your doctor(s) to write letters saying that about your illness and recovery? I think that might help.
  4. Ash
    Not meaning to be at all harsh, but you're likely going to have to prove to the courts that you are capable of offering your daughter a safe, secure and reliable parent to be with before you can appeal the decision denying you custody. It may take a while before you can prove that you're in a stable position to care for a young child and I'd suspect until you have some history of being that way it will be an uphill battle to convince the courts otherwise. Take some time, get your life in order again, build on things, visit and spend time with your daughter whenever and wherever you can to show that you love and care for her, and when things are ready reopen the custody issues. Until things have been stable in your life for a little while it will be difficult to do much else. Sorry for this unpleasant situation that you're in, but the best thing you can do now is prove by actions how good a parent you can be even though at this time she's not living part time with you.
  5. Ash
    If you're committing to a lifetime with somebody you'd better make sure he's totally the right guy. There's enough doubt in you, even the title of the thread is enough to tip many people off that he's not 100% right for you. Granted, it's your decision but there should never be a reason to settle. You need to know in your heart that your future husband is the perfectly right person for you. To not be that way not only does you a disservice, but him as well.
  6. Ash
    I'll have my parents give your parents my old stuff, that way both our parents will be happy!
  7. Ash
    Well .... based on that, at 32 you'd only actually have 1/3 of 1/3 or 1/9 so it's already extremely bleak. Roughly 10% left!! Awdree, you're down to 1/3 ofr 1/3 of 1/3 of 1/3 or 1/81 which isn't a whole lot more than 1% But don't listen to me, I'm less than 1/1000000 according to the math so I'm completely done for. But I never had much to begin with so I've lost less!! On the other hand, FWIW, my dad tends to throw my stuff away. So what IS up with our elders?
  8. Ash
    Young people do things to annoy them ... Seriously, you'll get a better handle on this type of issue when somebody tosses out all your stuff that they interpreted as old junk. I'm willing to bet some of the stuff you threw out they didn't classify as something they don't use anymore. It's odd the bits and pieces that can have sentimental value. I've learned in life that regardless of what somebody says at the time, it's never actually a good idea to dispose of an item that is theirs without them specifically saying it's okay to get rid of that particular item.
  9. Ash
    There are? I've never heard of such a thing. It's a very standard question when interviewing somebody to ask if they are interviewing for other jobs as well. Internal policies at some comanies require you to tell your manager if you're interviewing elsewhere in the same company. However, I've never seen anything forbidding a manager to ask one of his/her employees if they're interviewing with intent to leave the company. They generally don't unless the manager knows there is a personel issue. To addess the initial question I'd personally see no issue with telling each of the interviewers that you're looking at different positions in the company.
  10. Ash
    Yep, you're right. It will be far tougher and far more expensive for missing the court date. That's not something the "other side" will let go of lightly and could really come back and make it so much harder. If you want any chance with custody you'll have to make sure you don't do that in future. From what I understand of the processes involved it certainly will be in the thousands. You ex MIL can really only call the shots though your ex. Sounds like you should be talking to you ex, getting honest opinions and trying to convince him to back down on the custody stuff although it sounds like he's rolling over and letting his parents run the show. Sounds like you can't really trust what he says either. Did you and your ex sign anything to do with shared custody? If so, you need to find that and bring it to the forefront (provided that's not what the court date you missed was about).
  11. Ash
    Wow, sounds like some big issues here. I'm not sure if your situation is the same or not, but perhaps posting a new thread would be a good idea. The fact you sound like you enjoy playing games because she hates them does come accross as sounding a bit off, but that's just my opinion. It's hard to know all the facts in either your case or the initial posters. Perhaps both of you can fill us in on more of the details as to why you're both considered abusive by your spouses? That's not a normal thing. Granted, there could be big issues on your SO's side of things, but perhaps their criticisms could shed some light on this and perhaps ways to deal with it could be suggested.
  12. Ash
    Yep, I know several women who have had reductions, and many more who would like them. I sympathize with them because it just can't be easy when they're quite large. Contrary to the male popular opinion, they're not just there for us to admire! Even A cup ladies have no apparent issue breast feeding as my partner can atest to.
  13. Ash
    Nothing at all wrong with that! No need to be embarrassed.
  14. Ash
    That's a good point. You can't trade off love and emotional needs for material objects like that. On rereading, you do seem to see her more as a burden than a partner. That's not a healthy viewpoint.
  15. Ash
    Firstly, I'm assuming she's your wife of 12 years. It sounds more like a lack of communication than emotional abuse. She may be upset when you shut down that you're completely unreachable on an emotional level. While this may be difficult for her to deal with, I'm not sure as I would go quite so far as terming it abuse. She perhaps feel ignored when you're gaming. Would there be any way to include her in that? I do realize we need escapes but if you're spending a large amount of time in that activity she may feel neglected. Any way you can talk to her more, perhaps share some of those reponsibilities? I assume she used to work but no longer does (you talk about supporting her entirely for 3 years). If that's the case perhaps you could shuffle things around at home somewhat.
  16. Ash
    High school and public school can be very brutal places these days if you're not made from exactly the same mold as everybody else there. It's hard to discount some of what is said there, but in reality none of the verbal bashing your receive should be taken very far to heart. Just as you, they're all trying to find thier places in the world and it may surprise you to realize even those who are popular have some of the same issues you do. If you want to date, and want to be with women then it will eventually happen. Don't beat yourself up because it doesn't go the way you want because you'll end up being more and more bitter. I've always found it easier to approach women from a friendly and helpful side. Notice something about them and offer a friendly compliment but don't overdo it! Also, don't make it a totally obvious thing. If they look tired or sad ask them if they're having a rough day. If they're happy, comment on that fact. If you think you might have something in common (sometimes it's obvious, other times quite subtle) then that can be a conversation starter. The first couple of times you say a few words to someone keep it short and simple so it doesn't get strained or awkward. If there's a glimmer of hope, then there will be a next time to chat. You can build up from there.
  17. Ash
    Take a few days off from things and take a break. Do absolutely nothing other than whatever you feel like. Then start thinking about the big picture. You don't have to plot out the course of your life today. Perhaps some of the trepidation is coming about due to a change in schedule. Some people enjoy a fairly structured regular day's activities. All that has changed and perhaps is leaving you more unsettled that usual. Give it some time to pass.
  18. Ash
    My meaning is volunteering in the broad sense of the word. Viewed the way I was thinking even holding the door open for somebody is a form of volunteering. That's more what I'm getting at. Coaching a team, giving a ride to a coworker, they're along those lines too. Granted, I would never want to pressure somebody who was against it into volunteering because they felt they had to. What I was trying to do was have the initial poster look outside himself and learn to appreciate things, both from a give and take point of view. But on the subject of "doing something for nothing" .. if that truly is the feeling then how can we expect somebody to do something for us if they get nothing back? Works both ways. Think of it this way, the inital poster wants some input. He wants us, the uncompensated community that is ENA to offer something up ... but at the same time tells us he's not interested in that sort of thing.
  19. Ash
    Ouch!!! Volunteering is definitely NOT doing things for nothing. It's not all about personal gain although I find volunteering very personally fulfilling. Perhaps this speaks to the root of the issue and you're not seen as being the type of person that's ever going to be there for anybody else. You have to love yourself first before anybody else will. This also speaks to your friendship issues. Other people pick up on this. Potential mates may be being pushed away thinking that there will never be anything for them. Take a step back, look at yourself and come to terms with how that person is. I think you'd help yourself a great deal if you thought about doing things for other people without it being something you might benefit from. Giving time and efforts to others is definitely a way to make your more attractive. It's something people appreciate, and often that's one of the first steps in a new relationship, appreciation. While you're at it, make sure you appreciate anybody you might be interested.
  20. Ash
    I agree with the other posters. Breast size is not actually all that important to me and there are so many other things that can turn me on about the right woman. During sex size makes virtually no difference. It seems small breasts are just as sensitive (perhaps more? difficult to tell) and most women enjoyed being touched there (and many other places of course) in the right way regardless of size.
  21. Ash
    It never happened with me, but it definitely does happen. It's rather a mean way to get out of a relationship.
  22. Ash
    In general it's not a problem to ask for some time to decide. Remember, interviewing and working for a company is a two way relationship. You have to pick them just as much as they pick you. You have the right to decide carefully whether you want to work there.
  23. Ash
    I'd submit that if somebody is worried a future employer might do a check and find out then that somebody is really not all that interested in suicide. If on the other hand you're attempting to determine if a potential employee has attempted it then it may be a handy thing to know. I'd suspect that it would make getting life insurance (and perhaps other sorts of insurace) very difficult to get. There might even be questions when applying for insurance that preclude anybody having attempting it in the past. I certainly wouldn't make the assumption that somebody could attempt suicide and it not be noted somewhere, better assumption is to think that it would be recorded somewhere somehow.
  24. Ash
    We practice food combining as much as possible, which basically means we only eat certain combinations of food. As a broad description we aviod carbs and protien in the same meal. The good part we find about doing this is we eat in total largely the same food we used to, we just combine differently. Often it means bread and veggies for lunch, and meat (protein) and salad for dinner. Omelettes with meat and cheese are okay for example, but you don't eat them with toast or potatoes. Also means we don't really buy "health food" as such. For lunch I take leftovers which is a far easier way to stick to the combining since I eat what I decided to put in my lunch bag (before I was hungry for lunch!!) and it saves a lot of time since it really only takes 10 - 15 minutes to eat. If you're interested look it up on the web.
  25. Ash
    Awesome! Wonderful to read such upbeat prose.
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