Ash

This is only my opinion and may not be shared by anybody else, but I find hyphenated last names a little cumbersome. Additionally, it's not something that can be carried on past a single generation otherwise your child's child could possibly end up with a triple or quadruple part last name. You could consider giving your baby your (or his for that matter) last names it as one of the given names. That way it's not lost.

I didn't think women needed to do this in general. Having one doesn't have to hinder them having another one in most cases. They're not like us guys in that sense.

Do you use extra pillows in key places when sleeping? Supporting your tummy and another between your knees can help with circulation. You're likely already doing that though.

Maybe he's embarrassed about what he told you. Maybe he does have secrets that nobody else knows and he let them slip and now is very self conscious. Did he proposition you at all in any way, and get turned down? You may not even have realized if is was very low key. Another possibility is that he has a gf. she found out and told him to cool it. In short, there could be many reasons. Do you have a chance for a quick casual chat during the day to see if you can get any clues as to what's up?

We're going to be in the same situation ourselves soon when our newest arrives. My son is 16 months and already throws himself on the floor the odd time when he gets frustrated. It's generally when he's very tired and his toys won't cooperate or something like that. I was also there more than a decade ago with my ex wife and our kids at the time. A big part of it is definitely attention. He will certainly be noticing that your day no longer centers on him and he darned well doesn't like that. He will learn to adjust in time, and he will also figure out he's the "big brother" and gets privileges and things his younger sibling doesn't. Until that time though you may very well have your hands full. One common thing is to try and distract him from an activity he shouldn't be doing rather than immediately punish him for it. Perhaps it's time to move him on to the next level of development which may engage his mind more than now. This may be slightly more advanced books, puzzles, rudimentary building toys, toys that require more motor skills or higher level of reasoning. Something that will be a lightly bigger mental and/or physical challenge. If possibly, you could try to set aside some time just for him and you. Time that you hand the baby off to somebody else. It becomes a special time for just him and you and the baby isn't anywhere in the picture. That way he'll learn that mom still loves and spends time with him. If you can try and do that at about the same time every day then if may be something you can remind him throughout the day that is coming. Think of special things to do with him that are not baby things, but rather are things that big boys do. During the course of your day, see if you can get him to help you with the baby. This may be fetching or holding diapers, shaking a rattle for the baby, telling anybody else that is either in the house or visiting to be quite because the baby is asleep, helping you put the groceries away, or fold the wash. He doesn't actually have to really do anything terribly useful, but just be there and in his mind at least he'll be helping mom. That will hopefully give him a deeper sense of usefulness, belonging and achievement.

It sounds like you need to give yourself a break or a change somehow. You sound quite resigned. Any way you can take a break from things somehow, or try a new acitvitiy to try and refresh something in your life? Perhaps that would help. In general, are you feeling depressed? If so, sounds like you need to do something to break out of that cycle.

Jaycearia ... is this really a relationship you want to try and pick up on again? Have you given serious thought to letting it go? I know it's not as easy as all that. But given what's happened and the fact that he does appear to at least having a slight interest elsewhere, just consider what will happen if things don't get back to how they were.

Ah, Okay. That's a little different. That's not quite the way your first post came accross somehow. That sounds reasonable. I'm hoping that if it was (or you've since had) a good, calm discussion with it about that he's told you the truth. If so, I'd hope he'd be open and let you know that he's not after or with anybody else regardless of who might be in his phone. I know there are many women stored in my phone, some of which are business associates and others I've known for various other reasons none of which are romantic. If he got angry by the initial exhange I can understand him throwing out a comment about 400 boyfriends. I doubt he means that at all. Likely just a defense mechanism kicking in.

What would you have done if he'd said "None". I'm afraid you took it past a joke. If you did not expect there to be any girls on his phone and were joking, then that too is a bit of a cruel joke.

You write whatever you want to write. It will more than likely help in the long run, and it certainly can't hurt in the short term. It's also a worthwhile distraction, and sometimes it can help get anger and other feelings out that build up inside. You can even private journal on this site if you want (meaning nobody else can read it). You may want to write about completely different things and completely different viewpoints each time you make an entry. It doesn't have to be consistent, it's whatever you want to do at the time. If your writing brings you to tears, then write about the tears if you want to. That's okay too. Don't let the tears stop you, they're part of grieving which is part of the healing process.

Wow, the part that strikes me the most about this is that when you asked him, he was totally truthful, and for that you rewarded him with a search and a demand for an expanation. Having just been totally honest with you that he had eight girls on this phone I would have though the most logical thing to do was ask him if there was any reason you should be concerned about that? I think all you're doing is starting to create an environment in which he may start hiding things he may otherwise not need to because he doesn't want to get in trouble for something he likely hasn't even done. You have to think very carefully about this type of thing. You left him for somebody else, you came back (apparently). If he did see anybody in that timeframe then it's also a very recent thing for him and there are bound to be some residual feelings left. If you dig hard enough you will more than likely find something you don't want to know about and will upset you. You need to consider that before you check up on things, give your relationship a few weeks or months to settle in again and then if you're still worried it may be worth having a chat. Right now it's too new. Give it a while, don't let his phone list bother you and work on being with him and rebuilding your relationship.

Don't distance yourself too much. I'm sorry, that's not really what I meant. I think you can still parent without being as frustrated about things. There's a part in me that has to give up on some minor battles in order to lower my own frustration. Again, I'm not sure if it would be any different with my own kids. I'm talking here about things like peeing on the toilet seat, leaving dirty socks all over the place. Instead of getting on their case each time, I try to take it more in stride. Hor mother should not be bad mouthing you. There is no call for that but unfortunately there is little you can do. The one thing you can do is try to lead be example. Don't drag your step daughters mother down while she's around and try to let her know that you and her dad don't think it's appropriate for anything negative to be said about you. Breaking down the barriers each time she goes away and comes back is thankfully somthing I don't have to deal with. But as with other things in life, sometimes attacking something head on just makes things worse. See if you can get around the walls in other ways, or simply pretent that they just don't exist. If you'd mad or resentful or feel she is the same, just push past your own feelings and treat her as if she were your own, no grudges held. I don't really think I have any great advice, and I hope I'm not steering you in the wrong direction. Perhaps it will just help you to have an outlet to talk about these issues with. Certainly, you can find that here.

I'm living in a blended family. Her boys are 12 and 10 at the moment. We have a son aged 16 months. I'm actually finding as time passes I'm growing closer to the older boys. I'm learning to accept that they're not mine but it doesn't really matter. They never had a "real" father it seems. He was around the first few years but was always so self involved that he only ever saw his boys as trophies. I have three kids of my own that don't live with us most of the time and that's the toughest thing to take. What I see in the boys I miss in my kids. There are no easy answers here I suspect. You just have to tough it out to some extent, and be as polite and respectul as you can be toward her. Treat her like an adult if that is easier because she's reaching the age where that is true more and more each day. Hopefully if you continue to live together and don't do things specifically to annoy or irriate the other you will grow closer again. You have to accept her for how she is, and her place in the family. Try not to resent you husband for siding with, and loving her. Hormones are kicking in on her side, and whether she is your daughter or his there will be issues. That's just what kids that age are like. That's not anything to do with who mom is or isn't. She'll be testing her boundaries and likely overstepping them at times, but that's just a generic kid and preteen thing. Nothing any of us can do!! Just try to roll with it and be there for her at times when she needs you ... even if she acts like she doesn't. In the end, she'll respect you for who you are and what you've done for her as she's grown up.

Back to our regularly scheduled subject ... M likes the mini silver bullet vibe too because it can easily be used in conjunction with other things.

Ah, okay. And I took the bait. LMAO

Second question first. Of course they feel pain. Not every realtionshp that ends is because one of the partners became nasty. Things change and people change and sometimes it takes one of them to realize it's not working and make a bold move. We tend to hear of all the messy breakups on ENA, but there are countless othes who break up, both parties hurt, nobody is in the wrong and they both just have to move on. First question, I've never read the book. I've no idea when it was written. I have no idea if NC then contact could be uniquely attributed to a specif person who wrote a book and happened to mention it. Seems rather a dry topic for a whole book (if that's truly the way it is). I must ask, is there any point in bringing up the author's name? Does it change the advice others wil give? TO answer the query, it really depends on the circumstances. I see you have previous posts, and I suspect in your case it may be best to move on. It's severely difficult to generalize what one should do in a typical case. I hope the book doesn't attempt to put all broken relationships under the same umbrella. Specifically, it makes sense to examine (in this case) your own situation for it's own merits. A book can give you hints and perhaps get you to be introspective to figure out what you want, but in this sort of a situation I'd find it difficult to have let it recommend to you a specific course of action.

Were there any big stresses in you last pregnancy? If so, can you avoid them this time? Any additional stress you feel is going to add to any issues you may already have.

If she truly likes it, then it's good. If she feels she has to like it because it's expensive, then it's bad. It's not always the jewellery itself that means the most, often it's the thought and feelings behind it that count for more.

Hey, you guys going to fill us on the GI Joe thing? To me it would be like supergluing a Mack Truck Bulldog on the hood of a Corvette.

Heavens, which end? I'm not sure if that is a great idea depending on what you had in mind. On a more practical note, I'm not sure if that type of chemical (super glue) is a great idea to use in something that gets used in such an intimate area. I'd sort of steer clear of that one! Just use it as it is. The results are quick expectional ...

Some poeple have an apptitude for certain subjest, some don't. Likely what you're finding out is that there is quite a difference between "math" and "arithmetic", the later being what most poeple actually think of then they talk about math. Mathematics can be an extremely intensive and rather dry area of study. If it interests you, and you have the correct inclinations then stick with it. If on the other hand you feel as if what you're really learning is that you're not a true blue math tpe person then there is not a great shame in dropping it. Part of what happens in post secondary education is that you find our where your real strengths and weaknesses are. I'd have to think if you're putting a lot of effort in for little gain then maybe it is time to look at another stream of study. Nothing wrong with that, it just may mean you're at college slightly longer that you first anticipated. It happens. Quite a bit in fact!

Awesome! That's great hazey.

M. didn't grow much, she's a small A to begin with and didn't need anything bigger than an A either during pregnancy or after and she was able to breastfeed. I'd suspect that you won't have an issue, I don't think it's really related to how much you grow during pregnancy.

I'm very sorry this happened the first time through. I think we're all hoping very much this won't happen again and you'll have a normal pregnancy. Did your doctor tell you not to become pregnant again? Generally in this type of situation you will have been told up front not to have another child at that time. If this isn't the case, then your doc will likely think it's okay. If the operation you're referring to is the C section then I think you will likely be okay. Of course though as others have pointed out, please check with your doctor! With every new conception you grow a new placenta (it takes several weeks to form) so the newly conceived baby is in a whole new environment. Your uterus of course though has been affected but I would think you are fairly well lealed from that. Your stomach muscles may still be affected but I don't know if there is a risk due to that. Likely what will happen is your doctor will recommend you have a C section for this next baby, and furthermore may want to go a week or two before your due date. You doctor will likely not want you to go into labour as there is a higher risk of rupture becaue of your previous section. Again though, I'm in no way qualified to give any of this advice, so do see your doctor. Best of luck this time through. You deserve it.