Rain533

Well I'm not one to tell someone to lie or lie myself but, LOL lets just look at it this way, you already told him this and at first it was what you needed to make your self feel alittle better at the time. Just tell your ex that your not seeing Scott any more if he asks and forget about it, this dose not make you a bad person in any way. At least you knew when to stop and you didn't go as fare as telling him you where going to move in or marrie the guy to make him jealous.

This would be a very hard thing to go through and I commend you for the way that you have handled everything. You are smart for leaveing him and knowing that you are worth more and don't deserve to be treated that way. There are so many women that put up with this instead of having the courage to move on like yourself. Just remember that you have the best part of him and thats your son. There is nothing that you can do to take way that hurt but let it fade with time. I know thats not what you wanted to hear but it is the truth, it just takes time to get over him. You are going to just fine, you sound like a very smart and strong women. As for when you see him at the appointment- look your best, carry your-self with confidence, and know that you deserve sooooo much better then him. ( He knows you do to). I wish you the best of Luck and keep you head up.

The three things I look for in a guy are: Of course I have to initially be attracted to him and then this is what I look for. 1. Friend- In other works I have to enjoy spending time with him. 2. Sense of Humour- Has to be able to laugh at him-self, and like to joke around alot. Always see the lighter side of things. 3. Believe in Him-self - Has to know who he is and have confidence in all he dose.

I think that the above advice is very good. I also think that parents tend to get stressed out with work and everything it take to run a family. I don't think they may reolize that there not stopping and looking at you when your talking to them, mom may be cleaning up after dinner and dad may be watching tv. Thats how it was at my house alot but when it came to my parents I've always had a big moulth and would just say "you need to stop what your doing I need to talk, I'm more emportant then the tv or dishes. and the would just lol and stop what they where doing. If you don't feel comfortable with this just sit down and start by asking your parents how there day was (this will get there attention) they will reolize that you want to have a better relationship with them and that you care also. Hope that this helps you Mrs. Thug Just keep things will get better.

You should tell this girl that you have asked your guy friends it they are interested and they told you they alreally have a girlfrien, one of them likes someone else, and maybe one is just not interested in getting hooked up with her at this time. I know that It's not nice to lie but this way you can spare her feelings. It dosen't sound like there is just one of your guy friends that she is interested in, it sounds like she will take anyone of them, (she is coming accross as being alittle to desperit). As for her flirting with your boyfriend you should call her on it, a true friend dosen't go after your boyfriend. And there is no need for her to be on the phone three-way when you are talking to him. Just tell her that you want to talk to him alone.(Thats kind of weird I've never heard of a friend wanting to be on the phone 3way every time someone talks to there bf). She really dose need to get her own life. Because of the way that you described your friend, Im thinking that your not worried about your bf wanting to date her but more along the line of him getting sick of her always being on the phone with you are flirting with him. If this is the case just tell him that you will talk to her about it, and if you really think that he would go for her, you need to tell her to back off. Hope that this helps in some way.

ASH you clearly are not happy in your marriage and I'm going to give you the same advice that I would give a close friend, had she/he came to me with this same problem. As much as you don't want to hurt your wife, you have to. Life is to short to wake up every day and be unhappy. You have to make a ferm stand with her (you said she was controling) tell her that you are no longer in love with her, but you do love her and your self enough to make this decision for the both of you. By doing this you will be alowing her and your self to find TRUE love in the futcher and one day be happy. I don't know u'r gf so I'm not sure if she is going to come back to you are not, only time will tell. If you really think that she is the one for you and the two of you are ment to be together, you have a better chace at getting her back if you are not married. Some advice from a friend, really take some time away from relationships to sort out your own feelings. And no matter how hard it is you have to tell your wife that your leaving her, she will try to get you to stay, tell you its for the kid, that she can't go on with out you, ect..... But if you really are not happy you need to stand ferm and tell that you are leaving her. P.S In general affairs are just considered to be a cruel thing, nothing person against you, anyone that would have posted this would have got the same responce from most people, I guess sometime's people as a whole just need to step back and reolize that every one makes mistakes we are only human. You will get through this and one day be happy, but the road ahead is still going to be a hard one and more feelings are bound to get hurt.

Well even though I don't agree with what you did at all, I'm not here to judge you. I understand that you don't love your wife anymore and that she knows about the afair with the other women. I think that your wife has a very low self-esteem to stay with a man that is cheating on her for so long. Chances are that like you she is scared to start over. I know that you think staying together for the kids seems like a good idea buy it ends up hurting the kids more to live in a house with two parents that don't love each other. Lots of people get divorces and as long as you are still there for your kids they will be just fine. After reading this I see that the answer is for you to leave your wife, know matter if the girlfriend is still around or not, it's not health to live your life unhappy all the time. You may want to go see a counsler alone to talk about why you find it so hard to leave you wife. You are a growen man and need to learn to be happy on your own, This would be your divorce not you girlfriends, thereforeeeee you need to work through this on your own, you can't expect someone else to take your hand and lead you through this, You will be glad in the end that you did this on your own and a stronger person for having done so. As for your girlfriend, chances are that over time she got tired of shareing you, the problem with starting a relationship like this is that if you two do end up together she will always wonder if you are cheating on her, like you did with you wife. I'm thinking that she has seen the light and now wants more for her life. I think that your best bet to be happy is for you to divorce you wife if you truly don't have any feelings for her anymore and then for you to spend some time alone, you have to learn to love your self before anyone else can love you. Dont jump in another relationship for about a year or so, figure out what it is that you want and spend lots of time with your kids so they don't feel abandend. Hope this helps and good luck with every thing.

You are still very yong, and killing your self is never the answer to a problem. They say that almost every man and women will question there sexuallity onec in there life, have same sex dreams or be affracted to someone of the same sex. Now I'm not gay and Ive never told anyone this before but at 18yr's I had a same sex dream and I thought that maybe I was gay for like a week. The truth is that you don't have anything to worry about this is 2003 and if you are gay theres nothing wrong with that, however I'm not sure that you are. Why dont you try dateing a few girls and see if you are attracted to them. Alot of people that are gay do start off not wanting to be gay they just want to be like every one else. I have two male friend that are gay and they both have talked about being depressed and how they wanted to kill them selfs before they came out. Now both of these men did need counsleing but not because they where gay but because they where both molested as a child. If you are gay I'm not saying that it will be easy to tell your parents and friend but alot of times it's the best thing because your not carring around that secret in side any more. Just remember that there is nothing wrong with being gay if you are. and you still can be a teacher and have the same goals as you have now.

It sounds like he might be gay, but then again he might just be testing the water and alittle confussed about what he is. Just because he didn't have sex with the girl dosn't mean that he is gay. He may not have been atracted to the girl. If you really want to know you could ask him.

One of my bf thats a guy is gay, I went to school with him from 6 grd to 12th grd and the whole time I thought he was gay but never said anything to him about it, He never really had alot of girlfriend but had alot of girls that where just friends. Three years after we where out of high school he dated a girl and she became preg...( even though he was dateing a girl I still couldn't help but to think that he was gay, he acted the same way to her and he did to me except for the sex thing). Any way the week after he told me that he was going to have a baby we went out and after 6 pitchers of beer and telling me time after time I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU but just drink one more beer, HE told me he was gay, I told him that I already knew and that I couldn't believe that it took him all that time to tell me. You see he spend so much of his life trying to be something that he wasn't and trying to be what people thought he should be. He was so much happier after he came out and I'm proud of him ( and you for having that cerage to do so). It just may be that your friend is just not ready to come out or even admit it to him self yet. And by the way, by what you said about him I do agree with you, I think that he is gay and one day ( may be along time from now ) He will be ready to tell you, but don't push him on it.

When I was your age and I decited that I wanted to have sex. I was to embarsed to talk to my parents about this topic so I went to Plan Parenthood, It's cheep and they don't tell your parents. I maked sure that I was on the pill so I wouldn't get preg.. and they gave me condoms and showed me how to use it in case the guy did'nt know how to use it right. Later on my mom ended up comeing to me and TRYING to tell me about sex. I just told her that I took care of thing, and that I was on the pill. I did'nt tell her I was haveing sex. She told me that she was proud of me for being so responsible at that age. This felt so weird talking to my mom about this and I think that that only reason I told her about the pill was because I didn't want to talk about it with her any more. Any way that was that and from that point on we never talked about it again and I was happy with that. It's been years sense then and now I can talk to my mom about anything. I think that it's just a think that some girls go through when there moms are not really open with these kinds of things it makes us uncomfortable to talk to them about it.

5 out of 10 guys are not gay, don't worry. I think that this guy that told you that wishes that where the case but its not OR In the area that he lives in there are more gay men so it just seems like 5 / 10 % of males are gay.

I understand that your friend just had a baby, and that babys are sooo cute, and that your friend is getting alot of attention right now. First of all your only 16 and you need to finish school, babys cost alot of money and there are alot things that baby will need. I'm thinking that you also live with your parents, to have a baby you need to be ready to be an adult and that includes living on your own. You still have so much life to live.....please dont do this to you and your future....There wont be any going out at nights on date, If you want to do anything you will need a baby sitter and have the money to pay for the sitter. You will have to get up at all hours of the night for the baby, plus no more sleeping in, you have to get up when your baby dose. Most guys don't want to date a 16 year old with kids they want to date someone that can go out and have fun not a Mommy. Your body will never look the same again, strech marks, saggie boobs, ect..... Haveing a baby should be a dicision between a man and women when they are married and ready to commit the rest of there lives to another little person. P.S. please wait, you will see in time you what I'm talking about, and your friend is going to wish she was you, and that she waited, Her whole life is going to chance, just wait and see.

I have also read some things about this. I think that what works best is not to really ignore him but just don't alway be avalable for him to do thinks with or talk to. this will show him that you do have a life out side of him. some guys don't like it when a girl is always there, kind of in there face so to speek. So the distence with kind of give him a chance to miss you. kind of like the saying you don't miss what you have in tell it's gone.

I always thought that men had it better then women. I thought that men had a orgasm when they cum... right, so that's pritty much every time they have sex. On the other hand orgasm is harder for some women, many don't have a orgasm in tell there later twentys and if and when they do have one it's sometimes few and fare between. Thats why some girls fake it to make the guy feel better.

That was very good, you can tell that you have alot of meaning and strong feeling behind the song..

I think that all the advice has been great but I'm thinking along the line's of going to get married, something that she will always remember. Ok do some of the things that the other gal's said but when it comes time to giver her that gift that she will love. Buy her a watch and ingraved on the back have it say: I will always have time for you. OR I'm counting the min's tell your my wife. Something along that line and years later she will be showing it to you grand kid.

I know that it's hard feeling like you lost two of your best friends, and feeling like it's your own fault. Things like this do happen between friends more then anyone would like to admit. I'm not saying this it's right, but I just want you to know that there are many people that can relate to your story in one way or another. ( Puting there self in the place of you or one of your friends). I know that I can relate, what I'm going to tell you I'm not proud of and this happened in high school. The guy that I was dateing and his best friend and I hung out together all the time. Over time I started haveing feelings for his friend and knew that it wasn't right to be dateing him If I was haveing the feeling tords the friend. So I broke up with my ex boyfriend after two years, I know longer had feelings for him. I never thought in a million years that his friend whould call me, but he did and he told me that he was having the same feelings tord me and as wrong as I knew it was I started hanging out with him and we both shared are feeling of how we liked each other but at the same time we felt that it was wrong because we didn't want to hurt the ex boyfriend eather. By then it was to late and we had really fallen for each other and started dateing, when the ex boyfriend found out he was really up set and wanted nothing to do with his old friend and wanted me back. Over time the ex boyfriend hated both of us for what we did. We ended up dating for three years, but that gilt never went away for eather of us. We ended up braking up for some reason. Now years later we all run in to each other once in awhile and just say hi thats about it. The EX Boyfriend (like your friend) I talked to him years later and he told me that it took a long time for him to get over me and the fact that he lost his best friend at the same time. He said that he still has trouble trusting people. I wish that I could take the pain away and go back and have done things differently so he wouldn't have gotten hurt. The Friend (like you) Last time he talked to me about this he told me that we should have never dated, that it just wasn't a good way to start things out ( I think he ment hurting someone just so we could be happy together). The ex boyfriend did forgive him after 7yr's but there relationship was never the same again. ME (like the girl you told us about) Even though I regret hurting the ex boyfriend, I new that I was not happy with him and didn't want to date him anymore. Sure maybe I sholdn't have dated the friend but You know that guy tought me what it really feels like to be loved. I don't regret that relationship at all I just regret having to hurt someone else. To this day I still love the friend and want to be with him. I can't help but to wonder if the girl you are talking about really loves your friend because if she did then I don't think that she would have ever slept with you. These feelings are not going to go away you and as selfish as it may sould if you really love her tell her and try to be with one another. Even though your relationship started out wrong don't think about that if you can just try to make things work with her. Things are never going to be the same between the three of you again you can never go back to the way it was. You should tell your friend that you are sorry even though chances are it will take time before he will forgive you. Hope that I could help you. Try to move forward and not stay in the past, this is'nt the easyest way to start a relationship but if the two of you love each other you can make it work. The truth is the damage is already done and if you love this girl you may beable to keep her as a best friend and a girlfriend, insted of lossing both of them all together.

Ok I'm going to be truthful and not hold back here: Looks do matter but for example, people tend to be attracted to the other sex that is the same catigory so to speek. I'll use my self as a example: I look at my self as a 7 in the one out of ten looks department. I would never go for a guy that is a 10 even though he looks great and I can't help but to stair at him, Reasons is because if he's a 10 chances are he knows it and the men that I have dated that are ten's act like it to and thats a big turn off to me. I don't want to date a guy that spends more time in the bathroom then me. Looks are what first attracts us to someone and them we get to know the person and there personality and thats what tell's us if we want to date this guy or not. I'm not sure how old you are but this dose matter because if you are in your twentys and looking to date girls in there twentsys, these girls are looking for different things in a man and a relationship then a girl in her later twentys. For example the girls that are looking for the nice car may be the ones that are younger (not saying all girls this age do). If the girl is in late twentys she is looking for someone that has the same goals and plans in life. This is a big facter. People like to get from a relationship what they are going to give. I don't know you so I'm just going to give you some examples of why I ture a guy down from the state even if he is good looking. If he tells me that he is still living at home and is 25yrs old. This tells me that he is in no hurry to cut the strings from mom any time soon. If he hasn't moved out yet he hasn't had some imported life experinces yet and I don't look forward to teaching someone at this point in the game of life. If he dosen't have any goals at his job and his type of job can tell a girl alot, as fare as if he is going to be a motivated person. If he dose this tells me that he want's things out of life and is working hard to get them (not saying that I'm a gold digger because remember people look for someone that is going to give what they are going to give.) I look for this because I know that those are the things that I want in life and work hard each day to get them not because I want someone to give them to me, but help each other to get there. It is very important to be your self in a relationship and if the girls that you meet don't like that #### them. You would not be happy with her eather in the long run if you have to pretend to be someone your not. The idea about asking a female friend advice is good. One more thing that may sound kind of stupied but, when you talk to or ask these girls out u don't have to have the nice name brand close on but I'm sure that you know you have to be clean right, hair nice, teeth brushed all that kind of stuff. When you first talk to a girl, really listen to her, and respond to what she is saying. This is just in case you are getting nervce and talking about your self the whole time, because this can be a big turn off from the start. Compliment the girl, girls love that you notice things about them and even if they are dateing someone she may think that you are a nice guy and interduce you to one of her friends. Don't look for a date from a girl right away, sit back and see what girl interestes you and who you think that you would have fun with. then spend some time with her ask her to go do something with you . Make a point to say that this is not a date but that you would just like to get to know her as a fried. Chances are she will say yes and she will be wondering why you didn't want to ask her on a date. Alot of relationships are started this way. Plus this way you will get to know her better and make sure you really like her. Be on your best behavior and open doors all that kind of stuff, this way she will know what a great guy u r. Friendships offten turn in to the best of relationship cuz to have a good relationship you must have a good friendship first.

It all depends, I'm guessing that she was the one that broke up with you and you now still like her and may even want a relationship agian. In this case the card was enough, If she is interested she will call you to thank you for the card. Now if you where the one that broke up with her, you can call her to wish her a happy B-day, this way she will know that you still like her and where not just being a nice guy by sending the card. Eather way if she is a polite person she wil call you and say thanks for the card, in less you did somethink to really hurt her and she is trying to move on. In this case she still would like you but would know that you are all wrong for her and she is still trying to get over you.

Love I'm not sure it true love after only two weeks. What your in is Like. You and this guy really like each other and enjoy talking and spending time with one another. If your just getting over a brake up may be you need to spend some time alone for awhile to know what you really wanting in a relationship (that works for me) if it truly is what this guy has then work from there....

You don't want to lower you standerds on who you will date before you have ever dated a guy. Are you sure that one of your guy friends aren't interested in you? Very offten when guys hang out with girls, even if they didn't know they liked her at first they do in time. Is there a guy friend that you like more then a friend? If so hang out with him alone some time, he may tell you things that he has wanted to but couldn't cuz the guys where around. Don't just let friends set you up with guys that your not interested in, a bad relationship is NO better then no relationship at all. Look out side the group of friends that you are hanging out with, is there a guy that you think would be fun to hang out with. there is nothing wrong with asking a guy out. If he dose say no try not to take it to heart cuz there will be more of these before you find Mr. Right. If you don't take a chance then you will never know what you a missing out on.

It's not a big deal and I agree that you don't have to tell her right away. I'm not saying that you should lie to her, but if she dosent ask don't tell her. I'm a girl and I can truthfuly tell you that the first time you are with someone new or if it's your first time all together, First times are not that great because your both nervice, not sure what the other person likes, ect...... The good sex comes when you are in love with each other and have been together many times, then you both know all the right places. When a girl says that a guy dosent know how to kiss it has nothing to do with the amount of girls that he has kissed. You see what one girl likes another may not, don't be afreid to ask her how she likes to be kisses, the same go's for sex, this is a very common question in bed. You always want to know what the other person likes so you can make them feel as good as posible. Not saying that you should talk the whole time but when you doing something just ask her if that feels good or if there is something that she would like better. If she tells you what she likes she is not saying that she dosent like what you are doing just that something else is better. The more open you are to a girl and listen to her wants and need the better lover you will become. To her and to other girls, alot of times we like the same things.

First of all I would like to say that I really like your Quote. As for Mike it sounds like he is not taking what Reuben says about you to heart. If you are still bothered by it I would tell Mike what you think, but I would he him not to be friends with Reuben cuz I think that would be asking to much. Just don't hang out with mike when he is around reuben . Mike should under stand why you don't want to be around him. Good Luck

I know that it's hard when you looked at a ex as a best friend. I'm not sure why the two of you broke up but if your missing her and hopeing to get back together some day then I'm guessing that she broke it off. sense it has been three month, you could give her a call and start a new relationship as friends if you think that you would be ok with that and who knows may be spending time together will remind you both of what you had together and you'll get back together. Good Luck