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sisterlynch

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Everything posted by sisterlynch

  1. sisterlynch
    He isn't married or anything? How old is he? How old is the kid?
  2. sisterlynch
    How does he know her? Thru work or an activity that they share? Why would he tell you, what is he hoping to gain? Having your lifestyle to maintain isn't really the basis of a true marriage or partnership is it? If you are living outside of his love and fantasy already, why would you wish to stay in that type of a relationship? What is he offering to you, other than the appearance that everything is ok?
  3. sisterlynch
    She is freaking out for other reasons. If your dad is accepting of the guy, and you are jumping thru every hoop for her and she isn't happy still, then let her go emotionally. Don't hear her. She will get the point really quickly that she isn't there for you anymore. She may just grow up as a result. You are 20, and you deserve respect. Tell her that over and over like a broken record. Talk to any other adults that she may listen to. Like an aunt or unlce that she may trust. Her actions are emotionally driven and fear based. That is wrong.
  4. sisterlynch
    I am close to the age of the guy and I would not see a young man that young as sexual in the very least. Obviously, I can judge their personality and their intelligence, but to look at that boy of 16 or 17 as a sexual being is wrong. I know that girls mature early and all that other justification, I also know that it is morally wrong for someone my age to see a teen as a sexual object. Have you noticed that the news is full of girls that are kidnapped and killed by strangers? Why would you run away from a perfectly good house into the arms of a strange man? You need to tell your mom and dad about this guy, before it is too late. PS According to my developmental psych book, you aren't going to be fully mature until the age of 22. Can he wait 5 or 6 years of no contact, then see how it goes when you are old enough to know better?
  5. sisterlynch
    Can you try and tell her in some way how you are feeling? How much weight has she gained? She is probably eating for emotional reasons, try and ask how she is feeling, and maybe allow her to get some of her feelings out.
  6. sisterlynch
    Of course I am generalizing, but I think that you are asking too much of these women too quickly. WE all fantacize about the perfect spouse or boy friend, but then the reality isn't living up to the fantacy, we feel disappointed. A woman can't make you feel whole, if you aren't already pretty well off to begin with. You may project onto these women what you think you want them to say and feel, but when they can't do what you want, without asking, you are dissappointed and say that they are not accomodating to you. Did you read the quote about someone who was defining the different types of "men" that they are encountering. The ideal guy to them is married!! Try and live up to that as a single guy!! Go on try it!! I am kidding you!! There is no real right or wrong answer. Try and find a nice simple wholesome girl. That is what you want -- isnt it?
  7. sisterlynch
    There are some ways to gain confidence, and look your best. I have a feeling that she is just telling you that she wants a friendship and nothing more. You should ignore her for a few days and see if she gets the idea. You can appear aloof, without making yourself seem shy. Look at how really good looking people behave, like they are waiting at a bus stop...sometimes the bus is for them, sometimes it isn't. Knowing the right bus is out there and that you will find it when it comes, builds confidence and helps you gain some experience.
  8. sisterlynch
    Maybe you are expecting too much. Dating is supposed to be fun, spontaneous, enjoyable, exciting. That is what women really go for, is romance. In my Gender differences class a few years ago, a guy was telling us how he was taught to talk to women about buying a car, they were supposed to put on a false idea about what the car will do to them, how they will love cleaning it and making it feel special in their garage, of course I am paraphrasing what he said... The point is that if this happens to you constantly, then you can't really ask all women to accommodate their ideas and behavior to you. I think that you are confusing your terms...assimilation is what occurs in the beginning of a relationship, you need to move in on women slowly, so slowly that they don't realize that you are moving in....figuratively so to speak. accommodation is after the relationship is going to a while, then you can ask them to pick up your laundry or your child at day care...not in the very beginning, mon dieu, man!
  9. sisterlynch
    Please don't meet him You should be suspicious and expect the worst. Don't be gullible.
  10. sisterlynch
    What was the joke that you wrote to her? Sometimes when we seem to be our meanest, we are really seeking out the other person's boundaries. My sense is that she was trying to make you angry just because she wanted to see how you would react to her being a brat.
  11. sisterlynch
    What attracted you to him in the first place? How did you and he meet?
  12. sisterlynch
    Can you call him?
  13. sisterlynch
    I just meant to be careful. If he has a kid, then he has a past that may look ok now, but it may be something to avoid in the future. That is just my idea, you don't need to follow it at all. Ask him to define himself is like -- is he presenting himself like a real individual, or does he seem like he is too good to be true? Remember that the way that you are feeling is your body's chemicals reacting to a new and different situation. Those chemicals will die down in a year or two. Not too romantic, am I?? You just may be swept up in something that is hard to handle. So go slowly. Don't give in to your emotions too quickly. I know that it isn't cool advice and not what you really wanted to hear...
  14. sisterlynch
    I think that your parents are feeling conflicted about how to treat him. It must feel like an invasion to them to see that you are in a relationship that may have sexual overtones. You need to be patient with them all. Try not to take sides, his side over their's. Try to stay neutral in front of them. Treat him like a brother or friend when the parents are there. This might make them feel more secure. Try and picture yourself being their ages and your daughter is dating someone seriously....
  15. sisterlynch
    I have taken it in the past and I felt that it was a little strong. I tend to be moody and that drug got rid of all my moods, completely, good moods, bad moods, indifferent. Being a woman, I felt weird and disfunctional without access to all my brain cells. It changed me too much, it added extra pounds that I had a hard time with as well. Go to the doc and get an alternative. There are plenty. Take a break from the medication to get it out of the system, and then see how it goes. PS Sorry to those who don't agree with my advice!
  16. sisterlynch
    It is time to put the past behind you. Answering the calls of the other man will just make him think that you still like him. I really think that you should tell your husband, of course it will not be easy for him to hear, but you owe him your respect, and that is the only way that he can earn your respect is by hearing how you have been feeling. Go to counseling a few times, get your ideas, and your story straight, then bring him to counseling so that he can know what he has been missing these past 3 years.
  17. sisterlynch
    Be patient, the right girl is out there, it is just hard to find now a days.
  18. sisterlynch
    If I were you, I would wait until he does another thing to say anything to him. Always watch him out of the corner of your eye. Correct him for every small infringement of the rules. Pretty soon he will come to trust you. For him, hurting others is normal behavior. He sees nothing wrong with it. Psychology Today just had an article about this type of behavior that is called "Sociopath"...is the boy in counseling? He should be! When you correct him, be precise about what the correction is...I don't want you to touch Curtis, Henry don't touch him, he touches him again -- time out.... You can learn to get along with kids like this, it takes time, energy and hypervigilance. Have you ever read about dog training? Have you ever heard about the broken record technique?
  19. sisterlynch
    It sounds like she is moving on.
  20. sisterlynch
    I think that the way that you are feeling is normal, but you are letting your emotions get too powerful, You need to find some ways of relaxing yourself when you are in a moving emotional situation. You can try to picture something that makes you feel happy when you are in the midst of a crisis. Think of someone you love, dad or someone like that, giving you a psychic hug, an invisible hug. Picture the hug now, so that you will know how it feels the next time. Take your feelings for the married adult teacher and put them into someone your own age. Make that new person your object of desire.
  21. sisterlynch
    I am sorry if this is a lame question, but what exactly made you get upset? Something on the film that they were making, but I couldnt catch what you saw that upset you. Is it something about the teacher being married already?
  22. sisterlynch
    I just noticed that you are only 15, experimenting with sex and already feeling disappointed. The other people that you are having sex with are probably not that experienced in what they are doing, also if you are not in a relationship, then you are not gaining the communication skills necessary to grab a decent person and keep them. I would place less emphasis on the physical aspects of love and more on the emotional aspects of love. Eventually you and your partners will make things ok for you. You need to really think hard about what you are doing, and what you are getting from the person that you are encountering in the bedroom. If you don't like what they are doing or you want more emotional affection, then pick a guy that is more like a friend to have sex with.
  23. sisterlynch
    I would go slowly into this relationship. Ask him to define himself...ask him so many questions that he is caught off guard. Dont fall in love too quickly.
  24. sisterlynch
    Sex without emotions is unappealing to most of us. To be physically intimate with another person and not share an emotional intimacy must feel very degrading. Why give sex without sharing a deeper understanding with one another? It really doesn't make sense.
  25. sisterlynch
    He is in charge of his feelings. He shouldn't be making you feel guilty for being married. Maybe let him know that you value his imput, but that you will not allow friends to come between the relationship with your spouse.
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