sisterlynch

anything going on in your head should be checked out. You may need some migrane medication. We are all different.

His behavior is inappropriate. He is just a friend, so I don't see why he needs to act like that. I find it disrespectful. It seems like he is trying to control you.

I would distance myself from those people and allow yourself to heal for a while. You can't expect to get better if they keep on reminding you of your own hardships...it is a kind of aggression that they are playing on your emotions. You will need to talk things out with them. Tell them that they are judging the situation from an outside position, and that they will never understand what he really did to hurt you.

I think that you maybe allowed a married woman to believe that she stood a chance with you by allowing her to still write to you....but you were single then, right? Later the girl who broke up with you was upset that you had been party to adultery?? If that isn't correct, then I don't know...

I think that you should ask him about it out of the blue. Make the conversation steer toward dating and marriage in general, then ask him if he plans on getting married in the future. He may have some past history with a married woman -- that he is worried about reliving. Otherwise, I wouldnt assume too much from his actions or lack of actions in meeting your spouse.

It seems like you have a pretty good sense of what it is that people normally talk about and say to one another.

Maybe you could use Nair or wax it off.

Was he born this way, or did it happen little by little over the years? Did he damage his hearing some how?

You asked what she is doing, not having much of a self identity. She may have grown up with low self esteem, and she gains self esteem by being in relationships with guys that have a strong sense of self. This gives her confidence, direction, self esteem, self worth. I would call it dependent personality or codependent personality. If she is unhappy, then a few rings to the therapist may be in order. If she is fine, and seems happy in other ways, she is probably ok in general.

The truth is that you never really know until it is time to know. This is how we gain experience in this world, is by waiting and wondering and predicting. When we notice a change, there may be other things that are going on...we really shouldn't jump to conclusions. Also, this is a big one, stories should make sense. Think about what he is saying when he comes home late. Tell him that you worry about him, and that he should have a cell phone that you can get in touch with him if he is late.

They are best left alone. Anything that you say or do can and will be held against you, so dont let them see you at your worst. Try and be as neutral as posible in the way that you handle their grilling or negativity. They can be completely naive or brutally negative. Let most of it go, don't argue with them over politics, money, or religion, not only is it not their business, it will only make you look bad. Just nod and listen to their comments. Think of them as the boss that was hired to separate the two of you!!!

Montreal is a great city!! I want to go there now!! Hey, hockeyboy, any thoughts on the Canseco book??

I think that the biggest draw back to cheating would be trying to explain it to others. You marry for better or worse, not until someone cuter or richer comes along. I couldn't look my partner in the face and tell him...that is just it. If I could, then I probably would, but I really don't think that I could ever hurt someone who does nothing but love me and treat me well. I am sure that some people can justify cheating, but I couldn't, so I won't...

You sure are living in a good world...what country were you in?

It is not a bad poem, really; however, it is hard to read certain things. This poem has a very stong sense of imagery, making a picture in your head with words.

That sounds like a very good book. I think that part of growing up is realizing that you can't have everything that you see that looks good, so you might as well love the one that you are with. I think that life affects our hormones and we are not always free to tell others what we are feeling or thinking...so we get locked into role playing which isn't very satisfying to others. We need to be aware of ourself in the world. Look life in the face and don't turn away from the suffering of others.

The real thing to think about is how is he treating you, and if you have children how is he treating them. Just working late and going out with the boys more on its own isn't so bad. It is the amount of time that he gives to you and his time at home, if it is quality or not.

If the original poster is still on, what are some of the signs that she is seeing that she is concerned about?

You are both right, I do believe that the attraction that we feel when we SEE someone new is more of an infatuation, than anything else, yes, lust does fall under that category. It takes a while before something more than lust or attraction will form. This is why romance and many other infatuations will slow down as you age, you grow more accostomed to dealing with people and their many looks and personality types. In general, if you give anyone or anything time, they should go thru the variety of emotions... People who hate very strongly, I feel like this is often the opposite of lust, or a repulsion toward another individual based upon things that they do or say that remind you of someone or something else that you hate or have hated in the past. The truth is that these are all emotions that we can slowly learn to control as you are going through the same experiences over and over...do you ever do that? Feel like you are getting drawn in to the same games or annoyances over and over? You are realizing too late that the same bad feelings that you have had before are returning in a similar instance, like greed, lust, depression, any lack of control comes from not being assertive in the first place or giving in too easily or being too nice or a push over. These are all common feelings to all of us, and we can conquer them all eventually, but we need to see the situation for what it is, clearly and without denial. Then take steps to stop the interruption in the good times. To defeat the inturruption on some deep level.

A lot of the questions that I have seen seem to deal with how quickly to move in a relationship. Most of the time, one person is feeling the drive and not the other. You need to be very kind and gentle to the other person while they are figuring out how they feel about you. Try not to move to quickly. We all make snap descisions, all the time, and the less time you spend thinking about something, the more likely that you will feel some regrets. Go for a new relationship, like you would for anything else, in a slow and steady manner.

Every guy is a little different, so every relationship is going to be a little different. You should handle it as a learning experience, go in with an open heart, and if he likes it he likes it, if he doesn't --figure out why he didn't like it.

College is sort of a bridge between high school and the real world of working and all that. You can ask her to get some coffee with you, you could ask her to a movie, or to a sporting event...anything that you would feel really comfortable doing. As far as holding hands, etc, I would but that off as much as possible. You don't want to get rejected, and if you try and hold hands right away, she may not like it or she might feel uncomfortable. Keep it very casual, then let her make some of the moves.

Hey Cleverme!! It is time to move on, this guy is no good, you don't want to get hurt emotionally or physically. I think you need to get moving...If you don't move, he may hurt your more and more.

You are looking at her as if she needs you, this is a common ploy among people who do this. They create a sense of vulnerablity about themselves, which I fear is just an act. If she is a real sensative creature, then she would still be with you, not off smoking with someone else. Adults dont behave in this manner. I feel that you deserve better, it is just a matter of finding someone that you can interact with on an equal level. She isn't the one. I know that is hard to accept, but you need to learn from this, and look at her behavior, not the things that she said.

If you have only noticed her for a few days, then I would say that putting your arm around her might be a little premature. She may have a bf. She may have other privacy issues that you should be more aware of before you invade her physical space. Try and let her initiate the hug.