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  1. Hi All, thanks for reading. I have been with my girlfriend for 4 years. We are engaged to be married next year and have just bought our dream house together. I get on ok with her mother but i am struggling to hide how much i dislike her from my partner. I love her dad though he is brilliant. Firstly, she (MIL) is rude, very abrupt, when i first met her she couldnt have been less interested in making a first impression. I have been raised to always be very polite. She treats my 26 yr old girlfriend like a baby, arranges to go to her medical appointments with her, still bought her underwear until she moved out, used to read personal valentines and birthday cards id sent her. When she moved out, made her take all her Disney stuffed teddy's and kids toys but told her she cant throw them away. She facetimes her atleast twice a day everyday and texts all day in between, and complains when we do things without her. Wants constant updates on the work we are doing in our house. We went on our first holiday overseas and because we didnt invite her she booked the exact holiday in the exact hotel a few months later and took my girlfriend with her. I took my gf to LA to propose (we live in the uk) her mum also wanted to come with us. She comments on anything we post on social media about how she didnt get an invite, how we do things without her. If we go shopping somewhere, she asks that she comes with us next time. She wants to be involved in all the wedding plan's and doesnt ask to come to our appointments, just tells us she is coming. She pressured my gf into having her cousin as bridesmaid at our wedding. She has spoke about buying a house nearer to us. She lives 30 minutes away but asked which room in our new house is for when she stays over. And then is the embarrasing stuff, she spits when she talks, so going out for a meal with her is uncomfortable, she will sit in a dress with her legs far too open because she is quite large and cant fold one over the other but will be showing everything. She belches all the time. When she invites us around for a meal, she plates the food up with her bare hands, and i once saw her do that after "adjusting" her underwear. Quite honestly, my biggest issue is that she repulses me and i am so uncomfortable around her. But i would never be rude to her, nor do i want to upset my partner in telling her how I feel. Help?
  2. I'm a 28-year-old man. My future father-in-law wants to leave me with a legacy of his thriving business, but he wants something in return. Why does he want me to take on my fiancée's surname?
  3. I really need a backbone, some ca-ho-nays or whatever! But HOW TO NOT BE PASSIVE/aggressive is the reason for my life I think. My daughter had an open sore on the top of her head. i think it was bug bite she scratced open. Perfect grounds for impetigo I KNOW!! My mother-in-law told me a hundred times! We put some topical antibitic stuff on it and it was healing quite well. But, as healing can sometimes itch, she scratched it open again. Well now (according to my mother-in-law) it's infected, she needs to see a Dr., it's impetigo and she's going to lose her hair! And all because I'm a crappy mum and my daughter had cradle cap SO BADLY and for SO MANY YEARS!! My daughter is 4! She couldn't have had cradle cap for THAT many years even if she really did ever have it. SO once again, my dilemma is.....HOW can I see into the future to determine how my telling off my mother-in-law will affect our already rocky relationship?? Should I not care? Is there a way to tell her delicately to back off? She is always going to be the grandmother of my children. She is always going to want to be involved. Me not going to their family things, is not a big deal. I don't mind skipping them at all. My husband doesn't even want to go more than half the time. But his family are always going to want to see the kids. So....what are my options here? I can't keep talking to her and feeling like crap after each conversation! THING IS - i can't stop taking it personally. I KNOW and have seen, that she treats and talks to EVERYONE this way. AARGGGHH!!! She's annoying. I'm frustrated and feel like never talking to her again.
  4. Whilst in NY a week ago, we left our kids with my mother-in-law. She is a wonderful grandmother and a decent person. Let me start there. BUT....( She's crazy! Just tell me if you think this is odd behaviour or how you think you would handle this. As soon as we get back, she starts on and on about how she bought the kids new shoes because, "argh" she was soooo mad that my son's shoe's were WAY too small for him and he was crying every time she tried to put them on. He's 2. She took him immediately to get measured and couldn't believe that he was the same size as my 4 year old! Wow. I was shocked. I'm just sitting in the car, straight from the airport, just listening to her ramble. My daughter scratched a sore on the top of her head before we left. Now, according to mother-in-law, it's infected and my daughter needs to be taken to the urgent care asap. Wow. Again, I'm shocked. I leave for 6 days and my son's feet grow 2 sizes and my daughters healing sore becomes grotesquely infected! Oh - and I'm supposed to call her and tell her where the store that we buy our eldest's school uniforms is because last year's uniforms are "just filthy and gross" Disgusting." When I was out of the car and able, I checked out my son's new shoes. They are two sizes too big!! His feet haven't grown at all! Where are HIS shoes that fit him. There was so much shoe NOT being used I could've made a whole other shoe for someone else with it! I was furious. He's learning to walk in them, because they're spider man and he loves them, but he does occasionally trip because they're like little boats on his feet. AND SHE THREW OUT HIS OLD ONES!!! My daughter's head was absolutely fine. The sore was still there but it was a scab. We put Neosporin on it and it's gotten even better! What the heck? My husband says she prolly had a hard time putting on our son's shoes, got impatient and frustrated so instead of admitting it was her inability, she blames me. Nice. He says I should respond with the same level of ridiculousness. I don't have his wit or level of comfort "putting her in her place." My husband is the only person I've ever seen make her feel as stupid as she makes others feel. Anyway - aside from all of her exaggertaing - the part I really want to call her on is that SHE LIED!! She said she measured his feet. She said she took him to the store, put his feet in the thing and he measured a size 10! Obviously she didn't. She couldn't have because he's NOT. You can put his foot up to the bottom of the shoe and see how HUGE it is! But now we have to go and buy him new shoes that actually fit him because she threw his old tennis shoes away. Am I just as guilty of over re-acting as she is?? How do I tell and show her that she is completely off her rocker! Should I let it go or is that why it's gotten this bad? Cuz I keep letting it go? She lied! Straight up lied. I don't get it.
  5. Hi- I've never done this before, so please bear with me... I just have reached a point where I feel like I can't keep this all inside of me anymore. I have a great family, etc., but nobody that I can talk about this to. It's been a year and a half since my husband and I split up, and I'm in a new relationship with a man who I am really happy with. Most of the time I am content and excited for my new life... but it seems like a part inside of me won't let go of the pain and loss feelings about my husband. All of a sudden, I get this terrible pang of missing Matt, so bad I almost can't breathe. He is with someone new as well, and we have both moved to new towns, so it's not from running into him or anything. I just loved him so very much, and was still in love with him when I left. The driving force behind me leaving was that my in-laws had moved in with us shortly after we moved in together, and what was supposed to be short term lasted two more years until I left. My father-in-law was wonderful, but my mother-in-law was really hard to deal with. Not an exaggeration, either... her mother and sister had repeatedly tried to have her hospitalized for mental instability. It had reached the point where she would actually come into my bedroom or bathroom unannounced and yell at me for things that never happened, etc. Shortly after our wedding Matt became a contractor, and he and his dad would leave on jobs for weeks at a time, leaving me and his mom at home. After several months of that, I put my foot down and refused to have a child under the circumstances. Matt was very eager to have a family, and several large fights ensued. Finally, I couldn't take it and left. The only problem is that I was still very in love with my husband... who refused to have his mom move out or come home to protect me. So I never really got any closure on my feelings. While I hated how the situation was, I knew that I couldn't make a life like that. Is it normal to still have feelings like this? It's hard... I love my new guy very much, and I feel guilty for missing Matt sometimes. I just really loved Matt with all my heart, and I know he loved me very much. Sometimes I get the picture of him with tears streaming down his face as I told him I was leaving, and I feel sick. Like I abandoned him. How do I let this go? Thanks for listening.
  6. I have a hard time conveying my "actual" feelings to my mother-in-law. If you've ever seen Everybody Loves Raymond, you've seen my life. AND my mother-in-law actually used to live right next door to us! Ok, but now... SHE JUST DRIVES ME NUTS! Well, that by itself isn't abnormal. As I learned from the Ray show, a lot of similar situations are out there. She re-washes my kids, their clothes, buys their clothes, makes comments about my lack of ability to keep a clean house and she takes care of my husband like he's still her little baby! Its sick. Those things I guess are sometimes tolerable. My husband always says why get upset about her buying them clothes? Now we don't have to. Am I a freak because that bothers me?? The thing I'm having a hard time with is dealing with it with HER, or facing her. I don't think she has any idea that a lot of those things she does bothers me. I know she notices the occasional friction, but I have never actually said, "please don't do that." And I have NO idea why. I've tried in a passive-aggressive really destructive way by making sarcastic comments or taking bizarre stands at the kids birthday parties or the like, but I haven't been able to really let her know how I feel. And how I feel is that I am not her child and my husband and I can manage on our own, like the grown-ups we are. I feel she doesn't think we're doing a good enough job and she has to take over to compensate. I haven't been able to determine yet if I am just being hyper-sensitive because I'm insecure about my abilities OR if she's too overbearing. Maybe its a combo... I guess what I'm looking for is what is the best way to deal with this? She's a super control, neat-freak, AND when cornered or confronted totally shuts down. Walks away. Closes herself off. (I've seen her do it with other people.) And I'm the most passive person on the planet, go ahead, look it up in Guiness...I don't, can't, deal with confrontation. ESPECIALLY initiating confrontation. Any advice, words or wisdom, relatable tales, suggestions or any other comments?? Mother-in-law perspective perhaps??
  7. During sex with my wife I fantasize about other women. Not all the time but here lately quite a bit. Usually these fantasies are sexual memories from my early teen years but recently I have been having thoughts of sleeping with my mother in law. Although she is 67 she is one fine looking women. Great shape and the experience that comes with age I feel she would be one wild role in the hay. Strange or what?
  8. For the third time this year my MIL has landed her butt in the hospital because she decides taking her meds is not something she needs to do based on side effects and the fact that doctors are stupid ( based on the fact that well she knows everything since she went to school till she was 15) ( sarcasm🙄) She admitted as much yesterday to me. She didn’t take her meds three times this year and ended up in the hospital. She’s so stubborn and stupid to the point she’s probably going to kill herself. This is more of a rant than anything. She is causing my husband so much grief and worry.
  9. Hello please forgive my writing as English as not my first language. My name is Peter, I am 26 years old and have a 5 year old daughter. I live in Asia and want to give some background. In my last year of high school I began dating my wife. I am sorry if I get wordy now as I can feel the overwhelming pain washing over me. When I started dating my wife my world was very empty. My mother died when I was a child and my father fell into a deep depression and alcoholism. My life at home was very unstable. I was not dealing well with my mother's death in my own way and by the time I was 17 it seemed inevitable that I would be a loser. I was not doing well in school (there is very lots of pressure to be a good student where I live), I had no close friends, and I would go months at a time without accomplishing a single goal or having even 1 productive day. When I met my wife she was repeating her final year due to illness she had experienced. She was very kind to me. She introduced me to things I am passionate about today like music and ice hockey and she introduced me to many eventual friends who made my last year of high school the best one by far. My grades even went up. My dad was arrested shortly before graduation and I moved in with my wife's family for the next few months. I was able to find work as an electrical technician (because of a connection my wife introduced me to in high school!) and eventually rented a nice place and moved out. My wife and I married the next year and a couple years later she became pregnant. We were overjoyed. As the pregnancy progressed my wife became more and more ill and our doctor recommended terminating. We discussed it at length and I tried to persuade her but ultimately she recovered her health somewhat and decided to birth my daughter. My wife died shortly after giving birth. I am not proud to admit that when my wife died I succumbed to a deep depression. I became the person I was before we met. The only thing I was able to grind myself through every day was work. In the last 5 years I have seen my daughter only a handful of times as she lives with the parents of my wife. I saw my mother in law a couple weeks ago and she persuaded me to go on a family trip with her, her husband and my daughter. After she invited me I actually went home and cried because for a moment it felt like I was back in their family, with my wife and all. I took a day off work (yesterday) so that we could take the trip. When I arrived at their home they were not there, only two train tickets and my daughter. They said they would meet us there but I had my doubts. The train ride was very awkward. It pains me to say that I do not know my daughter very well. When we arrived in the countryside I bought her a small toy at the station as she seemed a little bored and I thought it might help end the awkwardness. We went to a nearby bay, I had been to the same one with my wife and our friends in high school. My daughter loved it. I taught her how to swim, we built sand sculptures, we even caught some frogs in the nearby fields. I had a great time as well. As I rested on the sand watching her play I noticed her become confused and run back to me. She lost her toy. We looked and looked but could not find it, I think it must have fallen into the ocean? When I told her I would buy her another one, she wanted to keep looking. We looked for a while longer but still nothing. I assured her I wasn't mad and that it was ok. She told me that's not why she wanted to find it, but rather she wanted to find it because it was the first thing her daddy had bought her. It was the first time she had ever called me that and I don't have the english words to describe how it made me feel. At this moment I realized just how horrible and disgusting I am. I am no better than my father. I am failing my daughter the same way he failed me and that is not fair to my daughter, my in-laws, but especially to me and my wife and the promises and dreams we had made. When we got back to our room she began asking me about her mother. I could not stop the tears from flowing here. We cried together and I let her know that sometimes it is ok to cry and apologized if seeing me cry had scared her. We talked about her mother for hours, watching her face light up as she learned about her gave me a fulfilling feeling stronger than any one I had ever had before. We got back home today and I dropped her off with my in-laws to go to work. I am having tea with them tomorrow as I feel I need to talk to them. My whole life feels wasted. I cannot believe how blind I have been. I cannot believe I have become exactly what I vowed to never become. I am financially stable and there is room for my daughter where I live. I want my daughter to live with me (I'm sure my in-laws probably do too) but I do not want to do this too fast and appear reckless. Tomorrow I am planning to ask them if it would be alright if I started to see my daughter every day but how do I progress to eventually asking them if I can have custody again? I am not sure how to know when the time is right? I am not sure how long I should wait before they trust me? I am at a loss and do not know what to do. This is very hard on your own afterall. I know I only have me to blame for my circumstances though. What do you think? Should I just make my intentions known and allow us to move at their pace? Or should I not even bring up the word custody in the foreseeable future?
  10. We went to see my in-laws for mine and my MIL’s combined birthday. For the past year since my in-laws got really sick and have been needing a lot of care my sister-in-law has been incredibly rude to my husband.( her brother) Now keep in mind we live three hours away and they have refused all kind of outside help. Do not even bring it up with them it’s not even going to be considered. Anyway my sister-in-law has been increasingly rude to each visit . Yesterday she was 2 1/2 hours past the time she said she was going to be there without a call. Then after the meal when her mother was out of the room she says to my husband ,”get up here and help me with these dishes .” It was said in an extremely rude tone with no please or anything . In the past year my husband has not defended himself except this time and said don’t speak to me that way . She proceeded to say, really really I should have to ask you anything?” To which my husband said please would be nice . So she said please and he went to help and then here she proceeded to needle him some more and then told him in an extremely rude tone told him to ,”shut up .” At the point my son and I our mouths fell open . I burst into tears. I ADORE my husband and hate to see him disrespected by that spoiled little snot. I have never cried at my in-laws house in my life so that was embarrassing . My husband keeps letting this behaviour go. However, I can’t tolerate it. I have never seen adult siblings act like that . However ,I can’t go to Boxing Day if this is how she’s going to act. She can ruin her own Christmas if that’s how she wants to be .
  11. I have a question about my mother. Let me start off by saying I love my mother so much and would do anything I could for her. I am currently living with my husband and my in-laws ( temporarily). My mother has been going through a rough time lately , my step-dad left - she never worked I was young and in college at the time so we couldn't afford to pay the rent there or anywhere else this was about 6 yes ago. She recently moved, rented a room from a guy she met on Craigslist, she has been there about 5 months and now she's always complaining about him , talking about the way he treats her but she does that with everybody she lives with- she tends to play the victim. Recently she's been saying he wants her out. She asked if she can stay at my in-laws ,we initially told her Dec 1st but I don't think my husband wants her here , he keeps saying she can move in but when the time comes he just makes all types of excuses. My family is coming to me saying don't tell her you're going to do something and not do it. I have no issue with her staying here but this is not my house . I don't even want to stay here. My mother is getting very upset and tells me all these stories about the man she's staying with making me feel bad but there's nothing I can do. She doesn't really have anybody else but this situation is out of my hands. If it was my place I would've been let come stay. I'm just feeling so guilty and I feel upset because it looks like I'm telling my mom she can move in but then it never happens because like I said there's always an excuse. I would give my mom The world if I could but I just feel so terrible because I can't force anybody to let her move in. I need to know how other people would feel in this situation and how they would handle it.
  12. Hi all, My wife and I dont get along when it comes to matters of in-laws.Infact I can safely say that she becomes abusive even though both sets of parents have been wrong.Now I have got a job in another city . do I take up that job?? do u think the relationship will get spoilt more? Please do reply as I am in a fix . Help and advice appreciated. Regards
  13. Some of you have read my previous posts. I am getting married and my fiance's mother has been less than accepting of me thus far. We've been together for over a year and engaged for five months, and she has never really had any encouragment for us. Aaron and I had set the date for August 20, 2006, almost 19 months from our engagement day. But it's been driving us crazy, all the waiting. So, last week, we decided we were sick of being apart. So we are getting married this year on September 17. He was sooo afraid to tell his mom! He has been putting it off as long as possible. He was really stressing out and it was stressing ME out! Well he finally told his mom last night... Her response: "Enthused" and "all for this" were apparently two key phrases! LOL! I'm sooo happy that she's alright with this! It takes such a huge weight off of my chest.
  14. I am so tired of my husband's jerk father. He treats my mother in law like a house maid, she is aging very quickly lately and he still finds time to go fishing every weekeend. He keeps all his feelings to himself. When my son visits he either ignores my son or tries to control him with overwhelming rules. My husband has changed careers, which his father protested, and we have been doing much better, but still there is that cold north shoulder of a man who parented him for 16 years and is now or maybe always has been a mystery. My husband looks up to him and tries to treat him like a loving father. Yet, he expects no consideration from him in return. My father in law has worked in personel for hundreds of years. I guess he is successful. Is that what it takes to work in this society? You pour out all your emotions to your coworkers so that your family life suffers so much that people wish you were dead! He also treats the son who is 28 and still lives at home much better than the rest of us. Why does he act like this?
  15. It’s no secret. I am an introvert and don’t like company. In doses. Husband is a good man. We spent a lot of money doing up our home. Moved into a good suburban place and great for kids too. I had to spend 9 months living at in-laws. Wasn’t happy about this but there wasn’t a choice as we wanted to free up money from previous home to do the refurb. We were living with them, they would visit our house project daily too. I appreciate they cooked, and gave us a roof over our heads but missed our own space. I really struggled with all this. In the process, a house opposite me two doors down comes on the market His younger brother is not short of money; works out of town and lived there but bought the house as a investment initially. Fast forward, we moved. Happy. March..Covid happened..he moved with wife and kids In April opposite as tenant vacated and he was all of a sudden working from home. Was supposed to be temporary as they bought a flat out of town. However; working from home allowed him to make the decision to stay suddenly. Plus she is expecting again. This came as a shock to me. This whole summer, we have had his parents coming over ‘randomnly’ once a week unexpected. They don’t stop at mine as they know I’m not very happy about them just turning up. His siblings have too, turned up often this summer gone as now there are ‘Two’ brothers living close by. The youngest across the road and his wife are welcoming, very family orientated. Always calling the parents over. In one week, there were 3 times they once came! Due to him persisting on them visiting him. Now that he has decided to live here rather than move, due to work allowing him post-Covid to work from home on a flexible basis, he has made the decision to stay. Thankfully at the moment there are restrictions and with winter looking, family is less likely to visit. My in-laws now live alone (previously he lived out of town but visited every fortnight and sued to stay weekends with him with his family) Now that he lives separate (across the road from me)..his parents are more likely to visit. I don’t know how to accept or deal with this. I have had awful anxiety, and sometimes feel like the walls are closing in. I just can’t seem to get away. It’s like my in-laws are forever going to be continuously around. Is that really bad? What should I do?
  16. This weekend we were at my husband’s cousin’s place. She told me in private that my husband’s parents were extremely emotionally abusive to my husband and his sister . That their house was a house of hell and she has no clue how they became good people . ( my sister-in-law ,well, that’s debatable) I knew he was badly emotionally abused ,but she alluded to the fact it was much worse than I thought not that he will ever say that , ever. He is extremely loyal to his parents. I think because he is terrified of them . Should I just keep mum about this info ?
  17. Hello everyone, So my MIL passed away Monday morning at 2am. My husband and I took the 5 minute drive to say our goodbyes. I was due to go to work early that day, so I thought I'd stay to say my goodbyes and pay my respects to the family who cared for her at the time of her death. As time ticked on, the Dr came round to declare time of death and then the undertakers were called to collect her at 6am. The people present were my sister and brother in Law (her carers) and my husband and myself. So my sister in law and I agreed we should wash and dress her instead of total strangers, it is considered a final act of kindness before burial. I didn't think much of it at the time as I'd helped with some personal care toward the end of her life. But this was an hour and ten minutes of pure shock for me. I've never seen a dead body ever and it has left me really traumatized. I know it sounds very dramatic but I don't know how else to describe it. She went cold and stiff so quickly, her eyes wouldn't stay shut and her hands went black. I was so scared I was going to hurt but there she was dead in her bed. I tried to bend her arm into the top we chose for her but was just too preoccupied about her head just .... lulling with her mouth open. I didn't want to harm her incase she physically broke. She was extremely fragile at 80 yrs old. I'm glad I did it because we made her look like how she should look. We put glasses on her and brushed her hair. We put her cardigan on, which was her signature look. My husband and my Brother in Law just broke into raw emotion because she looked like their Mum and not the Ill, old lady in bed in a hospital gown. The reason for my post is to just talk about the experience. It's left me really stunned and I've barely uttered two words. I've hidden it as grief but in all honesty I'm just scared. I can't bare to be left alone because I'm just a bit frightened. I don't know what of.... But I feel weird. I loved her very much, knew her for 6 years but we became very, very close in the last year. I love that I have this gift of delivering their Mum as they knew her, I'm truly humbled but I can't get the images of her dead, naked body out of my head. Seeing death like that has just silenced me. I'm so sorry for the graphic nature of my post but I need to talk to someone, I can't talk to anyone here. I didn't go to work, I just came home and scrubbed my body in the shower, crying my eyes out. I just needed to get her scent off me. Will this numbness go away?
  18. Dear anyone who will listen, I recently had my baby son who I adore love and cherish more than anything in the whole world... well, I say recently, he is now 7.5 months old. But! Still very much a baby. The problem I have is coming from my husbands Mum. I haven't left my son with anyone but my husband for longer than a few hours. I just can't seem to bring myself to do it. I feel physically panicked and upset at even the thought of it. I recently breast fed him and have only just weaned him onto solids and formula milk. I think this made us very close and for 7 months solid I have solely fed him morning noon and middle of the night. I just dislike the way my mother in law constantly makes passive aggressive remarks like, "Oh I don't get to see you often!" to my son or "We don't see you round here much!" or "I hardly see him as it is" when she sees him every week almost as standard. They also are retired so could easily come to us as the 40 minute drive is much more hassle with a baby, but then they complain about traffic yet won't make the drive up to see us often, yet then she goes and complains that she "hardly sees him." It really gets me as my own mother sees him much less and she never complains. She understands juggling help with my husbands business, managing a large house and cleaning it myself, being the sole carer for my son often (because my husband works away) and then trying to maintain a slight social life and still see friends now and then just means everything can be a bit much. She often heavily hints about "when he stays over" and "I thought about giving you our old baby gate but thought no, I'll need it for when he stays here" etc. and I find it very presumptous. I desperately DO NOT want to leave him, especially with her, anytime soon. She told me that she knew a girl who never left her children and they are 1 years old now and how terrible and freaky that was and she always tells me how good it is for babies to get used to other people. I feel like again, she is passively aggressively telling me I need to let go. Another small worry but they have a dog I don't 100% trust around a small baby and I just don't feel comfortable handing him over to anyone other than my husband and maybe my own mother. Maybe that sounds bad but it's just honestly how I feel. My husband thinks I have some sort of anxiety and that I need to give up some control so we can go out to eat on a date etc. I understand where he is coming from completely and I know I will have to do this at some point but I cannot lie, it fills me with sheer dread. So much dread that I have been waking up constantly at night in cold sweats from panic ridden dreams where my son disappears or is kidnapped while someone else looks after him. They are horrendous and starting to affect my mood throughout the day. I want to know - do you think I am being overly paranoid? Overly protective? Any parents out there gone through something similar? Whenever I pull up in the car at my mother in laws she instantly grabs my son, takes him away and never even says hi to me or asks me how I am. Sometimes I am even "she" or "her!" When we visited last time she grabbed him as I'd just got him out of his car seat and I was saying "Look it's Grandma!" and off he goes she's bolting in her house with him and yelling at her dog at the same time and I feel sick at seeing the back of his head vanishing away so quickly with her back straight to me and not even a hello or do you mind or anything. I came into the house and was putting my bags down and she was talking at him then I heard him let out a huge, distressed scream/cry. And she suddenly tried to sooth him but it was no good and she gives up instantly and comes running in to see me with him holding him out for me to settle him. I hush him to my chest and he is quiet and calm straight away. Then she says, "I was holding him and suddenly he just cried! I think it's because he looked at me then looked at the room and couldn't hear your voice and he realised you weren't there. He's obviously not used to our house." And then 5 minutes later she says how he should get used to other peoples houses. Again, I felt another big passive aggressive hint. Her attitude to me isn't warm, friendly loving Granny. It's not that she is doing anything awful, but these little flickers of attitude she shows add up. Even my own parents don't take him from me like that, they always ask or I always automatically give him to them but it's the entitled and bold way she does it that I don't like and really I don't think my son is too fussed on it most of the time either. Any advice appreciated! I know this is a weird one! (PS - what age parents were your children when you left them for a whole day or over night with someone else?) Lo x
  19. Ladies, would you be upset if you’re newly married, do everything for your husband (ask for nothing in return) and then have him post on Facebook on his mother’s birthday that “ Happy Birthday to the most amazing woman I know” ?
  20. Hello me and my fiancé have been together for four years, been engaged for eight months, me and his mom never really got along and she's always has verbally abused me when no one was around or to her son about me and the last time she came to visit, I didn't disrespect her, but when she went ahead and did it again I snapped, I just told her that I had enough with how she treats me like that and my fiancé sided with her, not knowing what was going on.. this lady has once told my fiancé that he would be disowned in the family, if he got on the airplane to be with me and my fiancé believe her and didn't get on a plane...this is the woman who could be my mother-in-law ... my fiancé has been staying at a hotel for two weeks now . Before this we have been arguing a lot lately and arguments sometimes are not as simple as they should be.. his mom is a manipulator and she likes to convince him to move back home and leave me because she's done it before now it's been two weeks he's not coming home and says he doesn't know if he sees a future because our arguments are not getting better.. which sounds so much something like his mom would say... I've been trying to give him space and not lash out .. but I can't keep waiting and being loving towards him when he hurt me by not sticking up to his fiancé ... what do I do ??
  21. I recently decided that I wanted to buy a new car after paying mine off about 5 months ago. My current car is starting to show signs of some serious problems. As soon as my mother in law heard I was considering buying a new car, she said she wanted to buy my car. I was hesitant to this due to the problems it is having (it is making strange noises when I back out of a parking space and other strange noises too). I was just going to trade it in to the dealership as is and get what I can for it. My mother in law was offering $1000-$1500 for it. The dealership offered a little more (I was surprised by this) and they knew about the problems. While I wanted to help out my mother in law, I did not want to sell her a car that may have some potential and costly problems in the long run. Despited telling her this, she said she didn't care and it there were any serious problems she would not be upset. On top of this my father in law recently had a minor accident in her current car (which is about 10 years old) and it costs them $800 to fix it. So the timing on all of this was horrible. The worst part of this is as soon as she was told this she called my husband's sister. His sister calls him (takes her Mom's side) and gets angry at my husband. These two have a habit of calling each other anytime they have a conflist with my husband and his brother. My husband is now saying we should not even buy the new car and I should just keep my car. This way they would not be so mad at us and not be reminded of this. My husband also thinks his sister and Mom will never speak to him again or let us see our niece. I think they will be mad for a while and get over it. Basically, they are making me feel like the bad one here. I was trying to do my mother in law a favor and not sell her a car that I think is in bad shape. They don't see it that way. I think getting upset over this car is ridiculous. Another side note - my mother in law recently lost her dog of 12 years a few months back and is still depressed over it. This may be affecting her judgement right now.
  22. Hi everyone, This might be pretty long so i'll understand if you don't want to read and post back. I guess this is just a vent session anyway. Pretty depressed today actually. I have been divorced for over two years now. The break up was super ugly. My ex and his mom went so far as to call social services and cry child abuse (on my friend at the time and also my nehew) to make my life a living hell. They did this twice and the second time they threatened to take my kids away and then called them again. So my girls would have to go through the motions of doc. examination, Police interview etc. The Pol. and doc. and social workers all knew that nothing happened cuz i explained what they were up to, the threats etc. They said they had to follow protocol anyway. Ex and mom knew the system, and thats why they kept doing this to me. Any way that was years ago. Yesterday i got served with legal aid papers stating that they were going for custody. I haven't let "gradma" see the girls in over a month b/c she let my ex see them. I know that sounds pretty weird. But my ex was diagnosed with paranoid dementia disorder and is an alcoholic. He would come around my girls when his mother had them in the past and would upset them badly. So his mother and i agreed that he shouldn't see them. THen last month she took them to a camp site while she was on vacation, and when my girls came home after a few days, they told me that they seen thier "other" dad. So me and my honey were naturally very upset. I called her, and asked her why she let "Ex" see them. She said he was all better! I lost my temper and we got into a yelling match. Her last words were "I know you are going through problems of your own" I hung up on her and she called back twice, My honey answered and he told me that she said "You tell her that i'm going to tell social services that the girls are living with domestic abuse and a pitbull"!! (a couple weeks earlier i tripped over our "pit bull" and gave myself a black eye, and this "pitbull" was only two monthes old and loveable". Natually she was trying to twist the truth and use it against me. He never abused me and the pitbull boxer cross is a puppy, isn't she pathetic? My ex mother in law made me soo mad when she said "ex" was ok. He is so unstable. In December, when my honey and i decided to move intogether, i moved out of the home that is under mortgage with my ex (ex refused to take his name off the mortgage) b/c we didn't want to live there, too many ghosts and bad memories. since his name was still on it i couldn't rent it out (he would evict them as soon as he found out and move in) So i said he could have it as long as he signed the papers to get my name of it. Well he wouldn't sign the papers and he never paid the mortgage and it is now in foreclosure. Uggh he couldn't even pay the power bill and he had room mates! He's he is soo far from being Fine! Anyway that was why i stopped letting her see the girls. Now she is pushing him to get custody so SHE can see them. It sure isn't him wanting this, he doesn't even call them on thier b.days, or buy them presents. He hasn't paid child support in two years. I was very upset about this lastnight and let my anger go. I was playing Burn out revenge on PS2 and having a beer lastnight. My honey was watching UFC on the dish and then he challenged me to a game of Pool for 5 bucks. I lost and said double or Nothing, Then i won and got nothing. So i said (i thought??) I challenge you to another game for 5 bucks. He agreed, i won and he said that i bet him "something" not 5 bucks, by this time i was pretty buzzed and got irritated and said "Yeah you are trying to get out of paying me. If i was anyone else then you'd pay me or if there was one other person here you would'nt try to lie about what we bet on" and i went back in the bedroom & continued to play Burnout and drown my sorrows in alcohol. I know i was a B*tch for saying that, it was harsh. I feel so bad because i took my anger out on him when the whole night he was trying to cheer me up. He slept on the couch and this morning all i could say, "it was a stupid thing to get mad about" and hugged him, i was still half asleep, i know i could have made a better apology if i was fully conscious. He walked to work so i know that he is still mad at me. It was all my fault. Our relationship has been doing soo good lately and i screwed it up b/c i was mad at someone else! I hate my temper, especially once mixed with alcohol. Damn! Anyway if you managed to make it through this long and mangled post, thanks for taking the time to read.
  23. It all started out when I found out that my mother-in-law has lied to me. She was taking my children away for the day and I was meeting up with my husband to have a weekend away together. I don't drive and she told me that I would need drop off my children (she never offered to pick them up even tho she picks up her other grandchildren several times a week) so I asked my dad if he would pick us up and drop me off at the station and then the kids off at her house. He said yes and my mum offered to make their meal, I said yes thanks explained to my mother-in-law what was happening. She said if it was too much trouble just to drop the kids off at her house then for my dad to take me to the station but I said no it was fine thanks the kids wanted to wave me off at the station and I asked her was she going out that day because I didnt want my dad calling when she wasnt in, she said she would be in all day. Because of misunderstandings in the past and me and my parents falling out over miscommunications involving her I asked her again if she was going out and she said no, so it was agreed that my dad would drop the kids off when they were ready. My mother-in-law was having the kids for the whole weekend and we had seen more of her recently that my own parents, my parents were having the kids for a couple of hours. I phoned my dad later that day to see if kids had been dropped off ok and he said mother-in-law phoned him and said she was going out and to drop the kids off ASAP, fair enough you might think mother-in-laws plans had changed she needed to go out but my husband told me that she goes out every Friday (I didnt tell him otherwise as I didnt want to spoil our weekend) So fast forward to this weekend. We called in at her house to pick up some presents we had ordered for kids for Christmas. She said where are the kids? I said at home as we were doing some Christmas shopping for them and dont want to spoil the surprises. She said are they old enough to be left? I said yes (my kids are in their teens) We went home and I told my kids what she had said. They announced that she had left them home alone when she had gone out the weekend they had stayed there!!!!!! Later that evening my hub and I were talking and I mentioned what she had said and he said its because she cares. He then went on to mention the fact that over the years I've had disagreements with my parents and that hes never had any with his. Yes I admit I have had disagreements with mine mostly due to the fact I've misunderstood my mother-in-law and my parents have called me irreseposonsible where the children are concerend not listening to arrrangements made, hence why this time I asked her twice if she was going out or not. At one point I thought I was going mad because I always seemed to get arrangements wrong. My hub and I have spent all weekend disagreeing on things and I know its my fault because I'm wound up about her, we also got in to a discusion about when I wasn't feeling well at a wedding and didnt speak much, I'm a horrible person for doing that according to him but when people do this to me I got to live with it. When it comes to support even if he is in the right or wrong I give it to him, if hes hurt or gone to hospital or someone in his family has died or if he has a disagreement with his friends but if I'm in that boat I'm on my own. So by bedtme I was just so wound up, yes its pathetic I know and after a day of disagreements, hearing how wonderful his relationship with his parents is etc etc, I just wanted to sleep I was so tired but he had other ideas and when I didnt agree with it I got pushed and shoved and told where to go. We havent spoken since and hes away at work for a week. Only plus point is of this mess is my mam and dad are much closer to me and have apololgised for beleiving his mum over me. I would actually talk to them about it but they've had a tough year my mums mum died and now her brother might have cancer. I just dont know what to do. One thing I did realise is he doesnt normally speak much so maybe hes venting off at me and if Im talking to him it never seemst go in, I know I talk to much I can see that with what I've wrote here and when I see people I know I never shut up either but I dont know how to break this habit. Thanks for reading.
  24. My husband and I have been together for 11 years but only married for the last 6 yrs. We met through our work while talking on the telephone -- we clicked. The whole time we dated we would have wonderful conversations and we both truly enjoyed each others company. We finally got married, although I had serious cold feet not once, not twice but three times. I finally got over my fear of losing my independence and got married. Things really started to change once those papers were signed. He became controlling -- of not just the finances but over our social life too. Friends of mine, that he didn't like, were soon disappearing like flies due to my husband's attitude towards them. The wonderful conversation slowly started to fade -- he would rather watch tv now than carry on a conversation with me. He's always been verbally abusive towards his mother and brother. The only person he would take direction from was his father. He is a carbon copy of his father and I know for a fact that his mother had gone thru what I am experiencing right now. About a year ago he start becoming verbally abusive towards me. I just held my tongue not wanting to upset him more. When he was in a good mood, I brought up the verbally abusiveness. I was politely rebuffed with -- I don't hit you. I told him that maybe we needed to speak with a professional to help our relationship and his temper. His response -- nothing is wrong with his temper and if I just listened to him we wouldn't have any problems. His father passed away at the beginning of May. My husband was so close to him. The verbal abusiveness died down for a while but now it is back with a vengence to my mother-in-law, brother-in-law and to myself. A few weeks ago I talked to him again and he was just as unresponsive as before. He did make an attempt to control himself but this evening he couldn't help himself and started swearing at me again. I'm so tired -- He just lost his dad and I do love him. I don't want him to feel any more pain. But I look at my mother-in-law and don't want to grow old with this man and have to been belittled every day until I die. I don't know what to do -- should I throw in the towel and just say good bye? If anyone has an insight, please let me know. Mahalo!
  25. Found this while i was surfin the web,thought id share it with everyone.hope you enjoy it. INSURANCE FORM STATEMENTS... The following are actual statements found on insurance forms where car drivers attempted to summarize the details of an accident in the fewest words possible. The instances of faulty writing serve to confirm that even incompetent writing can be very entertaining... 1. Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have. 2. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions. 3. I thought my window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my head through it. 4. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way. 5. A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face. 6. A pedestrian hit me and went under my car. 7. The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him. 8. I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment. 9. In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole. 10. I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car. 11. I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident. 12. I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident. 13. The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of its way when it struck the front end. 14. As I approached the intersection a sign suddenly approached in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident. 15. To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian. 16. My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle. 17. An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished. 18. I told the police that I was not injured but on removing my hat, I found that I had a fractured skull. 19. I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him. 20. The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so I ran over him. 21. I saw a slow moving, sad faced gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car. 22. The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth. 23. I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.
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