sisterlynch

You really need to separate out your emotions from your working environment. I know that sounds like it is impossible to do, but it is the only way that you will receive the respect that you deserve. Be honest when someone is trampling on your feelings, and tell them when they are out of line. Do it quickly and without emotions. Take very deep breaths when you feel that you are getting upset. The oxygen will flood your brain and make you feel better. If it is the same kind of person that is always hurting you, learn to recognize that sort of person and avoid them. Tell them that you need a little space...see women need space too!! 8)

I think that he was just really enjoying himself and he wanted to have fun with you. There are no rules in human sexuality. Everything is a variation.

This seems like it is a mildly abusive situation. She knows that you still love her, I guess, yet she is dating, and getting high, then coming and bragging about it. No contact is the best information, that you should look else where -- even lie to avoid seeing her. She isn't a good friend, I fear.

Why me? There is a lot of competition in society and people sometimes think that they can do anything to the weakest member of any organization, and a family is no different than a working environment, in some respects. We expect that our parents love us completely and that they will do anything in their power to help us, but they are only human, and they can only do what they have been trained to do by society and in their own family of oirigins. So instead of trying to find some way out, I would just try to for give yourself for anything that you have done to make yourself the victim of the family. I am not blaming you, but there are two sides to every story, and being honest about all the things that have happened to you is the best way to start...don't feel like you need to apologize, only strategize your ideas, so that you can't get mad easily...They can't read your mind, can they? They also probably don't realize how sensitive your are to their lies and criticisms. They probably call you a phony or a liar, when you know that you haven't lied... Other than medication and taking time away from them, I don't know what else to tell you. There isn't always an easy answer. I am with you in your journey and if you would like to share stories of emotional abuse, I can receive your pm.... PS...thank you for this interesting question... PPS...Use Google to look at social psychology and "group think" to see if there is an interesting angle in there.

I think that you should seek counseling over this issue of emotional and physical abuse. If you don't do so, then you will push the anger down and it will come out in other ways, as depression or irritablitity.

I think that I would go to the doctor and get this checked out. I feel like I have had the same thing happen to me, I was probably under a lot of stress at the time... Maybe try to exercise and eat better, you may be using sex as your only release mechanism...try getting out more. Maybe you are over doing it and need to take a break from some of your obligations.

No, it wasn't about me, yes, I m not a very good speller, but so what? Can't a person be curous in the world without insults??

It is kind of like the game of Life, when you first are getting started, it takes you more time to get situated...once you have the education, you may be happier than you would be without it. Just a hunch!!

I am not sure if i understand the question, but can't you just excuse yourself and use the restroom? Or before getting started with her, use the rest room.

guys in relationships need to get used to girl talk...sometimes just talking for the heck of talking, with out a lot of point to the talk...ever watch soap operas?? if the convo is going nowhere, it doesn't necessarily mean that you and she are not into each other, you just have slightly different personality styles, not a thing is wrong. Just tell her that you need to go do something when she is starting to stray off topic, then she will get the idea.

Well. the question was just out of curiosity... I am obviously old enough to know better....I was just curious. I figured people on line would know or have personal experience with buying them in person, which I haven't... I don't have contact with the person, it was a chance meeting.

I heard a story about someone getting PG because she used an older condum, I don't know if that is true or if it was just her excuse. I told her not to use old condums, that if it is too old, then it is worn out, and she should throw it away and buy some new ones. I don't know how old she is, and that is why I asked. Many people have sex before they are old enough to drive, so that sort of limits them as to where they can shop and not be observed. Hopefully, it was a story that she had invented....

This may be a silly question, but do they "card" you for buying condums? As in -- a person could buy condums at any age, right?

He broke up with you out of the blue -- that can mean a lot of things, none of them good... The best thing to do is to treat him the same way that he is treating you. Ignore him, like that other poster said, that will help. I don't know what he is doing, but he isn't caring, is he? You need to take care of yourself and your own feelings. Do the things that you have been putting on hold since he was around...by the time that you are starting to get over him, then he will be back!! 8)

Sometimes you need to get rid of your old ways of thinking and feeling when so much change is happening to you. Re-evalute yourself and how you feel about everything, not just him...everything and all your own hidden feelings and secrets....try and make small changes and keep on working toward your long-term goals, but cut back on the amount of time that you are working, because that is stressing you out too much and making your life miserable. Two other items that you must do to feel better is to eat and sleep...how are you going to get happy if you are punishing yourself?

Losing weight helps and exercising regularly helps too. Just eating a healthy well-ballanced diet can make you feel a lot better. Cutting down on sugars and salts helps too. Maybe join a gym, and see how that goes.

If the problem is coming from anxiety, then the anxiety is always with her, right? It doesn't go away, because she is not working or going to the therapist, the anxiety is with her always.

Isn't that big silly grin from being over-stimulated? Maybe it isn't always coming from guilt, but I just threw that out there, and maybe it doesn't always apply to everyone....

I would go with the truth. We all wake up one day and realize that a major part of our identity is false. The ealier that you learn to be authentic, the better, I feel.

I would get some pain killers or antidepressants. There are some that will help you relax in a way that will kill the pain, but you can still exercise until it goes away.

I have a good one: all of a sudden he will use very different laguage or worry more about his Ps and Qs. He may have a big silly grin on his face. He may start to criticize you out of the blue or be very distant, then cranky if you notice he is distant. He may try and avoid family get togethers, and for get about your birthday, etc. and act really shallow. His friends and coworkers will avoid talking to you.

I would suggest to take it as slow as you can. Let her make as many moves as you can wait for and just be patient. Sometimes just be nice to her for no reason. This is what turns a girl on, not the clitoris, but the mind. Say sexy things to her. Rub her shoulders, don't put any pressure on her...women love that. Tell her how wonderful she is....you get the idea. Don't ever criticize her, and expect her to do anything for you!! You don't know how that will ruin it for her...forever.

Advanced placement courses, I would only concentrate on those that you know that you can do well at. Don't take math AP if you prefer science or history or English. If math comes easily to you, then you should look into some summer classes that will make you think and work harder at what you really enjoy. You could take a computer class, or take a class that you just would like to get out of the way. Sometimes young students can take junior college classes.

Welcome to enotalone. The good thing is that the violence is over and both of you seem like you are in a place to work on yourself. I would say that a good therapist could help, not some simple easy counselor, tell them that you need the very best. Go by yourself and be brutally honest. If the psychologist flinches while you are talking to her/him choose another one. I think that an older male psychologist might help the best. Go to your physical doctor and get your heath all taken care of. Go to the dentist, etc. Have everyone check you out for everything. Tell the man that you are getting your life together, and make a list of rules that are realistic, goals etc. If that guy leaves, oh well. Another one will come along, no problem. If he gets physical, call the cops immediately, apologize to the boyfriend of your daughter, tell him that you are trying to change your life.

I don't have any regrets, the way I live my life now is the way that I would have done at 24 if I had known better or had better resources. Life shouldn't change you that much. You are doing well to think so far ahead of yourself, that is a real sign of maturity.