Troubled Girl

On September 6 you gained 6 lbs...and a few weeks later you only gained 4.5 lbs? did you miss calculate? are you losing weight? Congrats btw

Wow... All I can say is you need to look deep within your heart for the truth. Many times when someone feels love for another person it seems easy just beacuse they are lacking it in their own lives. I am not saying this is your case but you need to consider it. I just answered another post similar to this (In Pain by InMaine). I told him that his destiny was already written for him and it was time for him to find it. I think you need to do the same thing. You can reaise your children if you aren't living at home. How ever is someone able to care for children if they can't take care of themselves. Sort yourself out, make a decision and stick to it. A stable parent is the best parent. You will move forward in whatever decision you make. I wish you much luck and keep your head up. Things always get easier. But they may get harder before they get easier, don't give up.

The above post was very informative. I find though many people have acne and blackheads because of excessive cleaning and harsh chemicals on their skin. Using a mask daily is too much stress for your skin. I find that unless you have a diagnosed acne problem, the more gentle cleanser you use on your skin the better. I have told all my clients (former - I am a licenced esthetician) to buy Spectro Jel from a Drug store, rub it on your face dry for 30 seconds and remove with water or a tissue. You should exfoliate maybe 3-4 times per week if the blackheads are serious. Make your own exfoliate in a blender using oatmeal, honey and milk...it must be a fairly thick consistancy....this will be extremly gently on your skin. Try Witchhazel (from a drugstore) as your toner...more effective than any toner on the market....and use your mask only once a week (twice if you feel the urge)... Try this for 4 weeks and see how your sking turns out, this works for 95% of my former clients...I hope it may work for you. It is a cheap and extremly effective skin care routine....it can't hurt when all else fails...keep in mind though that peroxide will dry out pimples...but it is very damaging to the skin...it should only be used in severe acne cases... A little UV light can't hurt either....instead of peroxide....sit outside for 30 minutes a day, or go for a tan at a local tanning salon....the tan will make acne and blackheads appear less noticeable... Good Luck!

yes, there is actually a maple leaf chicken factory near my house so i go buy big boxes of chicken breasts. One thing I forgot to include....I eat the chicken and broccoli 3 times a day (4 meals total with breakfast). If you want to add flavour to the chicken, squeeze some lemon on it. Buy little plastic containers not much bigger than the palm of your hand. Make sure the dinner fits in their, and that should be your portion sizing. It might be easiest to prepare a bunch of these on a Sunday and freeze them, this way the night before, take out 3 meals and they will be ready to eat for the next day. This way you wont feel lazy and go get take out, your food is always in the fridge. Throw out anything in your house that you might snack on too! Try it and let me know how it works,

Try using Spectro Jel from a drug store on your nose, ecept put it on your face when your face is dry, rub it in for 30 seconds and wash off. Try Witchhazel as a toner on your nose....you may be using to many harsh chemicals on your skin irritating it more. The Biore strips are famous for that. Good luck.

I own a tanning salon and there are many myths that revolve around tanning as well as much truth. Tanning at your age isn't a problem, or shouldn't be if you follow a proper tanning schedule and skin care routine. If you are pale you just need to work yourself up slowly. There are beds you can use that produce a strong wave and you go in them for about 25 minutes and you are guaranteed a tan your first visit. They are called the SunSport and Ultrabronze. Call around to salons in your area to see who has them. You are almost guaranteed not to burn with them. The best thing is that 2 sessions a month keeps you tanned. You also have the option of the Spray on tan that lasts 7 days... completely safe for your skin, and that is called the Mystic Tan. Check for that. You must make sure you purchase a lotion that is suitable for your level of skin and will give you the colour you wish to achieve. If you are looking at the cost, my suggestion....go to salons that offer your first visit free and then sit in the sun (with sunblock SPF 8 for a tan) for an hour a day.....cheapie cheapie. It is somewhat easier, if you have scars or moles exposed to contract an extremly deadly form of cancer called melanoma. If you notice any freckles or moles changing colour or size on your body, you should go to your doctor to check them out immediately, UV rays can be very dangerous and sometimes the look of a tan may not be worth the consequences. I have had 3 biopsies on moles and thank god I have not gotten cancer...but it is out there.... PM me if you want any more information. If you tell me which state/province you live in, I will get you to a great salon in your area that will help you out for a good price.

Hey hun, I wouldn't take diet pills on their own, never mind with a medication. The only real great diet pills contain drugs that can harm your reproductive system, your lungs, your heart and much more. I am the queen at shedding weight quickly...but my method really sucks and you need a lot of control ( you may get hungry)... I typically lose between 10-15 lbs within 2 weeks by drinking 10 or more bottles of water a day and eating only chicken and broccoli for dinner and egg whites with a half cup of plain oatmeal in the morning. If you want to have a drink with taste, buy whey protien shakes (low carb one) and mix it with either water or skim milk. I have 2 of those a day. I do about 30 minutes of strong cardio a day and 100 decline sit-ups ...... It is not a good permanent diet, but it works when you need to shed a few pounds. I used to take Ephedrine like crazy and I really screwed up my body, I don't recommend anything in pill form for women Let us know how it goes

Hey there, Read your post and I am also from Canada. First Response makes a great pregnancy test that she can actually take up to 4 days before her period is due. Typically a false result (a false positive result) will not occur unless your gf is diabetic. The test looks for hormone levels detected in pregnant women (the same hormone is also found in diabetics). As for the abortion, in Canada you can have an abortion without your parents knowing when you are 16 years of age. I am not sure where you are located but there are clinics in every major city (I am in Toronto). I recently had an abortion (and have also had one in the past) and i can tell you it is very important to conisder your decision. If you would like to know more about the process, feel free to PM me and i will be honest with you. The process takes about 10 minutes and there is minor recovery time. I am pro choice but have regretted (extremly) the abortion I just had and am having a hard time coping. Your first task is to find out if she is pregnant...then we can talk. If she is stressed out, that may be another reason her period is late. Good luck

Hey there, I read your post and am not sure if I am the right person to be offering you advice or not quite honestly...but i thought I could help a little...maybe. You sounds like your heart is torn...you are alone inside even thought one man loves you and your ex wants you back....When you think of your ex, do you constantly think off good times and what could have been? Do you ever try to justify if he truly loved you (because of all the cheating)? Being scared to be alone is natural I think, we all tend to depend on others when we are down and out, or atleast feel that way. Seperating from a husband has to be a very hard thing regardless of the reasons...you probably almost feel trapped now because of this new man and the ex...you are stuck in the middle not wanting to hurt either one of them.... When we are alone (or feel alone) we tend to think things to be better than they really are. Deep down in your heart do you truly love your ex? Did he make you feel like a princess? Was he good to you in every way? Do you truly love your new man? Does he treat you like a princess? Is he good to you in every way? You need to find answers to questions like these to begin a healing process. You need to heal if you stay separated or even if you get back together. he has hurt you in the past...that is something you will struggle to deal with. You have to take care of yourself first, before you can take care of anyone else. Look within yourself to find out what you truly want from life. You can't be afraid to hurt anyone, because it is a part of life....people need to experience pain to grow. the worst part is you are holding all this in with noone to talkto to spare the pain of your new man and your ex....you are absorbing the pain for everyone else. You need to stop that and try to live your life the way you want it lived. I am not sure of your financial situation, but there are always things you can do to make ends meet on your own. You shouldnt feel obligated to stay with your new man because you will be alone and struggle if you don't. There are many organizations that will help you get on your feet and your children as well. Don't hold onto to things you don't want.....face your problems and you fears and you will feel much better....I honestly can't tell you what to do in your situation, only offer advice...but i can tell you that you are not alone...

Oh hun, your in a situation everyone has been in atleast once before. Coming from a female point of view, she is just trying to make things sound the absolute best they can be. We do this for many reasons, to show you we are strong, that we can go on, to make you jealous and envious of what you lost. The truth of the matter is, although she may be going to these parties and meeting people....when she is alone she probably still cries and thinks about what you are doing. She probably isn't moving on as easy as she is making it seem....but on the other hand maybe she has completely moved on (I know u dont want to hear this) If after a 2 year relationship she finds it that easy to move on a forget about you....Is she really worth all this stress? I hope things work out for you...keep your head up it gets better

Chibi ^5 (high five) my boyfriend is 17 yrs older too! Noones opinions should matter to you......Just think when you get older you will always have a young guy Is there problems you are having that you think may be associated to the age difference? Does the age difference bother you? If you are happy, don't even worry about the age, you obviously love him and he loves you if you two are married. I wish you luck

Ouch girly! That is pretty rough....mind you i talk all the time in my sleep.....try using duck tape over your mouth at night in the future...lol... ok, honestly... My boyfriend is/was (is sperated, not divorced) married and we were together while he was living at home...One day he came to see me at my apartment and during a conversation he called me by his wifes name (he wasn't even sleeping)....man did that fu** me up....BUT....I got over it. Not right away though, I actually didn't talk to him for over a week i felt I was disrespected.....then I woke up and realized the poor guy has a gazillion things on his mind and talked to him about it. He was so upset he cried (something this hard-as* Italian doesnt do too often)... It takes time to heal things like that because this new man is probably thinking your ex is always on your mind....don't take the relationship as being over, just give him time, it was a hurtful thing to say (intentional or not) If he truly loves you, all will be forgiven....good luck!

Hey...to be honest i don't really think you have a problem. Your girlfriend has children, she loves you and you love her? The only issue, which is rather large that I see is that the two of you are married. You need to deal with that before jumping the gun. There would be a problem however if you plan on being a father to these children. I don't think they would become "Instant kids" as they do have a father who will most likely always remain a father in their lives. As for your girlfriend being a mother, I don't believe any mother would put any children in a situation where they are introduced to a new man during or even a while after a marriage has ended. That wouldn't be good at all for the children. When the time is right, you should be more of a mentor and friend to those children, help guide them and give them love but steer clear of the fatherly role, it will only create problems. Chidren are very impressionable and whatever you subject them to now will stay with them their entire lives. If this woman truly is your soul mate, you have lots of time to work things out. Marriages are hard things to end. Beginning a new life could be even more difficult. Work on getting out of your situations now if you want to be together, encourage her to want to keep things civil with her husband so he will continue to be a good father. Try not to disrupt that relationship. In time, those children will become a part of your life....but by not being able to have children of your own, do not try to make them yours, just make them a part of your life. Your first priority will be your girlfriend, and her first priority will be those children...it may get frusterating but true love conquers all.... It may be weird with children running around, but one day you won't be able to imagine your life without them Hope I helped

I can't say I necessarily agree with the other posts although they are not wrong. You must look at the situation from all angles and evaluate it. You are not wrong by showing your love but she is not wrong for wanting to see whats out there. Believe me it is better she do it now than in 10 years from now and you have to respect her honesty with you. She may love you and want to spend the rest of her life with you, but if she isn't ready....she isn't ready, nothing can change that. In order to successfully contribute to a relationship, you must be happy, trustworthy and confident in yourself before you can give anything else to someone else. While she is "finding" herself, my advice for you would be to do the same. I am not telling you to go date anyone, but do the things you wanted to do but never got the chance. Didn't you ever want to take a vacation with your buddies? Go somewhere, do positive things for yourself....spend as much time with your friends as you can ... remember Destiny is real and it cannot be changed. I feel if you try to change the course of destiny you will always lose out. As hard as it is, move on with your life temporarily and all things will work out for you.

If he is ready to get rid of her that quick for you, doesn't that set off any bells in your head? I wouldn't want to date a guy who tells me he will wait until I am older then dump his current g/f, regardless if shes a Bit*h or not. On the other hand...you may feel differently. My advice is to play a little hard to get. From the sounds of it he knows you have been waiting in the wings for him all this time. Let him make the first move. Once he dumps his gf, make him invite you over, or take you out. Let him pursue you. it will work out much better in the end. I know how hard it is to do that and it always sounds easier coming from someone else, but its the truth. Things will work out to your advantage in the end if you play it that way. If you really want to see him, invite him over but it will kind of be giving him some leverage over you. Remember, not just any man is worth your attention, give it to someone who is deserving. If you like this guy that much than follow your heart (but take a little advice whil you are at it) Good luck!

Move on Girl? Wipe your eyes, go outside and take a look at all the opportunity you have. If you want closure, he will be the only one to give that to you. If he chooses not to, you must just move on. I was in your situation once, almost identical....with time, you will feel better. My gut would tell me he just doesnt want the relationship anymore at all and used a stupid, but viable excuse. If that is the case, there is a much better man waiting for you in the wing....just open your eyes and wipe your tears and you will find him. My heart goes out to you..

Follow your heart dear....he must be quite a stand up guy if he has custody of one child and is standing up for another...give him credit for that. The question remains....Is this what you want? You have to understand that his children will always be a priority, but a different priority than you. I am sure if you two had children together he would be just as an incredible father with you as he is to the other children. Does he want you involved in the childrens lives? You should not be expected ever to take on a motherly role, but you can be a friend and a mentor to these children and grow close both with them and him. My boyfriend has a 16 yr old daughter who is his life. But that doesn't mean I am lower on the priority list, I am on a different list all together. Remember children will always have different needs than your mate. You have to decide if this type of relationship fits your lifestyle. You have to make a decision. These children are in his life for good, and you could be too but you have to want every part of him (even, the time restricted, broke part) because that may never change. Remember the children. I am sure if you decided to work this out, you would be a great influence in both your boyfriends (and possibly his childrens lives). The more love children can get, the better they will become. Good luck!

Ouch....I am sorry to hear your dilemma. I cannot offer you advice legally or morally because I am really not sure what it accepted. My honest advice though is that the damage is done and she is pregnant. It is too late t worry about those consequences. Is your family supportive of this? Are you two happy together? Are you ready for this responsibility? I wish you much luck...I really do, my heart goes out to you

Hey Avalon, I know how u feel....I am pregnant as well, except my situation is with a married man...its funny how you think your situation is always the worst but then there is one person worse off than you. i have learned to look at the bright side of things and realize that all thinks work out in the end. The decision is yours alone to make and you are not to young to be a great mother...just follow your heart and you will decide what to do.

Im not even sure if this 14 yr old is still reading this but here is my 2 cents anyways. i believe everyone on here who has posted has a point. Sweety, in this situation you must only follow your heart. Take the advice from everyone else for what it is...advice. not one of these people, or your parents, or your baby father are in your shoes. Only you know what you can handle and what challenges you will face. I have had an abortion but do not agree with them. It changed my life dramatically...some days i cry about it and some days i think it was for the best...either way i regret having to make that decision. I am pregnant once again (I am 22 ths time with a house and a career and a fiance so things are quite a bit different) but none the less....I still had a decision to make and I chose life this time. No matter what the age a baby will make things hard, but please remember it is only you that has tomake this decision. You cannot be scolded for the decisions you have already made, you must look back at them and learn. Life is all about learning, unfortunately for you, you will learn the hard way...i wish you much luck in your decision and in life ....my heart goes out to you.

Hey there sweety, I read your story as well as all of the responses. It seems all of the responses are from people who are in your situation. I am also pregnant, but I am 22. I too h ave had had (more than 1) abortion in the past but I will not talk you out of it. For me at the time, it was the best decision I ever made and because I weighed all the options, I do not regret it. The obvious fact is, you now have a baby growing inside of you. You will obviously become very emotionally attached to this baby. but there are many points you seriously need to consider when making a decision: You say your parents are completely against the pregnancy...althought mine were supportive, I realize there are many parents out there that wouldn't be. Ask them and yourself, will they always be there for you? The support of your parents and the parents of the father should weigh heavily on your decision. Sweetie, you must understand the responsibility at hand here....love is the only thing that will come for free with this child and unfortunately in today's world you need much more than that t raise your baby. You need to think about how you will get a decent paying job? Will your baby's father be able to get a decent job? Will you be able to finish school? Did you plan on going to college? Do you want the father in your life full-time? Do you think there is a chance you two will be together forever? Do you mind giving up your life for that of your child? Also, think of all the little things that will make it tough like not being able to drive and so on. If your parents aren't here to support you things will be very very difficult. I am not telling you it cant be done but it is just a matter of what you are willing to sacrafice. My best friend had a baby at 13....although she loves her daughter to death....she cries almost daily because she missed out on so many things. All of us are in our careers and she cant get a job that pays her more than $10 an hour (which isnt much to live off of on your own)...she isnt able to give her baby what she wants to and her parents have never been there for her...I look at her and my heart goes out to all of you who may be or are in that situation. I wish you the best of luck in making your decision, and I really do believe with al my heart things always work out for the best. Never let anyone control your thoughts or dreams. If you think you are ready to be a mom...I support you 100%....good luck!

My advice.....take your losses and move on.... I would think him to be a completely heartless ba**ard....you may still love him but no woman deserves to be treated anywhere close to that low... I know its alot easier to say these things to others, but you sound like you have a good heart, give it to someone who is deserving...

Don't want to be rude....but I think this is an issue within yourself you need to deal with....possibly a security issue? Why were you not happy with your ex's? Was it something they caused or you did? maybe that is something you need to look at....maybe your faults (which might have caused these feelings) do not lie within these other men and you see that and it gets to you... remember, someone who starts dating shortyl after a relationship ends is just trying to heal some pain temporarily. My advice to you is to look within yourself and see what you can change. In the short term, instead of running back to your ex, give yourself a few months and then see if that is what you really want....remember if its only a few months there is a good chance that after 3 years you can work things out again....if you both want too... I am almost positive that when you find the right girl...you won't experience any of these problems...but its like the old saying...you must go through hundreds of wrong ones until you find the right one....good luck and keep your head up!

Hello, I feel guilt posting anything about this as I know most of you men (and women) are going through some awful times. I however, do need some advice...and I am hoping there is a man in here who has gone or is going through something a little similar to my siutation... My boyfriend of 4 years got my pregnant (for the third time). I am 2 months along and have no other children. We have been living together for the past 6 months and he has been separated (but not divorced) from his wife for over a year. He is so scared to have this baby because of the consequences he will face. His wife knows about me and the length of time we have been together. She also knows he wants to marry me and "eventually" have children. Unfortunately the timing is off... What will happen to him in the divorce process if we have this child? He has worked hard for what he has (he has a lot) and I don't want him to lose everything. Will she be entitled to more now? I am scared that she will make both our lives he** (which she has every right too) but my biggest concern if for the child...how will he/she be affected. If we have this baby...and he loses everything, do you think he will resent me and the child in the future? Would you? What is my best course of action....He says an abortion would make things easier, but only for the moment...he also does want to keep the child..I on the otherhand really want to keep this baby... I feel scared, confused and don't want to hurt anyone....

I'm not here to judge but at 14 I don't think you should be rushing into "making out".....your first sexual experience be it a kiss, or more should be very memorable. There isn't much to teach because when the tim is right you and the boy will make it all fall into place... One thing I can share from my first kiss, I too was anxious and screwed it up large... Don't be nervous and go with the flow....don't open yourself up to a situation that will make you vulnerable or scared....move at your own pace. Anything that happens is not only supposed to feel good but feel right too....only do to him what you are comfortable doing and vice versa....once your in the situation, believe me things will just come natural... at 14....you might wnt to wait a while to make sure things are right for you....maybe concentrate on other areas of your life...wither way..good luck to you!