jimster

Your problem is not that major. Lots of people are shy. Perhaps the bar scene is not your thing, so chances of meeting a girl that way are slim. Through friends, school, and work, your life will bring you somebody. The hard part is not finding somebody, the hard part is finding the right somebody. When you do find someone, make sure you truly love this person and aren't just settling for her, because you are just happy to be with someone. Stay focused, some books to help overcome the shyness might help. good luck.

Hi, I'm married, but having an affair with a married women who has 2 small kids (2 and 5). Our feelings for each other grow day by day. The thought of putting an end to our respective marriages and being "together" has crossed our minds. My concern is about her 2 children, what role would I play in this scenario, being that I am not their father. I like children and want some of my own, but due to a fertility issues, my wife and I are not able to have kids naturally (problem is on my side), so being with her would mean instant children in my life. Is this crazy ? Can our lives be somewhat normal ? I know that I truly love this girl...she is my soul mate. HELP .

Hi, Can a women be in love with her husband (happily so she says) and still pursue an affair with me...(i'm married also). We have made love several times. I'm unhappy with my marriage, but she is content with hers. This confuses the hell out of me. why is she then cheating on her hubby with me. She tells me she's attracted to me...can't she control herself. I feel somewhat strange, because i feel that i'm much more emotionally involved than her. Can anybody explain this to me .... maybe a ladies perspective might help.

I find myself torn between love and lust. This other women has all the characterstics that are missing in my marriage, of course love making with her is intense and passionate (probably because it's wrong for both of us), pyschological level and interests. I'm trying hard to convince myself that this is just an "affair" nothing more, but my feelings for this other women seem to grow stronger by the day. Of course the fact that we work together (i'm actually her Boss), means we spend more time with each other (than we do with spouses) and she has plenty of time to arouse my inner feelings, just by her touch, with a smile and with her words to me. I have played over and over in my head the only way that we can be together (without looking like home wreckers) is to end our marriages, for other reasons than us wanting to be together. With her having 2 kids, things get more complicated. But if we connect in such a good way, how can being together be wrong ? Are we not allowed to create our happiness.?

Hi, Thanks for all the input from everybody. Why did I marry my wife ? I guess love at the time, perhaps some feeling of insecurity on my part...i was 30 years old and thought that i should settle down and get married....why ? To confuse me even further, this other women, that I work with, is happily married. She loves her husband and her life with him - from what she has told me all is roses in her world. However I question why she is having this affair with me if she truly loves her husband. She claims she's attracted to me (which i find very flattering) and wants me sexually. She just tells me to take things day by day and that we don't know what the future holds. Part of me wishes that she had troubles at home, to sort of justify the whole thing. As for my wife, a part that causes concern is that the thought of us breaking up doesn't scare me. I don't think i would miss her. I'm more worried of leaving my wife and this other woman fading away and then being left alone and on the singles market at 35. Do all these feelings sound "normal" ???

more info. ... My situation with my wife, is that I find myself questioning if i really ever loved her or if our marriage ever had passion. The other women in my life, makes me feel alive, full of passion, she makes me feel good, not just sexually, but emotionally as well. My torment is that my wife is a good person, she's a great wife in certain areas, but at times she's insensitive to my feelings (as I am sure I am to hers). To make matters even more complicated, we are struggling with medical procedures to try and have a baby, we've been diagnosed with fertility issues (on my side)...this makes matters more complicated as I am not sure about our marriage and I know that I don't want to create a child in a marriage that has these issues. As for the other women, with her 2 kids, ,,,, yes... i know i could handle becoming an instant dad....i love kids and I've been told many times that I am a very patient person and would make a great dad.......sometimes the solutions seems obvious and other times i think i'm going to make a complicated situation even more complicated.....very confused.

Hi, First time ever posting a message. I'm a 35 year old male, married 5 years, no kids, never thought of cheating on my wife, but I have managed to fall deeply in love with a women that works with me. My home life is troubled, my wife and I fight a great deal. My communication with my wife is very limited, we haven't talked about our feelings for some time. This is other women makes me feel alive and passionate again, something my marriage is missing. She is a faboulous woman, but she too is married, and has 2 kids. (young 2 and 5). We are both in love with one another....and aren't sure what to do......help. jimster.