ankz74

Well guys thats the problem..i seem to be oscilating between all of the above. When I am really weak I crave to get her back and ask her to marry me now...but when I get a hold of myself I kind of realize that I was not giving her a commitment for a various reasons. What I really seem to be hurting about is the what my friend ended up doing. I had never in the world imagined the 2 of them together. We used to hang out together all the time. It just hurts to be so jealous of him of all the people. If she had started dating somebody completely unknown to me, I would have probably handled it coz I was reasonably in control after we broke up. Anyway, any ideas on how my mind games can come to an end and I can move on. Ankur

Was going out with this girl for 2 and a half years. While we loved each other immensely there were a lot of issues effecting our relationship. I was not able to give her a commitment for marriage coz I was never sure of our marriage working out considering the kind of people we were. She on her part was crazy about me but had a lot of insecurity, jealousy and low self esteem which resulted in a lot of fights during the relationship period. We split up once or twice in between but always ended up patching up coz we missed each other so much. During this whole period we had a very close friend who was much older than both of us but had always been around to give us sane advise on things He had been a friend of 7 years and I had trusted him with my life. Things became really bad end of last year and she finally took a decision to part ways and try and become best of friends (as we thought we were probably better friends than partners). I kind of realized that this was probably for the best as things were getting worse everyday. Our friend had been suggesting that I break up with her but I just did not have the heart to. We were still talking regularly over the phone till I decided that I was not able to detach myself from her and hence stopped calling up regularly. She was quite upset at that. We continued to talk on and off in between for a period of 2 months. It was a very weird period of 2 months where I was quite sure that I was not getting back. It was lonely and I missed her but somehow made new friends and generally stayed out to keep myself busy all the time. The friend I mentioned earlier also started behaving erratically which was kind of strange. In between this friend had mentioned something that led me to warn him of getting ideas about her as it would hurt me immensely. But then noticed weird games being played but I shunned the thought as I trusted them both immensely. Either ways she finally told me a month later that they were seeing each other. My whole world seems to have crashed after that. I have no control of emotion any more. Have no clue what is right and what is wrong. Have stopped all communication channels with both of them from that very minute. She has tried to get in touch a couple of times but have not responded. The friend has obviously not dared to even try except once. I shudder when common friends take his name now. I am so scared of bumping into them coz I know I will not be able to handle it. Its been 3 months from the day and I am still a nervous wreck so to speak. Am on this huge roller coaster over a girl that I was never sure of and hence might never have given a commitment to. Is this normal? Has anybody else gone thru something similar? I am going thru so much hell especially coz its one of my best friends and I always let her be with him coz I trusted him completely. Can anybody tell me how I can get my peace of mind back. My mind is playing really awful games with me. Should I go and speak to her and discuss things coz I get these temptations to call her and say what is when I manage to stop myself. I need help

hi somebody explain this to me. I was miserable with her for the 3 years that I was with her. I really wanted out somehow or the other. But then i managed out and she started seeing my best friend within 1 months of our breakup and I am a miserable wreck now. Its happened to me before with her and also my girlfriend before that. I just don't understand, I mean I was very unhappy when i was with her, but just the second I find out she is ith somebody else all hell breaks lose. The last case am obvisouldy lost on how to deal with the situation coz it was my dearest friend she is seeing now. I get all scared thinking off what I would tell them if i end up meeting them. Now I want her back so desperately that I can't seem to recall why I was so miserable with her in the first place. It happeneded to me with the same girl when we broke up for a bit and I was ok bout it till the point I found out she was with other guys that could have proved potential options. I ran back to her, got her back and then went back to my miserable life with her. ...and then obviously i wanted out again till she started seeing my best friend after which i just completely lost out on how i feel.

Apologies for the long one but i guess heartbreak you need to put in all details.. I had been seeing this girl for around 2 and a half years. We loved each other but things never really worked as she was always very insecure about me while I never did anything to make her feel so. We had a close friend (who also incidentally introduced us in the first place) who saw us right thru the relationship and was always great to talk to whenever we had problems. I could literally trust him with my life lets say. He used to council us individually and together and both of us loved him dearly. Things got really bad and we mutually agreed breaking up 4 months back after deciding that we might be better off as best friends than partners. We were both in touch with this friend at individual capacities and everything was just bout ok. It was lonely but somehow moved on. But for the last 2 months whenever i met my friend I started to get strange signals on which i told him that i would not be able to handle it if anything happened between them. But i met them at a common friends wedding acting like a couple and exhibiting a lot of sympathy towards me. They have infact been offering to introduce me to women individually so that i could start dating somebody. Guess we all know how it hurts when your ex-girlfriend tries to fix you up with other women 2 months after you have broken off. I broke off with them for a month fighting my demons and thinking i was just imagining things till I spoke to her and she wanted an opinion on him from me coz they were seeing each other. My whole world turned upside down from that day onwards. Its been 2 months now and both of them have haunted me ever since. I completely cut off even while she has been trying to message or call a couple of times. But have not responded to any of the messages. I don't really understand the pain but their is a whole lot of hurt and it just does not leave. While technically everything looks ok,but it still hurts like hell. Lot of mixed emotion , where I oscillate between total hatred to complete self pity. Sometimes I get these crazy urges to just call her and blow her up for doing this to me and I will seriously pick up a fight with this guy if i ever come accross him again. I don't really understand these feelings as i didn't want this relationship but now i miss her a lot. Can somebody explain what I am going thru and what i should do. I am very confused and hurting!!!! Ankz