Where to start that's a problem, hmmmm. I have been married for 6 years. We have 2 girls ages 6 and 2. I haven't slept in the same bed as my wife for about a year because she has extremely bad sleep apaina. I never cheated until a few months ago. It all started new year's eave when I was drunk at my so called best friend's house. He had his new girlfriend over who I barley knew but she seamed like a nice person. As the night went on we drank and drank some more. Before I knew it she was all over me, and he was just watching. I had sex with her the rest of the night was a blur. A few days later I hung out with them again, I was feeling awkward around them, when things started to head in the same direction it happened again. So I backed off from them, I stopped hanging out with them for a few months in the mean time I found out she was pregnant (don't worry not mine) then I heard stories about how she did the same thing before with her ex boyfriend and my friend. She left her ex after it happened with them. I wanted no part of that cycle and I felt so bad about want I did. Some time went by and my friend started talking to my wife witch got me scared, I wanted to tell her but I also just wanted to put it behind me. Before I could tell her she came to me almost crying asking me about being with her sister. I have known her sister as long as my wife and have only one time before we were married messed around(no intercourse of any kind) just touching. She told me that my friend told her all about me and her sister having sex. I was in shock because what he was saying never happened. We moved on, I never talked to him again, she still did. Some more time went by and my wife's best friend who I never really talk to came to live with us because her husband of 3 years was beating her and her son. She slept on the floor of my room with the door open (offered her the bed it was refused) her son slept in the living room. All night long for weeks we talked. From what my wife told me about her they both were alike in everyway, which was so far from true. Every night I spent with her I grew closer and closer we talked about everything, holding nothing back. This was strange for me because I never was open with anyone. About a month went by when one day I sent her a text message telling her I was falling in love with her. She lit up like a searchlight she was so happy. Her husband moved in with his parents and left her with 3 months back rent due on her apartment and another $25000 in debt from a car she was the cosigner on. She never wanted any thing to do with him again. We went out a few times to the mall to the movies (my wife always came along except one time. That one time is a day burned in my memory forever. I never felt so happy so overcome with love for this woman. We have so much in conmen we could be clones. We walked through the mall together holding hands. I felt so alive. I never felt like this with my wife. We went home and for the first time I made love, It was so amazing. I have never felt so close so as one with someone in my life. We would write each other letters and exchange them, I felt like a teen again. Two months went by when my wife came to me and told me that it bothered her that she was sleeping in my room. I told her about my wife's concern and she was upset that she didn't come to her with it. She later reluctantly moved in with her abusive parents. It was so hard to let her go, I put on a brave face and told her everything would work out. A few weeks later she calls me up hysterical telling me her brother beat her ass. I felt so helpless, I went over there we went out and talked, we wanted to be together but we didn't know how to make it work. Now I just got home from work and my wife comes to me and asks me if I ever slept with her. I told her no, it just came out "no". Before I could even think she was in my face screaming at me telling me to get out, we got into a pushing match. I left she went to the police and filed a restraining order against me. I couldn't see my kids or go to my house. I had no $$ and nowhere to go. I slept in my car. My wife called her up and she told her everything, I don't blame her for telling her. The restraining order got dropped. Now im back home. It seams like my wife wants to work things out but im still in love with her friend. I can't have my cake and eat it too. I need to decide in the next few days what to do. My wife has told me she still loves me, and I still have love for her. But I am in love with her friend. I have know one to talk to, I feel so alone. I don't want to turn my back on either of them but I have to make a choice. Do I stay in an unhappy broken marriage or do I move on to something that could be more. Im so torn over this I can't eat or sleep. I need help.
