sweetheart21

Do any women on here actually act differently when they have their periods? It really annoys me when people say things like 'oh your angry about something, it must be that time of the month' I personally dont feel like my personality changes at all whether i'm on my periods or not. Does anyone feel like their personality does change? Or know someone whos does?

I agree! Because its your first relationship you think this is ok. There are people out there that will smile when you come home, cuddle you all night, want to make you a special dinner, love you. This girl is ruining your self esteem And let me tell you she will NEVER respect you while you are letting her treat you like this. You have to stand up for yourself. 6 years is a long time, I know it would be scary to leave, but once you get out there and meet new people you will wonder why you hadnt done it sooner. Do you really want to marry her and feel like this for the rest of your life??? She has serious issues and needs professional help. She has so much anger in her! And instead of trying to get better she takes it out on you. And you let her.

Thank you! I'm so glad other people are as annoyed as I am about it. I'm going to say something to him. I'm not sure what exactly, maybe something like... ...cuz I dont want to change just because he tells me to. ha ha thanx! .

Yes thats true I guess he would get upset if it was for a long time. But just from reading the original post it sounds like the problem is feeling pressured to have sex. Not that I'm saying your bf is doing that, I just mean you probably feel like if you dont have sex with him he will leave you/call you names etc just like that horrible guy did. So once you see that your bf still cares for you and doesnt leave just because of sex the problem may go away. I saw a married couple on tv a while ago where the wife didnt want sex anymore and that was all the husband could think of and would constantly say it to his wife. They were going to get divorced over it. The husband was told to stop asking for sex/ trying to have sex with the wife. Even if they were kissing it was not allowed to lead to sex. They were only allowed to once the wife wanted to. I think it took about 3 weeks for them. When they came back on the show they were really happy and saying things like we've falling in love all over again & we have sex all the time now & stuff like that. It might be different from your situation though so I dont really know if thats what you should do or not. Just thought I'd add it in case it helps

No I dont think he is with her to test if he has feelings for you. If he still had some feelings for you I think he would still be with you. Although there is always a chance he might realise how great you were now that he is with this other girl. I'm not sure. Did he break up with you or did you break up with him? If he broke up with you did he give a reason?

No it does not sound ridiculous at all! It has obviously affected you, so saying to yourself that it is not important or silly will make the problem worse. Do you feel like you are only having sex with your bf at the moment to please him? If so maybe you should stop having sex until you feel ready. Maybe if there if no pressure on you to do it then you may actually start to want to.

Are you interested in these older women? If you would rather go out with a women your age then you may have to make the first move. You must just act mature for your age which might scare off the younger women at first.

Thats what a date is She doesnt sound that interested. Maybe she doesnt want to hurt your feelings. You should find someone that gets really excited about being asked to hang out with you

Maybe he is upset about the break up with you, so he is with her because she is silly and immature and fun. Like just being with her so that he can get over you easier.

My boyfriend is constantly telling me to smile. If we are out with people and i'm chatting to them etc he will interrupt and say 'smile!' Then everyone turns and looks at me. Its really embarrassing. He sometimes says it when i am already smiling. The other day i was walking from the bank back to the car and when I got in he said 'you never smile blah blah blah' What is there to smile about when your just walking to your car??? I would feel weird walking around with a big smile on my face when there isnt anything to be smiling about. Its not like i'm frowning constantly, its just when i'm doing ordinary things I have a blank face. Is this unusual? How doI get him to stop saying it? Do other people smile in these everyday situations? I know this is a bit silly but I'm just curious to know what other people think about it.

It makes me so mad hearing your story. I cant believe there are people in the world like him. He was supposed to protect you and look out for you like a brother should. Instead he ruins your life and makes you think that it was your fault. He probably wont ever say he is sorry either, in his crazy head he probably thinks it wasnt that bad. But it IS bad. I hope you realise just how wrong he was to do that. And that it was all his fault, and that there is no way that you deserved it! You deserve to be happy like everyone else. I'm really sorry for being nosey!! I just felt so mad when I read about it.

My ex boyfriend used to tease me and mess around which was ok (I would tease him too) but it got to a point where he would just flat out say your stupid. The first time he said it I just ignored it and walked off but the second time he said it I remember I said something like 'listen, it is not ok to talk to me like that' I said it really calmly but in a firm voice. And he never spoke to me like that again.

Can I ask does your family know what he did to you? What does he say about it? Has he ever said sorry or admitted what he did was wrong? (not that that would make it ok. I'm just curious)

I feel so sorry for you. I love reading your posts you always give good advice. I wish I could give you a hug I'm going through something a little similar... I dont have any female friends and I've only just recently realised that I only ever try to make friends with guys because I know that they are not likely to reject me if i'm flirty and bubbly around them. But what ends up happening is that I end up feeling pathetic because I know they dont care about my personality, they only keep talking to me because they are attracted to me. And if they think that they i'm not interested in them 'in that way' then they stop talking to me. Which then makes me do 'more then friends' stuff with them so they wont stop talking to me. Someone I know told me that they think its because I dont think I am worthy of having friends because I have grown up with everyone saying that i'm not good enough (I grew up with an alcoholic, physically abusive father) They said that I have to realise that what happened to me wasnt my fault and that I am a good person. Maybe thats what you need to do too? I know this doesnt really answer your post but maybe just knowing your not the only one will make you feel a bit better

Yes you should definetly say something. Your not over reacting at all. And if you dont say something it will end up upsetting you more and more and might even make the problem worse then it is. What you need to do is be assertive but NOT aggressive. That means saying how you feel but not yelling or name calling etc. When you do say something he will probably deny it but just stay strong and say something like -thats how I feel, so I'd appreciate it if you would stop doing it. Hope this helps Let us know how it goes!

Yes! Hehe

It definitely sounds like he likes you... but I'm not 100% sure how much. He may just like you as a friend. But standing right beside you is a good sign. Look for clusters of body language signals like beec said...

He is probably just curious to see if he has any new messages... or maybe just bored and used to logging onto the site. Have you stopped going onto the site since meeting him? Obviously not or you wouldnt know if he still is or not. After he knows you better he will lose interest in the dating site.

Thats a great idea! One of my ideas is talking to sales assistants when your shopping. It makes it a little easier practicing because you know you wont see them again, its their job to be nice to customers and it only lasts a few minutes

I agree with xcsteeplechaser, I think its a sweet idea to make a CD. But because its still a new relationship just play it down a little so you dont appear to be coming on too strong For the second you could get them a gift but I'm sure they helped you out just because they are nice people not because they wanted anything in return. But a thankyou card is a nice idea if you really want to do something.

Has anyone done this? I just read a little about it on the net and was amazed. It has to do with training people how to change the way they think by challenging their negative thoughts. Heres an example they used on how different people think - George, Susan & Alex, stub their toe on an uneven piece of paving in the middle of the mall. George thinks – "Oh no. I am such a fool. How could I do something so stupid? Everyone has seen & thinks I am a complete idiot!" Response - Feels embarrassed, humiliated, self-conscious & distressed. Avoids contact with others. Quickly returns home. Susan thinks – "I could have really injured myself. The Council should have fixed this/ prevented this. It is an outrage & a disgrace!" Response - Feels anxious, flustered, very angry & stressed. Curt in dealings with people that day. Stressed all day. Alex thinks – " Ouch! What was that? Oops, I just stubbed my toe! Well, I'm OK, so I'll just keep walking!" Response - Doesn't give it a second thought. No effect on the day. My response would be most like Georges. I didnt even realise how negative I am! What would your response be like? And if anyone has done cognitive behavioural therapy what exactly do they teach you and how long does it take?

It could mean lots of different things. What was his body language like? If he was also turning away from you it could mean he was uncomfortable and wants to leave. If he seemed interesting in the conversation then he is probably just a bit shy and doesnt like eye contact. Or sometimes people look away for a second while they are thinking.

It sounds like she is angry that the 2 of you arent together! She obviously really likes you but you told her that you're 2 far apart in age. When you hung out and cuddled/ watched a movie she probably thought that you would get back together. When it didnt happen she would have felt confused and angry.

I know how you feel! I was joining up at my local library the other day when a staff member came over and said 'oh hold on you have to be 16 to join' I just stood in shock for a second and she asked how old I was and I said 21. She did apologize though and said sorry you have a young face. I was quite upset about it for the next week. And I agree with the rest of you guys he SHOULD have apologized. He was probably really embarrassed and just ran away. He sounds like a child himself.

The perfect date for a shy person is going to see a movie! I am very shy and this is my favourite first date because you only have to talk for a little while before the movie and a little bit after. Not so much pressure! Then once I know the guy i'm comfortable to do the coffee/ lunch thing. But if your really good at keeping a convasation going then I guess coffee would be ok. Just dont put pressure on her to talk or she might get uncomfortable. Hope this helps