pooh-bare

Now that's the best advice I've heard as of yet...........Thank you, Rabican

It probably was just nerves...........Take more time if you need it.........and relax.......... be sure to communicate w/your girl.

/wow! Talk about judging! .......I never said I didn't have a self respect issuse and I never said I had self respect b/c of "materalistic needs, feet planted, career" etc........you took that one out of context I believe. My reason for mentioning those things at all was to show that I'm not on welfare and looking for a man to take care of me! ...........However you do make a very valid point........The problem with your point is I took time off, and a lot more than just 2 yrs, I also have been working a 12 Step program for 5 yrs now. My point, I'm human, I have needs that have not been met for a long time and I've found myself in a dilema that I'm not sure how exactly happened, nor am I sure that I like anymore..........I believe the god of my understanding is testing me........

Stop having risky sex and see a doctor!

Good question that I have no answer to!

Sounds like she's moving on........You should also.

Now that you have your stuff back, there's no reason to ever put yourself thru that again.

You're young.........Keep up the NC, get busy with your life and time will heal the wounds.

Whew! That's a tough one.......could be you 2 are just comfortable with each other and you did what would normally come natural, old habits die hard sometimes......I'd say re-examine why you broke up. If you're not ready for a "relationship" with her again, no more sex! Since women usually intrepet having sex as a relationship.

Water can not change the texture or thickness of hair..........Hair changes as we get older, (along with other things!)........Use good professional products, try to stay away from blow dryers and curling irons when possible and get the ends trimmed regularly.

It doesn't, does it?! I guess I feel if I "pick one" then things will change.

I think I'm feeling Old. And I'm afraid of being alone the rest of my life.....If I don't chose one of these men, then there's a HUGE possibility I'll die alone! Crazy? Sure! But my feelings at this moment are real.

I'm sure they do......Judge away. That's why I'm here, to get a grip on all of this.

Neither of them is sleeping with anyone else. This I KNOW FOR A FACT.....I suppose they could be being "punished" but not conscientiously....... I didn't say it was "ok" I said I like it. Difference... I know the difference between right and wrong. I really do. That's why I can't believe I'm in this situation! ....... Am I so desperate to be loved?

STD's are not an issue, trust me! ........ As for the rest, you have a very good observation. Believe it or not, I am (usually) a woman of high integrity and morals, so I find that I am shocked at myself over all of this. It has been cunning and baffling to say the least........I'm in deep and don't know how to get out, nor do I know if I want to get out........"in love" probably not, but I do care for them both. as for the "things they do for me" absolutely I love it all as this is my first experience with this, I'm usually the one who "does the doing" in relationships.........selfish? absolutely!....... If I were replying to this thread instead of writing it, I'd shoot the originator down in a heartbeat!

Yep. That's why I'm having such difficulty with this. It's not "normal" !

Let her go completely.........Move on.........You can not control anyone but you......Live your life...... The pain will pass with time.

I'm a recovering alcoholic & it sounds to me as if your "issues" are alcohol based..............Maybe this will help you (or someone else) Am I an alcoholic? Quiz This simple quiz may help you answer the question, “Am I an alcoholic?” Give yourself one point for each “yes” answer. 1. Do you lose time from work due to your drinking? 2. Is drinking making your home life unhappy? 3. Do you drink because you are shy with other people? 4. Is drinking affecting your reputation? 5. Have you ever felt remorse after drinking? 6. Do you confuse memories of things that have actually happened to you with things that you’ve seen happen to other people on T.V.? 7. Have you gotten into financial dificulties as a result of your drinking? 8. Do you turn to lower companions and an inferior environment when drinking? 9. Have you ever decided to stop drinking for a week or so, but only lasted for a couple of days? 10. Are there periods of time for which you cannot account, no matter how hard you try? 11. Do you wish people would mind their own business about your drinking — stop telling you what to do? 12. Has your ambition decreased since drinking? 13. Have you had to have an eye-opener upon awakening during the past year? 14. Do you envy people who can drink without getting into trouble? 15. Do you ever try to get "extra" drinks at a party because you do not get enough? 16. Do you sometimes “skip” breakfast or lunch so that you’ll have more money to spend on drinks? 17. In arguments, do people quickly concede your point rather than risk having to deal with you when you’ve gotten overexcited? 18. Has the distinction between drinking alone and drinking with others become so badly blurred that you can no longer tell the difference? 19. Do you tell yourself you can stop drinking any time you want to, even though you keep getting drunk when you don't mean to? 20. Are there no longer times when you really don’t mean to get drunk? 21. Do you love me? 22. Do you drink to build up your self-confidence? 23. No, really: do you love me? Scoring: 0-3: Risk low. Even people with no risk of alcoholism sometimes encounter alcohol-related difficulties. 4-10: Risk moderate. Alcohol has probably gotten you into more trouble than you’d like. The possibility that this trend will continue is high unless action is taken soon. 11-20: Risk high. Even you are no longer persuaded by the explanations you give for your drinking. Seek help from someplace other than the place where you usually go when you need help. 21-23: Risk null. You have ascended the high mountain and are now beyond the kenning of normal men. Any advice we might offer you would be wholly redundant.

Agree 100%

I have been putting my needs first, apparently, since I'm seeing them both! Combined, they are the perfect man! I don't feel bad over my own desires, never have. Think that's where my dilema comes into play. They both have things that are the complete opposite of each other that attracts me. As stated already, combined they are the perfect man......... Who said it? "women use sex to get love, men use love to get sex"

Keep in mind: You don't owe anything to anyone but yourself.

Start slow............ask her to have coffee with you.........be non-chalant about it......."wanna grab a cup of java with me?

Then go for it...........Ask her out! What have you got to lose?!

Happiness is not given to us. We have to work for it.

Be careful of being her "rebound" ........ Old saying : Best way to get over one man is to get under another.......easy does it.