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jengh

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Everything posted by jengh

  1. jengh
    My boyfriend is perhaps the scrawniest man alive...that wont work sounds fun though.
  2. jengh
    Not going to give a name, but I had sex with someone who is in the Sopranos. For someone who absolutely LOVES this show, let me tell you, it was hot. He was hot.
  3. jengh
    how do you do that? Sounds fun... I love it when he's on top and sits up kinda... that way, i get to orgasm too (I can't from just sex) and being able to see his face like that is really intimate and gives me butterflies
  4. jengh
    That really is a great idea... With puppies, you have to get up in the middle of the night to let them out, feed them, vet bills, etc... they're hard work.. think of how hard it would be do raise a child. At least puppies grow up to be dogs who can be left alone all day. Like everyone else has said... Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10? Can you honestly tell me you want to have a child and live in your parents' attic for the foreseeable (the spelling on that looks wrong) future? And yes, babies are expensive. Like mentioned in a previous post, I read the statistics of $200,000 also. But on top of the baby, what about providing for YOU and your GIRLFRIEND? Do you honestly think your dad's health insurance is going to cover you, her and a child? It's not going to happen. What about little things like maternity clothes, food (your parents aren't going to be happy feeding 2 extra mouths).. Do you have any interest at all to go to college? What about her? While it IS possible, it is SO hard to get a good education while trying to also raise a child. And think of the baby... When you eventually DO have that child, don't you want it to have the best possible life? Do you want it to grow up poor, on wellfare, unable to have nice Christmases (or hannakuhs, whichever), nice clothing... It's great that you want to be in a commited relationship and want a family, but for your girlfriend's sake, your sake, and your future child's sake... wait. Honestly, what is the rush? Enjoy life. Enjoy being together, just the two of you because when you have that baby, your alone time is history.
  5. jengh
    1. My best friend and I went through depression at the same time in high school... we had a song for it by Alanis Morissette, "That I Would be Good" that I would be good even if i did nothing that I would be good even if i got the thumbs down that I would be good if I got and stayed sick that I would be good even if I gained ten pounds that i would be fine even even if I went bankrupt that i would be good if I lost my hair and my youth that i would be great if I was no longer queen that i would be grand if i was not all knowing that i would be loved even when i numb myself that i would be good even when i am overwhelmed that i would be loved even when i was fuming that i would be good even if i was clingy that i would be good even if i lost sanity that i would be good whether with or without you Also, as someone mentioned before, Johnny Cash's cover of "Hurt". And, again, as mentioned before, Louis Armstrong, "What a Wonderful World" And another by Alanis "Simple Together"...my breakup/depression song: you've been my golden best friend now with post-demise at hand I can't go to you for consolation cause we're off limits during this transition this grief overwhelms me it burns in my stomach and i can't stop bumping into things i thought we'd be simple together i thought we'd be happy together thought we'd be limitless together i thought we'd be precious together but i was sadly mistaken you've been my soulmate and then some i remembered you the moment i met you with you i knew god's face was handsome with you i saw fun and expansion this loss is numbing me it pierces my chest and i can't stop dropping everything i thought we'd be sexy together thought we'd be evolving together i thought we'd have children together i thought we'd be family together but i was sadly mistaken if i had a bill for all the philosophies i shared if i had a penny for all the possibilities i presented if i had a dime for every hand thrown up in the air my wealth would render this no less severe i thought we'd be genius together i thought we'd be healing together i thought we'd be growing together thought we'd be adventurous togheter but i was sadly mistaken thought we'd be exploring together thought we'd be inspired together i thought we'd be flying together thought we'd be on fire together but i was sadly mistaken
  6. jengh
    My boyfriend and I had been friends for about a year.. he lives a couple of hours away and I hadn't seen him in months. We had talked about maybe becoming something more. Well, he picked me up and had to stop for gas. He came around to my side, opened the door, gently grabbed my face and kissed me so gently, yet so deeply. I've never felt "sparks" or "butterflies" like that....I still get them when thinking about it.
  7. jengh
    I am SO sorry for what happened. You are also VERY strong. Reporting this takes a lot of courage. Every day I wish I would've reported it when it happened to me at 14. I think, what other girls are they (there were 2 men) doing this to? Just keep in mind, when they catch him...how many girls you will indirectly be saving. The only thing that helped me was finally coming clean to people what had happened (I went 2 years before telling anyone).. And LOTS of therapy. This is something to think about, and may help you, but it may not: my psychologist recommended I try hypno-therapy. She said that subconsciously, you may remember most of the details of what happened but it may be a bit scary. I never tried it because I didn't think it would do me any good (since it was too late to report it or do anything about it).. Again... I am truly sorry.
  8. jengh
    Wow, that sounds exactly like my mother. When all of my friends were getting their licenses and cars, while I was allowed to get my license, they wouldn't let me use either of their cars. I turned 18 and thought, okay..maybe things will be different. No... Finally, I went off to college. Came home, mom flipped out when I wanted to go out. Once, I went out and stayed out all night (i didnt want to get a DUI!)...they GROUNDED me... I was 19yrs old! That day, I left their house and moved in with my friend until break was over... Just doing this made her realize that I'm not a child anymore. She has to just let me be, let me make my own mistakes. Still, she does get weird when I want to hang out with my friends, but she doesn't stop me (thank god...) It sounds to me like no matter what you say/do, your mother is not going to rationalize with you. But, would she with someone else, say a therapist?
  9. jengh
    I used to think it was absolutely disgusting, but now, it's kinda hot. When I give my bf oral and swallow, though, he makes me brush my teeth
  10. jengh
    oops, sorry. Didn't realize it was going to be that small! My ex and I were together for 4 years and broke up this past March because we just fell out of love with each other. I began dating a new guy and we've been together for 7 months now. The problem is, I'm still great friends with my ex. I still consider him to be one of my closest confidants. The ex feels the same way, I know he's not still in love with me. We hang out once a week or so. I would NEVER EVER even consider cheating on my boyfriend but he doesn't know that I hang out with my ex still.. I would've told him as I have nothing to hide but my ex called once because he needed help naming a new pet he got (i've always been good at coming up with clever names). My boyfriend FLIPPED out (I was sleeping when the call came in), woke me up. BF: Your phone rang Me: Okay, I'll deal with it later, I'm tired BF: I think you should see who it was Me: Okay, if you insist. **checks phone, sees it was ex who called** BF: I know who that was, you know. Me: Okay... BF: I should've answered it Me: You could've, I have nothing at all to hide BF: Well, what did he want? He doesn't need to be calling you.. etc, etc, etc.... Now, if he was still friends with his ex, I would be extremely jealous and I really don't know if I would want him to tell me about it if there was definitely nothing going on.... What do you think? Should I tell him? It's going to upset him, which I don't want to do......
  11. jengh
    My ex and I were together for 4 years and broke up this past March because we just fell out of love with each other. I began dating a new guy and we've been together for 7 months now. The problem is, I'm still great friends with my ex. I still consider him to be one of my closest confidants. The ex feels the same way, I know he's not still in love with me. We hang out once a week or so. I would NEVER EVER even consider cheating on my boyfriend but he doesn't know that I hang out with my ex still.. I would've told him as I have nothing to hide but my ex called once because he needed help naming a new pet he got (i've always been good at coming up with clever names). My boyfriend FLIPPED out (I was sleeping when the call came in), woke me up. BF: Your phone rang Me: Okay, I'll deal with it later, I'm tired BF: I think you should see who it was Me: Okay, if you insist. **checks phone, sees it was ex who called** BF: I know who that was, you know. Me: Okay... BF: I should've answered it Me: You could've, I have nothing at all to hide BF: Well, what did he want? He doesn't need to be calling you.. etc, etc, etc.... Now, if he was still friends with his ex, I would be extremely jealous and I really don't know if I would want him to tell me about it if there was definitely nothing going on.... What do you think? Should I tell him? It's going to upset him, which I don't want to do......
  12. jengh
    I believe that it is a combination of the two, inner strength and antidepressants, that can help a lot of people although many don't need the chemicals to feel better. Have you talked to a therapist or psychiatrist? I recommend discussing different options with your primary care doctor. Tell him/her how you're feeling and ask if he/she feels antidepressants might help you at all. At the very least, they could give you a referral to a psychiatrist.
  13. jengh
    More likely than not, he was just joking around and meant nothing by it. But, if you're like me in this sense, you read into everything that could possibly have the slightest chance of meaning something else (negative), you jump the gun and assume the worst. I'm sure it's nothing. Do you have any reason to suspect he would EVER be unfaithful to you? Does he comment on how beautiful other women are?
  14. jengh
    I am in the same situation, except we don't live together and see each other once a week. Before, we always had a fantastic sex life, he'd always get me off first. Now, not only has he NOT been getting me off (even though he PROMISES next time he will like 3 times or whatever), he doesn't even want to do anything. The weekend before last, didn't see him last weekend as he was "too busy" cutting wood, we did it on friday night (i intiated, was on top, etc. woke him up to do it) and he wasn't really into it. figured he was tired. So on Saturday, I started taking off his pants to go down on him. He enjoyed it (obviously), but when i started to try and pull him closer to have sex, he said "not now". I said okay, and we didn't do it later either. Sunday, tried again before I went home, same deal. Not now. Asked why, all he said was 'i dont know'. (I KNOW he would never cheat on me and he says he doesnt really masturbate because he likes to "wait" for me) Why do they do this!? I've tried just backing off and not initiating it, but if i don't, he NEVER will. Sorry, i don't mean to 'take over' your post with my problem, but thought I'd share and let you know that you are definitely not the only one suffering with this. I'm very happy for you that the masturbating thing helped. I tried that. No success.
  15. jengh
    While I was at college, I went out with a guy who seemed to be a nice guy and good person. We were friends and I felt I could trust him so we drank together. I got really drunk and he started trying to kiss me, touch me, etc. I told him no, absolutely not. He backed off and said he was sorry. I told him, I want to go home. He said okay, let me just go to the bathroom first. I wound up passing out in that time. He had sex with me. Turns out he really hadn't been drinking. Just pop. In that situation, yes, in part it was my fault but I clearly told him NO, i did not want to have sex with him and to take me home. So, in my opinion, I think it was more on him because he, in a way, tricked me. He KNEW I didn't want to beforehand.
  16. jengh
    this website will tell you if he blocked you on MSN, AIM, Yahoo... link removed
  17. jengh
    I definitely agree. Would you rather have her answering her phone every 15 minutes when you go out?
  18. jengh
    I feel terrible about it now, but this sounds exactly like how I treated my ex. Everything he did drove me crazy. Sex was a chore and I would find any excuse to get out of it. Yet, I couldn't let him go. He was comfortable to me. I knew that no matter what i did, he would love me and forgive me (I cheated on him in Paris and he found out, I cheated on him with my other ex and he found out). After a while, I just fell completely out of love with him but I couldn't let him go because I couldn't see him happy with another woman. Everytime he'd try to kiss me, touch me, I'd get pissed. I'm not saying she doesn't love you, but I am saying that she sounds a heck of a lot like me in my last relationship. You need to let her go. Somewhere, there is a girl that will treat you as great as you treat her. Who will love you as much as you love her.
  19. jengh
  20. jengh
    Ellie: Yes, we split the costs pretty much down the middle. We like to drink together, and he usually pays for that. I usually pay for the cigarettes (we're both smokers when alcohol is involved). It just makes me so mad because before he bought her house, we were doing so well together. We truly were making each other happy. When we're out doing things (we both live in Northern MI in tiny towns with nothing to do, so doing things consists of going to movies, going to parties..) it's great. He mentioned once how difficult his ex was, how much they'd always fight. I had to fight the urge to say, "No, it's not HER that's difficult, it's YOU!" Meow: He's older than me, 27... It's time for him to grow up. I'm going to go see him tomorrow and have a long talk with him. I don't think all of this can be said over IM or phone.
  21. jengh
    My ex and I still hang out about once a week and our relationship has never been better. We used to fight all the time when we were together (something he did was ALWAYS bugging me), but we haven't fought since we broke up. I appreciate the support. Thank you. Gives me some things to dwell on.
  22. jengh
    It's hard for me. I'm a little overweight and because of that, guys don't give me the time of day. I don't think I'm ugly, just not attractive enough. It's hard finding a guy who cares about me. I can't help comparing every guy I meet with my ex boyfriend. We dated for four years, he was (and still is, in a way) my best friend. No one will ever love me the way he did. But, some things aren't meant to last. We fell out of love with each other. But every guy I come accross, I can't help thinking "Chae ALWAYS respected and loved that about me", "Chae would always make sacrifices for me"... And yes, I am 100% over him. It's just hard being at a big university. There's always someone better than me that guys go for. I know, you'll find the guy when you aren't looking. Whatever.
  23. jengh
    Thank you for saying that. It made me break down and cry but i've been thinking that in the back of my mind, just not admitting it to myself. I guess I needed someone else to say it to me to make it real. I do feel like I care about him more than he does about me (something I promised myself I would never do), but he does talk about the future which just throws me off. sigh. Back in January, I had a terrible breakdown that took me months to recover from and he helped me through that, he helped me to be happy again. Now, I feel myself having more and more "bad days".
  24. jengh
    I completely understand the fact that he can't just kick her out, I wouldn't want her to, but i just wish he would stand up for me, tell her not to talk to me like that. Okay, I don't ALWAYS go down there. He came to see me ONCE. In six months. One week out of however many were in the past 6 months. I want to be stubborn and just say, "forget it, I'm not going down there anymore until you start to respect my feelings and possibly come see me every now and then", but I give in too easily and that sucks. If I was "welcome" at his house, I could understand going down there all of the time because we would have a place to sleep, but because we have to spend money each time on a hotel room, I feel that he should come up here half of the time.
  25. jengh
    I've been friends with my boyfriend for about a year now, but we've been dating for a little over 6 months. He recently bought his grandmother's house. He lives 2 hours away from me and I'm ALWAYS the one to drive down to see him (he's "too busy doing stuff around the house...the weekends are his only time to get things done" blah blah blah excuses) but when I stayed there, we were ALWAYS respectful of her (sleeping in different bedrooms). I was always nothing but nice to her. Randomly one evening, my boyfriend and I were watching tv in the basement, she came downstairs and went off on ME saying she thought she had a month left of where the upstairs was "hers" (really, the written deal was that she has a month to get her stuff out and stay there if needed, not that she still OWNED the place) and i have absolutely no respect for her, on and on. Then she left for the night. My boyfriend didn't say a word to her then, and not a word to her since about it. She specifically told him that she would not be apologizing to me but apologized to him for saying something about how he didn't pick up after himself. He didn't even ask why and told me it would be best if i didn't go over there. We have been fighting for 2 months over this (TWO! She's STILL not out of the {mod edit} house!!!!!!) and he wouldn't even tell her how much it upset me. I have begged him to find out when she's leaving but he just says no, that it would only cause problems. Am I being ridiculous here? He's making me feel like I am. I make so many sacrifices to see him, spending 4 hours driving total just to see him (soemtimes, I go down there twice a week). I feel like he could at least do me this one favor. When I do come down, we have to go get a hotel room. It's getting so expensive! I'm a full-time college student and have had a hard time finding a job. I dont even know what i want to ask you guys. I'm just getting so frustrated, sick of crying about this and sick of spending $100 a week. And, most of all, i'm sick of fighting. I love him, I truly do and I know he loves me, but is it worth it?
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