FortunateOne
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Everything posted by FortunateOne
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You're welcome. Focus on you and what you believe. As a man I will tell you what I've told my sister. There three types of men in the world: a fast talker, a drifter and a slow-but-steady. A fast talker are the players that only want one thing, but are not hiding their intent. The drifter are the lost man that have issues with commitment and are selfish in their actions with a hidden agenda. Finally, the slow-and-steady that are in tune with what they want from a lady and slowly get to know her in order to discern if she is the one who deserves his full attention, yet he acts as a gentleman in his intent. The aforementioned along with Dr. Laura's, of radio fame, view of the difference between a male, a childishly selfish adult, and a man, a maturely secure responsible adult, should be the best way to appoach any possible future relations with my gender. Just a suggestive thought to ponder. Again, you're welcome and thank you for the courage to emotionally open up with us on ENA. Stay yourself and be positive about the great future in front of you. Good luck and God bless.
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Brother and Envy of his sexual conquests
FortunateOne replied to charliepapa's topic in Sex and Romance
Charliepapa, It seems you don't know what you want. Get laid? A meaningful realtionship? Which is it? A real man, not just a male following his instincts to reproduce, will want a relationship. You need to figure out what you stand for. Right now you have something going for you that most males don't have, purity. Check out the good advice that sumguy posted. Just remember you can't fake confidence or a real relationship. -
In my humble unexpert opinion I think the dense closed end strings of empty space compresses open ended string of energy into what matter is all about. thereforeeee explaining gravity, universal constant, the acceleration of galaxies, and so forth. Then again I'm a bit crazy.
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No problem, BTW astronomy is a hobby of mine. Let us know when it comes out so I can buy it and send it to you for signing. Hey, what's your take on string theory? Just wondering. My view is strange to say the least.
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Back in the late 90's I dealt with being broke. I lost a car, almost my home and was quite mad at money being the root of all evil. Then I realized that money is just a tool and the evil comes from the handler of said tool. WOW! Was I being evil to refer to manage it in that manner? Yes. I realized I fell into the idolatry that society puts on money. I quit projecting a lifestyle where I falsely fed my ego with the admiration of others envy of me. I learned to live below my means at that time I chose to pay cash for all my earthly needs. To this day I've been very successful in applying the money management lessons learned. The only debt I take on is for profitable business ventures. It take a lot of dicipline, yet if I can do so can anyone.
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I gree with both postings above. As far as love in the bible there are four different types: eros, phileo, storgae, and agape. My guess is that she meant agape love. Then again you'd have to ask for clarification.
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Yes, trust was broken, but not by you. Is his image more important than you? Is privacy more of an excuse? I think you're a very emotionally balance intelligent lady and has truly discerned the reasons for his actions. It hurts not to feel wanted, yet look at his selfish mental condition. As you let go you will learn a lot about how not to commit one's heart unless the other is on the same level or as some say equally yoked. He has issues and is floating around without a plan to better himself. Distance yourself from him and focus on your life.
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Has anybody ever tried Love Spells?
FortunateOne replied to faithful's topic in Emotions and Feelings
I don't want to get personal but lets say it works. Why would you want to spiritually commit an act of coercion on an unwilling soul. If you truly love someone give them the freedom to love back even if it means not loving back. To go down this track borders on obsessively selfish needs. I've learned to get love one must be willing to give love in a healthy manner. Just a thought. -
Don't let him go. Go for it today. This is a great event since it's nice to see a fellow guy go beyond the friendzone with who he truly loves.
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The way I overcame my self confidence issue was to quit denying the fact that I grew up alone with out a father figure to show me the ropes. Once I confronted that, among other childhood issues, I was able to walk around with my head up high and as a humbly proud man I wanted to become. That sense of purpose is what game me a drive that's made what I'm today. This purpose translate into a confidence that attracts healthy women and thereforeeee healthy relationships. And by relationships I don't mean a Booty call, I mean a deep care for the females of our human race. When you project that sense that you care and need women in a loving way as a part of your life they will find that irresistible. This my friend is a very intense ability that one needs to not corupt. This why I suggest to stablish moral character.
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By the way I used to live in Costa Mesa 12 years so I understand the dilema.
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I used to have the same issue and it hit me that I was too negative in the vibe I gave off. Once I changed that in me women gravitated towards me, then again your in OC Cali. LA and OC are way too difficult to meet women since their cought up in the "social status" game. Unless your a big player it's tough to play that game. When I live in San Diego in my 20's women where a lot more open and way less "stuck up" about talking and relating to men. Just a thought.
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That's why compatibility equals companionship.
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Well, passion is lust. This never lasts, that's why people call it the honeymoon phase. Since you guys where friends to begin with maybe you've grown to enjoy each other's company. I've spoken to a few elderly couple on how they stayed together for so long and they all had similatiy in companionship to credit for the lenght of their marriage. Remember lust is not love. Do people lust their God or love him, do people lust their pets or love them. Get my point. Don't throw out a great guy, unless you're incompatable, just because you've lost you mojo.
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How to not go forward with a relationship
FortunateOne replied to LostInMyThoughts's topic in Dating Advice
Everyone is correct, be sincerly kind. It works for me -
Do you think that with Love all things are possible? Yes, as long as we continue to give unconditional love and leave the fantasy behind. Does your love for your partner trump everything? Yes, as long as you maintain a healthy self worth identity. Does love mean to you that you will do anything , try anything to have a good relationship? I agree with melrich on this. Weight out the situation and apply it judiciously. Am I a hopeless romantic ( not that that's bad ) or Is love enough to make it work? Love along with wisdom and understanding is enough, yet leave the fantasy behind and remain grounded that we're only human.
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This is a great attitude to approach this life changing decission. Remember we're hre to support you and advice on how to develop a healthy life too.
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You need to discern more about these men and books are agreat guide to this. My sister and female friends love Dr. Laura's (link removed) advice of childhood issues and women mate selection. Also "Help, I'm In Love with a Narcissist" by Steven Carter & Julia Sokol is a great way to find out which men are selfishly in it for themselves. Since you've mentioned church above as a place you meet these guys read the whole book of Proverbs to really discern which men deserve a wonderful Godly woman. These suggestions should give you a good starting point to make that paradigm shift towards finding and picking the right level headed and caring men. link removed
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I would suggest you get him to a therapist ASAP. I hope his not as stuborn as I was when my sisters tried to help me. I went through the same abuse issues when I was a child. You also need to rethink what's best for you and your child if he falls deeper into self a destructive behavior. It took a major paradigm shift for me to change. Part of it was to forgive my mother for putting me in such a dangerous environment. These are tough issues and it wonderful you care so much. Hang in there for now and get him help soon.
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Where do you feel sick? A friend of mine has IBS and has to stick to a strick diet to function with out discomfort.
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Resentment in a relationship
FortunateOne replied to KC1's topic in Marriage/Long Term Relationships
I feel for you. I've been through a similar problem with a woman I meet two years ago. I gave her some space to solve her issues with the advise to switch therapist. You see, her old therapist was more into supporting and dwelling on her issues that came from unresolved childhood problems with her mother and father. Now her new therapist focused on accepting her parents for what they are and letting go of the resentment she had that was affecting her current male relationships. This has brought us closer as friends, yet we decided she needed some time to find the new woman she wants to be. For now I'm leaving it in God's hands and an open door if she wants a future with me. Maybe this can help. -
You don't like where things are going, where are they going? Your parents don't know. How old are you for them to care? Your disrespecting them. It says "honor" your father and mother not live for them. My advise would depend on what's going on in your life and for you to be honest with yourself. By being on this forum shows you're not selfish and it's good you're taking his feeling into consideration.
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You're right abotu Cali and how people behave, yet it's been great for me businesswise. I see your having issues selling. If you want I can offer advice on how to realistically market your house. August of '05 was the market peak and it's become a buyes's market. It means more concesions for the buyers. Presentation of new paint, floor coverings & landscaping is so important for a house to sell fast along with being the least expesive on the block. That's how I sell my rehab properties fast. Something to think about.
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I don't know if it's me but it seems you have a self worth issue. This is like a magnet to non-healthy guys. Are pregant by him? Well, there are so many questions of how this happened, aside from the biological. You might need a moment of reflection on what's occurred here. One thing I will say that good men wait to have sex, great men wait until the final commitment of marriage. You say wait for a while before sex. How long? A bad man will not wait around too long; about three months. I think after you deal with this situation some sort of paradigm shift should be instituted in what you project to men so as to get the well deserving men to pay attention.
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I don't mean to pry, but I would need to know more to accuratly tell you what can be the issue. Who are you as a person in detail? Have you soul searched for your indentity? What's your circumstances that lead to this cycle? Where are you finding or attracting these guys? Why do you feel it's you and not them? Do you know what you want in a man's indentity? How do you act when the right guys are around?