FortunateOne
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Everything posted by FortunateOne
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Is there a basis to this subject line of questioning to your current situation? Or, are these more general questions for the informal thoughts of people?
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I'm Guatemalan with German blood in my vains.
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Well, he is as confused as you are. I'd say stay positive with the communication for now and wait for one of those real honest and peaceful conversation moments to ask what happened with out arguing about it. Take it day by day for now and do positive things to maintain and heal the relationship.
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Maybe because he seems like a manipulative type A personality selfish control freak semi-narciccist 27 year old that healthy grown adult women don't want.
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All I can tell you is that she is not a fully mature adult. Most people find their self indetity in life at about their mid twenties. She still needs to grow more with her peers as the base of her future experience.
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This is why most young adults hate to get too serious with their lovers. You need to take it slow and see where this leads. All I know from friends that got married young is that their identity changed and thereforeeee their relationships ended in divorce in their late twenties due to the different wants in life.
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Wow! You see this is what it is to be a confident man. You do what you want with passion and disregard all the labels that people assign you. Once you're at peace with you and being alone then women will find you handsome. If you seem needy then they will run far and fast from you.
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The thing is if you're her mentally and emotionally healthy lover or the saving "therpist" that help her during her healing and self discovery. This is what she will decide when she's mentally well in the future. No one know, not even her right now how she will change her mind set. And then there's your part in this. Are you her Knight in shining armor that's there to save her? This shows how you may need some assistance. People seem to think they can change others, but the truth is only she can change. I think you can stick it out but remember that there will always be great a possibility that it won't work out.
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Well, if she was understanding about his financial contribution and current condition the healthy attitude would be to emotionaly support him and not control the access and possesion of the shared living arragement, then she would pass.
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I really don't see where on my posting I said housewives, but for your info my mother has this attitude and my sisters, extended family and her therapist agree with it. I enable it when she guilts me into financially assiting her. She's never had a job. I and my sisters were put into mental and physical abusive environments as children. I was forced to work for cash at 13 to give her my WHOLE income to contribute to the household. How does this apply to B-bear's situation? Do to my childhood, I always used to seek out these types of women since it's the only form of love I thought I deserved and knew. I've been where B-bear is now. I had to do a lot of self analysis in order to come to change my choice in women, yet I still want my future wife to have it all with out her needing to work at all. Now I test the women I date to see if they deserve my financial foundation god's given me.
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Look, I know you've made a commitment to her to pay and I know 80% is not fair, but either you leave her to go back home or you suck it up and ask her to seek help with her control issues. I hate to say this but she reminds me of the way my own Mother treats her men in her life as the toxic narccisist she is, yet I still financially help her out when I know she feels entitled to it, but I'm enabling the spoiling of her. Some women are like this and you are going to have to figure it out.
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Well, maybe it's your attitude which is seen as confidence by women. I too hang out with many women when I was your age in the restaurant and retail banking industry and had the same problem. I discovered in my early thirties that it was my attitude. Could this be it?
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When is her lease up or expires?
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IMO, no, since to leave depression behind means to change your mental outlook on life. This causes one to want what they thought couldn't be had with relationships under the depressed mind set. This is what happened to me when I healed my mental state many years ago.
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Ellie'06 is right on. You need to figure out what you want.
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Leases and utilities don't get reported to the credit bureau unless you're in collections.
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As an existing tenant he still has possesion rights regardless if he is on the lease or not. I think this is an issue of control more than anything else.
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You're the boss' son? And, you want to dip your pen in company ink? I think I see why you're having female issues at work. DUDE! You need to meet women outside of work so there are no conflict of interest on these women's mind.
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B-bear, what's the real issue here? This seems to me a result from a deeper problem of commitment or control on both your parts.
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This is due to your age and it's what growth and wisdom is all about. You both are working to find your self indentity in the world and, sad to say, it may not work. Just roll with it now and figure out what you want out of life, then focus on that. If God meant it to be then it will. Keep faith in you for the great future God has in store for you.
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The way you posed your original post gave it a feel as if you were leaching off her, but as we aske questions we get to the root of your request. Talk to the landlord to ad you to the lease and them you'll get a key.
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Landlord-Tenant laws differ from state to state, but here in Cali a tenant that is not on the lease has the same property enjoyment rights as the leasee, thereforeeee you should have access to it.
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Do you currently have a place? And, for the first six months did you have a place?
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Deep inside you know if she was right or not about the time you put into her. It takes an equal contributions from both to make it work or fail. My suggestion is that she has a psychological insecurity that makes her more needy if she wants so much attention, but then again look at how long you went out with her and never made the ultimate commitment of marriage. At 23 it's kind of young to truly know your identity as a man, yet alone a couple. I'd say to have a deeply honest conversation about this matter. If you both aren't confortable about this then you both need more growth as individules. Take it slow and let it develop for now, but communication is the key to this working out.
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Very funny. Well, if you want to find a loop hole, there it is. Just start a legal entity under your state's department of corporations rules for an entertainment business and then have your legal third party pay for the production of what ever nefarious things you want to commit. Remember that in the end this will all be held agaist you by the ultimate judge, God.