FortunateOne

So true and I keep looking forward to my next string.

Cool allegory for life's memories. Keep it coming.

Bravo! Keep it coming.

Hey Beo, Yet another great poem... It took being your Secret Santa for me to discover your talent. I hope you enjoyed your gift I hope can one day attain. Keep it coming and I wish the best future possible. Laters.

So we come full circle to the OP's originally given advice; A positive paradigm shift to let go of the anger that comes from the frustration of not being in control which is a beginning trait of narcissistic tendencies.

But a Samurai by it's nature served a master to the death. Maybe a Ronin.

Awesome post! Took my thoughts from my mind. All business cultures require teamwork to play in a positive manner. This is why when I interview a prospective new employee I make sure they fit into our culture for each individule department. This is why attitude is very important in representing your skills.

Has anyone considered that the OP can't find a real man/good guy because she's herself not in an emotional state for a real man to want? All the negative traits of the "nice guy" can also be applied towards a woman's behavior. I know I'd run if a woman was passive/non-assertive/doormats type with out a solid confident identity, or worse a self centered narcissistic persona.

Charley and Poloplayer have made excellent posts. To add my two cents, in anything you decide to invest it's better to be an inside player than on the outside. I do real estate investment for a living and being on the inside has paid off for me. You would not believe how much you can save by eliminating the "rebate" (hidden commissions) that's factored into the pricing of products. So what ever you invest in, do your research and maybe become licensed or a least work part time in it so you can navigate your way in a profitable manner. Check out my thread:

This is the right attitude to develop a healthy confidence as a man and continue the discovery of your identity so this confidence will grow. As for the original poster, this is why being friends with a down to earth guy is the best way to find a real man that wants you to compliment his life, not complete something he or you feel that's missing. Look for these types of men. So trust yourself and build a beautiful life and as Batya33 wrote about her experience there is always room to learn from life's challages.

YES! 100% correct about this trait.

Wow! So you give up? Imagine if someone you cared for of the oposite sex said this state?!?!? Unattractive, isn't it? Don't give up just adjust your strategy. Remember what's the definition of insanity: TO do the same thing over and over again and expecting defferent results. You attract what you put out. Become a whole person and you'll get a whole mate. Life is so much enjoyable when you have positive control of your environment. Attitude is the secret, so, just go for it and do it. I agree 100%. This is what maturity is all about.

Orlander, What type of business does this man run? Does he need licensing for it? What city or county is he licensed to do business? Does he have assets of any type (real estate, bank accounts, industial equipment, etc.)? The reason for asking is that in my line of work my vendors place notorized voluntary liens (UCC filing ot Trust Deed) on these items as security for services or materials rendered. You need to maintain a positive relationship so you can lien any assets of his without further complicating the situation. This lien needs to be recorded with the local county records so it pops up on his credit rating until released. This is what I do with with the money I lend. Just a thought.

Hey RayKay, Your an outstanding woman to put so much care, respect and thought into healing your relationship. Rest assure in the fact that your an awesome partner and you both deserves each other. I'm very sure he's busy with work and missed writing the usual loving gesture. Be confident and never doubt yourself since his current action is an aberration. thereforeeee, throw away this wrong mind set to focus on the positivity you bring to each other's life. Remember, your thoughts are your actions. Never forget we (ENA'ers) all caringly love you and that you're a great woman. Take care today and always be positive. Nuturing Hugs, MG

Obviously this is different for everyone, but it all boils down to what type of political or morale lifestyle you perscribe to. My self I am of a conservative nature and maintain a active role in living my faith which influence my female relationships to be "friends" before taking it the next steps. So, after the initial meeting I usually wait 5 to 6 months before holding hands, first kiss and caressing acts, but I make a choice to suspend any and all sexual intimacy until the ultimate commitment of marriage. I'm not perfect, as no one is, which has given way to temptation on previous relationships. When it's occurred my relationship positively teach me since I feel betrayed by my own lack of discipline to control my selfish animal instinct and, unjustifiably, lowers my respect of the woman it happened with. It's not easy to keep a balance between faith and instinct, but these are the trials or lessons we must acknowledge in order to live as we want. Well, to borrow your anology, the first law would cover the emotional mental health that comprise your current life as a steady unwavering belief that continues to fulfill your confident self. The second law would be the sum total momentum of your current strong emotinal and spiritual foundation multiplied by the personal growth you bring into your life. thereforeeee, the third law that you mention will be of such character momentum that when an outside negative force acts the reaction would bounce off your person as a ghat bounces of a locomotive. This is why a solid self respect is so vital to the healthy emotional control we seek in our actions. Mind that we're not perfect and we do fall on occasion which is a required prerequisite in the journey that is life. So don't let past negative experiences affect the strong and healthy woman you are and want to become. Remember, you control you and discern the right course for you. How I wish this was the attitude that people adopt in order to mitigate quite a lot of heart ache. #3. The emotinal foundation that's required from the equally yoked partners as the relationship progresses, unless one partner is in the dominant position which would be the exception or unequaly yoked. Yes, it's what happens when the emotional relationship is driven by flippant instictual liberties rather then a healthy disciplined self respect. Yes, that's why mutual self analysis and growth is vital to a healthy relationship and this can only happen by creating a emotinal foundation before romantic intimacy. Quite simply, the emotinal seriousness of the parties involved. The OP's hypothesis is some what congruent to the depth of positive emotinal growth in one's life. And, as we grow we become more serious about our expectations. This is why I opine that sex should not be introduced until the ultimate commitment of marriage for there to be deep loving bond. And this is emotinally positive to one's self esteem in what way? Yes! Exactly! This doesn't make sense since you argue the relationships are "identical" and yet there's an outside variable that's inconsistent. This is why this is more about individual emotinal indentity issue then anything else. There's no way this can be quantified so thereforeeee her prose is based more on her inductive reasoning of the matter. Yes! I second this quote. I'm not aware of any studies but, I'll admit, my opinion is influenced in an unfair way due to my personal faith and life experience. I hope some study will turn up to see the results.

Hello everyone, My best friend is suffering from a debilitating form of IBS that was due to her diet when she was a model in her teens and early twenties. All the doctors she's seen tell her there's nothing they can do to help her, but the conventional medication that doesn't work. Plus she follows an extreme diet to help alleviate the pain and function for a few days of the week. It's now to the point that it takes her between two to ten hours just to get ready every day before work. Thank God she has an understanding employer, but it's really limiting her personal and social life. Oh, to add more issues she went through successful chemo therapy a few years back for thyroid cancer and is currently taking medicine to regulate her body. Now, as I researched this during the last few years I've suggested that it might be either Coeliac Disease or Candidiasis Syndrome, but I'm no doctor. I did discover that there are some different treatments outside of the United States FDA rules, but I need more information. So, is anyone out in the world with any possible suggestion for treatment or cure can help me find alternative options for this disorder? Or maybe, can I have some diagnostic option to fine tune this to a more specific disorder? Thanks, MG

Yes, exactly right. We've covered why you're selfish in this scenario, she too is selfish since she's more interested in feeding the empty whole that her life represents with promiscuity instead of her mental health and respect. She has no self discipline and thereforeeee spoils her self with destructive behaviour. Her self pity and constant search for approval is the unloving selfish act she does to cry out; real love is about giving, not receiving. This is why darkpumpkin and meow18 posted their view. You see how important it is to wisely discern before you act. This, my friend, is wisdom and maturity, so do the right manly move and give her caring love by planting the seed of emotional growth.

Definitions of selfish on the Web [*] [*]concerned chiefly or only with yourself and your advantage to the exclusion of others; "Selfish men were...trying to make capital for themselves out of the sacred cause of civil rights"- Maria Weston Chapman link removed [*]Selfishness is a primary or sole concern with one's own welfare. link removed I guess the previous posters and I are wrong since by defenition he's not taking sole advantage of her obsession which is not manipulative. I withdraw my view. Take care and good luck.

11 to 14 months on average A year

It is selfish when you don't understand her psycological obsessive behavior. She may not acknowledge it right now, but this life style will catch up to her sooner or later and affect her in a negative manner. What would you tell her if she was your sister? Then again you can do what ever you want since you've made up your mind, just remember the imprint you leave on the world.

Some of your previous threads have this same tone, so please open up and tell us what transpired for you to get to this point. I think your actions are indicative of a much deeper issue.

NSA is boyish behaviour since it's justifying selfish physical gratification over the mental health of the other. How would you like the object of your obsession for the last four years sleeped with you with out regards to your negative self image; which this girl has based on her self protayal. You may not like hearing it, but character is doing the right thing even when it goes against your natural, yet selfish needs.

I'd say no since part of becoming a mature man is to leave boyish behaviour behind. It seems that you can do a lot more damage to her lack of self respect by contribiting to her unhealthy actions. So, if I were you, I'd consul her on why she is behaving in such a unlady like manner and to learn that sex is the icing on a relationship cake.

Yes, if your a narcissist. BUT I don't think your one, so how can we really get the root of the problem and understand how this came about?

So, your asking for advise on how to be manipulative and evil. Hmm! My suggestion is to read quite a few books on ethics and morality and then you can start to live a wholesome life where you can respect others, even if they don't reciprocate it back. Is this something you might be interested in discussing on this forum?